Behind the Numbers

I love looking at exit polls to see which groups and topics that haven't gotten much attention are interesting.

First, the Jews: 69% to Obama, 30% for Romney. Jews make up only 2% of the entire vote.

93% of blacks voted for Obama. Down slightly from 2008. They were 13% of the total vote.

Gays made up 5% of the vote. More than twice as many gays as Jews. And I'm sure there were plenty of gay Jews. Anyway, 76% voted for Obama, 22% for Romney. That surprises me. Nearly one in four gay people went for Romney. That tells me two things: they are not single issue voters, and they realize that even if Obama says he thinks gay marriage should be legal, he hasn't addressed it in his policies for four years. So if neither candidate wants to make gay marriage legal, might as well find another issue to decide on.

Young people (under 30) voted for Obama by a 60 to 37 margin. Unmarried women went to Obama 67 to 31. If we're going to pay for their birth control I at least hope the sluts put out.

38% think Barack Obama is most to blame for the current economy. 53% say George W. Bush is most to blame.

18% of voters say their household contains a union member. And those voters went to Obama by a margin of 58-40. Surprised so many union households went to Romney actually

Here's the scariest number to me. 15% said response to Hurricane Sandy was the most important issue to them. Those voters went for Obama 73 to 26. I think the media, and Chris Christie may have given the President an assist there. While early response seemed to be good, FEMA predictably failed to provide strong assistance as the days wore on.

And the most upsetting number: only 60% of voters have a full-time job. The full-time jobbers were split 49-49. Those part-timers and unemployed went for Obama 53-45, giving some credence to the joke that Obama would be in the lead until Republicans got off of work.

Election Prediction

Electoral College
Barack Obama: 294
Mitt Romney: 244

Popular Vote
Barack Obama: 51.5% (64.8 million)
Mitt Romney: 47%
Gary Johnson: 1.5%

Election will be called at 1:15 AM Wednesday morning.

What I Should Have Said Theater

Here are the first two paragraphs of President Obama’s statement on the attack in Libya:

I strongly condemn the outrageous attack on our diplomatic facility in Benghazi, which took the lives of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens. Right now, the American people have the families of those we lost in our thoughts and prayers. They exemplified America's commitment to freedom, justice, and partnership with nations and people around the globe, and stand in stark contrast to those who callously took their lives.

I have directed my Administration to provide all necessary resources to support the security of our personnel in Libya, and to increase security at our diplomatic posts around the globe. While the United States rejects efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, we must all unequivocally oppose the kind of senseless violence that took the lives of these public servants.

The first part is fine. Here is what he should have said instead of the last sentence he did use:
The United States will always stand up for freedom, especially freedom of speech for Americans. A movie is not sufficient provocation to attack a consulate and kill four people. Mitt Romney and his fellow Mormons aren’t burning down the theater for “Book of Mormon.” No one killed Bill Maher after “Religulous.” There were mild, non-violent protests over the ABC show “Good Christian Bitches.” We must all unequivocally oppose the kind of senseless violence that took the lives of these public servants.

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

I don't care what political party you affiliate with, how much convention coverage you actually watch, we can all agree on one thing: we like cute kids. So I was thrilled to see Carina Castro continue in the fine tradition of Piper Palin. While her father, San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro was speaking about her first day of school, Carina saw herself on the big screen in the arena:

Giant Vaginas Invade the RNC

I'm trying to stay out of the political debate this season but as I promised Damino, I would post absurdities from the campaign trail. So enjoy this picture of Code Pink members dressed as Giant Vaginas (Va-giants) to protest the GOP's supposed "war on women."

I'd point out that these vaginas don't look anatomically correct. Unfortunately I couldn't find a picture of the vagina emblazoned with the words "read my lips..."

This reminds of a classic post in Poop history.

Why I Was Detained By Secret Service

de·tain [dih-teyn] verb (used with object)
1. to keep from proceeding; keep waiting; delay.

As I was leaving work today I was stopped in the elevator bank by a very serious looking man in a suit. He said "just one minute sir, stay there," and he stood in front of me to impede if I were to disobey his request.
I noticed five men in suits walking formation around another man, Mitt Romney. They walked off the elevator and to the door at the other end of the vestibule. Then another elevator opened and four more people stepped off and followed the group into the main area of the floor.
When they were all through the door, the Secret Service agent (I think half were Secret Service, the other half regular building security) thanked me and allowed me to continue.
On the other side, the door through which the group entered the floor, was a co-worker of mine who was similarly stopped from proceeding to the elevators.
Kind of excessive if you ask me, especially because President Obama was freely shaking hands and kissing babies at the NCAA tournament game last night without any visible sign of protection.
But regardless, I think it's a pretty cool story to tell about the time I was detained by Secret Service.

Cain is Able

Presidential candidate Herman Cain used to run a company called Godfather's Pizza, unfamiliar to many of us on the East Coast. But apparently it was a big thing in the Midwest. Here's Cain in 1991 at the Omaha Press Club singing an ode to pizza to the tune of John Lennon's "Imagine."
His singing starts at :44



"Imagine there's no pizza
I couldn't if I tried
Eating only tacos
Or Kentucky Fried."

I really liked it, and think Cain is actually a pretty good singer. Several other big name musicians seem equally impressed and plan to release Cain-themed cover versions of their most popular songs.

Prince: "I only wanted to see you laughing in the ---, Herman Cain. Herman Cain, Herman Cain."

Wayne Newton: "Herman Cain, darling, Herman Cain. Thank you for, all the joy and pain."

Rob Base: "Joy. HermanCain. Sunshine. Rain."

Tay Zonday: "Herman Cain. Some stay dry while others feel the rain."

Update:
Scorpions: "Here I am. Rock you like a Herman Cain."

If you don't think it's funny, please click on the artist's name to hear the original.
If you still don't think it's funny try singing the new version out loud.
If you still don't think it's funny, you're a moron.

Thanks to Albino for his help on this