Paulo's Book Club: "Boys Will be Boys"

"'Charles used to beat off in meetings while talking graphically about players' wives...It got to the point of ejaculation."

And Charles Haley is just one of the interesting character Jeff Pearlman introduces us to in "Boys Will be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty."



The book’s central character is Michael Irvin. His arrival coincided with the team’s ascent and his demise mirrored the organization’s fall. Irvin is portrayed as the playground bully. If you didn’t follow him he punched you in the face, but if you stuck with him he’d give you the two hottest groupies in the bar, before choosing the ones he was taking to his room to perform lesbian sex shows. Irvin was the central protagonist, defining the Cowboys with his arrogance and his party hard, play harder ethos. It was Irvin who took over the Cowboys charity basketball team, Irvin who was among those behind the White House and Irvin who fractured the team when he stabbed offensive line Everett McIver in the neck with scissors.

Aside from Irvin, the action in the book revolves around Jerry Jones and his two coaches. Jimmy Johnson is portrayed as a dick who cuts players just to send a message to his team. He treated everyone like shit and wanted all the credit for the team’s success. And that’s what pissed off Jerry Jones who thought anyone could win the Super Bowl with his team, and that’s exactly what Barry Switzer did. But Switzer is portrayed as a bad coach, who delegated everything and never disciplined anyone (with good reason, as you’ll learn) though the lack of discipline is what’s blamed for bringing down the Cowboys dynasty.

Troy Aikman is the golden boy who got pissed when his teammates weren’t working hard enough. Emmitt Smith is a minor player who his teammates hated because he only cared about his stats. Deion Sanders was a lazy hired gun who refused to tackle during practice or study film during meetings. And Alvin Haper was Freaky Harp, banging more groupies than anyone.

But that’s about it as far as lascivious details go. There are no great stories of unusual sex-capades with cadres of groupies. Just mentions that just being a Cowboy was enough to get any of the long-legged, large breasted women in Dallas to want to sleep with you, even if you were a backup safety. And the Cowboys loved their drugs and women just as much as the women loved them.

And eventually it became their downfall.

This book is a definite read for any sports fan who remembers those Cowboy teams (with envy or with fondness) and enjoys getting a real look at athletes (Pearlman pulls no punches, insulting even some of the guys who were his best sources) and the lives they lead off the field.