I'm a Douche

Coach John Wooden always warned me, "be quick but don't hurry." When I rush I make mistakes. Eager to get on the road home from Toronto, I was loading the car, dropped the keys into the back and pressed the door close button. I really thought that once you pressed the remote to open a door, you also unlocked it, but that is true only for all the other doors, not the back. Thankfully, when I ran back into the hotel I saw my aunt who gave me her CAA (AAA only with a C) card. I called, the guy was there within 30 minutes. He put what looked like a blood pressure cuff into the door slot. He squeezed the pump, it inflated the cloth part, giving him enough room to insert a long stick with a hook on the end to push the lock open. It was that easy. So the locking of the car keys only cost us about an hour, and some headaches, but I'm still a douche.

What Do You Give Me For? John Goodman and Nadzeya Ostapchuk

Nadzeya Ostapchuk was stripped for her gold medal for failing a drug test. Maybe her striking resemblance to John Goodman should have been a tipoff.

Story suggested by JLeary

Song of the Week

"Forever and Ever Amen" - Randy Travis

I've had this song in my head ever since I saw Randy Travis's mugshot.

I Found the Hottest Olympian

After watching 17 days of coverage (including scouting for talent during the Opening Ceremonies) I believe I have found the hottest female Olympian. And I feel I kind of it to myself and the male Poopheads after yesterday's poll.

Her name is Jaqueline Carvalho but she goes by Jaque. She plays for the Brazilian women's volleyball team. And she is actually married to Murilo from the men's team. The announcers were gushing over what an attractive couple they make.

Man or Lady?

I am now about to introduce you to a game the Poop family has been playing for years. You pull up to Customs at the U.S./Canada border and before you can see you poll the car, "man or lady?" You have to guess which gender the agent will be. Let's do the same thing with the shot putter from Belarus. Nadzeya Ostapchuk stripped of the gold medal after failing a doping test.