There is a war going on outside, and none of us are safe. It’s the war on Christmas.
Here are the warring factions: On one side you have the people who don’t celebrate Christmas and are offended when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them. On the other side you have the people who do celebrate Christmas and get offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” to them.
Both sides are nuts. But they have gone so far that people in the middle are starting to get dragged into this and getting aggravated.
Acceptable: calling a school's concert the "Winter Show" or "Holiday Show."
Not acceptable: At the winter show, having the children perform a rousing rendition of "I'm dreaming of a white holiday."
Acceptable: a civic building having a display containing artifacts from several religions
Not acceptable: a civic building having a "holiday" tree
Here is what should happen: everyone should calm the fuck down. People should stop getting offended so easily. If you go to a store and the person at the door says "happy holidays" you should reply "Merry Christmas" if you are so inclined. If you are a Jewish/atheist/Muslim and someone says "Merry Christmas", smile and reply "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" or "Joyous Kwanzaa" if you feel snarky.
If your child's school or town's municipal building has a display that only includes Christmas, kindly suggest a menorah be added.
This is a joyous time of year and we shouldn't ruin it by complaining that our particular religion doesn't get the attention it deserves.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Weekly Picks
I don't even know what to say anymore.
houston -6 INDIANAPOLIS
Didn't think a team that lost 13 straight would win two in a row. I already got this one wrong. By the way, it's the first time a 1-win team beat a team with 10 wins. I thought TJ Yates was good.
NEW ENGLAND -9 1/2 miami
Brady had the offense going against the Broncos. If they can score in the 30s the Dolphins won't be able to keep up.
cleveland +12 1/2 BALTIMORE
The Ravens got smoked by San Diego. For some reason I like the Browns to keep this close even though Baltimore needs this game for seeding.
tampa bay +7 1/2 CAROLINA
The Panthers shouldn't be giving more than a touchdown to anyone.
BEST BET
denver -2 1/2 BUFFALO
Denver will win by a field goal. Glad this spread moved half a point so I could take it without risking a push.
Last Week: 2-3 (1 point1)
Season: 34-41 (10 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-9)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (15-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (10-11)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (9-10)
houston -6 INDIANAPOLIS
Didn't think a team that lost 13 straight would win two in a row. I already got this one wrong. By the way, it's the first time a 1-win team beat a team with 10 wins. I thought TJ Yates was good.
NEW ENGLAND -9 1/2 miami
Brady had the offense going against the Broncos. If they can score in the 30s the Dolphins won't be able to keep up.
cleveland +12 1/2 BALTIMORE
The Ravens got smoked by San Diego. For some reason I like the Browns to keep this close even though Baltimore needs this game for seeding.
tampa bay +7 1/2 CAROLINA
The Panthers shouldn't be giving more than a touchdown to anyone.
BEST BET
denver -2 1/2 BUFFALO
Denver will win by a field goal. Glad this spread moved half a point so I could take it without risking a push.
Last Week: 2-3 (1 point1)
Season: 34-41 (10 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-9)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (15-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-3)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (10-11)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (9-10)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The NFL is Poop - Week 15
Wonders Never Cease
So the amazing Tim Tebow 6-game winning streak is over. But I'm actually more impressed with the Broncos offense now than I was before. They totally dominated the Patriots on their first two drives. Problem was, the defense, which had supposedly been carrying them, couldn't stop the Patriots at all. And when Denver fumbled 3 times (something that hadn't done) the game was pretty much over. But I fully expect Denver to win at Buffalo and against the Chiefs, bringing them to 10-6 and winning the West. That would likely put them in a first round matchup against the Ravens or Steelers. A game they can win if they run the ball, kill the clock and avoid turnovers.
They Must Have Hated Todd Haley
The Chiefs ended the Packers run at a perfect season with a 19-14 victory. The timing was particularly bad for former coach Todd Haley because it came a week after he got fired. After a 3-game losing streak (outscored 109-27) to start the season, and another 4-gamer in the middle (outscored 95-25) the Chiefs actually have a chance to make the playoffs if they can win their final two games (Oakland, at Denver) and get some help.
But I wouldn't worry about the Packers. Every team has a bad game, even Aaron Rodgers is off sometimes. They are still nearly guaranteed the 1-seed in the playoffs and a very likely return trip to the Super Bowl.
There's Goes Peyton Manning's MVP Trophy
There was lots of talk -- none of it to be taken seriously -- that Peyton Manning should win the MVP Award because the Colts were so good with him and so horrible without him. Maybe that will die down now that the great Dan Orlovsky led the Colts to their first win of the season.
Every Underdog Has Its Day
The Chiefs, Colts, Redskins and Panthers all won on Sunday, and all of them were underdogs by at least 6 points. It just goes to prove what I always say, underdogs that cover win 75% of the time. It's a crazy mixed-up world when shit like this happens, but it's why they say "on any given Sunday."
And He Won a Super Bowl
Drew Brees needs only 304 yards total in his last two games to break Dan Marino's record for most passing yards in a season. In the 12 seasons since Marino retired he's been passed for most of his significant records, this one will be his last. And an even bigger insult to Marino, Brees has a Super Bowl ring.
Brief Rant About the Redskins
If the Redskins had to go 2-14 in a season I'd be ok with it, if both wins were against the Giants. So I guess I have to be happy with this. It does feel good to really hurt the Giants playoff chances, unfortunately the Cowboys stand to benefit. This game once again shows what I've been saying about the Redskins, you need to force turnovers to win.
Picture of the Week
Gruesome injury for Bears WR Johnny Knox. You can see him get bent backwards. Knox suffered a cracked facet joint, one of the components that keeps the spinal column stable. He needed back surgery but he could be ready to return to football next season.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 70 New England Patriots 63
If these two teams match up they could easily set the record for most points in a Super Bowl, 69. The Packers may break the record on their own.
So the amazing Tim Tebow 6-game winning streak is over. But I'm actually more impressed with the Broncos offense now than I was before. They totally dominated the Patriots on their first two drives. Problem was, the defense, which had supposedly been carrying them, couldn't stop the Patriots at all. And when Denver fumbled 3 times (something that hadn't done) the game was pretty much over. But I fully expect Denver to win at Buffalo and against the Chiefs, bringing them to 10-6 and winning the West. That would likely put them in a first round matchup against the Ravens or Steelers. A game they can win if they run the ball, kill the clock and avoid turnovers.
They Must Have Hated Todd Haley
The Chiefs ended the Packers run at a perfect season with a 19-14 victory. The timing was particularly bad for former coach Todd Haley because it came a week after he got fired. After a 3-game losing streak (outscored 109-27) to start the season, and another 4-gamer in the middle (outscored 95-25) the Chiefs actually have a chance to make the playoffs if they can win their final two games (Oakland, at Denver) and get some help.
But I wouldn't worry about the Packers. Every team has a bad game, even Aaron Rodgers is off sometimes. They are still nearly guaranteed the 1-seed in the playoffs and a very likely return trip to the Super Bowl.
There's Goes Peyton Manning's MVP Trophy
There was lots of talk -- none of it to be taken seriously -- that Peyton Manning should win the MVP Award because the Colts were so good with him and so horrible without him. Maybe that will die down now that the great Dan Orlovsky led the Colts to their first win of the season.
Every Underdog Has Its Day
The Chiefs, Colts, Redskins and Panthers all won on Sunday, and all of them were underdogs by at least 6 points. It just goes to prove what I always say, underdogs that cover win 75% of the time. It's a crazy mixed-up world when shit like this happens, but it's why they say "on any given Sunday."
And He Won a Super Bowl
Drew Brees needs only 304 yards total in his last two games to break Dan Marino's record for most passing yards in a season. In the 12 seasons since Marino retired he's been passed for most of his significant records, this one will be his last. And an even bigger insult to Marino, Brees has a Super Bowl ring.
Brief Rant About the Redskins
If the Redskins had to go 2-14 in a season I'd be ok with it, if both wins were against the Giants. So I guess I have to be happy with this. It does feel good to really hurt the Giants playoff chances, unfortunately the Cowboys stand to benefit. This game once again shows what I've been saying about the Redskins, you need to force turnovers to win.
Picture of the Week
Gruesome injury for Bears WR Johnny Knox. You can see him get bent backwards. Knox suffered a cracked facet joint, one of the components that keeps the spinal column stable. He needed back surgery but he could be ready to return to football next season.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Green Bay Packers 70 New England Patriots 63
If these two teams match up they could easily set the record for most points in a Super Bowl, 69. The Packers may break the record on their own.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Getting Carted Off
Several people injured when a cart (the kind that normally takes injured players to the locker room) went out of control, despite no driver being aboard. You gotta keep your eye on the guy in blue who got run over but held onto the wheel and was steering it while it was careening recklessly. Good job by the guy who finally jumped on and was able to stop it.