Weekly Picks

A disappointing week, because I am mad at myself for ignoring my rules, in both the San Francisco-Seattle and San Diego-Philadelphia games I ignored the fact that teams just don't seem to play the same way every single week. I will keep that in mind this week.

NEW ENGLAND -7 tampa bay
The Patriots had two narrow wins against bad teams. This is their third bad opponent in a row and this time I would expect them to deliver the beatdown they are known to lay on inferior opponents like the ExpensiveCornPrices.

new york giants -1 CAROLINA
The Giants two losses thus far have been the product of 10 turnovers. They will get that corrected and the Panthers who played well in a loss last week will revert back to playing like shit.

buffalo +2 NEW YORK JETS
The Jets stink and the Bills are actually pretty good.

jacksonville +19 SEATTLE
A huge spread for the Seahawks coming off a ridiculously huge week.

BEST BET
Chicago -2 PITTSBURGH
All the Bears have to do is beat a pretty pathetic Pittsburgh team. But I could be ignoring my bad performance corollary again.

Last Week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 4-6 (4 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-1)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (1-2)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Underdogs: 2-2 (2-3)

What Do You Give Me For? Kate Upton and the Grand Theft Auto V Girl

It looks like Grand Theft Auto V clearly copied Kate Upton's body (I'd recognize those tits anywhere) for this character, but it appears the face was drawn based on a model they actually hired.

I'm Not a Doctor

Matt Harvey has a torn ligament in his elbow. Tommy John surgery is the usual avenue to repair such an injury, but since it is only a partial tear, Harvey has decided to try to rehab it, instead of opting for Tommy John surgery.
This totally sucks. And we want to kick ourselves in the asses and say "typical Mets, cursed franchise" and I might agree with that. We have had Tom Seaver who was great. Gooden who was great and derailed his career with drugs, and now Matt Harvey.
Of course the fear is that he will struggle through one or more injury-plagued seasons before needing the surgery anyway, so why not just have it now?
I guess the thinking is that he can strengthen the muscles around the ligament to prevent a tear. And even if a tear is inevitable, maybe putting it off, would allow a couple more good years before Tommy John surgery and maybe lengthen his career at the back end was well.
And since Dr. James Andrews signed off on this, I'm willing to try this approach. The fear of course is that he will rehab and then tear it sometime next season, costing him 2014 and 2015.
There is a strong reason to believe Harvey will never be the same again, but there are also many examples of guys who came back as good or better.
Adam Wainwright and Steven Strasburg both had the operation in 2011. Chris Carpenter had it in 2007 and came back strong for 3 seasons before getting hurt again. AJ Burnett, Anibal Sanchez and Francisco Liriano are other pitcher who have had success post-Tommy John.

Harvey does not seem to be handling the injury, and the scrutiny over his personal medical decision, very well. Here's his curt interview with Dan Patrick.



I'm very familiar with these type of interviews and the arrangement is exactly how Dan Patrick described it. In this case Qualcomm pays Matt Harvey to be its spokesman. Matt Harvey does interviews to promote the product, but the agreement (and usually it's unspoken, as the producer explained) is that the player will do a real interview about all reasonable topics and the last question or two will be about what is being promoted.
Dan Patrick handled it well, Matt Harvey did not. He later apologized on Twitter as he realized his behavior did damage to himself and to Qualcomm.
I'm sure Harvey's image can recover from this, but can his elbow?

Breaking Bad: "Ozymandias"

Once again Vince Gilligan and the Breaking Bad team got the characters out of a situation in a logical reasonable way. Almost, I do think it was a little implausible that Jesse could have been hiding under the car and they would not have noticed him. But the fact that they did choose to let him live in order to cook makes a little sense. Though $68-$69 million dollars, even split 10 ways or so, is a pretty good reason not to cook meth.

Seems a little greedy, which by the way was very funny about Uncle Jack stealing the money basically from Walt, and then calling the other guys greedy for not wanting to leave him a barrel. And then him telling Walt he needs to know that they are "square" or else he will kill him. I guess he believes there is honor among thieves. But it remains to be seen if Walt has just written off that much money.

Hank and Gomey had to die. Once they took us down that road, that was the only viable off-ramp. I don't understand why Walt begged so hard for Hank to live, yet he turned on Jesse so quickly, even twisting the dagger with that Jane comment.

I guess because Hank is family. And the whole show is about the lengths Walt will go to in order to protect his family.

I think this episode was when he finally realized that as a direct result of the actions he took to protect his family, he lost his family.

That's why his final desperate act as Walter White, was to kidnap Holly, dump her at a fire station and make the call to Skylar. He knew the cops would be listening and he wanted to make it seem that he acted alone, and Skylar had nothing to do with it.

Now we have two episodes to find out if Walt really goes to New Hampshire (the next episode is entitled "The Granite State") or if he was just given a New Hampshire ID. We will see if Jesse teaches Todd to cook, or if he blows him up or does some other Walter-esque scheme to get himself out of there. And we may finally learn who the ricin is for, and Jesse is looking like a much more likely target.

Song the Week

"Only You Babe" - Curtis Mayfield
Curtis Mayfield, the legend, the best that's ever done it, in one of his lesser known songs. He's known for his political messages, but this one is a love/lust tune with his great falsetto.

The NFL is Poop - Week 2

Thunder and Lightning
A strange, sloppy game between the 49ers and the Seahawks, with a result I certainly did not see coming. I love Colin Kaepernick, but the Seahawks defense rattled him into the worst game he's ever played. And because the defense was so dominant it allowed the offense to keep pounding with Marshawn Lynch until that worked, which opened things up for Russell Wilson who was horrible early but good enough late to rout the 49ers and make a big statement in the division and in fact, the conference.
I am not usually a proponent of home-field advantage. I know it exists, but I think it's importance is heavily overstated. But if ever a crowd and a field can make a significant impact on the game, it is this Seattle atmosphere right now.

Manning Bowl
Peyton Manning is now on pace for only 72 touchdowns this season. And the New York Giants are on pace to make 80 turnovers. There's a pretty good chance the Broncos will be able to keep this up and dominate offensively most of the season.
The Giants will not continue to turn the ball over like this. Eli Manning has gone through stretches like this before, and even won the Super Bowl in those same seasons. He will eventually figure it out, because luck plays a big part in turnovers. And since the NFC East is down this year, I still think the Giants have a decent chance to make the playoffs.

1-Point Wins
Buffalo 24 Carolina 23
Beautiful last-second game-winning touchdown pass by EJ Manuel. Obviously the Panthers blew the coverage, but the play was designed to make that happen. A lot of sports is luck and timing but eventually sometimes you just need to make a play. EJ Manuel did that, several of them really, and that bodes well for long-suffering Bills fans like Damino.

Chicago 31 Minnesota 30
The last-second throw by Jay Cutler may have been even better, hitting Martellus Bennett, against much better coverage. The Bears have survived two very close games and are now one of only three 2--0 in the NFC.

Kansas City 17 Dallas 16
This one wasn't as exciting as the other two but it was still an exciting and interesting game. Everyone was going nuts about the Kansas City Chiefs before the season and now that they've gone 2-0 everyone thinks their suspicions were realized. Sure the Chiefs are improved, but they are still far from playoff caliber. And if they do end up shocking me and making the playoffs, Alex Smith will be a much bigger, well not bigger, a much more important reason, than Andy Reid.

Game of the Week
Houston 30 Tennessee 24
This overtime game was exciting enough to earn this spot on its own merits, but what really put it over the top was a crazy sequence late in the fourth quarter.
4th down and 9, Houston as the ball at the Tennessee 33 as time is winding down.
Randy Bullock hits a 51-yard field goal.
BUT WAIT...Titans coach Mike Munchak called time.
Randy Bullock misses a 51-yard field goal.
BUT WAIT...the Titans were offsides.
Randy Bullock misses a 46-yard field goal.
BUT WAIT...Munchak called time out again.
Randy Bullock misses a 46-yard field goal.
So he got 4 tries, hit the first, and missed the next 3 sending the game into overtime.
The Texans won the coin toss and won the game by scoring a touchdown. They can say they did it because of the new overtime rules requiring each team to get a possession unless the first team scores a touchdown. But we know they did it because they didn't want to have to rely on Randy Bullock again.

Game of Next Week
Green Bay at Cincinnati
Ok, so this doesn't have any divisional or conference implications but I like this game for two reasons: both teams are really good on offense, and both teams need this game. They both lost tough games in week 1 and they are both playoff and Super Bowl contenders but one of them will be 1-2 after this.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
If the first half against the Eagles and the first half against the Packers were combined into one game the Redskins would have lost it 50-7 and allowed almost 700 yards of offense. That they scored 40 second half points in these two games is only a product of how badly they played and how far behind they were.
There is little hope they can suddenly turn this season around, for one simple reason: Robert Griffin III is not healthy.

They aren't even trying running plays. And without the threat of him keeping it in the pistol formation, Alfred Morris can't run.
And without any running game the Redskins pass. And without making any first downs, the defense is constantly on the field, and it's bad to begin with.
And that is how you have two of the worst games any team could ever possibly play, back-to-back to open the season.

Picture of the Week
Falcons safety William Moore makes an unorthodox tackles on the Rams Mike McNeil.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 27 Seattle Seahawks 13
Denver has looked dominant in two games and even though the Pats are too, you can't even imagine New England beating Denver right now. A closer race in the NFC as the Seahawks are the clear choice but the Bears and Saints have been impressive too. And Seattle barely beat Carolina, so who knows. It's still early.

Weekly Picks

A pretty lucky opening weekend, or unlucky depending on your point of view. Four of the games I picked were very close, one ended as a push, but the biggie, my best bet was pushed over the top by a late field goal.

PHILADELPHIA -7 san diego
I really think the Eagles are on to something, at least at early before other teams have a chance to figure it out. They thoroughly dominated the Redskins and nothing that happened in the 4th quarter makes any difference when indicating how well the Eagles will play this week. I do hate that I am picking a Monday Night winner vs. a Monday night loser, but I think the Eagles performance actually looked worse than it was and the Chargers actually looked better than it was, simply because they held it close.

buffalo +3 CAROLINA
I was very impressed with the way the Bills played against New England last week. I think EJ Manuel has a chance to be pretty good. And I am growing increasingly sure that Cam Newton's rookie season was a mirage and he actually sucks.

st. Louis +6 1/2 ATLANTA
I'm still happy with the Rams even though they didn't cover in Week 1. The Falcons are good but this spread is a little too big.

dallas +3 KANSAS CITY
I think we are all getting a little too ahead of ourselves with the Chiefs. They looked great, but they were playing the Jaguars. I refuse to believe Alex Smith is great and Andy Reid is smart, just because of one week.

BEST BET
san Francisco +3 SEATTLE
My preseason predictions centered around two things: the 49ers would be even better this year, and the Seahawks would be worse. Nothing I saw in Week 1 is leading me to change my mind. I love Kaepernick and think Russell Wilson is very overrated. But turnovers will matter here, and that has a lot to do with luck. I rarely take this many underdogs, especially as my best bet, but I just have a feeling.

Last Week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 2-3 (3 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (1-0)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (0-0)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (0-0)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (0-0)

Breaking Bad: "To'hajiilee"

Let's start with the obvious, To'hajiilee, is the Navajo Indian Reservation where the money is buried, the initial cook was, and the huge gunfight took place. I know that obscure reference is what everyone was talking about after that episode. And by the way, the next episode is called Ozymandias after a Percy Shelley poem.

I actually want to wait a second before I discuss the heart-pounding climax because there's another point I want to make. I touched on this briefly last week: everyone else is taking on Walt's traits, and he is losing them.

Last week everyone wanted to kill someone, except Walt who wanted to spare Jesse. Usually it is Walt who comes up with the genius schemes to get out of sticky situations (the gas in the very first episode, the Tuco explosion, the Hector bomb and many more) but this time it was Hank using the "brains" to manipulate Huell, and then using the info from Huell to concoct a scheme to get Walt to lead them to the money. And it is Walt who failed to consider all the options, acted rashly and got himself in trouble.

Now we know through 5 seasons that the hallmark of the show if for characters to get themselves into and out of trouble. And usually their escapes are organic and clever not cheesy, contrived or ridiculous. If that holds, Hank and Gomey have to die. There is just no way they could survive being as outgunned as they are. And I don't see any way the Aryans simply back off at Walt's urging. Jesse would likely have to die as well, were there any realism at play, but I can totally see him making a run for it and in the confusion, escaping into the desert.

And Walt will have three episodes to chase him, perhaps with the series ending on a final confrontation. Maybe Jesse kills Walt. He called him Walt for the first time all series, a clear sign he has lost all respect for his former mentor.

I have the feeling this is the episode where Walt finally goes on the run, answering those questions about the diner breakfast on his 52nd birthday, the New Hampshire ID, the defaced house and whether his cancer is really back (we do see him with a full head of hair and a beard).

This may very well be one of the best cliffhangers in TV history, hopefully it ends better than "who shot JR?"

0 Words

I have no words for mistakes this stupid, this egregious, this public, that many people had and should have had the opportunity to correct.

Song of the Week

"Right Above It" - Lil Wayne featuring Drake
I don't post a lot of rap on this blog but this one has one of the best beats I've heard in a while.

Funny or Douchey?

At Syracuse University half of the guys in broadcast journalism want to be local sports anchors, at least to start their careers. Adam Lefkoe, class of 2008, is living the dream at WHAS11 in Louisville. For his Sunday evening sportscast he turned it into a Seinfeldcast. He took suggestions via Twitter and worked in as many references as he could. He hit 41, including the graphics.



I think it's a cool idea, but I'm not sold on the execution. Of the 41 references, 10 were natural, 20 (including those) were funny, 20 others were forced and awkward and 1 went over my head. It took me several minutes to remember Jack Clompus told Jerry to "take the pen."

I'm very torn on funny or douchey for this one, which is why I need your help, Poopheads.

The NFL is Poop - Week 1

So Peyton Manning is Good
An absolutely legendary performance by one of the greatest quarterbacks ever. That third quarter was incredibly fun to watch as he was completely dominant. I got my picks in just under the wire and selected Denver to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. I don't want to overreact to one game but I certainly feel good about that performance. As for the Ravens, I wouldn't give up on them yet, but I would remember that they were the 5th seed last year, and lost a lot of players, hard to imagine they could improve off that.

Dumb Move of the Week I
The Broncos were leading 42-17 in the 4th quarter when Danny Trevathan picked off Joe Flacco and returned it 30 yards for an easy touchdown. But wait, the idiot dropped the ball on the one yard, clearly before crossing the plane of the end zone. It was like Leon Lett, except no one stripped him, he dropped it on his own. Lucky for him, the Broncos were winning comfortably and held onto that lead.

Dumb Move of the Week II
Lavonte David wasn't so lucky, his dumb play cost his team the game. Geno Smith ran out of bounds at the ECP's 45-yard-line with 7 seconds left in the game. Not close enough to attempt a game-winning field goal, maybe one last heave. But as Smith stepped out of bounds he was pushed, lightly, by Lavonte David, drawing a 15-yard penalty, pushing the Jets to the 30 and setting up a 48-yard attempt from Nick Folk, a kick he made to win the game 18-17. David said he thought Smith was still in bounds but replays showed Smith's foot touched down on the white line, just before David hit him, a clear penalty. I don't want to hear any defense of David, this was clearly idiotic, there was no way Geno could have gotten in bounds for any more yards, he just couldn't separate himself from the kill the quarterback mentality for even a second, to play it cautiously, and it cost his team the game.

But if I were a Jets fan I wouldn't be too excited about this 1-0 start. There is still a lot of evidence pointing to a very horrible season, but at least Geno Smith played well enough to win, and to hopefully preclude Mark Sanchez from ever playing for the Jets again.

Game of the Week
San Francisco 49ers 34 Green Bay Packers 28
It doesn't always happen that the game we think will be great going in, actually is. Both Rodgers and Kaepernick where throwing the ball all over the field. I'm actually surprised it wasn't even higher scoring.
There was a huge controversial play in this game which very well may have affected the outcome. Second quarter, tied at 7, 49ers have the ball 3rd and 6 from the 10. Kaepernick scrambles and gets taken out by Clay Matthews, clearly out of bounds, and clearly excessively rough. Joe Staley comes in to defend his quarterback and each player is charged with a 15-yard personal foul penalty. The flags offset, but since the fouls occurred after the play, the play should have stood, resulting in a 4th and 2 from the 6. Instead, the referees called for the down to be replayed, and Kaepernick threw a touchdown.
But that should not take away from the 49ers victory or the brilliant performance by Kaepernick. I am so impressed by him. He can run, he can throw, he usually makes the right decisions. He is the reason so many people including myself picked the 49ers to win the Super Bowl this year.

Game of Next Week
Denver Broncos at New York Giants
The Manning Bowl! A full week full of joke about Archie Manning's sperm! These teams combined to score 80 points this week so this should definitely be a shootout, fun to watch.

A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Quite possibly one of the ten worst games any NFL team has ever played (in the first 3 quarters at least).

Cheerleader of the Week
Tara Battiato of the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders
This popular feature is back for this week because of the ass shot everyone is talking about. Perhaps unknowingly Tara bent down and showed her booty (and almost her pussy too) to the NBC camera.

Tara has been on the squad for 5 years thinks to her employer who is understanding about her schedule. Commercial realtor by day, cheerleader by night. She went to Boise State, and is thankful for her education, which was surely important in her landing both of her jobs. She likes Coach K and Michelle Obama and kickball.

Picture of the Week
The Carolina Panthers walk through the tunnel before their game against the Seahawks.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
San Francisco 49ers 31 Denver Broncos 27
I picked this matchup before the season and I have no reason to change my mind now. Both teams pulled off good wins over teams we think are going to be good. Kaepernick and Manning could be a passing of the torch and the dawn of a new type of mobile, but stilling passing, quarterback.

Weekly Picks

A new season a new chance at glory, or more likely to fall victim once again to the unpredictable nature of the NFL.

tampa bay -3 NEW YORK JETS
I think the ExpensiveCornPrices could be good this year but this pick is much more about the Jets sucking than the ECPs being any good.

ST. LOUIS -5 arizona
The Cardinals are another team I think could have a very bad year. I don't have much faith in Carson Palmer to be healthy or good, and I kind of like the Rams to be a frisky playoff contender this year.

cincinnati +3 CHICAGO
Maybe I like Hard Knocks too much, and am looking to hard at an underdog, but I like Andy Dalton and I like the Bengals defense.

kansas city -3 1/2 JACKSONVILLE
I'm not as sold as a lot of people seem to be that the Chiefs will be a good team this year, but I know the Jaguars are going to suck. And I know Alex Smith is a lot better than anyone they've had recently.

BEST BET
SAN FRANCISCO -4 1/2 green bay
The 49ers are probably going to be the best team in the league this year, and though Green Bay is good, they have a lot of holes. I just don't seem them pulling off this upset on the road in Week 1.

Breaking Bad: "Rabid Dog"

Now we're starting to get down to brass tacks, but I still don't see Walt killing Jesse. With all the old yeller, and what's one more talk, and Jesse flipping to Hank, it's way too obvious for Walt to kill Jesse, and it probably would be quite unsatisfying since Jesse is such a beloved character.

I do think that Walt will try to kill Jesse (why else would he contact Todd and his uncle?) but I just don't think it's going to happen.

I saw something interesting on "Talking Bad" Skyler is wearing more light bland colors this year to show she is on the same team was Walt, who dresses that way. I can also presume that is why Hank is wearing purple.

It also said that Lydia would be in next week's episode, and I still can't figure how her and Todd are going to play into things.

And I don't know when the diner and the "52" bacon and the New Hampshire ID and the neighbor who drops the groceries are going to happen either.

And of course, how and on whom does Walt use the ricin he got from behind the outlet cover.

Everything in this episode centered around Walt and Jesse and the will he won't aspect of it. But I think the main thrust of this episode was to introduce other possible killers, Saul, Skyler, Marie, and maybe Jesse. Maybe that was the goal, to open up new possibilities to keep us guessing for four more episodes.

NFL Season Predictions

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals
AFC South: Houston Texans
AFC West: Denver Broncos
AFC Wild Cards: Pittsburgh Steelers, Baltimore Ravens
AFC Championship: Denver Broncos over Houston Texansv
NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC South: New Orleans Saints
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers
NFC Wild Cards: Atlanta Falcons, St. Louis Rams
NFC Championship: San Francisco 49ers over Philadelphia Eagles

Super Bowl; San Francisco 49ers over Denver Broncos

Offensive Player of the Year: Colin Kaepernick
Defensive Player of the Year: JJ Watt
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Tavon Austin
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Barkevious Mingo
Coach of the Year: Chip Kelly
Comeback Player of the Year: Darrelle Revis

Can't Win Em All

I think that should be my motto for 2013: you can't win em all, but if you're lucky, you get to go to a lot of them.
My latest game experience was Syracuse vs. Penn State at the Meadowlands.
Originally I wasn't going to go to this game because neither Billie nor Michael was available and I didn't want to sit with obnoxious Penn State fans like Nails and Jleary. And the cheapest tickets were $75, and they weren't even good seats.
But in the few days before the game a friend of mine who is a Jets season ticket holder got a special offer, seats that were previously $95 and $75 were cut to $20 and $10 (including the fees).
So I got myself a ticket in section 225, second deck, end zone (not corner), 8 rows back. It was actually a pretty good seat.

Nails, who has been planning this tailgate since the day the game was announced, and preparing for such an event his entire life, really went all out. He arrived 5 hours before game time, only because the gates didn't open any earlier. He had two grills, four coolers (3 for drinks, 1 for food), a table full of snacks, a smaller table for drink and a tent to keep out the sun.
He did three separate shopping trips, including one to a German sausage store, and he came back with 6 different kinds of sausage.

A Penn State fan with this much phallic sausage would have been a great target for jokes had I not agreed to a ban on Sandusky jokes as a condition of my invitation.
I ate two different kinds of sausage (and got yelled at by the Concierge by not referring to them by their proper German names), a hamburger, two chicken legs and so much steak (and that was just the first hour) that combined with the heat, I was sweating so much that I actually felt a little light-headed for a few minutes.
Nails brought so much stuff to the tailgate that even after we ate and drank for hours, the car was still packed to the gills after we cleaned up and put everything away for the game.

And that's when the trouble started, the game. I was in a section of mostly Penn State people, though most of them weren't that bad. Unfortunately the one drunk lout in the section was seated right next to me, and his two sons, between ages 7 and 10. Evidently the younger one is better at sports than the older one, because the drunk father spent the entire first half hugging the older one and telling him he can help him be better at sports.
And then he spent the entire second half trying to start a responsive "We Are" "Penn State" chant, to no avail.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Syracuse quarterback Drew Allen is clearly not ready for prime time. And I feel like the coaching staff made the mistake teams make with young, inexperienced QBs often make. They try to make things easy for them and simple, and low-risk, so they run on first and second downs, call basic pass plays to take the pressure off. But then the defense knows what's coming. Penn State did a great job of stopping our running game, which should be really good with Jerome Smith and Prince Tyson Gulley. And when Syracuse did pass, Allen looked at one receiver, and threw to him, whether he was open or not.

Syracuse's defense played great, forcing 4 turnovers, returning the last one to the 1-yard line setting up a score to cut the lead to 23-17 and giving them at least a puncher's chance on too late drives. But the play-calling was awful and Allen wasn't able to make a play.

It's unfortunate that Ross Krautman missed an early field goal, the game could have been entirely different had he made it. And it was even more unfortunate that Penn State's kicker who was almost run off campus last season made all three of his kicks, for which I had a great view.

Bottom line is this: Syracuse is rebuilding, without its head coach and much of its staff from last year, and without the starting QB or a viable replacement. It's bad timing that a new phase of rebuilding before the old rebuilding was completed, but now in a better stronger conference hopefully the blip will be temporary.

And even though we lost to some of the worst most annoying fans in college football, it was a fun day nonetheless.

He Says It Better

There were three general reactions to my post about my poker winnings: some of you (Mrs. Poop) didn't read it because it was too long, some of you (Jems) enjoyed it because it was long and some of you (TallSkott) didn't read it, because it was too long but said you did.
For everyone other than Jems, this is for you. What I conveyed in 1,700 words more eloquently put in 7 words, by Chau Giang:



"Poker is nice. I love play poker."

Song of the Week

"Best of Me" - Tyrese
What a joy it is to be loved by you
My most precious gift, my guardian angel
I believe god sent you here to slow me down
And so whatever it takes, Imma keep you around baby.
I feel like I could conquer the world (with you by my side)
Cause of your unconditional love (baby that's why)
You bring out the best in me, cause you are the best baby.
And if I had to do it again (I'll still choose you girl)
You bring out the best in me, cause you are the best baby.

A Sense of Accomplishment

Ten years ago Chris Moneymaker won the Main Event of the World Series of Poker and started a poker boom. I got swept up in it. I watched every poker show I could find. I read every update of every World Series of Poker event. I follow every well known player on twitter. I had two stints of real money fun while online poker was still legal, the second much more spectacular, and eventually painful than the first. And I had a few mostly losing sessions on the felt in Atlantic City and Las Vegas.
But I always knew I could play this game. I had the math skills, the smarts, the competitiveness and the understanding of game theory. What I didn't have was the emotional makeup to keep my composure at the table (especially online when bad beats are doled out like anonymous insults and no one -- except Mrs. Poop -- is around to hear you scream at the computer) when things went wrong, as they so often do.
Poker is a game of adversity, and the best way to find success is to choose the right playing style and never deviate from it (too much) when you are winning -- or losing, especially losing.
They say you need 10,000 hours doing something before you even have hope of mastering it, and I may have passed that threshold sometime this year.
I went to Foxwoods earlier this year with Mrs. Poop and booked small wins in two cash game sessions. I went to Sands in Bethlehem, PA and booked a triple-digit win a few weeks after that.
And since Mrs. Poop went to Connecticut with the kids and dog for a birthday party and I stayed home to go to Syracuse-Penn State on Saturday, I used my Sunday to head back to the Sands for a few hours of poker.
I won't go through all the hands (though I can, so if you want to hear more of that just e-mail me, I have details of many of them in texts to TallSkott) but I did not get off to a good start. I got sucked out on twice (KQ lost to K8 when an 8 hit the river and A7<10-4 when a ten hit the river to make him a better two pair) and then I got bluffed out of a huge pot (K9 on 3-3-9-K-2 board, he called 15 on the flop, 20 on the turn and I checked to him on the river and he bet 75), all in the first half hour.
I was down to about 65 from my starting stack of 200 and questioning whether I wanted to throw another 100 on top or leave after only an hour.
I don't remember how it happened, except I got aces and kept betting and they kept calling, and I hit a couple other nice hands, but I knew I was playing great. I didn't get exceptionally lucky at any point deep in a hand where I was behind, but I kept folding losers and getting paid on winners.
But before I go any further I want to fill you in on an amazing hand that almost happened. Most poker rooms have something called a bad beat jackpot. It varies but the general concept is, if you have quads and lose, that's good for the jackpot. The money is split 50% to the losing player (the recipient of the bad beat), 25% to the winner, and 25% to split among the other players at the table. I've seen bad beat jackpots of more than $200,000, in this case it was $84,000, and we almost got it. The board was showing Ace-Jack-ten of diamonds, plus some blank, and the river card was another jack. The river action was fast and furious and we were sure someone had pocket jacks and someone else had a flush. For the guy with the flush to be that aggressive on a paired board meant that he at least had the nut flush (king of diamonds and any other diamond), or so we thought but when he turned over 9-8 of diamonds everyone including the dealer gasped. 4 cards to a straight flush, and they other guy had quad jacks.
We didn't get the bad beat jackpot and I didn't even experience another bad beat the rest of the day. Or any beat really. I just kept dumping losing hands and whenever I got something I bet it. As my chip stack started to grow, players starting folding more to my aggression. And as they folded more, I got more aggressive. Eventually with two players leaving (one really good, one really lucky) I became the big stack (double anyone else) and began to assert myself even more.
I was sitting in the 10 seat to the right of the dealer, and right behind the little display that shows all the players' names once their cards have been swiped. I actually liked that spot because of that and because it gave me a little more room without a player on my left.
The only problem was it left my card protector, one of Chase's Lego minfigs (in this case the paintball player who Chase once described as "shooting paint out of his balls"), in the line of fire, dealers pitching the cards were constantly grazing my little talisman, one guy saying "good thing he's wearing a helmet" and a cute Asian female saying "I'm wacking the shit out of that little guy."
My lucky #10 seat also gave me a good vantage point for a near fight. Seats 3 and 4 (Jeffrey and Frank I think) got into it after seat 3 raised to $7 (a raise of $5 since the big blind was $2) and seat 4 tried to call, but grabbed two reds and one white ($11) instead of one red and two whites ($7). We all knew he had made a mistake but the rule says he can't take back his bet because he bet more than half of a min-raise which would have been $5. So he was forced to raise (they made him raise to $14 which was a mistake but got lost in all the excitement) and he was pissed. He yelled at the dealer, saying it was just a mistake and he's dealt to him before and should have known it was a mistake. The dealer told him he knew it was a mistake but it is his job to enforce the rules of the card room which are designed to prevent dealers from having to make such judgment calls. The hand played out uneventfully but while the next hand was being dealt seat 4 continued to bellyache about it. He just wanted to have his say, but seat 3 had heard enough in his ear and told him he'd heard enough and that he was wrong and should stop bitching about it.
Eventually this led a shouting match ("shut up" "what are you going do about it" "shut the fuck up" "you're not gonna do anything you fuckin pussy"), with their faces getting closer and closer. I tried to yell at them, I think I said "hey knock it off guys" (maybe I should have given them the pseudonyms Chase and Julian) but that didn't work and the dealer had to call over the floor. If you've watched enough World Series of Poker you've seen the floor intervene in disputes from time to time and like me you may have noticed that they never try to soothe the situation, they usually just yell louder, threaten and hope to scare the players into behaving. That's exactly what happened here. The floor came over and got right in between the two players who at this time were manager-umpire-bad-call close to each other. He couldn't settle them down so he went to the dealer for an explanation. The dealer didn't include the detail that seat 3 really had done nothing wrong except lacking patience for the ranting lunatic on his left. So the floor went back around the table and screamed at both guys to "squash it" or be ejected from the poker room. At no time did he treat the combatants like valued customers at his establishment. But his aggressive approach worked, as both players calmed immediately and there were no further outbursts. Seat 4 seemed to realize he had overreacted and issued a half-hearted apology which was more like him once again defending his actions.
He didn't say anything else until about half an hour later when I won a big hand with a flopped set of 4s on a scary board (diamond draw) against two players with 2 pair.
He said "this guy doesn't say anything, he just flops sets, and boats (I'd held pocket 5s on an 8-8-5 flop for a sizable pot before the fight) and doesn't say anything, he just sits there and collects."
I just smiled at him and stacked my chips which at this point had ballooned to 6 perfect stacks of 20 red $5 chips.

After about 8 1/2 hours at the table, I decided to leave, one hand too late as I bluffed off about $45 on my last hand with A-5 suited.
Still I booked a profit of $375 and needed two racks to carry all my chips to the cage. And considering all the tips $1 for a winning hand, $2 for a big pot, $3 for the one monster I raked, plus $4 for drinks and $8 for a bowl of soup, including tip (it was freezing in there, never again shorts and t-shirt, never again) I probably won closer to $425.
And the money is nice of course, but the real reward is the pride and the good feelings I got from playing so well, conquering my personal demons of impatience and frustration and battling back from a short stack to become the monster chip leader and table captain. And the realization that something I have devoted many hours to with little or no financial or emotional reward, may finally be starting to pay off.
I may have turned the corner and gone from recreational player with a 50/50 shot of winning depending on the cards, to becoming an excellent player who is no longer gambling, just pushing an edge, because I may actually be pretty good at this.

How Happy Should I Be?

The Washington Redskins just completed a perfect 4-0 preseason. And our starting QB Robert Griffin III didn't take a single snap.
I really want to believe that this shows something special about the defense, or the offensive line and that once RG3 comes back (if he's at full health, a big if) the Redskins would have to be even better.
But then I looked at this list of NFL teams that went undefeated in the preseason.
Last year the Seahawks went 4-0 and it portended a strong season. But the Eagles also went 4-0, and then went 4-12 during the regular season.
Remember the year the Lions went 0-16? They were 4-0 in the preseason that year.
From 2000 - 2012 inclusive, 25 teams went undefeated in exhibition games. 13 of those teams made the playoffs (52%), 2 of those teams won the Super Bowl (8%), both of which are better than the random expectations (37.5%, 3.3%) but hardly a guarantee.
Now I know that this last game against the ExpensiveCornPrices was played entirely by Pat White, a QB who won't even make the team (though he could be first string on the Jets), but the defense only gave up 6 points in 4 quarters, and played similarly well in the other three games.
If the defense is improved and RG3 is healthy, and the team made the playoffs last year, why is another 10-6 season out of the question?
Or am I getting ahead of myself?