Extreme Makeover: Paulo Edition

Due to a bout of indifference stemming from my job-borne frustration, I grew my normal winter beard, but instead of keeping it neat and trim as I normally do, I let it grow wild and unruly until I looked Hasidic. But because I am starting a new job, and you never get a second chance to make a first impression (I'm going to do my George W. Bush), I had to cut my hair, shave my beard and trim the goatee portion of my facial hair. This massive transformation took place over the course of about 15 minutes in my kitchen and bathroom.