The Best Thing Someone in a Mets Hat Has Done All Year

Joe Garcia of Spring, Texas was saved from the floodwaters of Hurricane Harvey by a rescue boat.
First, he loaded some belongings onto the boat, then turned back for one more prized possession, his German Shepherd, Heidi.

The Search is Over

After years of looking for the best gore and scouring pictures of bull fights and the Running of the Bulls for pictures of people with bullhorns lodged in uncomfortable places.
We don't need to bother anymore. Here is the best (worst?) we should ever hope to see:

Matador Antonio Romero got an 11-inch bull horn right up the ass.
He needed full rectal reconstruction.

I guess he never saw "The Breakfast Club."

The World Just Got Less Colorful

Craig Sager dies at the age of 65 after a long battle with leukemia.

Circle the 6 Differences Between These Two Pictures

Chase was a little version of daddy. Nine years later, Lincoln wore the same shirt. See if you can spot the other differences in these pictures?

Note: don't really, do that, I'm only kidding. There's a million of them.

I Get To Do Cool Things

Three years ago I was lucky enough to attend a Mets game and spend pre-game on the field, and take one of my favorite pictures ever, with Mr. and Mrs. Met.
The experience I had before Friday's game against the Twins was even better. Thanks to the dogged persistence of a friend we were invited for a behind-the-scenes tour of the stadium by the Mets PR team.

We entered at the Hodges gate, where right through that door is the press room where we often see Terry Collins discussing Mets injuries.

From there we were led down a back hallway, where the clubhouse is. And at the moment we passed by, Brandon Nimmo emerged on his way to the video room.

He stopped and chatted with us briefly about money and investing and the rapid depreciation of expensive automobiles.

To our left in that hallway is the batting cage where players can take some in-game cuts.

Lined up along the walls, where the bats and other equipment for every Met.

And in the best part of it all, we were led out onto the field, THROUGH THE DUGOUT!!!!!

Don't I look happy?

We were offered a piece of Major League gum. I brought two pieces home for the boys, who were initially unimpressed until they realized, that later that day the Mets had stuck their hands in that same bucket. They asked if the Mets get a new bucket of gum every day. I said yes. They decided the Mets must be rich to afford new gum.
They chewed it and decided it tasted better than the regular dubble bubble available to the public.

After a few more moments sitting on the dugout bench, and taking pictures we were escorted onto the field to enjoy batting practice.
Unfortunately, the Mets had concluded and the Twins were hitting (Kennys Vargas hit some bombs).

After a while we were asked to leave the field and head back to our seats, which we purchased ourselves, which explains the view from the 500 level.

But from that vantage point I got to see a masterpiece from Bartolo Colon, back to back homers from Jose Reys and Asdrubal Cabrera, and a 3-0 Mets win, topping off another memorable experience I was fortunate enough to enjoy. Note: Please forgive the lousy way this displays. I wanted pictures to be as big as possible, which doesn't work well with this template. For best experience click on the first picture and use the viewer to peruse them all.

Another Thing JJ Watt and I Have in Common

I've been coaching Chase's youth baseball team this season and one day the other team decided not to show up. So we improvised and played parents versus kids. I planned to run have speed station-to-station, but I got up and ripped one to center, as I rounded first, the ball was rolling down a hill in the outfield so I decided to turn on the jets and try for a home run.

And boom! I felt something pull in the back of my right leg. I did get the home run, but a few days later I was left with this nasty bruise on the back of my leg.

It didn't hurt to the touch, but it felt tight for about two weeks afterwards.

When it finally healed, I decided to teach the kids a lesson about base running and not throwing the ball all over the field once a runner had already reached base. I took off running to first and felt that same feeling again, only this time in the other leg.

This incident reminded me of an old post from when JJ Watt suffered a similar injury.

It's still not clear what happened to him, whether he suffered a pulled muscle or it's just a horrible bruise, the type you could possibly sustain if a large man falls on top of you in the wrong way. But I am sure he handled it with the same toughness and I exhibited with mine.

Never Gets Old

Here he is, Lincoln Diesel
Born 5/24/16 at 10:23 am
Weighing at 10 pounds 4 ounces and standing 21 and a quarter inches tall

Even though this is the third time we've done it, it doesn't get less exciting or less cool.
It may even be more fun because we have the added dimension of the big brothers and their excitement.
Also the nerves and fears you have with your first are basically gone by the time you get to number 3.
Plus, research shows third kids usually turn out the best.

Cespedes Isn't Cheap Either

For $27m the Mets bought themselves a power-hitting outfielder with a rocket arm.
Yoenis Cespedes turned around and spent a lot of that money and fancy cars and motorcycles (kinda), showing up for the first week of spring training in a different one every day.

Starting with a customized Polaris slingshot

Then it was a Lamborghini Aventador which allegedly spits fire out of the exhaust pipes like the Batmobile. He reported let a Mets staffer drive it to go get waffles.
The car reportedly costs more than $400,000.

Next up, an Alfa Romeo Competizione, which costs $250,000 and had been driven around by Wilmer Flores.

But those cars are so impractical, he needs something more down-to-earth, like this Jeep. Which after all the modifications (done by a company called "Avorza" whose name appears on several of these vehicles) cost a mere $80,000.

And then there's his Ford F-250 truck which had $30,000 of upgrades done by Avorza.

And finally, Cespedes rolled up in another Slingshot, this one likely for days when he's feeling down, because it's painted blue, as opposed to red.

Great Way to Spend a Saturday

And if I took a picture now, 24 hours later, it would be back to what it looked like "before"

Happy Recap: Mets 9 Royals 3

The Mets bats finally woke up!

Huge home runs by Wright and Granderson.

This game started like the others ended with the Mets making mistakes and the Royals slapping hits all over the field.

Then Syndergaard finally got some swinging strikeouts and cruised for long enough for the Mets hitters to get some hits and the Royals to make a mistake the Mets had been making.

Franklin Morales gets the ground ball he needs, but has no idea what to do with it. Funny thing is, they ruled it a fielder's choice. If he had made that bad throw to second right away, it would have been an error. But because he waited and then made a bad throw, it's not an error?

Conforto throwing out Gordon in the second inning was a huge out as it turned out. The Royals could really have broken the game open.

But Conforto has been hitting so poorly and Lagares so well, I think Lagares needs to start, even against right-handers. Also, this is just a really awesome picture of Lagares sliding in with the 6th run of the game.

Funny thing is, even with a 9-3 win, two of the Royals runs were still gifts, the botched double play by the two giants (Syndergaard and Duda) and then a wild pitch that d'Arnaud couldn't find.

The opening pitch by Alcides Escobar is not nearly as big a deal as everyone is making it out to be. I'm sure the Mets just knew he had been jumping on every first pitch and Noah wanted to make him uncomfortable. And Harold Reynolds is dumb as shit for saying it "woke the Royals up." First of all, it's the World Series. They don't need to be woken up. Second, they did exactly what they did for the first two games. I hate dumb "analysis" like that. Just words that mean nothing but are so abstract they can't be disproven. And people actually buy into it.

I don't agree with pitching Familia in the 9th. The next two games are must wins for the Mets. And using him for an inning with a 6-run lead could possibly limit his effectiveness or ability to pitch two innings in one or both of the next two games.

While this was a good first step, the Mets are still along way from having a real shot to win this series. They must win both of the remaining games and CitiField.

And they are not going to do it if Cespedes, Conforto and Wilmer don't get some hits. And postseason hero, Murphy has joined them in having a horrible World Series.

3000 Cars

This is the fleet of cars required for Saudi Arabia's King Salman's visit to Washington:

Gilbert Can Shoot, We Know That

Gilbert Arenas won too many prizes at the basketball shooting game at the Orange County Fair and was not allowed to play any further.

I hope he let each of his kids pick a favorite one or two and immediately drove the rest to a children's hospital.

Where Was ThePoop When the Lights Went Out?

In the dark. The lights briefly went out in my office (though the computers stayed on) when a 20-year old woman lost control of her car, took out a utility pole and the transformers exploded.

The car was engulfed in flames but some brave policemen pulled the driver from the burning car.

Amazingly she escaped with injuries that weren't considered serious.

Look at that car, she is lucky to be alive never mind not permanently disfigured. None of the rescuers were injured.

Mrs. Poop is So Immature

Mrs. Poop asked me to take this picture of her in front of Animal Kingdom at Disney World.

Contrasting Styles

Chase and Julian have the same parents. They have grown up in the same house with the same rules. Yet somehow nature and nurture have turned them into two completely different kids.
Chase is shier, eager to please and sensitive. Julian is a bull who doesn't give a fuck.
Chase is quiet, Julian is loud.
Chase has brown hair and brown eyes. Julian is blonde with blue eyes.
Chase is small (though this is a more recent development), Julian is a giant among 4-year olds.
When Chase falls down (such as on the way to the school dance) he cries for a long time (30 minutes in the school dance incident). When Julian falls down, he says "I'm ok" before he even hits the ground. Once he said "I'm ok" before assessing the situation, and after a few seconds of silence he realized that he wasn't ok, and he started to cry.

Mrs. Poop gave them pennies to throw into a fountain. Later they told us what they wished for. Chase wished for a modest $28 toy. Julian wished that there would be no more rules.

In one incident Julian got his finger stuck under the booster seat attached to his chair. He very calmly told me his finger was stuck. Too calmly. I didn't act with necessary urgency. When I got his finger unstuck and he saw it was cut and red, he cried hysterically. Chase gave him a toy to make him feel better.

My favorite story about Chase's easy-going nature is from Tali's birthday party several years ago. A man was giving the kids temporary tattoos. Each time he warned the children that the water would be very cold. Chase replied "I love cold water." Now, I'm not saying Juju would have decked the guy, but he certainly wouldn't have been as accepting of freezing cold water on his arm.

I could go on forever about the differences between them (which in general are great, I am glad they are unique and distinct individuals) but I think I will leave it here.

This is a picture of Chase being scared on a roller-coaster.

And this is a picture of Julian being scared on a roller-coaster.

Kliq920: Then and Now

We went back 15 years later (with a lot more gray hair and pounds) to create this picture in front of our old stomping grounds. 8 of the original 11 were there, with 2 others added.

Enjoy Your Drink Clint

There was an amazing list of Starbucks spelling mistakes, many of which were not to be believed (no matter what they think they heard no barista is writing Vagina or Anus on someone's coffee cup) but this one, totally reasonable to believe it actually happened had me in absolute hysterics.

See you next Tuesday, Clint.

That's Gonna Leave a Mark

Hockey can be a dangerous game. There are angry guys with sticks shooting frozen rubber discs at up to 100 miles an hour. And oh yeah, they are wearing very sharp skates on their feet.
Every once in a while one of those skates cuts someone.
That's what happened to Sebastian Courcelles during a Ligue Nord-Americaine de Hockey (LNAH) game in Quebec.

Warning: if you have a vagina you will probably not want to see this picture.

But don't worry, 50 stitches later, they fixed Courcelles up real nice, you can hardly tell.

Egad! That almost looks worse.

Kind of makes players who don't want to wear visors seem pretty dumb. Even though it might not necessarily have helped in this particular case.

Story found by Billy