Thursday, June 01, 2006

She Knows the Dangers of Drugs

Lisa Turtle aka Lark Voorhees is suing the National Enquirer for libel. Last year, the rag said that she was hospitalized for cocaine addiction. She claims its not true and has a doctor's note. She also claims the lie cost her acting and hosting jobs.

there's no time, there's never any time
I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so...scared

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:52 PM

    Paul, I'm sure you didn't intend to attribute those lines quoted in the captions to Lisa Turtle. A devoted SBTB fan like yourself no doubt knows they were Jesse Spano lines.

    I always thought Jesse Spano was the least attractive of the women on that show. Thoughts?

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  2. Anonymous2:16 PM

    Jesse Spano got hot ex post facto when she slutted it up for showgirls. I am willing to give her the number one slot if she agrees to do a porno with Mr. Belding called "Screwed by the Belding," during which she engages in a diet pill induced gang bang with screech and Max

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  3. Reissberg, of course I didn't include those lines as a means of attributing them to her. It was a drug story, so I wanted to recall the hard lessons she learned about drug use.

    Jesse Spano was the least attractive of the three female leads.

    As The Concierge suggests, she passed Lisa Turtle when she slutted it up for Showgirls and memorably slept with Al Pacino for money in "Any Given Sunday." Her meteoric rise however was thwarted by Tiffani Thiessen shedding her good girl image (but never all her clothes) for some edgier characters. Kelly Kapowski also got breast implants, Jesse Spano believes in women's lib too much for that.

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  4. The gayest angle ever was when Max did magic tricks. I wish he would have made himself disappear.

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