Thursday, October 02, 2014
Contrasting Styles
Chase and Julian have the same parents. They have grown up in the same house with the same rules. Yet somehow nature and nurture have turned them into two completely different kids.
Chase is shier, eager to please and sensitive. Julian is a bull who doesn't give a fuck.
Chase is quiet, Julian is loud.
Chase has brown hair and brown eyes. Julian is blonde with blue eyes.
Chase is small (though this is a more recent development), Julian is a giant among 4-year olds.
When Chase falls down (such as on the way to the school dance) he cries for a long time (30 minutes in the school dance incident). When Julian falls down, he says "I'm ok" before he even hits the ground. Once he said "I'm ok" before assessing the situation, and after a few seconds of silence he realized that he wasn't ok, and he started to cry.
Mrs. Poop gave them pennies to throw into a fountain. Later they told us what they wished for. Chase wished for a modest $28 toy. Julian wished that there would be no more rules.
In one incident Julian got his finger stuck under the booster seat attached to his chair. He very calmly told me his finger was stuck. Too calmly. I didn't act with necessary urgency. When I got his finger unstuck and he saw it was cut and red, he cried hysterically. Chase gave him a toy to make him feel better.
My favorite story about Chase's easy-going nature is from Tali's birthday party several years ago. A man was giving the kids temporary tattoos. Each time he warned the children that the water would be very cold. Chase replied "I love cold water."
Now, I'm not saying Juju would have decked the guy, but he certainly wouldn't have been as accepting of freezing cold water on his arm.
I could go on forever about the differences between them (which in general are great, I am glad they are unique and distinct individuals) but I think I will leave it here.
This is a picture of Chase being scared on a roller-coaster.
And this is a picture of Julian being scared on a roller-coaster.
Great post
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me you're experiencing something similar, BC.
ReplyDeleteYes, great post Paul. I'm always interested in how being the older versus younger sibling tends to play a role in developing personalities. Of course there are many exceptions, but Chase and Julian seem to mesh with the general stereotype of older siblings being quieter and more reserved while younger ones are more audacious and loud.
ReplyDeleteMy brother and I also definitely fit that mold. One time Mrs. Iervese was scolding Big Kev for misbehaving and she said "your brother is a gentleman and a scholar and never acted like this." I wish I had been there to see it in person.
While I don't have the same version of your story, kid 1 and kid 2 are definitely going in different directions for sure. My theory...parents raise kid #1 100%...but parents only raise kid #2 about 60%. The other 40% is kid #2.
ReplyDeleteI agree with ton. It seems that parents are generally much more relaxed with kid 2 because they've been through it all before, and I think that rubs off on the child as well.
ReplyDeleteMy brother said that something like 90% of his friends in high school were younger siblings. I had plenty of younger sibling friends for sure (including ton and paul and other poopheads) but I'd say a solid 2/3 of my friends were older siblings.
I've spoken with a lot of parents about this and it seems pretty consistent, though not absolutely true in all cases.
ReplyDeleteThe first-born tends to be more of a people pleaser. Whenever I see a real type-A perfectionist at my job I assume that person is the oldest of 2 or 3.
The second child, tends to be more wild and reckless, and even selfish, less concerned about following the rules.
The biggest cause, as TON indicated is likely that the parents relax a little bit and give the second child more space, as well as, the second child has the first child as a role model. Whereas the first child probably was around adults almost exclusively for at least a year or two.