The Poop

Now I'm in the Mood for Chipotle

2012-01-30T01:26:00.000-05:00

The town of East Haven, Connecticut is grappling with tension between its Latino community and the police force, which has no Latino officers. But don't worry Mayor Joseph Maturo has a plan to reach out to the Latino community:

"I might have tacos when I go home, I'm not quite sure yet."

While this was obviously a distasteful and inflammatory thing to say I once again want to point out how ridiculous it is to call someone bigoted for merely suggesting a certain ethnic group likes to eat a certain type of food. That's why they're called ethnic foods.

It is not racist to say Mexican (not all Hispanics) people like to eat tacos.
It is not racist to say black people like collard greens and fried chicken.
It is not racist to Jewish people like matzo ball soup.

But this mayor is still a moron.

All is Well, There's No Need to Panic

2012-01-27T23:34:00.001-05:00

It was 60 degrees today in New York City. On January 27th. I guess we should all freak out about global warming now. Not so say 16 scientists who co-signed an op-ed in today's Wall Street Journal.

"In spite of a multidecade international campaign to enforce the message that increasing amounts of the "pollutant" carbon dioxide will destroy civilization, large numbers of scientists, many very prominent, [aren't so sure]. And the number of scientific "heretics" is growing with each passing year. The reason is a collection of stubborn scientific facts.
Perhaps the most inconvenient fact is the lack of global warming for well over 10 years now."
The lack of warming for more than a decade—indeed, the smaller-than-predicted warming over the 22 years since the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) began issuing projections—suggests that computer models have greatly exaggerated how much warming additional CO2 can cause. Faced with this embarrassment, those promoting alarm have shifted their drumbeat from warming to weather extremes, to enable anything unusual that happens in our chaotic climate to be ascribed to CO2. The fact is that CO2 is not a pollutant."

"Why is there so much passion about global warming, and why has the issue become so vexing that the American Physical Society, from which Dr. Giaever resigned a few months ago, refused the seemingly reasonable request by many of its members to remove the word "incontrovertible" from its description of a scientific issue? There are several reasons, but a good place to start is the old question "cui bono?" Or the modern update, "Follow the money."
Alarmism over climate is of great benefit to many, providing government funding for academic research and a reason for government bureaucracies to grow. Alarmism also offers an excuse for governments to raise taxes, taxpayer-funded subsidies for businesses that understand how to work the political system, and a lure for big donations to charitable foundations promising to save the planet."

"Speaking for many scientists and engineers who have looked carefully and independently at the science of climate, we have a message to any candidate for public office: There is no compelling scientific argument for drastic action to "decarbonize" the world's economy. Even if one accepts the inflated climate forecasts of the IPCC, aggressive greenhouse-gas control policies are not justified economically.

Every candidate should support rational measures to protect and improve our environment, but it makes no sense at all to back expensive programs that divert resources from real needs and are based on alarming but untenable claims of "incontrovertible" evidence."

This pretty much sums up the stance that I and other rational people (without any scientific knowledge) have been saying for years. Yes global warming is real. But the extent of mankind's role in it was vastly overstated. And the alarming speed of global warming was really just a temporary acceleration when compared to one of the coldest periods in history, the 1970s.
The global warming alarmists are moral narcissists who have some weird kind of Munchausen's Syndrome. They want the world to be sick, so they can be the one to make it get better.
Maybe at the beginning of the movement scientists did have reason to believe their most dire predictions, and they sold Al Gore a bill of goods. But the evidence has changed. Only at this point it's too late. In for a penny, in for a pound. So we continue to waste money on green energy companies, grants to fund falsified research and promote a job-killing anti-business agenda to try to solve a problem that may not exist 50 or 100 years, if it exists at all.

What Do You Give Me For? Newt Gingrich & Dwight Schrute

2012-01-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

What do you give me for Dwight Schrute and a young Newt Gingrich?

The Fashion Police

2012-01-25T15:46:00.000-05:00

In November 2008 Michelle Obama appeared on The Tonight Show and Jay Leno (in an obvious set-up) asked her how much her outfit cost. She said it was J. Crew and the liberal media went nuts, praising the First Lady for being an everywoman, for shopping where you shop and still being the “Commander in Chic.”

Fast forward to 2012, the State of the Union Address. Here’s what people.com wrote about the First Lady’s dress: “As the President declared his intent to help buoy the 99%, his wife dazzled in a cobalt sheath from Barbara Tfank’s resort collection. While reps for the brand won’t reveal the item’s retail price, a similar style from the collection is currently available at Barney’s New York for $2,400.”

I don’t have a problem with Michelle Obama wearing fancy clothes. I really don’t. My problem is the liberal media who tried to make her out to be a normal woman who had no use for the expensive things her no celebrity would provide her.

Vogue called her “the First Lady the World’s Been Waiting For.” No she isn’t. She is a greedy pig just like every other politician, politician’s wife and celebrity. They will take whatever they can get their hands on. Michelle Obama is not like you and me. And she probably hasn’t worn J Crew once since that stunt on the Tonight Show.

Song of the Week

2012-01-25T01:23:00.000-05:00

"Over Like a Fat Rat" - Fonda Rae
In the 1970s and into the 1980s there was a whole genre of funk music with great guitar riffs, drum beats and bass lines, but the stupidest lyrics you've ever heard.
This one is particularly good example but the bass line is so funky it was sampled on one of the seminal songs of hip-hop, "Eric B is President."

Julian and the Three Very Annoying Bears

2012-01-24T14:38:00.000-05:00

This Hanukah we broke Mama Poop's heart. We told her no more singing bears. We hate stuffed animals of any kind because they are useless, never get played with and take up a lot of space. That goes double for stuffed animals that play a song when a tail, foot or paw is squeezed. Unfortunately those actually do get played with. And all at the same time. And since there is a dearth of Hanukkah songs they all play "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel."
Watch the video and I am sure you will understand why we put an end to Mama Poop's short-lived tradition of buying a new singing bear every year.

What a fantastic cameo from Chase. He jumps in, screams nonsense and slaps Julian in the face.

What I Should Have Said Theater

2012-01-24T00:30:00.000-05:00

This is what Penn State alumni should be saying about the death of Joe Paterno:

"For many years Joe Paterno was a shining light in the Penn State community. His old-school work ethic and folksy charm transformed the university to a national power in athletics and education.
Late last year we learned that Paterno was hiding a terrible secret. The man who was once his top assistant, Jerry Sandusky, was molesting young boys for years under Paterno's nose.
We know Sandusky molested boys in the locker room. We know there was a 1998 police investigation into the matter, but no charges were ever filed. We know Paterno was told about a sexual encounter between Sandusky and a young boy in 2002. We know Paterno reported the incident to his supervisors but never followed up on the matter.
We don't know, and we will never know, exactly what Paterno knew, thought or suspected about Jerry Sandusky.
But even our most conservative assumptions lead us to believe that Paterno fell far short of the moral standards he helped set is in his 50 years at Penn State.
By all accounts he was a kind, charitable, good and decent man. He lived his whole life with dignity. But because of what he failed to do in this case, he dies in shame."

Conference Championships are Poop

2012-01-23T13:23:00.000-05:00

It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good
The Helmet Catch. The Tuck Rule. The Hail Mary last week. Now the Miss and the Fumble. The Giants and Patriots have gotten this far because they have a lot of good players and they are playing well. But over the years these two teams have also gotten incredibly lucky. At least the Patriots have had exceptional records and home games in the years they’ve made the playoffs. This is the second straight Super Bowl run by the Giants during a season in which they lost at least 6 games and then got hot (lucky!) during the playoffs.

Defense Wins Championships, Turnovers Lose Games
I still stand by the premise that good defense is required to win during the playoffs. Though both winning teams are better on offense than their vanquished foes, both sides played strong defense, especially when it mattered. Vince Wilfork was an absolute beast for the Patriots in the middle, with a sack and 3 tackles for loss. And the Giants stoned the 49ers on 3 crucial late game possessions each of which could have resulted in a game-winning field goal.

Patriots Killer, Literally
If there is one name that strikes fear in the hearts of the New England Patriots it is Bernard Pollard. Pollard, then on the Kanas City Chiefs, is the guy whose hit tore Tom Brady’s ACL on the first play of the 2008 season. A year later while playing for the Texans, Pollard dragged down Wes Welker, injuring his knee. Now on the Baltimore Ravens, Pollard tackled Rob Gronkowski and rolled over his ankle. Gronk was able to return, though he didn’t catch any passes after the injury, and he is expected to play in the Super Bowl.
But maybe the biggest atrocity committed by Pollard is his famous locker room dance from Hard Knocks.

I Want Winners
In 2008 Vernon Davis caught a short pass and then slapped the defender, Rhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifeissberg’s roommate Brian Russell in the facemask. For that he was given a 15-yard penalty. When Coach Mike Singletary yelled at him on the sidelines, Davis’s reaction was “nonchalant.” That led Singletary to banish him to the locker room and unleash this postgame tirade.

Four years later we’ve heard tons of stories about how Singletary’s tough love actually helped Davis, grow and mature into a great teammate, to match his substantial physical abilities. Evidently that didn’t happen. First, Davis got a 15-yard penalty for excessive celebration for climbing up on the TV camera stand after a touchdown. And later he got 15 more yards for hitting someone from behind and shoving someone during a scuffle.

I am always saying that I would rather have talented individuals with bad attitudes as opposed to tightasses who lack skill. But at a certain point, a player like Davis has to learn to control himself or he really does become a detriment to his team.

A Year Too Late
Eli Manning threw for 4,933 yards this season. If he had done that last year, it would have been 3rd all-time. Instead he was 4th. This season! Regardless of how this turns out Eli has established himself as an elite quarterback this season. And it goes beyond numbers. He is a guy you want to have the ball in the 4th quarter with the game on the line, maybe more so than his brother. He will never pass Peyton in terms of statistical excellence. But he can play Joe Montana to Manning’s Marino if he gets another Super Bowl ring.

Picture of the Week
I like the composition of this photo. A wide shot, ball floating in air, right between two defenders. The lighting is perfect too.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England Patriots 34 New York Giants 27
How long can the Giants keep getting this lucky? Yes, I know they are playing well, but they've now won 5 elimination games in a row. Eventually something has to go against them. Plus the Patriots are a very strong team whose defense is peaking at the right time. I understand the Giants and Eli Manning are worlds ahead of Flacco and the Ravens and especially Tebow and the Broncos. But the luck stops here. Patriots get revenge and win Super Bowl XLVI.

Weekly Picks

2012-01-22T00:31:00.002-05:00

This season has been so bad I don't even want to continue making these picks. I just can't seem to get a game right.
This week I am picking both games as one. I am going to go with defense over offense. I started the playoffs by thinking the Ravens could upset the Patriots. And now I am sticking with that. And even though the Giants are playing great and calling to mind the 2008 playoffs, I am sticking with the better defensive teams to pull through on Championship Sunday. Even in the Year of the Quarterback, defense wins championships.

baltimore +7 NEW ENGLAND

BEST BET
SAN FRANCISCO -1 1/2 new york giants

Last Week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 40-53 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (7-12)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (17-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-16)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (12-14)

Troy-Zan King of the Jungle

2012-01-21T18:16:00.003-05:00

I've often wondered if I could be on a reality show. I like contests, games and testing myself. I can't do American Idol because I can't sing. I wouldn't survive Big Brother sequestered from my family for 3 months. But other than the hunger, I think I could do well on Survivor. But what kind of video would I make as an audition tape? What do the people who actually get selected submit?

Here's Troy Robertson's video, which got him selected, with a little help from his friends.

A Sports Illustrated Swimsuit photographer using swimsuit models in his video. Not sure I can compete with that. Oh yeah, and there's a good chance he's gay too.

Who's Your Daddy, Khloe?

2012-01-19T19:17:00.000-05:00

Many years ago, The Concierge and I were in a supermarket looking through the tabloids. We delighted in laughter at the headline "Armless Man and Legless Buddy Go Tandem on Bike Trip." And it was accompanied by a picture.
It was my favorite supermarket tabloid headline, until now.

OJ Simpson is Khloe Kardashian's real father! That is awesome.

Thank You Web MD

2012-01-18T15:36:00.004-05:00

There are a bunch of crazy people in the world who whenever they feel a tickle in their throats or a pain in their belly, immediately run to the internet, hit up WebMD and diagnose themselves with a serious illness. (It's never lupus)
I am not one of those people. Mrs. Poop is. When I came home from work Tuesday experiencing severe stomach pains, I thought maybe the macaroni and cheese I had eaten for lunch was responsible (Mrs. Poop made it a week earlier). But I wasn't puking up my guts or shitting out my brains, so food-related illness didn't fit.
Mrs. Poop came home and did some rudimentary tests, including jabbing her fingers into my side and watching delightedly as I recoiled in pain.
She encouraged me to go to the ER, insisting if it ruptured I COULD DIE!!!!!

Note: I write that in all caps because she said it in all caps.

I took another hour to reconsider whether it would be just bad gas, or something not serious that would eventually subside. After about 5 hours of intense pain I read the WebMD entry on appendicitis.

You have pain in your belly. Check
The pain may begin around your belly button. Check
The pain in your belly gets stronger and moves below your belly button on your right side. Check
The pain does not go away and gets worse when you move, walk, or cough. Check

The actual ER visit, which I dreaded, was not that bad. I was seen and evaluated very quickly and the nurse practitioner immediately decided I needed a CAT scan, though she wasn't convinced I needed an appendectomy. I quickly drank the liquid contrast (the thing everyone complains about) with no problem and was carted outside to a temporary trailer where they do the CAT scans while the hospital is under construction.

It was quite weird going into this huge tunnel up to your chin, then having to hold your breath. Then they added another contrast through an IV which makes you taste metal and feel like you pissed yourself.

When the results came in it was determined that I did have an infection, and the beginnings of appendicitis. The NP said since I'm in America I would just have the surgery right away. I suppose if I were in a country with socialized medicine they would have sent me home with a couple of aspirin.

They rousted the doctor who did Mrs. Poop's gall bladder last year out of a deep slumber and he agreed to come in and take out my appendix.

Meanwhile, this whole time I refused pain medication. Mrs. Poop was furious. She is a drug-seeker evidently. I was not in terrible pain, I was uncomfortable but I would rather deal with that than get some crazy drug that makes me forget who I am and what I'm doing in the hospital.

The doctor arrived quickly. I was prepped for surgery and the anesthesiologist knocked me out good, because I remember telling the guy who looked like Rob Reiner to call me Paul. Then I remember waking up in recovery.

The procedure went well, the appendix was removed, and I was 4 to 6 ounces closer to my weight-loss goal.

But I was starving. Remember, I had been in intense pain since 2pm, and Mrs. Poop warned me that I shouldn't eat, in case I did need emergency surgery, if I had been food free for 6 hours they could operate immediately. But now it was 5:30 am, 15 1/2 hours since my last meal, 14 1/2 hours longer than I normally go between meals, and I was asking everyone I saw to bring me something to eat. The nurses kept apologizing that all they could offer me was jello. I was like, bring it on, I love jello. I had two cups of jello, orange and red and I eventually did get a real breakfast as well, but it included a banana which made me lose my appetite.

Mrs. Poop was due to come get me at around 10am, so the whole thing from walk-in, to walk-out was only 13 hours. But it was 6am and I still had time to kill. They had pumped me so full of fluids so that even though I hadn't had a drink and my mouth was parched, I was still waking up every two hours to pee. With the help of a nurse.

In order to get to the bathroom I had to sidle (I was wearing a hospital gown, open in the back, with no drawers on) past my very angry roommate. Apparently he had some kind of open wound. They covered it up with a dry dressing, then put a wet towel over to try to draw out the infection. Well, he insisted the wet towel was introducing bacteria to the area and that he was sure to get gangrene. He must have read this on WebMD with the rest of the crazies because the nurses (and he asked at least 3 of them) all told him it was doctor's orders which they could not disobey. Later his wackjob brother came in and insisted the valets had rifled through his car the day before. After visiting for a few minutes he left to file a complaint with hospital administration.

Thankfully Mrs. Poop came shortly thereafter and brought me home. About 24 hours after the surgery I feel great. A little discomfort in the area where they poked holes the insert the instruments and remove the appendix but nothing else. I ate a pretty normal diet today and felt fine.

So while having surgery is not great and being laid up for a few days could be a problem for a lesser man, I'm glad I went to the hospital when I did. Thanks WebMD.

Song of the Week

2012-01-18T05:52:00.000-05:00

"Red Solo Cup" - Toby Keith
It sounds like it was written by an 8th grader. At least the chorus does. Some of the other lyrics are kind of clever, though the music again is remedial. But it is kind of fun.
It actually sounds like it belongs on one of those Adam Sandler CDs from the 90s.

Crude Sexual Jokes for $800 Please Alex

2012-01-17T11:16:00.004-05:00

A Jeopardy! contestant gives an hilarious -- but wrong -- answer.

Did you hear Alex Trebek snicker when they guy said Donkey Punch? I believe Trebek has tried that move a time or two.

Story suggested by Gnitsark

The NFL is Poop - Divisional Playoffs

2012-01-16T13:46:00.002-05:00

Fantastic Finish
The Saints=49ers game, marred early by too many turnovers, turned in one of the great finishes in football history. In the final 4 minutes there were 4 touchdowns, each one resulting in a lead change. And these weren't just average touchdowns, great plays were made by Jimmy Graham, Darren Sproles, Drew Brees and especially Alex Smith. He was given no chance to match wits with Brees in the game but when the game was on the line he was awesome. I just couldn't believe the way these teams were marching up and down the field on each other so quickly. And they were being so aggressive in going for it. I thought for sure the 49ers would play it safe and kick a game-tying field goal to force overtime, instead Smith hit Vernon Davis for game-winner.

49ers History
When Vernon Davis caught that game-winning touchdown pass and broke into tears, it immediately reminded many people of a similar catch-and-cry by Terrell Owens for the 49ers to beat the Packers. It was actually the 5th last-minute touchdown catch in a playoff game for the 49ers. You may remember the other 4. There was Owens, of course, Dwight Clark making "The Catch," John Taylor winning the Super Bowl against the Bengals and the last one is a little different. It was Tai Streets from Jeff Garcia in a game that was known for something else. It was the one where the Giants had a 38-14 lead, blew it and had one last field goal attempt, trailing 39-38, and botched the snap.

Order Has Been Restored
The playoffs will proceed without Tim Tebow. The most amazing and polarizing story to hit the NFL in a long time is over, for now. I love Tim Tebow the person, and you could see that he was still trying his hardest when the Broncos were losing by 35. The rest of his teammates certainly were not. The defense, which many people said carried Tebow during the amazing winning-streak, absolutely gave up against the Patriots. They couldn't stop anyone, so they stopped trying. Von Miller seemed like he wanted to get ejected, delivering a cheap shot that started a scuffle. And the offensive line was quite offensive. Tebow was running for his life. The Patriots don't even have a good defense and they collapsed the pocket on every single play. Now Tebow has the entire offseason to work on some things to improve his game. And the Broncos front office should use that same time to find a few players with the heart and desire of Tebow.

They Might Be Giants
You can't pull off a major upset without a little bit of luck. Eli Manning's Hail Mary to Hakeem Nicks at the end of the first half really changed the tone for the rest of the game, and it certainly reminded many David Tyree Helmet Catch. But the Giants didn't win on luck alone. Eli Manning played another great game, sealing his place among the Elite quarterbacks in the NFL. He actually outshone Aaron Rodgers, though Rodgers was hamstrung by butter-fingered receivers who dropped balls, and fumbled them.

Heavy Heart
Prior to the game, Giants defensive back Derrick Martin, who spent two years with the Packers, consoled Green Bay offensive coordinator, Joe Philbin. Last week, Philbin's 21-year-old son, Michael was reported missing. His body was discovered in a river near the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. The funeral was Thursday and Philbin was back at work on Saturday getting the Packers ready for the Giants.

Picture of the Week
Those Packers fans really love their crazy hats.

If The Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England Patriots 20 New York Giants 17
At this point no one should count out the Giants (though they are not a certainty to beat the 49ers) but I just feel like the Patriots are too good right now. And they won't get caught off-guard this time by an upstart like the Giants.

You Knew This Was Coming

2012-01-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

Jenna Dewan-Tatum shows off her Golden Globes at the Golden Globes.

I know no one has ever heard of her, and this picture is not great, but these were the best breasts I could find, because I'm not willing to use Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara every year.

Expect the Tebowing Trend to Die Down Now

2012-01-15T10:29:00.003-05:00

Maybe now that the Broncos have been eliminated from the playoffs, in embarrassing fashion, the trend of people photographing themselves Tebowing will die down. But I couldn't let that happen without showing you this image of porn star Samantha Saint striking a pose.

And I also think this weird sect of Tebowmania is also deserving of attention.

Weekly Picks

2012-01-14T01:47:00.001-05:00

new orleans -3 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
New Orleans cannot be stopped right now. Usually a good offense beats good defense but San Francisco won't be able to completely shut down the Saints, and they won't be able to score enough to keep up.

denver +13 1/2 NEW ENGLAND
I keep getting Tebow games wrong, I know it. I just think that maybe his confidence is back. If the Broncos can start by running the ball the way they did against New England last time, and then mix in a few long passes like they did last week, then they can keep it close. Remember, it was 3 fumbles that cost them last time the faced the Pats.

new york giants +7 1/2 GREEN BAY PACKERS
I learned my lesson about picking against the Giants last week. They really do have something going. I honestly don't know why they weren't a better regular season team. They have a good mutli-faceted offense, and a solid defensive line. If they can put pressure on Rodgers, they can keep this close.

BEST BET
BALTIMORE -7 1/2 houston
The Texans luck runs out. You can beat the Bengals with a third-string quarterback, but not the Ravens. I really think the Ravens are built for the playoffs with a good running game and a good defense. Their problem in the regular season was lpaying down to the level of the competition. They won't experience those lulls in the postseason.

Last Week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 39-50 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (7-11)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (17-19)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-15)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (11-13)

God Has a Tim Tebow Complex

2012-01-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

People who believe in Tim Tebow say they have witnessed his miracles. They saw the last 5 minutes against the Dolphins. They cheered when he beat the Bears. They exalted when he threw an 80-yard touchdown pass in overtime to beat the Steelers in the playoffs.

People who don't believe in Tim Tebow say he is getting lucky. They say the Dolphins stink, the Bears were in prevent defense and the Steelers blew the coverage. They see the evidence, the passes that bounce, the 40-percent completion rate, and they know, Tim Tebow stinks.

The believers have faith.

The non-believers need to see proof.

Does any of this sound familiar?

So it has become in this NFL season that Tim Tebow has become an Iervese-like Christ-figure and has gained that status not in spite of, but because of all those who don't believe in him.

Here's where I stand on Tebow: I am not changing my initial view that he will never be a good NFL quarterback because he can't throw. We have seen him go through a stretch where he was reluctant to "pull the trigger" (John Elway's words), but when he plays with confidence, he can get the ball there on time, at least often enough to keep defenses honest.

Tim Tebow's Fire

2012-01-12T13:33:00.000-05:00

John Parr, who wrote the song "St. Elmo's Fire" for the movie of the same name, has released a new version of his 80s hit, called "Tim Tebow's Fire." At first I liked it, and thought it was a cute song they would play on Denver-area radio stations. But then I listened to it. He basically changed two words and re-recorded it just to capitalize financially on Tebow's success. You want to make money asshole, write a new song, a good one. Now I hate this song. And yes, this transformation of opinion took all of about 6 hours.

Song of the Week

2012-01-11T02:03:00.000-05:00

"Glory" - Jay-Z featuring Blue Ivy Carter
This is Jay-Z's song to his new daughter. They actually sampled some of her cries at the end it sounds like. It's actually pretty good with some nice sentimental lines about fatherhood, and about a previous miscarried pregnancy.

The NFL is Poop - Wild Card Round

2012-01-09T06:06:00.005-05:00

Do You Believe in Miracles?
Tim Tebow did it again. One of the most exciting playoff games I've ever seen ends with Tim Tebow throwing an 80-yard touchdown pass. He made the best play of his career in overtime of a playoff game. He played the best game of his pro career in the playoffs. I have frequently said that Tebow possesses every quality a quarterback needs to be successful, except he can't throw. And that's what he showed here, the ability to perform your best when things are at their worst, when the game is on the line, that's a very valuable trait in a quarterback.

So How'd It Happen?
Just like Moses parting the Red Sea wasn't really a miracle, neither was this victory by Tebow, each had a reasonable explanation. In this case, the Broncos executed their game plan to perfection and the Steelers fell into their trap. The Broncos wanted to run and hit a few big passes once they had softened up the defense. The Steelers should have taken a page from the Chiefs book. The Chiefs played man coverage on the Broncos wideouts, forcing the receivers to win in coverage or forcing Tebow to make great throws. The Steelers didn't execute this and several times, including the last play of the game where Demaryius Thomas caught the ball in stride and ran it down the field. Tebow also had a 51-yarder to Thomas, a 30-yard TD (both part of a 80-yard drive), another one to Thomas for 58 (setting up the second TD) and a 40 yarder to fells. All that adds up to a 31.6 yards per completion, on 10 completions. That equals 316 yards. Tebow 3:16 says he did it again.

The Falcons Dropped a Deuce
The Atlanta Falcons scored only two points against the New York Giants, make them the first team to ever drop a deuce, literally (many have done it figuratively) in the playoffs. A lot of people are blaming Mike Smith for his two failed attempts on 4th and 1. I actually liked both calls, going for the touchdown and not the field goal. If Smith gets the blame, it should be for the play-calling, which was unimaginative and telegraphed. If Matt Ryan gets the blame it's for turtling up instead of reaching forward with the football to get the first down.

Unstoppable
Right now the New Orleans Saints offense looks unstoppable. The Lions actually had them in check for the first half, until Drew Brees led them on 5 straight touchdown drives in the second. The Saints set a record for 626 yards, mostly because they kept throwing the ball at the end of the game when it was way out of reach. We all know the Lions secondary is one of the worst in the NFL so we'll see how they do against a better defense in the 49ers.

Worth the Wait
The Houston Texans waited a long time for their first playoff game. After several years of being touted as an upcoming contender, only to fall short because of the Colts, they finally got over the Indianapolis hump (with some help) and won the AFC South. Thanks to great performances from Arian Foster and JJ Watt, the Texans beat the Bengals in an entirely uninteresting game. I think they are but sacrificial lambs to the Ravens though.

Picture of the Week
Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw flex their muscles after combining for 155 rushing yards. Those two backs will be needed again this week if the Giants hope to slow down the Packers.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New Orleans Saints 45 New England Patriots 41
I know the Packers are 15-1 but I just can't ignore how perfect the Saints offense looks. I really hope both teams win this weekend so we can see that epic matchup in the Conference Championship.

A Piece of My Childhood -- Gone

2012-01-07T11:11:00.000-05:00

Golden's Deli, a staple for Staten Island Jews, has closed down.
Apparently the owners and the landlord couldn't agree on a lease arrangement. Golden's may reopen at some point in a new location.
But if not a lot of cool childhood memories will be gone:
I always loved the pickle bar
I liked sitting in the train/subway car, though it wasn't big enough to accommodate large parties
One time Mama Poop and Papa Poop played a trick on us, they told us we were going to dinner at Snedlog, and we had to figure out what it washttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
And of course, I will miss the mushroom barley soup, which came in third on my soup rankings

Story Suggested by BC

Weekly Picks

2012-01-06T23:04:00.000-05:00

Had a little bit of a bounceback last week but the season is still a disaster. 11 games left, best I can do is get them all right.

cincinnati +3 1/2 HOUSTON
This is a tough game to call, as evidenced by the 3 point spread, which basically means pick'em on a neutral field. I trust Andy Dalton a little bit more than an injured TJ Yates, especially because if something happens to Yates, Jake Delhomme comes in.

NEW ORLEANS -10 1/2 detroit
This spread is way too big and there is definitely a chance Detroit is down 17 and scores a junk touchdown at the end. But I love the way the Saints are playing right now. And last week's record-setting performance by Matt Flynn wasn't an aberration. It doesn't necessarily mean Flynn is so great, it means the Detroit secondary is terrible. Basically we know New Orleans will score 31 or more. And Detroit can put points on the board, so this game comes down to Stafford's turnovers. If he has 1 or 0, the Lions will cover, if he throws 2 or more picks, the Saints will.

atlanta +3 NEW YORK GIANTS
I like the Falcons offense, but they are going to have a tough time containing Eli Manning and Victor Cruz. Similar to the other game, it's basically an even match, so I will just take the points.

BEST BET
pittsburgh -8 DENVER
I haven't been able to get Tim Tebow right all year. But I have finally jumped off the bandwagon again. Pittsburgh may have a hard time scoring 8 points, but if they do, they could very well shut out Denver.

Last Week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 38-47 (36 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (7-10)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (16-19)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (11-14)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (11-11)

Success and Sacrifice

2012-01-06T07:30:00.002-05:00

On a recent episode of NFL Films Presents I caught up with some childhood heroes as the show visited a retreat sponsored by Coach Gibbs, gathering every player from the 4 Super Bowl teams he coached.
I was particularly moved by defensive end Charles Mann. He said when he wants to be reminded about his successes in life he looks at the ring finger on his right hand, where he wears his Super bowl ring.

When he wants to be reminded about the sacrifices needed to achieve that success he looks at the ring finger on his left hand.

What Do You Give Me For? Richard Cordray & Jack McBrayer

2012-01-05T11:30:00.000-05:00

What do you give me for Richard Cordray, the President's choice to head the CFPB and Jack McBrayer who plays the gay guy on "30 Rock?"

NFL Playoff Predictions

2012-01-04T05:41:00.000-05:00

Wild Card Playoffs
Atlanta Falcons over New York Giants
New Orleans Saints over Detroit Lions
Pittsburgh Steelers over Denver Broncos
Cincinnati Bengals over Houston Texans

Divisional Playoffs
Green Bay Packers over Atlanta Falcons
New Orleans Saints over San Francisco 49ers
New England Patriots over Cincinnati Bengals
Baltimore Ravens over Pittsburgh Steelers

Conference Championships
New Orleans Saints over Green Bay Packers
Baltimore Ravens over New England Patriots

Super Bowl
New Orleans Saints 31 Baltimore Ravens 16

Song of the Week

2012-01-04T00:07:00.000-05:00

"Love on Top" - Beyonce
I like to call her "Bee-Ontz." Funny mispronunciation of her name. Anyway, I don't usually dig Beyonce's music because she is so pop and the teenage girls love her. I did like her turn on "Party" with Andre3000 but since it's officially a Kanye West song I couldn't make it SOTW. I like the old school sound of this song, the simplistic video, the awesome dance moves, and the double-sided tape that provided a big assist in outfit #2.

The NFL is Poop - Week 17

2012-01-03T17:50:00.000-05:00

Passing Fancy
2011 was a great season for passing and so it's fitting it should end with the best passing game ever. Matthew Stafford throwing for 520 yards and Matt Flynn for 480. A perfect round, 1000, the most combined passing yards in one game in NFL history. I have no idea why the Packers were playing so hard in a game that didn't matter. Do they think Aaron Rodgers is their only important player? They are lucky no one got hurt.

Easy Breesy
Drew Brees just completed the pest season any quarterback has ever had (by the numbers). Brees set records for passing yards, pass completions and completion percentage, which taken in context is even more impressive. Obviously, comparing Brees's accomplishments to passers from other eras is not fair, but by any measure, it's an impressive season, which is why Brees is my MVP. I had Rodgers going into the final week. But then when I saw Matt Flynn put up Rodgers-esque numbers in Green Bay's offense I decided to go with Brees, even though it's very likely he's a "system QB" too.

It Takes Years to Become an Overnight Sensation
Victor Cruz was an undrafted free agent. He made the most of his chance catching 3 touchdowns in a preseason game last year. But he got injured early in the season and didn't catch a pass. This season Cruz emerged, catching 82 passes for 1536 yards. Included in that total, 5 touchdowns of more than 65 yards, second-most all-time.

Second-to-last Tebow Rant?
I was too late to get on the Tim Tebow bandwagon and now I'm too late getting off it. Looks like I was right all along. Tebow cannot throw. And all his other positive attributes don't make up for that giant failing. Teams adjusted to Denver's half-option running game and actually played more man coverage against him because he's not good enough to pick apart zones. For the second straight year (Seattle last year) a home team is a bigger than touchdown underdog in the first round of the playoffs. And I don't like the Broncos chances against the Steelers.

Picture of the Week
Somewhere Mike Curtis is smiling because Packers linebacker Brad Jones tackled a fan who ran onto the field.

Bad Joke of the Week, Maybe Year
Kyle Orton's pass was too high. It went somewhere over Dewayne Bowe.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
There is some hope for the future with some good young running backs (Helu and Royster), drug users (Fred Davis and Trent Williams) and great defensive lineman (Ryan Kerrigan and Brian Orakpo). But the back 7 of the defense is getting old (Hall, Wilson, Fletcher, Atogwe) and we still have no quarterback. And we're not getting Luck or Barkley so maybe we will rest the next three years of our franchise at the feet of Robert Griffin III.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 45 New England Patriots 41
These aren't my picks for the Super Bowl but these teams have surely done enough to warrant these spots for the final regular season Poop.

The Poop's New Year's Message

2012-01-03T13:03:00.002-05:00

I am going to try to be better in 2012.
I know you’re thinking “but Poop you’re fine just the way you are.” And yes, I am pretty awesome but even I can get better, and I plan to do so in the following ways:
Most importantly, I want to control my temper. I don’t get outrageously angry too often, but I shouldn’t do it ever. And I can definitely avoid getting frustrated for even a minute with Mrs. Poop or Mama Poop. I think I do a pretty good job with the kids of dispensing discipline without getting angry but I’ll try even harder this year.
I want to lose weight. I’ve had this desire for a couple years now and haven’t had the time or energy to really go after it. I’m around 204 pounds (I was as high as 212) and I hope to get down to 185 at some point. I’m going to eat healthier, especially at work, and once the weather gets nicer I’m going to go out for a run at least three times a week. And I have to drink more water.
I want to post more. I hope 2012 will be the first full year in the history of the Poop which has more posts than the year before it. 2011 sank to 343 posts, an average of less than one per day. It is hard for me to find time to work on these posts. And I do lack motivation because readership has fallen so much. I’d say only about 5 people read regularly, with another 5 checking in occasionally. But statistically it was another great year for the Poop, as Jerry Sandusky Jokes contributed about 12,000 hits, the most popular post ever. I will try to continue cranking out posts to appeal to my regular readers, and to attract Googlers.
I will be more positive. See how I didn’t say “I want to…” My life is too good to waste any time being angry or upset. Though those emotions often fuel the best posts. In those cases I will harness them for artistic purposes and let them go. I will avoid negative people this year, and continue to seek to surround myself with positive energy. Note: this will not apply to my feelings about my favorite sports teams.
Check out my New Year’s predictions for 2011. Some of them were spot-on (though Julian walking, Bones winning and Juice proposing were layups), some were way off (how did the Heat, Patriots and Phillies all lose in the playoffs?) and some were pretty close (just need unemployment to fall by 0.2% in Friday’s report).

Weekly Picks

2012-01-01T10:45:00.002-05:00

chicago +2 MINNESOTA
DENVER -3 kansas city
JACKSONVILLE -3 1/2 indianapolis
pittsburgh -7 CLEVELAND

BEST BET
baltimore -2 CINCINNATI

Last Week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 35-45 (31 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-10)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (15-18)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 0-2 (10-13)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (10-11)

Enough Already

2011-12-28T06:43:00.000-05:00

On December 18, 1997, a very funny episode of Seinfeld (aren't they all) aired. It was called "The Strike" and it introduced Frank Costanza's made-up holiday of Festivus.

On December 3, 2003, a very funny episode of The O.C. aired. It was called "Chrismukkah" and it introduced Seth Cohen's combined holiday of Chrismukkah.

It's been 14 years since Festivus, and 8 since Chrismukkah, yet I still see on Facebook and Twitter, people referring to these made-up holidays. I love the Festivus pole as much as the next guy, and I think Rachel Bilson looks hot, even in a Santa-cap/yarmulke hybrid but it's time we as a people moved on.

And until television writers can come up with the next fake holiday for us to worship, I think we should just stick to Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (dammit).

Song of the Week

2011-12-28T06:08:00.000-05:00

"Stan" - Eminem featuring Dido
Another good one from Eminem that shows his lyrical skills. I choose this one because Dido just had a baby. And she named him Stanley.

The NFL is Poop - Week 16

2011-12-27T12:48:00.000-05:00

What a Weird Week
Very strange to have a full slate of NFL games on Saturday and only one game on Sunday. I see the reason they wanted to avoid Christmas but it just didn't feel normal to me.

Is This the End?
Will 2011 be known as the season Tim Tebow had his incredible run and was never heard from again? Tebow is finally falling victim to the turnover problems he avoided during his winning streak and his team is not good enough to recover from it. The supposedly great Denver defense that covered for Tebow during the winning streak has been charged with 81 points in the last two games. Though Tebow gifted at least 14 of those to the Bills. I stand by my statement that he has every attribute (size, speed, intelligence, leadership, devotion, work ethic, personality) that you would want in a quarterback, he just can't throw. His winning streak was very impressive, it's just not sustainable.

Don't Sleep on the Saints
All season long we have been focused on the Packers but the Saints are rounding back into form. They are 12-3 and have won 6 in a row. And the best new, they haven't allowed more than 24 points in any of those 6 games. The Packers have a weakness on defense and the Saints could expose it. The biggest problem for the Saints could be that they would have to face the Packers in the NFC Championship, in Green Bay, at Lambeau Field, on the Frozen Tundra, in late January. Those factors could prevent another game like the 42-34 thriller that started this season.

Picture of the Week
Pierre Thoams pulled a gold bow out of his uniform and stuck it on the football after scoring a touchdown. He then gave the "Christmas present" to a fan in the front row. I can see giving him a 15-yard penalty to prevent the antics from getting out of hand as they did in the TO-Chad Johnson-Joe Horn days. But I don't think a fine is warranted. We'll see.

Playoff Scenarios
Right now it seems like 7 teams are still alive for 3 playoff spots.
The Cowboys and Giants play a playoff game on NBC Sunday night. NBC flexed this game away from Fox. So both matchups of these teams became Sunday Night affairs.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
What can I say? Another horrible loss in an already horrible season. Even Mike Shanahan says this rebuilding project is harder than he thought.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 35 New England Patriots 31
I still have a lot of confidence in Green Bay but I think New Orleans is going to be very tough. As for the Patriots, they are going to have a tough time with Baltimore or Pittsburgh. Not sure I would favor them to get through once the playoffs start.

Something Syracuse and Penn State Alumni Can Agree On

2011-12-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

I think the Syracuse alums, and especially the Penn State people are just sick of talking and thinking about these god damn child molesters who have embarrassed our Universities.

The War on Christmas

2011-12-24T01:34:00.000-05:00

There is a war going on outside, and none of us are safe. It’s the war on Christmas.
Here are the warring factions: On one side you have the people who don’t celebrate Christmas and are offended when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them. On the other side you have the people who do celebrate Christmas and get offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” to them.
Both sides are nuts. But they have gone so far that people in the middle are starting to get dragged into this and getting aggravated.

Acceptable: calling a school's concert the "Winter Show" or "Holiday Show."
Not acceptable: At the winter show, having the children perform a rousing rendition of "I'm dreaming of a white holiday."

Acceptable: a civic building having a display containing artifacts from several religions
Not acceptable: a civic building having a "holiday" tree

Here is what should happen: everyone should calm the fuck down. People should stop getting offended so easily. If you go to a store and the person at the door says "happy holidays" you should reply "Merry Christmas" if you are so inclined. If you are a Jewish/atheist/Muslim and someone says "Merry Christmas", smile and reply "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" or "Joyous Kwanzaa" if you feel snarky.
If your child's school or town's municipal building has a display that only includes Christmas, kindly suggest a menorah be added.

This is a joyous time of year and we shouldn't ruin it by complaining that our particular religion doesn't get the attention it deserves.

Weekly Picks

2011-12-23T21:57:00.003-05:00

I don't even know what to say anymore.

houston -6 INDIANAPOLIS
Didn't think a team that lost 13 straight would win two in a row. I already got this one wrong. By the way, it's the first time a 1-win team beat a team with 10 wins. I thought TJ Yates was good.

NEW ENGLAND -9 1/2 miami
Brady had the offense going against the Broncos. If they can score in the 30s the Dolphins won't be able to keep up.

cleveland +12 1/2 BALTIMORE
The Ravens got smoked by San Diego. For some reason I like the Browns to keep this close even though Baltimore needs this game for seeding.

tampa bay +7 1/2 CAROLINA
The Panthers shouldn't be giving more than a touchdown to anyone.

BEST BET
denver -2 1/2 BUFFALO
Denver will win by a field goal. Glad this spread moved half a point so I could take it without risking a push.

Last Week: 2-3 (1 point1)
Season: 34-41 (10 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-9)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (15-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (10-11)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (9-10)

The NFL is Poop - Week 15

2011-12-21T13:42:00.000-05:00

Wonders Never Cease
So the amazing Tim Tebow 6-game winning streak is over. But I'm actually more impressed with the Broncos offense now than I was before. They totally dominated the Patriots on their first two drives. Problem was, the defense, which had supposedly been carrying them, couldn't stop the Patriots at all. And when Denver fumbled 3 times (something that hadn't done) the game was pretty much over. But I fully expect Denver to win at Buffalo and against the Chiefs, bringing them to 10-6 and winning the West. That would likely put them in a first round matchup against the Ravens or Steelers. A game they can win if they run the ball, kill the clock and avoid turnovers.

They Must Have Hated Todd Haley
The Chiefs ended the Packers run at a perfect season with a 19-14 victory. The timing was particularly bad for former coach Todd Haley because it came a week after he got fired. After a 3-game losing streak (outscored 109-27) to start the season, and another 4-gamer in the middle (outscored 95-25) the Chiefs actually have a chance to make the playoffs if they can win their final two games (Oakland, at Denver) and get some help.
But I wouldn't worry about the Packers. Every team has a bad game, even Aaron Rodgers is off sometimes. They are still nearly guaranteed the 1-seed in the playoffs and a very likely return trip to the Super Bowl.

There's Goes Peyton Manning's MVP Trophy
There was lots of talk -- none of it to be taken seriously -- that Peyton Manning should win the MVP Award because the Colts were so good with him and so horrible without him. Maybe that will die down now that the great Dan Orlovsky led the Colts to their first win of the season.

Every Underdog Has Its Day
The Chiefs, Colts, Redskins and Panthers all won on Sunday, and all of them were underdogs by at least 6 points. It just goes to prove what I always say, underdogs that cover win 75% of the time. It's a crazy mixed-up world when shit like this happens, but it's why they say "on any given Sunday."

And He Won a Super Bowl
Drew Brees needs only 304 yards total in his last two games to break Dan Marino's record for most passing yards in a season. In the 12 seasons since Marino retired he's been passed for most of his significant records, this one will be his last. And an even bigger insult to Marino, Brees has a Super Bowl ring.

Brief Rant About the Redskins
If the Redskins had to go 2-14 in a season I'd be ok with it, if both wins were against the Giants. So I guess I have to be happy with this. It does feel good to really hurt the Giants playoff chances, unfortunately the Cowboys stand to benefit. This game once again shows what I've been saying about the Redskins, you need to force turnovers to win.

Picture of the Week
Gruesome injury for Bears WR Johnny Knox. You can see him get bent backwards. Knox suffered a cracked facet joint, one of the components that keeps the spinal column stable. He needed back surgery but he could be ready to return to football next season.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 70 New England Patriots 63
If these two teams match up they could easily set the record for most points in a Super Bowl, 69. The Packers may break the record on their own.

Song of the Week

2011-12-21T01:15:00.000-05:00

"Christmas Rappin" - Kurtis Blow
Merry Christmas to all, from Kurtis Blow.

Getting Carted Off

2011-12-19T11:15:00.003-05:00

Several people injured when a cart (the kind that normally takes injured players to the locker room) went out of control, despite no driver being aboard. You gotta keep your eye on the guy in blue who got run over but held onto the wheel and was steering it while it was careening recklessly. Good job by the guy who finally jumped on and was able to stop it.

Weekly Picks

2011-12-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

This is the worst year I've had in several years. Missing tons of best bets which is just inexcusable. And worse yet, I started 5-3 and on best bets and missed 5 of last 6. I just knew Denver would push last week. Not sure why I did that, though I got all the other games wrong too so it wouldn't have mattered.

SAN FRANCISCO -3 pittsburgh
I think the 49ers will bounce back after a tough loss to Arizona.

new orleans -7 MINNESOTA
The Saints are starting to play better, and the Vikings are playing worse.

DENVER +7 1/2 new england
This is not just a Tebow pick, this is a pick against New England. They were terrible against the run last week against the Redskins. If the Broncos use the game plan they used against Kansas City (55 runs, 8 passes), they can move the ball, control the clock, keep Tom Brady off the field, and maybe even win the game.

ny jets +2 1/2 PHILADELPHIA
The Eagles won big last week but are not consistent enough to keep up that effort. The Jets need to keep winning.

BEST BET
baltimore -2 1/2 SAN DIEGO
I kept waiting for the Chargers to make their late-season charge. I don't think that's going to happen. The Ravens have been playing their best ball against their toughest opponents this season.

Last Week: 1-4 (2 points)
Season: 32-38 (30 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-8)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (14-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-2)
Road Favorites: 0-2 (9-10)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (9-9)

Song of the Week

2011-12-14T02:08:00.000-05:00

"Let Me Love You Down" - Ready for the World

The NFL is Poop - Week 14

2011-12-13T14:19:00.001-05:00

It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good
The Denver Broncos have won 6 straight games, 7 of 8 since making Tim Tebow the starter. How are they doing it? The easy answer is luck. But to be this lucky, this consistently, you'd have to call it divine intervention.
This latest victory would not have happened without a couple bouts of colossal stupidity. First, Marion Barber ran out of bounds, saving the Broncos 40 seconds. That allowed the Broncos to tie the game. Then he fumbled in overtime allowing the Broncos to win it.

But I place even more blame on Bears coach Lovie Smith. For 55 minutes the Bears used their stifling to completely shut down Tebow. At one point he was 3 for 16 passing. Then they went to prevent defense. As we all know, the prevent defense prevents you from winning. And that's exactly what happened.
And this may be where Tebow's good qualities actually contribute to him winning these games. We know he can't throw against normal defenses. But he never gets discouraged. He always keeps his confidence up, and when the game is on the line he feels like he can make the play to win it.

Kicker's Paradise
Denver kicker Matt Prater was the hero of Sunday's game but he got some help from Denver's altitude. He kicked 59 and 51 yarders, and the Bears kicker, Robbie Gould nailed one from 57. Since 1960 18 field goals of longer than 55 yards were made in Denver. The next highest total over that span is Detroit, with 7.

Ain't That a Kick in the Head
For the second straight week Cowboys kicker Dan Bailey missed a key late game field goal. Last week he was iced by his own coach, this time Bailey made the first kick -- which was nullified by Tom Coughlin's timeout -- but the second one was blocked by Jason Pierre-Paul. Might be time for Bailey to visit a sports psychologist.

Cardiac Sunday
A record 5 teams bounced back from deficits of at least 12 points to win no Sunday. The Giants trailed the Cowboys 34-22 and won 37-34. The Texans were down by 13 before TJ Yates rallied his team for a 20-19 victory. The Falcons were down 16, but scored 24 points in a row to beat Carolina 31-23. Arizona was losing 19-7 to the 49ers, but earned a 21-19 win. And Jacksonville scored 41 points in a row after the ExpensiveCornPrices jumped out to a 14-0 lead. And that doesn't even count the Broncos overcoming a 10-point deficit.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
I can't even get fired up about these rants anymore. The Redskins lost a game I knew they were going to lose, but actually had a chance to win. The reason, Rex Grossman. His early fumble gave the Patriots a touchdown, and his late interception (not totally his fault) cost us a chance to tie the game. I would go a little easier on him if he hadn't been completely bailed out earlier in the game. He floated a pass into a wide open space and got picked off. But the play was nullified by a bullshit penalty and the Redskins eventually scored on that drive.

Picture of the Week
Redskins owner Daniel Snyder desperately wanted to bring the Army-Navy game to FedEx Field. But I guess they didn't have time to repaint the end zones. They still said Army and Navy. I also like this overhead shot and how it allows you to see the coverage.

If The Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 35 Pittsburgh Steelers 20
The Packers are just awesome. And Aaron Rodgers is good enough to overcome any deficiencies they may have. But I still do not think they will go undefeated. I don't think they even try. I say Aaron Rodgers plays only the first quarter of Week 17's game against the Lions and the Packers lose.

The Best Verses in Rap History

2011-12-13T11:10:00.000-05:00

I love "Headlines" by Drake so much that I not only made it song of the week, I also added its first verse to my list of top 5 verses in rap history. I picked these because they're fun to listen to, but also because they say something. Remember when rap actually used to have meaning? About a social condition, a rapper's life and not just how much money he has (or in most cases pretends to have).

I list them in no particular order:
Headlines - Drake

"I might be too strung out on compliments
Overdosed on confidence
Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence
Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments
Faded way too long I'm floating in and out of consciousness
And they sayin' I'm back, I'd agree with that
I just take my time with all this shit, I still believe in that
I had someone tell me I fell off, ooh I needed that
And they wanna see me pick back up, well where'd I leave it at
I know I exaggerated things, now I got it like that
Tuck my napkin in my shirt, cause I'm just mobbin' like that
You know good and well that you don't want a problem like that
You gon' make someone around me touch a body like that
No, don't do it, please don't do it,
Cause one of us goes in and we all go through it
Drizzy got the money, so Drizzy gonna pay it
Those my brothers, I ain't even gotta say it
That's just something they know"

It's a little superficial but not bad compared to most of what's out there today. He explains how the haters motivate, that he still loves to rap and how he hasn't forgotten his old friends. I like the napkin in the shirt thing, if its a reference to how mobsters are always depicted in movies.

Spottieottiedopaliscious - Outkast

"When I first met my Spottieottiedopaliscious Angel
I can remember that damn thing like yesterday
The way she moved reminded me of a Brown Stallion horse with skates on
Smooth like a hot comb on nappy ass hair
I walked up on her & was almost paralyzed
Her neck was smelling sweeter
Than a plate of yams with extra syrup
Eyes beaming like four karats apiece just blindin' a nigga
Felt like I chiefed a whole O of that Presidential
My heart was beating so damn fast
Never knowing this moment
Would bring another life into this world
Funny how shit come together sometimes [ya dig]
One moment you frequent the booty clubs &
The next four years you & somebody's daughter raisin' y'all own young'n
Now that's a beautiful thang
That's if you're on top of your game
And man enough to handle real life situations [that is]
Can't gamble feeding baby on that dope money
Might not always be sufficient
But the United Parcel Service & the people at the Post Office
Didn't call you back because you had cloudy piss
So now you back in the trap just that, trapped
Go on and marinate on that for a minute"

This song might have the best music (yes, music, those are real trumpets) of any rap ever. But even if you divorce the lyrics from the melody this one still has a lot of meaning. It's the age old story of boy meets girl, which quickly accelerates into boy has a hard time leaving behind his old lifestyle to find a legitimate source of income for girl and their new baby.

It Was a Good Day - Ice Cube

"Left my homeez house paid
Picked up a girl been tryin to fuck since the twelfth grade
It's ironic, I had the blunt she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics
I felt on the big fat fanny
Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
And my dick runs deep, so deep, so deep
put her ass to sleep
Woke her up around one
she didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
Drove her to the pad and I'm coasting
Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
I was glad everything had worked out
Dropped her ass off, and then chirped out
Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashing those high beams
No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the Fatburger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read Ice Cube's a pimp
Drunk as hell but no throwing up
Half way home and my pager still blowing up
Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I got to say it was a good day."

Ok, so a little frivolous, no deep social issues explored, no dark inner feelings exposed. But it's got to be one of the most fun songs ever. And in defense of its meaningfulness, it does illustrate his dream. This could be a creative writing assignment "write about your perfect day." And the fact that he ends it with the classic "I didn't even have to use my AK" just clinches it for me.

Juicy - Notorious B.I.G.

"I made the change from a common thief
To up close and personal with Robin Leach
And I'm far from cheap I smoke stuff with my peeps all day
Spread love it's the Brooklyn way
The Moet and Alize keep me pissy
Girls used to diss me
Now they write letters cuz they miss me
I never thought it could happen
This rappin stuff
I was too used to packin Gats and stuff
Now honeys play me close like butta play toast
From the Mississippi down to the East Coast
Condos in Queens
Indo for weeks
Sold-out seats to hear Biggie Smalls speak
Living life without fear
Putting five carats in my baby girl's ear
Lunches, brunches, interviews by the pool
Considered a fool
Cuz I dropped out of high school
Stereotypes of a black male misunderstood
And it's still all good"

The gold standard of songs about coming from nothing and turning oneself into something. At the time Biggie was compelling because he was a former drug dealer who got "rescued" by rap. He was also a fat guy, who at this point was getting laid a lot. I could have easily chosen the next verse from this song, but the Robin Leach line really clinches this one for me. If this was the only thing you ever heard about Biggie you would have a pretty good understanding of his life story.

Til I Collapse - Eminem

"Music is like magic there’s a certain feeling you get when you're real
And you spit and people are feeling your shit.
This is your moment and every single minute you spend
Trying to hold onto it 'cause you may never get it again.
So while you’re in it try to get as much shit as you can
And when your run is over just admit when it's at its end.
Cause I'm at the end of my wits with half this shit that gets in.
I got a list here's the order of my list that it's in.
It goes, Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie,
Andre from OutKast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me.
But in this industry I'm the cause of a lot of envy,
So when I’m not put on this list the shit does not offend me.
That's why you see me walk around like nothing's bothering me.
Even though half you people got a fucking problem with me.
You hate it but you know respect you’ve got to give me
The press's wet dream like Bobby and Whitney. Nate hit me."

I think it might be a surprise to many of you to see Eminem on my list. But maybe this is why I am so hard on Eminem. Like the child who gets an A on one test and gets Cs the rest of the time, his parents know what he is capable of. Though I disagree with his list of greatest emcees (though not by all that much) it's the first part that gets me. It really makes you understand what he feels when he's on stage. Why he loves music so much. Probably a lot of people feel this way. When he's on stage performing, and people are cheering and screaming, he feels loved. He feels appreciated. He feels validated. All the things people want to feel on an everyday basis, he gets those feelings through his music and his performances. You can feel that from this song, which is why it's on my list.

Weekly Picks

2011-12-10T23:50:00.003-05:00

Exactly the opposite of the previous week. This time I only got one game right. But it was my best bet. Riding the Tebow train. Can't understand it but see no need to get off now.

CAROLINA +3 atlanta
Atlanta looked shitty last week against Houston. And I know I don't normally pay attention to that but they haven't impressed me all season. Carolina meanwhile, Cam Newton's amazing performances are starting to result in victories.

new england -8 WASHINGTON
I hate when I have to do this but the Redskins have no chance in hell of keeping this game close.

san francisco -4 ARIZONA
Have people not been paying attention to the 49ers? They are a damn good team. And the Cardinals stink, and they are coming off a lucky victory.

philadelphia +3 MIAMI
There's a big talent gap here I believe. The Eagles are just too good to finis 4-12. They got embarrassed last week and have a long week to recover.

BEST BET
DENVER -3 chicago
Very nervous about this because Tebow wins every game by 3 points but I am willing to roll the dice and hope maybe they win 21-17 or 17-13.

Last Week: 1-4 (2 points)
Season: 31-34 (30 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-7)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (14-16)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (9-8)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (8-9)

The Entitlement Culture

2011-12-08T14:18:00.000-05:00

There's lots of talk lately about "fair share" and the "1% vs. the 99%." Radio host Adam Carolla, known as a comedian, hits is right on the head in this 9-minute rant. It is a thing of beauty, and you should listen to the whole thing. But if you don't have that kind of patience skip forward to 5:55 into the video for the story about Mr. Jenkins. I'll offer my thoughts after you've watched it.

This nails it. Everything I have been saying for years. Giving people things they didn't earn teaches them that they don't have to work to get things. In the real world, you do. And I don't even think it's a stretch to go from "I play so I deserve a trophy" to "I live so I deserve a job."
Especially when everyone, including the President, is telling you that your failures are someone else's fault.
Yes, the system can be unfair. Yes, there are some people who have more through no accomplishment of their own, and some have nothing through no fault of their own. But in general, in our society, if we allow it to stay a meritocracy, everyone has the ability to build something for themselves. As long as we don't beat the personal responsibility and desire for achievement out of them.

Fiddling While the Trailer Burns

2011-12-07T13:42:00.001-05:00

Last year I wrote about a town in Tennessee where firefighters allowed a resident's home to burn down because he had not paid the $75 annual fire fee.
Some people will never learn. Another resident in the same county, Obion County, had her trailer burn down because she hadn't paid the mandatory fee to the fire department of neighboring South Fulton.
Let's recap: Obion is too small for its own fire department. Nearby South Fulton is willing to respond to fire calls there, if its residents pay a $75 fee each year.
Like it or not, you'd think Vicky Bell would have paid the fee after reading about Gene Crasnick. Crasnick's house burned down and the fire department didn't intervene because he hadn't paid the fee.
Now the same thing happened to Bell's trailer.

Here's the bottom line: when someone tells you "if you don't do this, this might happen" and you still don't do it, then you are accepting the consequences.
Especially, the second time around. Bell had warning. She chose to gamble that her trailer would never catch fire, she lost.
It's unfortunate (and again, if people were in danger the firefighters would have helped) but the system wouldn't work any other way.
You can't charge people after the fact because it would still probably not be enough to cover expenses from fighting the fire, because the fire department costs money just to operate, waiting for a fire.
And if you charged an exorbitant fee, these poor rubes wouldn't be able to pay it.

It comes back to the debate which is tearing apart our country right now: the responsibilities of the individual versus the responsibilities of the society to aid the individual.

We have become way to reliant on others and we need to restore personal responsibility.

Song of the Week

2011-12-07T12:18:00.000-05:00

"Headlines" - Drake
I initially summarily rejected Drake just because of his overwhelming popularity. But when you really listen to him (and you can't help it with him being on the radio every ten seconds) the kid can really rap. I like his flow on this one the best.

The NFL is Poop - Week 13

2011-12-06T14:37:00.001-05:00

The Best Ever?
Right now I think we are witnessing one of the greatest seasons a quarterback has ever had. I'm not going to sit here and compare stats between Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady in 2007. Because I've seen that done, and Brady wins. I know Brady was great that year, and others have been great, but here's what I think puts Rodgers over the top. Every pass is perfect. He had less than a minute to get the Packers 60-plus yards for a field goal attempt, and it wasn't even difficult. Every pass was exactly where it needed to be for it to be caught. No defense could have stopped those throws from being completed. The Giants knew what was coming and they couldn't stop it.

Good Friends Better Enemies
Two former Florida Gators teammates staged a great little back and forth -- but as always -- Tim Tebow won. Vikings wide receiver Percy Harvin played the best game of his NFL career. He scored on 52 and 48-yard passes, but each time he did Tim Tebow brought his team back. And maybe we are witnessing his evolution because Tebow didn't win this game with his legs (only 4 carries for 13 yards), the defense didn't play great (scored one TD but allowed 32 points). Tebow threw some great passes including two to Demaryius Thomas. But even has he dropped one right into Thomas's arms it's still apparent that he can't throw a spiral. The pass was wobbling the whole time, but it got there. And as I am starting to believe with Tebow, it may not be pretty, but he gets the job done.

I Guess Everyone Has To Tweet Insults About Matt Forte
Chicago Bears running back Matt Forte was cruising along having a great season. He was a serious MVP candidate (well, not really because of Aaron Rodgers) but it all ended in one fell swoop. He will miss several games (but could come back for the season ends) with a Grade 2 sprain of his MCL. Exactly the same injury Jay Cutler had during last year's NFC Championship game when it seemed like the entire league (of players who weren't in the playoffs) questioned Cutler's heart, toughness and commitment to his team.

Ice the Kicker
Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett is under a lot of fire for icing his own kicker. Garrett called timeout just as Dan Bailey was lining up to kick a 49-yard game-winning field goal. Time was called as the ball sailed through the uprights. Bailey missed his second attempt and Garrett is being blamed. Garrett shouldn't be blamed for that. I have seen studies comparing kicks before and after timeouts. The results are inconclusive with a slight bias leaning towards showing icing kickers works. I believe Garrett cost his team the game, but not by icing the kicker. He lost the game by not calling timeout after two successive complete passes. That cost his team the chance to run another play and get even closer. That's why Garrett should be under fire, clearly tangible evidence that he didn't effectively use his timeouts to his advantage, not some conjecture about the kicker's psychology going into his second attempt at the field goal.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The Redskins stink. Through 12 weeks of this season I know that. What is so galling is that they can't score touchdowns in the red zone. Four more field goal attempts. And Rex Grossman always make a critical error at the wrong time. I am keeping the rant brief this week.

Picture of the Week
When the ExpensiveCornPrices go retro they go all the way. Even the cheerleaders are dressed in throwback unis.

Here's Winking At You Kid

2011-12-06T11:43:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's obvious, but I guess you have to learn how to wink. I wink at Julian and his efforts to imitate me are hilarious.

Never Leave Flour Laying Around

2011-12-05T13:35:00.000-05:00

Woman gets home from food shopping. Leaves the groceries where her two kids can get them and goes to the bathroom. She claims she was in there for just a few minutes. When she stepped out she saw this, went in the bathroom to avoid killing the little bastards, got the camera and tried to laugh it off.

Adios Jose

2011-12-05T12:14:00.004-05:00

Jose Reyes has officially left the New York Mets, signing a 6-year, $106 million contract with the Miami Marlins.
The Marlins have different motivations than the Mets. They are moving into a new ballpark and need to fill it with a star player to create excitement (though I think their flirtation with the Expensive Pooh Holes is just for show). And in truth, they have a better, younger core (Morrison, Stanton, Ramirez and Josh Johnson) than the Mets, making Reyes a more valuable addition for them.
The Mets were only willing to offer 5-years at $80 million, maybe $90m at the most. That wasn't going to be enough.
And as sad as I am to see him go, I think it is the right move for the Mets. This team is not ready to compete yet. And since his next two years are likely to be his best (of the 6 on the contract) it does little good to pay a player $18 million to be on a bad team. And by the time the Mets are ready to compete, Reyes, an oft-injured player whose game relies on speed, it's likely his performance will be in decline.
I will miss watching Reyes play. I always enjoyed his energy, his smile, his defense and especially his triples, but the time has come to move on.
Adios Jose.

Weekly Picks

2011-12-04T07:20:00.002-05:00

I finally got a little something going last week but missed my best bet. I am still .500 for the season. But that's not good enough. 55% overall is what you need, and for these purposes, you certainly can't be 42% on best bets.

atlanta -2 HOUSTON
Such a tough break for the Texans to lose not one but two quarterbacks. I know they will still play good defense and still run the ball, but I think the Falcons can pull this one off.

st. louis +13 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
This spread is a little too much for a team with a suspect offense. And perhaps the Rams can use some of the Ravens strategy for putting pressure on Alex Smith.

NEW ENGLAND -20 1/2 indianapolis
The last time we saw a spread this big it was the Patriots during their undefeated regular season of 2007. They were favored by 23 over the Eagles, and only won by 3. This time I see them scoring at least 38 points. Can the Colts score more than 17? I doubt it.

CHICAGO -7 kansas city
Hanie threw 3 interceptions last week. If he can cut that down to 1 or even zero I think the Bears can win big.

BEST BET
denver +1/2 MINNESOTA
If you can't beat em, join em.

Last Week: 4-1 (3 points)
Season: 30-30 (28 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-7)
Home Favorites: 2-1 (14-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (9-7)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (7-8)

The A-Rod of the NFL

2011-12-02T07:37:00.002-05:00

Five years ago I wrote about the problem with Alex Rodriguez. I gave A-Rod two pieces of advice:
"1) You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself
2) When you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one"

Seems like those lessons could apply to Donovan McNabb as well. In the last 2 years, McNabb has burned bridges with 3 NFL teams. The biggest reason of course is his poor play. But there's something about McNabb that is incredibly unlikeable: he is a phony. He tries to say what he thinks everyone wants to hear, and instead his act is very transparent, and even more annoying.

After he was cut loose by the Minnesota Vikings, he did a couple interviews, ESPN, NFL Network and seemed even more unlikeable. He refused to say he wanted to be released to go play somewhere else, instead saying he want to give Christian Ponder room to grow. Not wanting to seem selfish, he didn't say he requested his release to go play somewhere immediately, he said he wanted to "clear his head."

Some desperate team may make a bid for McNabb. But I have feeling they won't be happy with his play or his personality.

Still Feisty After All These Years

2011-12-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

Former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca recently settled a feud that started during the 1963 Grey Cup. Kapp tried to squash the beef by offering Mosca a flower.

An awesome move by the old codger using his cane to knock the glasses off Kapp's face. And that was when hell of a right hook by a 73 year old man.

Valentine's Day

2011-11-30T11:42:00.000-05:00

Bobby Valentine is the new manager of the Boston Red Sox. They brought in Bobby V to bring some decorum to the clubhouse after last season's embarrassing chicken and beer meltdown. I think they have the wrong guy.

Not just because his enduring legacy is his mustache gambit. But also because his philosophy, which includes an affection for the sacrifice bunt, doesn't mesh with the sabremetricians in the front office, who have proven the sacrifice bunt is an ineffective use of an out.

Song of the Week

2011-11-30T10:19:00.000-05:00

"Borderline" - Madonna
Some people think Lady Gaga is the natural evolution of Madonna. But I'll wait until she does something as good as this before I make that proclamation.

The NFL is Poop - Week 12

2011-11-29T13:41:00.000-05:00

I'm Never Picking Against Tim Tebow Again
Until the playoffs. This can't be a coincidence. The Denver Broncos are 5-1 with Tebow as the starter. He actually has gotten a lot better as a passer, a few of this throws in the win over San Diego were actually good throws. He still can't throw on the level of most NFL quarterbacks but for some reason the Broncos keep winning. I know it is the defense, but didn't they have the same defense when Kyle Orton was 1-4? Maybe he knows how to get the most out of his teammates. Maybe the increased reliance on the run slows down the game. Whatever it is, I am starting to believe it.

If You Want to Talk Trash, You Gotta Back It Up
Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson did an hilarious touchdown celebration, mock-shooting himself in the leg, a la Jets receiver Plaxico Burress.

Problem is, Johnson's antics resulted in a penalty, which helped set up a touchdown drive for the Jets. And even worse, Johnson dropped not one but two passes that could have helped the Bills score a game-winning TD late in the game. You may remember Johnson also dropped a very catchable ball against the Steelers last year.

SUH-spended
Speaking of selfish behavior costing your team, Ndamukong Suh. I am a huge Suh fan and I have been for three years now. And everyone who knows him says he really is a great guy on the field. So why does he keep acting like this? Does he lose control? Is he tried to intimidate people? His latest infraction, stomping on the chest of a prone Packers player, earned him a 2-game suspension, which will surely hurt his team. Suh has already been fined three times by the league office for aggressive play. He even met with Commissioner Goodell to discuss acceptable behavior. It's a shame to see such a great player behave so poorly.

Ain't That a Shame
Every year is supposed to be the year of the Texans. 2011 actually seemed to be going their way. Their nemesis the Colts are winless, and their defense is number one in the league. Add the great Arian Foster and the capable Matt Schaub to that and Houston seemed in position to make noise in the playoffs. Now Schaub, and his backup Matt Leinart are injured, and the season lies in the hands of TJ Yates. Even if the Texans hold on for the division title it'll be hard to win a playoff game with Yates at the helm.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The 6-game losing streak is over, and a win is certainly a lot better than a loss. But there is a lot to be discouraged about. Rex Grossman played another bad game, but managed to hit one big throw, to Anthony Armstrong for the game-winning score. Graham Gano missed two more kicks, but both were blocked so the line deserves blame too. Roy Helu, the lone bright spot this year, scored on a incredible TD run in which he hurdled one tackler, bounced off another and scored. One of the best TD runs I've ever seen.

Picture of the Week
Jimmy Graham of the New Orleans Saints dunks the ball over the goal post after a touchdown in the Saints 49-24 over the Giants. Graham is the latest basketball player to follow in the footsteps of Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates to become a great tight end.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 38 New England Patriots 21
The Packers don't necessarily look unbeatable. The Patriots offense seems to be back on course, but their defense is still suspect. How delicious would it be if the undefeated Packers met the Patriots in the Super Bowl?

In the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

2011-11-28T17:14:00.004-05:00

I was watching Mike Francesa on the YES Network this afternoon, something I never do, because of his extended and informative interview with Mike Waters of the Syracuse Post-Standard. During the course of the interview, YES showed a picture of Jim Boeheim and Bernie Fine on the bench during a game, obviously taken from the broadcast of a Syracuse game. I noticed, in between the heads of Boeheim and Fine, seated in the first row, my [nephew] Roach.

It saddens me to see the likeness of Roach sullied by this ugly incident. Forever tied to the likely pedophile and his possible enabler.

Jim Boeheim's Arrogance May Be His Undoing

2011-11-28T13:34:00.000-05:00

Syracuse's Jim Boeheim may be the secondary legendary coach in a month to lose his job over a sex scandal involving a trusted assistant.
The Bernie Fine mess has gotten more serious, and more weird, in the past 24 hours.
ESPN has released more information from Fine's accuser, Bobby Davis. This includes an audio tape of a conversation Davis had with Bernie Fine's wife, Laurie in October 2002. During the phone call, Laurie Fine seems to acknowledge her husband's molestation of Davis.
"I know everything that went on. I know everything that went on with him. Bernie has issues, maybe that he's not aware of, but he has issues," she says.
But that's not it. The latest twist in the story is that Davis claims he fucked Laurie Fine when he was 18, and even told Bernie about it.
Also, there is a new accuser, Zach Tomaselli, who says he was molested by Fine in a hotel room in Pittsburgh in 2002.
Tomaselli faces his own charge for alleged sexual assault against a young boy, and Tomaselli's own father says he is lying about Fine.
But that didn't stop the University from firing Bernie Fine.
In light of new evidence, the taped phone call is most damning, the school was right to get rid of Fine.
And Boeheim could be next. His aggressive comments about Davis -- he called him a liar and an extortionist -- are a real embarrassment now that it looks more likely he was defending a child molester.
A chastened Boeheim released a much more conciliatory statement saying "I deeply regret any statements I made that might have inhibited that from occurring or been insensitive to victims of abuse."

At this point I'm pretty sure Fine was molesting boys. And there's also a very good chance Boeheim knew about it, and his aggressive reaction was designed to discourage future complaints, and to make his denial seem more believable. This is absolutely terrible. If there is any shred of evidence to show Boeheim was a Paterno-esque enabler of a molester he should be fired immediately even if it torpedoes a very promising season.
And no student or alumnus should shed a tear, speak a word, stand on a lawn or tip a news truck in defense of him.
If this is true, Fine and Boeheim have sullied our University's reputation for years to come, and they should be the only targets of our anger.

Thankfully, it appears the University as a broader entity is doing -- and has done -- the right thing here. If that 2005 investigation was legitimate (Davis never handed over the tape of his call with Laurie Fine to the school), then this alleged problem may not turn out to be the kind of cancer that ate away at Penn State.

I Guess the Throwback Trend is Officially Over

2011-11-28T06:15:00.004-05:00

Throwback jerseys, once the hottest trend are clearly no longer a hot fashion item. Mitchell and Ness is having a huge sale -- all jerseys are only $100 -- even ones that regularly sell for $275 or $300.
I've gotten a little too old to keep buying and wearing jerseys but they're cool to have for going to games.
So I may add this Mookie Wilson 1986 Batting Practice jersey to my collection.

Home-Court Advantage

2011-11-27T11:04:00.000-05:00

Under the leadership of Dr. Darryl Gross Syracuse has billed itself as New York's College Team.
That certainly was accurate for the Season Tip Off NIT at Madison Square Garden this week. After a sparse crowd watched a mostly bumbling victory by Virginia Tech over Oklahoma State, the building came alive for the Orange as they took on Stanford.
But that decidedly partisan crowd was disappointed with how the Orange played for the first 30 minutes -- for the second game in a row.
But like the game against Va Tech the Orange turned it on and turned a 58-51 deficit into a 69-63 win.
The key play was a 3-pointer by Kris Joseph that started the run. K-Jo had made the Orange's last 3 baskets prior to that shot as well. When the game is on the line Joseph is emerging as the go-to guy who can get the ball and score, or create for others. All championship teams need a guy like that. And it's something Syracuse has lacked in the last two disappointing NCAA Tournament losses.

The other thing Syracuse has this year that has been absent in years past is depth. Though Jim Boeheim who loves burying players, especially young players, on the bench, is in the process of destroying that depth. Freshman Michael Carter-Williams only played 2 minutes in each of the two NIT games. And the more promising freshman, and the only capable big forward on the team, Rakeem Christmas, started both games, but played only 7 minutes total in the two games.
With James Southerland (my favorite player on this year's team) likely to wind up in Boeheim's doghouse again soon (for his indiscriminate shooting and indecisive defense) Boeheim will be back down to 7 players in his rotation soon.
Last year Boeheim stuck with Fab Melo (mostly because he had no choice) and it's paying off as Melo is playing much better this season, especially on defense in the middle of that zone. I don't want to jinx the young fella but right now I would have to say that Melo "shows promise."

Boeheim's biggest challenge this year will be managing his guards. He has the older, experienced players in Brandon Triche and Scoop Jardine. But I think we all agree that in most cases the two sophomores Dion Waiters and CJ Fair (Josh Pace with a jumpshot) are more reliable so far this season.
Three of those guys can play together if Boeheim wants to, and is able to go small. But at crunch time someone has to be the point guard, the orchestrator. Jardine, for all his play-making ability, really can't be trusted. So it will be interesting to see which of the other guys emerges.
Fair and Waiters each made big 3-point plays to key that run against Stanford. Those two guys are clearly the future of the program. How big a role they play in the present will determine if this season ends in a disappointing upset loss in the tournament the way so many Syracuse seasons have done.

Weekly Picks

2011-11-26T23:55:00.005-05:00

I am in a terrible slump. I actually was having a good season through 7 weeks. Now I have no idea how to pick a correct game. This week I am not overthinking things. Let's see if that works.

houston -6 JACKSONVILLE
After I put them in the Super Bowl we learned Matt Schaub was out for the season. I don't think Matt Leinart is good but they have the talent to severely limit what he has to do. Especially against Jacksonville.

carolina -3 INDIANAPOLIS
I honestly think the Colts will go 0-16.

OAKLAND -3 chicago
I think the Bears will still figure out how to play without Cutler, enough to get into the playoffs. But it may take a short adjustment period.

ATLANTA -9 1/2 minnesota
Not sure if I think this one could be a blowout. But I'm pretty sure the Falcons are going to win it so I will roll the dice on the point spread.

BEST BET
SAN DIEGO -6 1/2 denver
The Chargers late season charge starts right now. Plus Tim Tebow still sucks as a passer. I just can't see him keeping this going.

Last Week: 2-3 (0 points)
Season: 26-29 (25 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-6)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (12-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (7-7)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (7-8)

Song of the Week

2011-11-23T12:38:00.000-05:00

"Luv U Better" - LL Cool J
This song contains one of my favorite parts of any song ever.
"Do you think I meant to hurt you?
No
Do you think I meant to hurt you?
Noooooo-oh-oh-oh"

This Billboard Offends Me

2011-11-23T10:53:00.000-05:00

There's a new billboard on the West Side Highway that I find highly offensive.

It's an ad for a generically named vokda, Wodka. It shows two dogs, a chihuahua in a Santa hat and an Afghan in a yarmulke.

It says "Christmas Quality. Hanukkah Pricing."

That's an overt reference that Christmas is better than Hanukkah. But it's also a subtle reference that Jews are cheap.

I don't have a problem with any of that. What bothers me is the poor dogs dressed up.

The NFL is Poop - Week 11

2011-11-22T22:02:00.000-05:00

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Graham Gano fucking sucks. End of rant.

Now They Love Cutler
The last time Caleb Hanie had to enter a game for the Chicago Bears it was because Jay Cutler was hurt and the Bears were in the NFC Championship game. At that point Bears fans insisted Cutler wasn't really hurt, and they hated him and never wanted to see him quarterback their team again. My how things have changed. Cutler has been mostly brilliant this season and Bears fans love him. But now Caleb Hanie is back. Cutler broke the thumb on his throwing hand while making a tackle. Without him Bears fans say all hope is lost. I say not so fast. If Hanie can go 3-3 down the stretch they can get a wildcard and maybe Cutler can return in time to play the winner of the NFC East or South. If not, the Bears can always sign Kyle Orton who was released by the Broncos.

Break Up the Dolphins
I really don't understand this, but the previously miserable Dolphins are now on a 3-game winning streak. I really don't see how they're playing so much better, but Matt Moore has been more consistent.

The Best Slate of Thanksgiving Games in a Long Time
Everyone is looking forward to this week's match-up of the Packers and Lions. It will be the first time in a long time the Lions will be relevant on Thanksgiving. Maybe since Barry Sanders retired. Though they sucked many years with him too. The Packers are still perfect, and once you get to double digits it starts to become real.
But that's not the game I'm looking forward to most, too many points. I will be anxiously watching the brothers Harbaugh go at it in the Ravens-49ers game. I feel like a lot of people are still doubting the Niners because they play in a week division. But they can play some defense which will make their match-up against the hard-hitting Ravens a great game to watch.

Non-Believers
I guess I will have to write this every week. I still don't think Tim Tebow is a legitimate NFL quarterback. But with a 4-1 record as a starter I have to admit he certainly does have something special that he calls upon to make plays when the game is on the line.

Picture of the Week
Referee Ron Winter gets trapped at the bottom of the pile of players trying to recover a fumble in the Ravens-Bengals game.

But Seriously...
Graham Gano really does fuckin suck. He has missed 8 field goals so far this year. He is 30th of 32 kickers in percentage. And it's not just long kicks like the ones he missed against Dallas, he has 3 misses in 6 tries from 30 - 39 yards. He missed 2 field goals against Dallas this time, 1 field goal in a 2-point game against them last time. And two misses in an 11-point loss to Miami, which the Skins would have at least had a chance at if not for Gano. And lest you think this is an abberation, Gano missed 11 field goals last year. He hasn't been over 70% either of the last two years. 24 kickers are above 80 this year. He is clearly one of the worst 3 kickers in the game, why won't they cut him and try someone new?

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay 35 Houston 3
Why not the Texans? They have the same record as Baltimore, Pittsburgh and New England. Only difference, is they are hot, on a 4-game winning streak. They also have a pretty decent schedule with 1 game remaining against all the weak teams in their divisions. An AFC title game in Houston would be a big surprise.

David Nelson, Scoring On -- And Off -- The Field

2011-11-19T09:51:00.004-05:00

The sweetest moement of the NFL season so far came when Buffalo Bills wide receiver caught a touchdown pass against the Dallas Cowboys and ran around the field to give the ball to his girlfriend, Kelsi Reisch, a smoking hot Cowboys cheerleader.

Nelson is from Texas and has been dating Reisch for 4 years. There are rules against the fraternization of cheerleaders and players, but they don't seem to apply to different teams. Those rules are a complete joke anyway because no gold-digging hottie would be deterred from fucking a player by the threat of losing her $50 a game job.

We hope Kelsi and Nelson are very happy together.

A Fine Mess

2011-11-18T12:04:00.005-05:00

Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine is the latest coach to be accused of sexually molesting a child.
A former Syracuse ball boy named Bobby Davis, 39, has come forward and said Fine molested him hundreds of times between when he was 11 and 27.

Davis said he met Fine in 1983 when he was selling candy door-to-door in his neighborhood. Davis lived in a single-parent household. He says Fine took him under his wing, leading to him becoming a ball boy and traveling with the team, even to the 1987 Final Four.
Davis came forward with his claims to ESPN in 2003. They interviewed him but couldn't get anyone else to back up his story so they never aired the story. Davis also went to Syracuse Police who told him the statute of limitations had expired. He also went to Syracuse University. The University investigated for four months. They interviewed several people including four people Davis said would corroborate his story. None of them did so SU dropped the matter.
Now Davis's step-brother, Mike Lang, 45, is coming forward with similar allegations about Fine. And that is why ESPN is airing the story.
Lang says he was emboldened to come forward now because of the Penn State situation.
I guess those allegations make these a little easier to believe.
But that could cut both ways, they're more likely to be believed if they're telling the truth, but also if this were a plot, they'd be more likely to be believed in that case as well.
I'm not sure I believe them. I think it's very possible this happened, or something similar. But also relative to Penn State, there is a much greater chance this is completely false.
Jim Boeheim, whom Davis claims say him in Bernie Fine's hotel room, clearly does not believe these allegations:

"I know this kid, but I never saw him in any rooms or anything. It is a bunch of a thousand lies that he has told. You don't think it is a little funny that his cousin (relative) is coming forward? He supplied four names to the university that would corroborate his story. None of them did. There is only one side to this story. He is lying."

I understand why Boeheim is protecting his friend, but I think that tone is a little too harsh.
I think the University is doing a much better job. They took a serious look at this in 2005 and found nothing, and are taking a serious look again. Bernie Fine has been placed on administrative leave.
I hope this doesn't turn into another Penn State and ruin my alma mater too. But if it does I will advocate the same punishment: death to the perpetrator, prison for those who covered it up and a punch in the face for the students dumb enough to riot over it.

Weekly Picks

2011-11-17T17:19:00.003-05:00

Things have not been going well lately for your hero. Not only did I have a horrible week last week, most of my teams got blown out and weren't even close to covering the spreads. If not for Green Bay I would have suffered my first minus-1 in a very long time. Making my picks early this week to change my luck.

oakland -1 MINNESOTA
Possible Carson Palmer is back as a real quarterback? The Vikings don't need to be as bad as they were on Monday. All I need them to do is lose.

buffalo +2 MIAMI
What happened to the Bills? Could the Dolphins really win 3 in a row?

CHICAGO -3 1/2 san diego
The Chargers start their annual late season run next week. The Bears are looking good too. Almost like a real team.

kansas city +14 1/2 NEW ENGLAND
I'm just rolling the dice this one. I know Tyler Palko is starting, but I'm not all that worried about New England's defense. I think he can put enough points on the board (maybe 17 will be enough). The Chiefs defense isn't bad. As long as KC doesn't turn it over a bunch this game should be closer than 14.

BEST BET
new york jets -6 1/2 DENVER
The spread on this one has skyrocketed two points since I first decided to pick it. But I like the Jets coming off a rough loss and the Broncos off a big win. The Tebow thing has to end at some point, it's just not sustainable. And I think the Jets are just the defense to force him into doing things he doesn't want to do -- like throwing the ball.

Last week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 24-26 (24 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-5)
Home Favorites: 1-2 (11-13)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (6-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-6)

Paterno's House

2011-11-17T14:05:00.001-05:00

Joe Paterno transferred full ownership of his house to his wife sue for $1 back in July, four months before the Sandusky scandal broke.
I bring this up not because I think Paterno was trying to avoid the consequences of a civil suit against him -- that's too much of a stretch.
I'm sure this was just part of his estate planning for his impending death.
I'm more interested in the real aspect of it.
The Paternos bought the house for $58,000 in 1969. A pretty hefty sum in those days. The fair-market value of the house currently is $595,000. Which ihttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifs a very nice house, especially in State College. The average home value there is $202,000 according to the latest Coldwell Banker survey of home prices in college football towns.
It's actually kind of quaint that the Paternos never upgraded to a nicer house, even though they could have.

But here's what some experts the New York Times interviewed about the transaction said:

Lawrence A. Frolik, a law professor at the University of Pittsburgh who specializes in elder law, said that he had “never heard” of a husband selling his share of a house for $1 to his spouse for tax or government assistance purposes.

“I can’t see any tax advantages,” Frolik said. “If someone told me that, my reaction would be, ‘Are they hoping to shield assets in case if there’s personal liability?’ ” He added, “It sounds like an attempt to avoid personal liability in having assets in his wife’s name.”

Two lawyers examined the available documents in recent days. Neither wanted to be identified because they were not directly involved in the case or the property transaction. One of the experts said it appeared to be an explicit effort to financially shield Joe Paterno. The other regarded the July transaction, at least on its face, as benign.

So it remains to be seen how this house, the site of the disgusting riots by Penn State students, continues to play a role in this unseemly scandal.

Another Cool Tradition

2011-11-17T03:24:00.001-05:00

We know everyone loves the serial photographs tentatively titled "Looking out the Door in Maine" , but there is also another series of pictures we've been taking. Each year at Halloween at Demarest Farms in front of the "How Tall This Fall?" sign.

Song of the Week

2011-11-16T03:21:00.000-05:00

"All for You" - Sister Hazel
This one was huge sophomore year of college. I am old.

The NFL is Poop - Week 10

2011-11-15T12:52:00.000-05:00

Winning Isn't Everything, It's the Only Thing
How do you win a game when you have only two complete passes? Just ask the Denver Broncos. Tim Tebow went 2 for 8 for 69 yards and a touchdown. Amazingly that is a 102 passer rating. The Broncos ran a version of a college option and it worked. 55 runs, 8 pass attempts. And a win. In fact, the Broncos are 3-1 with Tebow as the starting quarterback. But I still insist this can't last forever. Teams will either figure out how to stop it or Tebow will get hurt. Or Tebow will get hurt because teams figure out how to stop it.

He Who Passes Most, Loses
Despite calls that the NFL is now a passing league, Tebow points out an interesting trend. In every single game this weekend, except one (Eagles-Cardinals), the team that had fewer pass attempts won the game.

Note: Patriots and Jets both attempted 39 passes.

There were a few big blowouts where passing teams like the Texans and Packers didn't need to attempt a lot of passes. But for the most part I think this is a trend every week. You have to pass to get ahead, but you have to run to stay ahead.

Onions!
For years I have been calling for coaches to be more aggressive on 4th and short situations but Atlanta's Mike Smith took it too far. For any gamble you need to evaluate the risk and the reward and the likelihood of each. With 4th and 1 at his own 29-yard line, Smith decided to go for it. He missed and the Saints won. The reason this was so bad is because the risk was so great (turn it over there and it's almost a guaranteed loss) and the reward so minimal (still a long way to go to win the game). Aggressive, but foolish gamble by Smith.

Is It Too Early?
The Green Bay Packers are almost halfway there, so it seems like a good time to review their chances for a perfect season. I definitely see the Packers rolling over the ExpensiveCornPrices this week, setting up a matchup against the Lions on Thanksgiving Day. If they get through that they have the Giants Raiders and Chiefs. If they get to 14-0, they will likely have clinched home field (unless Niners are 13-1). And that's where the problem starts. The last two games are home games, but they're against Chicago and Detroit. Two good teams, who will likely have a hell of a lot more to play for than Green Bay will. So enjoy the Thanksgiving Day game, but don't count on a perfect season.

Brief Rant About the Redskins
John Beck couldn't move the offense. Rex Grossman moves the offense, then turns it over. They are just atrocious right now, they cannot score touchdowns. Five field goal attempts. In the last 3 games, the Redskins have 1 touchdown, and it was in garbage time against San Fran. And rookie wide receiver Leonard Hankerson, the lone bright spot, had 106 yards, then got hurt and is out for the season. 3-13 is a definite possibility.

Picture of the Week
Another one of my favorite underrated players is Bengals defensive lineman Domata Peko. Here he is sacking Ben Roethlisberger. If not for Troy Polamalu, Peko would have the Head and Shoulders endorsement. Also, look at Ben Roethlisberger's left shoe. That detail takes a good picture and makes it awesome.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 45 Pittsburgh Steelers 7
I really can't figure out the AFC. There are no really good teams. I honestly feel like the Chargers have another late season run in them and by late Decemeber they could be in this space.

I'm a Douche

2011-11-14T12:42:00.001-05:00

I am addicted to my Blackberry and I can't possibly imagine going a day without. That's why I climbed to the top level of the parking garage to retrieve it when I left it in the car.
When I get in the elevator to leave each day I check to make sure I have it. The other day I checked 3 pockets (left pants, left jacket, inside jacket) and couldn't find it. So I stepped out of the elevator, right before the doors closed. Then I put my hand in my right jacket pocket and found my blackberry. So I stepped back on the elevator, right before the doors closed.
Maybe this isn't soooooo douchey but I haven't posted one of these in 3 years (it can't be for lack of doing douchey things, can it?) so I thought I was due.
Plus I'm pretty sure the guy who was in the elevator waiting to go downstairs thought it was pretty douchey.

The Best Penn State/Sandusky Jokes

2011-11-14T11:30:00.004-05:00

At Penn State you can now major in minors.

An older woman who goes after young men is a cougar. An older man who goes after young boys is a Nittany Lion.

The Penn State Creamery discontinued the Jerry Sandusky ice cream flavor. It was banana with whipped cream and a smear of chocolate.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is Sandusky's boyfriend?

Say what you want about Jerry Sandusky, but he always drives slowly through a school zone.

One time Jerry Sandusky was on a plane full of kids from his Second Mile charity. The pilot said the plane was going to crash. Sandusky said "we have to save the children." Someone else said "fuck the children." Sandusky replied "do you think we have the time?"

Jerry Sandusky was always the first one ready to leave the team hotel the morning after road games. He had his shit packed the night before.

Thanks to Golzilla, Albino and JLeary for their contributions.

Another Penn State Institution Tainted

2011-11-13T07:51:00.000-05:00

The Berkey Creamery, the ice cream store located on the Penn State campus, had an ice cream called “Sandusky Blitz.”
The flavor — described on their web site as “banana flavored ice cream with chocolate covered peanuts and caramel swirl,” was pulled from the store's menu and website.
But Peachy Paterno is still for sale.

Weekly Picks

2011-11-13T00:45:00.002-05:00

Last week was my worst week of the season. I got only one point and I was fortunate to get even that much. Saints almost pushed, and Cardinals won in overtime. I'm still shocked by the Miami result and I would probably pick against them this week if they weren't playing the only team in the NFL with a worse offense, the Redskins.

PHILADELPHIA -13 1/2 arizona
No way they lose two home games in a row. Now the question is can they win by two touchdowns. It's about time for the Eagles to explode on offense and the defense should be able to shut down John Skelton.

GREEN BAY -12 1/2 minnesota
The last time they played Minnesota kept it close. I don't see that happening this time. Aaron Rodgers is on another level.

buffalo +5 DALLAS
I still want to believe the Bills were not an early season mirage. If they lose this game big, I guess it means they were.

CINCINNATI +4 1/2 pittsburgh
It's Week 10 and I still haven't picked a home dog. It's never too late. The Bengals might actually be a good team. Andy Dalton and the defense should be able to keep things close.

BEST BET
CAROLINA -3 1/2 tennessee
There has to come a point where Cam Newton's great performances start paying off in wins and losses. I think that comes this week against a Tennessee team that is very cold after a strong start.

Last week: 2-3 (1 points)
Season: 23-22 (24 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-4)
Home Favorites: 2-3 (10-11
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (6-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (7-5)

He Really Knows How To Drill His Players

2011-11-12T07:53:00.000-05:00

In addition to the embarrassing title of his biography "Touched" by Jerry Sandusky, this picture emerges from Sandusky's instructional video

The TallSkott School of Crisis Management

2011-11-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

Many years ago TallSkott chatted with some girls on the internet and made a plan to meet them at the Staten Island Mall. When he got to the meeting place he saw the girls were unattractive and he called his father for advice.
"Dad what should I do?"
"Be a man, Scotty. Go meet with them."
TallSkott ignored this advice and stood up the ugly girls.

But even TallSkott would not have done what Penn State Assistant Coach Mike McQueary did.

McQueary, by his own account, witnessed Jerry Sandusky anally raping a young boy in the shower. And the first thing he did was call his father to ask for advice.

And his father told him he should leave the premises immediately and come to his house. Don't confront Sandusky, don't make a noise or something to let Sandusky know you're there and certainly don't call the cops. Call your father, and then leave the scene.

You witnessed a crime. Your first instinct should be to protect the child. Then you call police. The fact that he decided to call his dad first, and to think about his own career before the welfare of the child, is leading to the rise of a lot of conspiracy theories.

Did McQueary know he had some reason not to report Sandusky to police? Was he rewarded for his silence with an assistant coaching job?

And that's what makes this whole situation so difficult. With as much as we do know, there is still a lot we don't.

McQueary, who was initially hailed as the only person willing to report this behavior, is now being cast as a villain for his inaction. He even received death threats. And that is why he will not be on the sidelines for the game against Nebraska. If Paterno got fired for his dithering, I think McQueary deserves the same fate.

I Can't Wait to Take This Luckbox to Atlantic City

2011-11-11T11:11:00.001-05:00

Fresh off his big win playing Deal or No Deal in Maine Chase had an even bigger score at Point Pleasant, this time playing Wheel of Fortune.

The game starts with you spinning the wheel to see how many tickets you are playing for. Chase spun and landed on the tiny sliver with the silver 500 (the highest point total).

Then you see a puzzle with a few of the letters filled in, then you get to choose 3 letters from among all the other ones that are actually in the answer. We picked N, E & T, and got 500 tickets for each letter. Then we solved the puzzle "INDEPENDENT FILMS" and saw our winnings, 3500 tickets.

The tickets printed for what seemed like days. They just kept coming and coming until there was a huge mess on the floor.

Then we realized the machine had run out of tickets are we were still owed 1100. When they refilled the machines, the tickets came pouring out again. Chase was in awe, people were in shock, everyone was making a huge deal out of the little boy who won more tickets than they'd ever seen.

And after the game machine spit them out we had to feed them into another machine to count them. And turns out each ticket was actually worth 10, so in total we got more than 38,000 tickets.

We traded them in for 140 tickets to the rides (normal value: $50) and Chase also got a Mack from Cars. And we still left with a voucher for another 2000 tickets.

In all we spent about $12 on games ($3 on the winning Wheel of Fortune) plus an extra $6 in parking because we had to stay an extra hour to do all this.

My only regret is that it took me so long to post this.

This Could Get Worse

2011-11-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

A new rumor surfacing this morning threatens to the take Penn State Scandal down an even more disturbing road, if that's even possible.
Mark Madden, a reporter for the Beaver County Times, said on WEEI in Boston that some reporters are looking into allegations that Sandusky pimped out young boys to rich donors. Essentially running a child prostitution ring.
You can argue that it is irresponsible for him to report a rumor, with no basis in fact, especially one so explosive in nature.
But personally I like having access to all information and I will sift through it myself and decide what is true and what isn't.
Also keep in mind Madden has been way out in front of this Sandusky story.
Here's what he wrote:

"If Paterno and Penn State knew, but didn't act, instead facilitating Sandusky's untroubled retirement - are Paterno and Penn State responsible for untoward acts since committed by Sandusky?"

In April. He wrote that in April, 7 months before this story broke. So maybe he is once again out in front of this story. That is a sad thing to think about.

Song of the Week

2011-11-09T23:50:00.000-05:00

"Paranue"
The classic capoeira song from the legendary movie "Only the Strong."

JoePa Must Go...NOW!

2011-11-09T13:38:00.004-05:00

Joe Paterno announced he will retire as Penn State football coach at the end of this season. He should leave now.
Paterno was mostly exonerated in the indictment of Jerry Sandusky because he said he never learned of allegations of this nature against Sandusky until 2002.
In 2002 when he was told by Mike McQueary that Mcqueary saw Sandusky raping a little boy in the shower Paterno passed the report on to his supervisors.
And that is where Paterno fulfilled his legal obligation, and why he has not been charged with a crime.

But I say Paterno failed miserably in his moral obligation. Maybe some crimes you could look the other way. If your friend robs a bank, you can look the other way. But not for child abuse.

Let's take Paterno at his word. He never heard any allegations about Sandusky until 2002. And when he did hear about it, he was only told of "inappropriate sexual conduct" between Sandusky and a boy, not anal sex.

Even if that were true, he still should have done more. He never followed up with his supervisors. They never reported it to police. And so for 9 more years this pedophile was free to work at his charity for troubled boys.

And this is why it makes me sick to see admiring throngs outside Paterno's house demanding that he keep his job. He admits to willfully ignoring sexual molestation charges against his former right-hand man and deserves to suffer no consequences?

And speaking of consequences, I think JoePa should also face criminal charges for lying to investigators. First of all, he said he McQueary never told him he witnessed Sandusky having anal sex with the kid. McQueary says he did tell him that. And Curley and Schultz were charged with lying about the exact same thing.

Second of all, Paterno said he'd never been made aware of any allegations about Sandusky prior to 2002. But there was a police report about a 1998 incident. And even though charges were never filed in that case, it's almost implausible to believe Paterno didn't know about it.

This is likely what happened: Paterno knew for years about Sandusky's ways. After the 1998 incident, he forced Sandusky into retirement in 1999 and hoped it would go away. In 2002, he finally reported Sandusky to his superiors but he encouraged them never to report it to police. He barred Sandusky from ever bringing young boys to the facility again.

But he never tried to get counseling for his friend. He never tried to find the boy, the alleged shower victim. He never kicked Sandusky out of the program, he was around the team as recently as last week. He never followed up with Curley and Schultz about the 2002 accusation. And he never reported anything to the police.

For all those reasons...Joe Must Go...NOW!

Now That We Lost Heavy D, What Are We Gonna Do?

2011-11-09T11:33:00.000-05:00

In 1995 I went to a summer program at Syracuse University before my senior year in high school. My roommate was a real asshole but he had a good collection of rap CDs. So before we left I asked him to make me a mixtape of the best songs from those CDs. That song included "Nuttin But Love" by Heavy D. I know it is not Heavy's best known work but I think it typifies what people liked about him. Rhythmic beats, curse-free lyrics and a fun, upbeat, non-combative style.

"Nuttin But Love"

Heavy D, nee Dwight Myers, died yesterday at the age of 44. He collapsed on the sidewalk in front of his home and was pronounced dead at the hospital. Official cause of death is not yet known. At one point he weighed over 300 pounds but had slimmed down in recent years.

"Now That We Found Love"

Many people, including myself, were surprised to learn Heavy D was so young. He first came onto the scene in 1987 when he was only 20,

"Candy Rain - Remix"

It wasn't just rapping, in later years Heavy D acted in a lot of movies and TV shows. He was one of the auto repairmen (along with John Witherspoon and Katt Williams) in the garage owned by Tracy Morgan in "The Tracy Morgan Show." Which was actually a great show before Tracy Morgan became a caricature of the cariacture he was playing.

The NFL is Poop - Week 9

2011-11-08T13:57:00.001-05:00

You Can't Spell Elite Without Eli
When Eli Manning was asked during a radio interview this summer if he thought he was an elite quarterback in the class of Tom Brady, he gave the only answer he could reasonably expected to give "yes." We all know he is not in Brady's class, based on track record, but for one game (the second time?), he was better. Manning is not always perfect, throws a lot of interceptions, but he does have a knack for leading 4th quarter drives. The one in the Super Bowl cemented his place in Giants history forever. This one, cemeneted his status as an elite or near-elite quarterback.

Here's the Difference Between Good and Elite QBs
Right now I would rank Drew Brees, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers as elite quarterbacks. Philip Rivers, Jay Cutler and Eli Manning would be in that next group. Leaving out Ben Roethlisberger and Peyton Manning to simplify. All 6 of those guys have great arms, are really good passers and have some good results in the past. The difference is the elite guys don't make as many mistakes (interceptions). Sunday's Chargers-Packers game was a perfect example. Both quarterbacks had great days, combined for nearly 700 yards passing and 8 touchdowns. And San Diego actually had a chance to knock off an unbeaten team but Rivers threw 3 interceptions (0 for Rodgers), 2 of which were returned for touchdowns.

Pats Are Gonna Be Pissed
Either the Patriots are going to be really angry or they'll be in big trouble after this weekend's game against the Jets. Right now, the Pats have lost 2 in a row and they haven't scored more than 20 points in three straight games. That's after scoring 30 or more in their first 5 games. Even though they are number 1 in passing yards, they're last in passing defense. And they seem to have problems on both sides of the ball. This is a huge game because the Patriots already lost to the Bills, meaning they'd have to climb over two teams in the division. And with the AFC North so deep, it might be hard to get a wild card at 9-7.

Where Did That Come From?
Just a few days ago the Chiefs were streaking to the top of the AFC West and the Dolphins were winless and hoping for Andrew Luck. Then all of the sudden Matt Moore became a competent quarterback, the Dolphins D clamped down on the running game, and the Fish had a 31-3 victory.

Leader in the Clubhouse
The Dolphins' win, the one last week by the Rams, and the Colts latest loss to the Falcons, mean Indianapolis has the inside track on the first pick in the NFL Draft, which will almost surely be Andrew Luck.

This could present an interesting conundrum. As you know, the Colts already have a quarterback, but he is hurt, and even though they just signed him to a new contract (I guess that was pretty foolish) they may have to consider drafting Luck. Apparently this is not sitting well with Peyton Manning who wants to come back to his job next season. I think if the Colts do get the top pick, they should trade it for a couple draft picks to help smooth the transition when Manning really does retire. What do you think?

Brief Rant about the Redskins
John Beck stinks. He can't throw. Until a completely useless touchdown at the end of the game the Redskins had 3 points in 118 minutes with Beck at the helm. They have got to go back to Rex Grossman. But the Shanahans will be stubborn and stick with the guy they like. Beck is so bad that Roy Helu set a franchise record for catches in game. He caught 14 balls, because Beck can't throw downfield. Another ignominious team record: Graham Gano kicked a 59-yard field goal. I was rooting for him to miss because I didn't want his name in the team's history.

Picture of the Week
A cool shot right down the line of scrimmage during the Dolphins-Chiefs game.

Shifting of Power
Every week I try to pick a team from each conference to play in my hypothetical right now Super Bowl. It is getting harder and harder to find a good AFC team. The power has clearly shifted to the NFC. Green Bay, Detroit, San Francisco and the Giants all look better right now than anyone in the AFC. The Patriots lost 2 in a row, including one to the Steelers, who just lost to Baltimore, who almost lost to the Cardinals and they did lose to the Jaguars.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packer 45 Cincinnati Bengals 13
Cincinnati gets the nod almost by default, but they have won 5 in a row. They have a really good defense and Andy Dalton is turning out to be a pretty good quarterback for a rookie. The Packers are just awesome and they are two wins away (Vikings, ExpensiveCornPrices) from being undefeated going into the early Thanksgiving Day game against the Lions.

This Is Too Serious to Even Make Fun of the Penn State Alumni

2011-11-07T14:03:00.001-05:00

Penn State and its alumni are a frequent target of my humorous barbs on this site. Not today. This time I am calling for Joe Paterno's resignation not because he's a senile, old fool but because of his lack of action after very serious allegations were made against former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky.

Sandusky, 67, was a longtime Paterno assistant until he retired in 1999. Even after his retirement he was given unfettered access to university facilities. Sandusky used his position as a Penn State coach to lure young boys whom he originally met through his charity, called Second Mile.

Sandusky started the charity to help troubled boys. According to the grand jury's indictment, he molested them. 8 victims are named over a period of several years.

Sandusky invited victims to his home, they slept over, he gave them tickets to Penn State games and drove them to Eagles games. And he often gave boys a tour of the Penn State facilities, culminating in showing them the shower.

Victim #1 started sleeping over at Sandusky's house in 2005 and 2006 when he was in 6th or 7th grade, so roughly 11 or 12 years old. Sandusky would come down to the basement where the boy was sleeping and "crack" the boy's back. It became a bedtime ritual. Then Sandusky moved on to rubbing the boy's butt, then blowing on his bare stomach, then sucking his dick. The boy claims Sandusky performed oral sex on him 20 times. And he did it to Sandusky once.

Victim #4 says Sandusky rubbed his genitals on his face and even put his dick in the boy's mouth. And ejaculating! He said Sandusky also tried to put his finger and his penis in the boy's ass.

The other victims claims fall short of those, mostly that he showered with them, touched them, and made them uncomfortable. Perhaps if they didn't resist he would have done more to them.

This is right out of the child molester's handbook written by Michael Jackson. Pick on underprivileged boys from bad family situations. Start slowly, so those that object right away don't have real charges. And most importantly, you need to have people who will cover up for you.

And that's where victim #2 comes in. Graduate assistant and former QB Mike McQueary went to put sneakers in his locker at 9:30 one night. He saw the lights and the showers on, and heard what sounded like people have sex. He saw a naked boy, who looked to be about 10, with his hands on the wall, being anally violated by Sandusky.

Doing the right thing, McQueary told Coach Paterno the next day. The matter was never reported to police. Paterno, AD Tim Curley and another university VP Gary Schultz all claim McQueary only told them of inappropriate behavior, not sexual activity explicitly.

Even so, they decided taking away Sandusky's keys to the locker room was sufficient punishment.

Curley and Schultz have resigned, they are charged with crimes. Paterno, who was not charged, should resign too.

This is not just an embarrassment. This is a trusted member of the coaching staff using his positions, and the university's facilities to systematically engage in sexual molestation of young boys. And it's clear university officials including Joe Paterno allowed this to happen.

What Do You Give Me For? Kris Humphries and Taylor Lautner

2011-11-07T13:54:00.000-05:00

What do you give me for the Kim Kardashian's soon-to-be ex-husband Kris Humphries and Twilight star Taylor Lautner?

Story Suggested by Damino

Weekly Picks

2011-11-06T01:47:00.003-04:00

Lack of power didn't hurt me too bad last week. Though I got off to a bad start I closed the show with two of my easiest victories of the year. Still looking for teams to totally reverse course from their performance last week.

ARIZONA -2 1/2 st. louis
St. Louis was 0-6 and just pulled a huge upset of the Saints. I think they still stink. Unfortunately the Cardinals stink too. But I like them at home in this one, even though Kevin Kolb is out and John Skelton, the pride of Fordham, is starting.

OAKLAND -7 denver
I'm going to keep picking against Tebow. Even his own coaches don't believe in him. They are just doing this to get the fans off their back.

NEW ORLEANS -8 tampa bay
The last time the Saints played the ExpensiveCornPrices they lost, and rebounded by delivering one of the biggest ass-kickings in history. Then they went out and lost to the Rams. They bounce back again.

BUFFALO -2 1/2 new york jets
This spread makes it look like people think the Jets are the better team. It's ok to believe in the Bills now. And if you do, you have to pick them giving so few points at home.

BEST BET
KANSAS CITY -4 miami
Another spread that seems way too small. The Chiefs have won 4 in a row and seem to have their problems figured out. The Dolphins have a lot more problems and they haven't got answers to any of them.

Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 21-19 (23 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-3)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (8-8)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (6-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-5)

Free Prostate Exam

2011-11-05T13:21:00.000-04:00

Check out this goal celebration in the Iranian soccer league:

While I think this was an accidental grab and squeeze, you can tell the squeezee wasn't pleased, as he swatted the offending hand away.

Lest you think this was merely harmless, grabass hijinks, don't forget this took place in Iran. Both players, even the unwilling participant, are banned forever from Iranian soccer stadia because of "immoral behavior."

We Would Never Pull This on Chase

2011-11-04T11:22:00.002-04:00

Jimmy Kimmel challenged parents of America to tell their kids they had eaten all the Halloween candy, and record the reactions and post them to youtube. Kimmel compiled the best ones into this clip:

My favorite is the one who said "dad, you're ugly."

Happy Halloween

2011-11-03T13:15:00.000-04:00

2011 was another great Halloween. Despite the weather, the subsequent power outage and the weekday timing, most of our neighborhood was home and gladly distributing candy. Except there was one house completely cordoned off with "Danger/Peligro" tape. I thought to myself, what cool Halloween decorations. Until I realized the house actually was taped off because of a downed power line in the front yard.
Chase remembered to say "trick or treat" at nearly every house but mostly forgot his "thank yous." His favorite part may have been giving the candy to the kids who came to our door, though there were few since we stayed out for nearly two hours.
Julian didn't really have a favorite part. He didn't like being in the stroller that long and he didn't like have the dragon's hood over his head.

Hall of Famer Dan Uggla

2011-11-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

Despite one of the worst starts to a season anyone has ever had (568 OPS through July 4th) Braves second baseman Dan Uggla is still on his path for Cooperstown.
Here's where I originally suggested Uggla's homers and RBI from a second baseman could be good enough to make the Hall of Fame.
This season Uggla hit 36 home runs (a career high), giving him at least 30 for the fifth straight season. No other second baseman in major league history has reached 30 homers more than three times overall.
Through 6 seasons he has 192, meaning he could easily have 400 after 14 or 15 years. He only needs 352 to be the all-time leader among second baseman.

The NFL is Poop - Week 8

2011-11-02T11:44:00.000-04:00

Can't Figure Out the Saints
It was just three short weeks ago that the Saints were 4-1 with their only loss being to the Packers. The 4-game winning streak was snapped by the ExpensiveCornPrices. They bounced back from that defeat with the biggest blowout in modern NFL history. Then they lost to the previously winless Rams. And they allowed 31 points to a team that had been averaging only 9. Turnovers are part of it but more importantly, they just do not have a good, consistent defense, especially against the run.

Or the Chiefs
After their last game against the Chargers the Chiefs were left for dead. They were 0-3 and they had been outscored 109-27. Now the Chiefs are on a 4-game winning streak. And with the Raiders struggling with an injured QB and the Chargers doing their normal disappointing shenanigans the Chiefs look like a pretty decent bet to make the playoffs.

The Year of the (Rookie) Quarterback
Five quarterbacks were taken in the first 35 picks of the 2011 NFL Draft. Cam Newton (1), Jake Locker (8), Blaine Gabbert (10), Christian Ponder (12) and Andy Dalton (35). Four of them are starting and their accomplishments are very impressive. Cam Newton is setting all kids of rookie passing records. Andy Dalton led his team to a 4-0 record in October. Ponder rescued the Vikings from Donovan McNabb and nearly beat the Packers before triumphing over the Panthers. If I had to project right now I would say Newton will be a huge star, Ponder will be a good QB, Dalton will be a good game-manager who wins but never puts up big numbers. And one or both of Gabbert and Locker will be busts.

The Tim Tebow Excitement Wore Off Quickly
So many people want to believe in Tim Tebow. I would love to see him succeed. But it is not going to happen. As I have said before, he possesses every single trait you need to be a great NFL quarterback, except, he can't throw. And he couldn't bring his team back heroically in this one. In a 45-10 loss to the Lions he completed only 18 of 39 passes for not even 4 and a half yards per attempt. He was also sacked 7 times. I predict Tebow will not even last the season as the starting QB. And even if he does, he will never start another game at QB in the NFL after this year.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
The Redskins stink. John Beck is not good. I have no idea what Shanahan saw in him that led him to dump Rex Grossman after one bad game. But without Tim Hightower, Chris Cooley and Santana Moss this offense can't move the ball. And they can't protect Beck to give him time to find a receiver. The Bills sacked him 9 times, more than doubling their season total to this point. And the defense, which had held up well in the first four games as completely collapsed under the weight of carrying this team.

Who is the Second Best Team in the NFL?
We all know that the Packers are the best team with a perfect 7-0 record. Deciding who is next is a little more difficult. There is only 1 team with a 6-1 record, the San Francisco 49ers. And they're only loss was that overtime killer to the Cowboys in Week 2. And they have beaten some teams with good records Detroit (5-2), Cincinnati (5-2) and Tampa Bay (4-3). Which means they still have 2 games each with St. Louis and Arizona. They could easily win 11 games, 13 if they really are this good.

Pictures of the Week
A disappointing number of teams dressed their cheerleaders up in Halloween costumes. The best coming to us from Tennessee and Baltimore.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 31 Pittsburgh Steelers 25
The Steelers take the AFC's top spot by beating the Patriots. But neither of those two teams looks Super Bowl worthy right now. A lot still to shake out in the AFC.

Song of the Week

2011-11-02T01:17:00.002-04:00

"Break Even" - The Script

Weekly Picks

2011-10-30T07:37:00.004-04:00

Doing these from the Blackberry because the power is out.

BALTIMORE -12 1/2 arizona

philadelphia -3 dallas

indianapolis +9 TENNESSEE

CAROLINA -3 1/2 minnesota

Best bet
Detroit -3 DENVER

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 19-16 (20 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (4-3)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (8-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (4-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (7-4)

Nothing to Apologize For

2011-10-28T11:30:00.001-04:00

Rob Gronkowski has nothing to be sorry about. The Patriots tight end was pictured with porn star BiBi Jones. She was wearing his jersey, he was not.

This created quite a fitrestorm and eventually led to Gronk apologizing to Robert Kraft. Apparently, they think he sullied the Patriots image by allowing a porn star to wear the precious jersey.

The only good part of this fiasco is that the world was introduced to BiBi Jones, who is apparently a major groupie. She says she did not fuck Gronkowski, but she did sleep with Phoenix Coyotes player Paul Bissonette and Dan Uggla (that should get him into the Hall of Fame). She also claims she was used as a recruiting tool for an agent. He took her to spring training in Arizona in 2010 and would take her out to bars at night.

"You know, baseball players would come and I’d introduce myself. And then I got to hook up with baseball players and have fun. It was like a dream come true because I love athletes and baseball’s my favorite sport."

Jones claimed that she slept with "more than 10" players.

But Jones says she didn't fuck Gronkowski even though she wanted to.

Gronkowski should feel remorse about that.

The NFL is Poop - Week 7

2011-10-26T13:32:00.000-04:00

It's Tebow Time
The debate over Tim Tebow is reaching a boiling point with each side gaining more ammunition based on his performance in the Broncos 18-15 over the Miami Dolphins. The Tebow supporters were heartened by him pulling victory from the jaws of defeat, the first ever comeback of more than 14 points in less than 3 minutes. "He's a winner," they say.
The Tebow detractors point to his performance in the first 55 minutes when he was absolutely dreadful, 4 for 14 for 40 yards. "He'll never have a comeback like that against a real team."
I'm firmly in the second camp, with one exception. I really, really, really, really like Tim Tebow. I think he is a hell of a guy and I love him as a player. But not as a quarterback. I do think there is a large psychological component to the position. I think it does take a special kind of person to make the big play when the game is on the line.
Unfortunately, I also think throwing arm and accuracy are way more important traits. And I don't believe he has them, or can learn them.

Old-Fashioned Ass-Whupping
The Saints put a hurt on the Colts, the worst beating in the history of the modern NFL. 62 points tied a post-merger record, as did the 55-point margin of victory. They scored every single time they had the ball until the very last drive, 5 touchdowns, 2 field goals, then three more touchdowns, the last of which came on an interception return. Just a complete and total domination.

How Much Does a Quarterback Really Matter?
Last year the Colts were 10-6 and made the playoffs. This year they are 0-7. The biggest difference. Peyton Manning is not playing.

How Much Does a Quarterback Really Matter? II
The Raiders were 4-2 with the good, not great, Jason Campbell running the team. He got hurt and Kyle Boller and Carson Palmer combined to throw 6 interceptions in a 28-0 loss to the Chiefs, who were averaging 30 points per game entering this game.

Suck for Luck
Dolphins fans didn't even seem too upset by their historic collapse against the Broncos. They are hoping the Fins can "Suck for Luck" and get the first draft pick, which will allow them to take Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck. Problem is, they may not be the only winless team tanking. The Colts and Rams are equally atrocious, but neither of those two teams is as desperate for a QB as Miami. The Rams have Bradford, and unless Manning is too hurt to ever play again, the Colts will give him a few more years, since they paid him so much money. It'll be interesting to see if the Dolphins blatantly start dumping games in order to draft him.

I Have Seen the Light
I wasn't convinced before the season started, but now I am sure, Cam Newton is going to be a big star in this league for a very long time. He is not the White Tim Tebow or the Sane Vince Young. He's more like a better Daunte Culpepper. He is a great running quarterback as shown on a ridiculous run he had early in the first quarter against the Redskins, while evading about 5 tacklers. But Newton doesn't run at the first sign of trouble, he doesn't need to, he's a great passer. He's not in the Brady, Brees, Rodgers class of guy who throw the ball to open spots with perfect accuracy to let their receivers catch it, but he's close. He nailed so many perfect throws, especially to Steve Smith. It was very impressive to watch.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
All the hope I had after the 3-1 start is gone. The offense stinks and now it's being run by John Beck who is not as good as Rex Grossman, but for some reason the Shanahans like him better. Now Chris Cooley and Tim Hightower are out for the season and Santana Moss is out until December. The offense looks even worse. And the defense which had been great couldn't tackle Cam Newton or defend Steve Smith.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 31 New England Patriots 14
The Packers got a scare from Christian Ponder but held on. The Patriots will solidify their spot if they can beat the Steelers this week.

Song of the Week

2011-10-26T02:52:00.001-04:00

"Real Love remix" - Mary J Blige featuring Notorious B.I.G.
One of the funniest moments in my life occurred during this song. We're at a crowded bar and TON's friend KayTee points his finger straight up in the air. He gives us just enough time to look around and act confused because we have no idea what he is pointing at. Then we hear "Look up in the sky..." Genius

Note: That awesome beat is a sample from Betty Wright's "Clean Up Woman"

Stand Up for Gary Carter

2011-10-25T22:25:00.004-04:00

25 years ago today Gary Carter stepped to the plate with no one on, two men out and his team trailing by 2 runs.
Carter singled to center field to start the most amazing rally in the history of baseball (stakes included).
Now Carter faces a much tougher opponent, cancer. Carter is battling brain cancer with chemotherapy and other treatments.
His former batterymate Ron Darling "stands up" for Carter in a new ad.

The Greatest Day of My Life

2011-10-25T10:25:00.002-04:00

There was a time in life when I was young and innocent. I always believed. And why not? I rooted for the Mets, the 1986 Mets in particular.
Those Mets were one of the greatest teams in the history of baseball. And it wasn't just that they won, it was the way the won.
Like July 3rd, when they trailed 5-3 in the 10th inning and then Darryl Strawberry homered to tie it and Ray Knight who had already struck out 4 times, homered in his 5th at bat to win it.
Or July 22nd, when the Mets beat the Reds in 14 innings while shuffling relievers between the mound and the outfield after several players got ejected during a bench-clearing brawl. I have described this game as one of my favorite games ever.
Or the entire NLCS against the Astros. The Mets constantly had their backs to the wall but they always won. They always believed and so did I.

25 years ago today, the Mets staged their greatest comeback.

Trailing by two runs, with two out and nobody on Gary Carter singled.

I don't remember exactly how I felt at the moment, but I know I hadn't given up the way I would have now.

Kevin Mitchell singled.

I remember watching this game with my entire family. We were crammed onto my parents bed.

Ray Knight singled. Gary Carter scored. Kevin Mitchell advanced to third.

At some point my mom admitted this game was "a little exciting."

Bob Stanley throws a wild pitch. Kevin Mitchell scores to tie the game. Ray Knight advances to second.

"Here comes Mitchell! Here comes Mitchell!"

And then it happened. The moment of pure joy and happiness that has stayed with me for 25 years.

Mookie Wilson hits a slow roller down the first base line.

Then Bob Murphy utters the 3 greatest words in the English language:

"Gets By Buckner!"

And in that moment we all started jumping on my parents' bed, as I am sure young kids all over New York did the same.

I'm getting chills while writing this. It was 25 years ago.

What an incredible moment. Proof that anything can happen, as long as you keep trying to make it happen.

The ensuing 25 years have not been kind to those Mets. Two days later (there was a rainout), they won the World Series. Three days later Dwight Gooden missed the victory parade because he was snorting coke in a hotel room. A confession he made only recently, though everyone knew it for years. Gooden served a suspension for drugs at the beginning of 1987 and the rest of the pitching staff was wracked by injuries. Then in 1988 the Mets lost in the NLCS to an inferior Dodgers team. By 1989 Carter and Hernandez and Mookie were too old and this amazing team only won one World Series.

Gooden and Strawberry were drug addicts. Kevin Mitchell was crazy too, reportedly killing a cat. Jesse Orosco, Doug Sisk and Danny Heep were the "Scum Bunch" who used to sit on the back of and drink and act like assholes. Gary Carter was media-obsessed and unpopular with his teammates.

But none of that mattered on October 25, 1986. All I know is the Mets won in the most impossible, unbelievable, exhilarating, thrilling and memorable fashion.

So memorable that it was turned into one of the greatest season highlight videos ever: "1986 Mets: A Year to Remember."

Note: that video uses the radio broadcast which is why I use Bob Murphy's "gets by Buckner" as opposed to Vin Scully's "gets through Buckner" even though I was watching on TV and listening to Scully at the time.

Over the years I have watched that video so many times and each time it brings me back to that moment on my parents' bed, with my family, jumping, screaming, hugging, and enjoying a moment the likes of which I have never seen in the 25 years since, and will likely never see again.