Bad Rappers for $100 Alex

We know that the quality of rap music has gone downhill recently. So I hate pretty much everything that comes out nowadays (and gets major radio airplay). But of all the bad things I've heard, nothing bothers me more when rappers describe the colors of their cars with a description no one would ever use.

For instance, the horrible Nikki Minaj defiled the remix of one of my favorite songs (Hold You by Gyptian, Song of the Week, 5/19/10) with "Got a new Benz the color of bacon bits." What color are bacon bits? Would anyone ever get a car in that color?

I hate mayonnaise. Why would anyone want a car that color? Is it white, off-white. Makes me sick just thinking about it. So why would 2 Chainz say "coupe the color of mayonnaise" in "Mercy" by Kanye West.

I expect those things from people like Nikki Minaj and 2 Chainz. But I expected better from Jadakiss. He's a rapper from my generation. And he's actually quite good. Except for that "Made You Look" remix with Nas, when he said "comin through the hood in the Aston Vanquish the color of dandruff." At least I know that's white.

Does He Know Anne Frank Was Hiding From Nazis Not Paparazzi?

When Tiki Barber was cheating on his beautiful Asian wife with his beautiful blonde, much younger girlfriend while the aforementioned wife was pregnant, sometimes the paparazzi got to be too much.
So Barber hid out in the attic of his agent to get away.
And since his agent is Jewish Barber said "it was like a reverse Anne Frank thing."



This could hurt Barber's NFL comeback. If I were a Jewish owner I would tell Barber to go fuck himself before I signed him.