Cruel Things to Do to Rookies

When I posted the picture of Jason Heyward after his shaving cream pie in the face Mrs. Poop remarked she had never seen that done before.
Then I suggested maybe Mets rookie first baseman Ike Davis would earn the same treatment. After going 2 for 4 in his major league debut that's exactly what happened to Ike Davis though Mrs. Poop insists his shaving cream was delivered in a shirt, not a pie tin.



Another form of rookie hazing occurs with the ball which the rookie wants to give to his mom as a keepsake. What invariably happens is the ball is thrown to the first base coach, who hands it to the excited rookie who inspects it and hands it back. The ball is then tossed into the dugout. Then a wily veteran who appears to be unaware of what's going on picks up the ball, then adroitly switches it with a decoy ball which he tosses into the stands in an effort to scare the unsuspecting rookie who in his excitement may have been unaware of the veteran's cruel legerdemain.

The Mets chose not to play this particular trick on Ike Davis. Instead the Mets equipment man affixed a sticker to the ball and marked it as Davis's first hit.

Other ways veterans bust a rookie's balls (so to speak) include after the game giving the rookie an old beat-up ball, or writing on a ball "Dear Mom, this the ball I used to get my first fucking major league win/hit."



Razor Shines takes it easy on the kid, giving him a congratulatory first bump.



Mrs. Poop's favorite form of rookie hazing comes later in the season, usually September when more rookies are called up, when Davis and other rookies will be forced to don ridiculous costumes for a road trip like when the Yankees make Joba Chamberlain and others perform a traveling version of Wizard of Oz.