This is Not a Joke

The other night while driving to work at 3:30 AM I was traveling in the center lane on Route 4. A car zips past me in the left lane. I was doing low 60s, I estimate this car was doing at least 80.
I saw it was a cop car and wondered where it was going that fast. And I then surmised if there had been a real emergency it would have had its lights on.
I was able to follow its tail lights, since no one else was on the road and saw it pull into its final destination: Dunkin Donuts.
What a cliche.

I Hope I Don't Jinx Myself

I can't hold it in any longer. For years I have been play Beat the Streak on mlb.com. The object is simple, pick one player everyday (no restrictions) and build a hitting streak. If your guy doesn't get a hit that day, your streak is over.

My longest streak prior to this year was 11 games. Right now I am riding a 15-game hitting streak.
I know I am still 41 games short of Joe DiMaggio but the prize for passing him and getting to 57 games is $5.6m.
And I am nearly halfway to this season's longest streak of 31 games.
So I know it's early, and I am not counting my chickens, I just thought it would be fun to share my streak, my selections and have you cheer along with me.

Tonight's selection is Prince Fielder because he is facing John Lackey who has a 7.41 ERA and a .297 batting average against.

This Had to Happen

If ever there were two things destined to be brought together by the Universe, they had to be Samuel L. Jackson and "Go the Fuck to Sleep."



Note: audible keeps taking down the videos

Jim Walsh Has Fallen on Hard Times

James Eckhouse apparently has been unable to find much work after his stint as Jim Walsh, Brandon and Brenda's father, on Beverly Hills, 90210 ended.
He's now slumming in a V8 commercial.

Funny or Douchey?

Karl Stefanovic, anchor of Australia's version of the Today Show, recently scored an interview with the Dalai Lama.
And this is what he did with it:



The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "can you make me one with everything?"

Ok, I think we can all agree the result leans towards douchey, but just grade him on the attempt please. I thought it was quite a funny joke to tell the Dalai Lama.

The part about him not being fluent in English is what ruined it.

Song of the Week

"Pass Out" - Tinie Tempah
Not sure why I like this, but I kind of do.

Why I Do What I Do

I was recently asked an interesting question (and the answer was important because my boss was the one asking), why are you in this business?

I said "because I like telling stories."

And that's essentially what I like about my job.

And it's what I love about this blog.

Yes, there are a lot of posts I just throw together very quickly and don't put much thought into. I don't have an editor and I don't pore over sentences for typos (as many of you have pointed out). And in most cases I don't even proofread to make sure I am not committing the same grammatical infractions I make fun of people for in everyday life.

And that doesn't include the posts when I just google image a hot chick and slap up five bikini pictures.

But there are some posts that matter to me a little more. There's a story out there, a hot topic, and there's so many angles to it. And many of you don't have time -- and don't get paid -- to read all the various reports and sort fact from fiction.

It's those posts I take the most pride in. I want them to be thorough so you know every single essential detail. But I don't want them to be so long you get bored reading them.

For instance, the first post on Anthony Weiner (which got a huge number of comments which I always appreciate), the Lance Armstrong post (though I got a huge assist from Wikipedia), the Wilpon defense (this one was even harder because almost all of you who had enough interest to read my post also had enough interest to read the original article. So I had to explain, and offer unique insight) and finally, my personal favorite, the Dominique Strauss-Kahn if she ain't bitin ain't fightin post.

It's in those posts when I'm being entertaining, amusing and informative all at the same time that I am doing what I was put on this Earth to do: tell people stories.

Music to Pluck To

The laws of kashrut (keeping kosher) require animals to be treated humanely. So when the goyim dump their freshly killed chickens into boiling hot water, Jews don't do that because the animal can still feel it. The downside is, kosher chickens have many more feathers than non-kosher chickens. Because the scalding hot water helps the automatic pickers remove the feathers much easier.

The point of all this is, it's quite a painstaking process to clean a kosher chicken for cooking and eating. This is especially true of chicken wings. It's a near impossibility to get all the feathers off, but each time I typically spend half an hour plucking feathers and singing to myself.

Which is a better song to sing while plucking chicken wings?

"Pretty Wings" - Maxwell



"Take These Broken Wings" - Mr. Mister