I have never worked as a waiter or held any other job in a restaurant but I like rules, espcially ones that only sticklers follow. Other than that I can't really explain why I enjoyed the New York Times's list of 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do.
I recommend reading the entire list but for those of you with ADHD (Juice and the Juicette) here are some selected favorites with my own commentary.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
I would go to the movies, even to sporting events alone, but I would never eat out alone. Isn't that why they invented takeout. Even so, I can see how "are you waiting for someone?" is a bad question to ask.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
Keep your grubby fingers away from where I put my mouth.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
This would never happen with me but seems like a good idea for the oenophiles among the Poopheads.
38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
I guess that would make singing "Dude Looks Like a Lady" a double no-no. I can see the prohibition on "dude", especially at a classy place, but what's wrong with lady? I actually prefer it to woman, and I think most ladies would prefer it to ma'am.
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
I say no problem all the time but I'm working hard on using "you're welcome" instead.
62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.
This one's for The Concierge.
73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.
As someone who orders soup nearly everywhere I go, this one is particularly close to my heart. Though I can say it doesn't happen too often. But I think this rule may have been inspired by the old joke. "taste the soup -- ah-cha."
I loved this post. I can't stand the trend of making customers feel guilty about settling for "just" tap or flat water.
ReplyDeleteI also like the no-cursing rule. In Vegas at a very high end Italian place my friend asked about the eggplant special, and the waiter said "it's fucking insane." I guess he figured it was a group of relatively young guys but we all laughed because of how inappropriate it seemed. He was otherwise an awesome waiter but that line really stuck with me.
I really enjoyed reading this list, because I feel that it can pertain to all types of occupations --- and to life in general.
ReplyDeleteThe ones that hit home for me are:
15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
They missed one. My #1 pet peeve at restaurants is when you unintentionally order too much food (not intentionally because you put the Concierge and Nails in charge of ordering) and the serve neglects to inform you that the portions are huge and it might be too much.
ReplyDeletenever too much food for Nails
ReplyDeleteThere is one about not letting a guest double-order. I always get pissed when I order soup then realize later that I could have gotten soup with my meal if I decided not to get a salad which I probably won't eat anyway.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of soup Paul?
ReplyDeleteIf it was lobster bisque than TallScott can't touch it apparantly....right TON
ReplyDelete