Paulo's Book Club: "Real Men Don't Say Splendid"

"Real Men Don't Say Splendid: A Lexicon of Unmanliness" is a silly little book that literally takes all of 10 minutes to read cover to cover.
But if you love words the way I do, it's a funny 10 minutes.



Simple premise: it lists 99 words real men should never say under any circumstances and it gives sentences for each one.

A large portion of the words are only used by gay men and gossip magazine writers: Canoodling, Preggers, Galpal, Chic, Elegant, Nuptials and the homosexual standard, Fabulous

There's also quite a few words Mrs. Poop uses on a regular basis which is ok because she's a girl: adorable, comfy, cuddle, snuggle, dilly-dally and scoot.
If Chase and I are laying in bed and she wants to get in she might say "you guys look comfy but can you scoot so I can snuggle and cuddle with you."

The word golly might have been added after the author saw me at a goyisha wedding because the accompanying sentence is: Golly, that's a lot of shrimp for one person.

Seinfeld perfectly captured the essence of this book when saying he didn't want to carry the chocolate babka to the party because standing at the door holding a box by a little string is a "tad dainty." Both those words are in the book.

A few other good examples from the book that I absolutely agree no real man should ever use: fancy, heartthrob, mingle (especially as in "I'm single and ready to mingle"), glamorous and hunk.

But a few of the entries I really don't understand their inclusion:
Boobies: Sometimes you have to talk about tits but you can't call them tits, boobs or boobies is the best alternative here.

Giggle: I don't know a good synonym to describe this type of laughter.

Oops: What else are you supposed to say when you make a mistake?

Shimmy: Only acceptable when quoting Major League 2: "Parkman is doing that little shimmy, it makes the women here in Cleveland wanna puke."

Tasty: Once again a manly movie quote "MMMM, this is a tasty burger."

Panties: There is a manly way to say this "She wasn't wearing any panties dawg."

In place of those I word have added: drafty, duvet, draperies and exquisite