Graduation Lists

It's Graduation time and that means if you are a columnist at the DO it's your last chance to write some cheesy article. This year Zach Cohn chose to write the entertaining "44 Things To Do Before You Graduate."
Here's a couple of the better ones, along with my own additional comments:

6. Stare at Baton Girl for two minutes straight

I can barely spin a baton, and this girl can chuck one 30 feet in the air, do a back handspring, eat an entire apple, brush her teeth, do her taxes - and then catch it with her toes.

[Best part of this is that for most of this kid's college experience the Baton Girl was probably Pizza Parlor Keri-Ann.]

15. Happy Hour

I don't know what it is, but beginning the drinking process at 5 p.m. on Friday is a liberating experience. And don't be tricked by the nomenclature, Happy Hour lasts for more than one hour.

[There's a good chance you'll meet a guy you can't stand, then end up hanging out with him for 10 years and on every occassion he will bring up your first words to him, "I don't know you from a bag of dirt."]

22. Beer pong

This one is pretty obvious. You don't have to be the brightest crayon in the box to know beer pong is a good time. It is hands down one of the coolest ways to combine competition, hilarity, hand-eye coordination and drinking.

[I don't even want to think about how much different and how much worse my life would be without beer pong. I'd have no friends, I'd have hated college and I probably wouldn't be married.]

32. Go to Wegman's

I'm not from the East Coast, so I was not aware of the legend of Wegman's when I came here four years ago. But I now understand the hubbub. Every time I shop there, I stand in awe of the ridiculous amount and variety of groceries.

[And if possible go with Anton. He'd knock a tomato (or a peach) off the top of the pyramid and let it roll into his cart. He also bought a new toothbrush every two weeks.]

34. Make a visit to our northern neighbors

I know there's a lot of animosity toward Canada, but it's nice to visit our northern neighbors for a weekend. Montreal has a bunch of snooty French Canadians, but the town is nice and the drinking age is 19, so all you underclassmen can legally drink in peace.

[Never did it. But the stories remain worth re-telling and re-hearing.]

37. Take advantage of the plethora of beautiful women

This might be a slanted opinion because it is coming from the perspective of a heterosexual male, but I can't stress this enough. The ratio at this school is incredible - which makes me wonder why there is still such a high frequency of sausage fests.

[Don't knock sausage fests.]

42. Appreciate the greatness of Jim Boeheim

Jim Boeheim is the man. He's coached the basketballball team for almost 30 years, which is awesome. He owns this town, bleeds Orange and has a hot wife.

[You can tell this guy's college career overlapped with 2003 and his fandom didn't begin as many years before he started at SU as mine did.]

43. Support the Eli Mission (this section was guest written by Jason Fisher, a fellow graduating senior with a special place in his heart for Eli)

I'm sorry, but if you haven't met Eli, your SU experience has not been complete. Eli, of course, is Elijah Harris, Jr., everyone's favorite guitar-toting one-man Marshall Street dance machine. While he has been performing for the SU community for over 20 years, his legend continues to grow. Next time you see Eli playing, singing or dancing, do yourself a serious favor and introduce yourself to this local legend.

[I hated this freakin guy.]