A long time ago we asked Would You Bang Sarah Palin?, last night Tracy Morgan answered. Walking by the set of the TNT pregame show before the Knicks-Heat game, Kenny and Charles stopped him to ask him an important question.
Showing posts with label masturbators. Show all posts
Showing posts with label masturbators. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Wii Curling
I love Wii, I love curling so there is no doubt I would love to play Wii curling. But judging on the motion needed to be a sweeper in the game (as demonstrated by hosts of an Australian TV show) TON would school me at the game when he comes over to play.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Did Marcus Washington Pantomime Masturbation?
It sure looks like the Redskins linebacker is jerking off during this celebration after a simple tackle of Stephen Jackson. But he may have been pretending to ride a horse. You decide.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Pizza Parlor Derek is Going to Outlive Us All
Ernest Borgnine, still kicking at 91 years-old reveals his secret to life.
In an interview with Fox News, the star of JLeary's favorite show ever "The Single Guy," explained his fountain of youth to Steve Doocy in an Irish Whisper.
"I just shook his hand!"
In an interview with Fox News, the star of JLeary's favorite show ever "The Single Guy," explained his fountain of youth to Steve Doocy in an Irish Whisper.
"I just shook his hand!"
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
The First Penn State Athlete to Ever Go To the Library
Penn State Police filed charges against Nittany Lions basketball player Stanley Pringle in an incident involving public masturbation in Pattee Library.
Pringle, the team's point guard, sat behind a female student in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with her and began masturbating.
Sports Information Director Brian Siegrist confirmed that charges were filed against Pringle yesterday, but denied Pringle's involvement in the masturbation incident.
A similar incident occurred on March 21 on the second-floor landing of McElwain Hall's main stairwell between 8 and 8:15 p.m, when police said a man entered the building behind the woman and followed her to the stairwell landing where he began to masturbate. A similar description of the man was given in both incidents, police said. No charges have been filed for the McElwain Hall incident.
Update: Nittany Lion basketball player Stanley Pringle told police he was touching his penis but was not masturbating in the Pattee Library stacks.
Pringle told police he has "a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants," and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.
"Why would I need to masturbate?" he told police. "This is how I chill, ma'am."
Pringle, the team's point guard, sat behind a female student in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with her and began masturbating.
Sports Information Director Brian Siegrist confirmed that charges were filed against Pringle yesterday, but denied Pringle's involvement in the masturbation incident.
A similar incident occurred on March 21 on the second-floor landing of McElwain Hall's main stairwell between 8 and 8:15 p.m, when police said a man entered the building behind the woman and followed her to the stairwell landing where he began to masturbate. A similar description of the man was given in both incidents, police said. No charges have been filed for the McElwain Hall incident.
Update: Nittany Lion basketball player Stanley Pringle told police he was touching his penis but was not masturbating in the Pattee Library stacks.
Pringle told police he has "a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants," and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.
"Why would I need to masturbate?" he told police. "This is how I chill, ma'am."
Friday, May 04, 2007
What To Do at Shea Stadium If You Can't Watch The Game
Jacob Nasser, 68, drove a bus full of kids from an intermediate (middle school for non-NY Poopheads) school to Shea Stadium on a field trip to see Wednesday afternoon's game. When the next bus pulled up to park next to Nasser's bus, they saw him with his pants down masturbating with the aid of a mechanical device, believe to be a penis pump.
Nasser apparently wasn't shy when the passengers in the other bus saw him, he reportedly enjoyed the attention.
Police arrested him for public lewdness, confiscated his penis pump and found Valium on him, and tacked that onto the charges as well.
I imagine the bus was disinfected and driven home by one of the teachers.
Nasser apparently wasn't shy when the passengers in the other bus saw him, he reportedly enjoyed the attention.
Police arrested him for public lewdness, confiscated his penis pump and found Valium on him, and tacked that onto the charges as well.
I imagine the bus was disinfected and driven home by one of the teachers.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Ladies Love UMich Fraternity Guys
I think this happened a time or two in Focks' day.
Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission and began to masturbate on a couch.
While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.
No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired.
Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.
When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity.
She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.
According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.
"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."
The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report.
Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.
Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission and began to masturbate on a couch.
While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.
No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired.
Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.
When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity.
She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.
According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.
"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."
The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report.
Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Library Masturbator Update
I'm sure most Poop readers will never forget Michael Cooper, the library masturbator who was outed by Cleveland's investigative reporter, Carl Monday.
Cooper was sentenced for his crime last week, and had another run-in with Monday.
Cooper was sentenced for his crime last week, and had another run-in with Monday.
Friday, July 07, 2006
DWM (Driving While Masturbating)
Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin was served with a civil suit accusing him of crashing his Escalade into a parked car in front of a supermarket because he was drunk and watching a pornographic DVD.
Griffin said a day after the accident (which occurred in May) that he crashed his car because he was reaching for a cell phone that had fallen off his lap. The complaint alleges the crash occurred because he was "under the influence of alcohol" and masturbating while watching pornography on a TV set in his dashboard.
The suit alleges "Defendant Griffin was under the influence of alcohol and negligently not paying attention to the direction of travel ahead of him due in part to the fact he was watching a pornographic DVD which was displayed on a mounted in-dash DVD player, located near the steering column, in his Escalade video. He was manually manipulating his genitals which he described to a witness, after the accident, as “jacking off.” DVD jackets with pornographic titles “Anal Action” and “Privates” were seen in the driver/passenger area of the vehicle. The items were viewed by the officers at the scene, whereupon they laughed."
The plaintiffs claim the cops didn't conduct a sobriety test even though Griffin was visibly drunk. He can allegedly be heard and seen on the store's video and audio recorders saying "I'm drunk" and "I'm fucked up" and saying "whatever" 69 times in 24 minutes. He also put his sweatshirt on inside out.
The plaintiffs also blame the Timberwolves claiming they tried to get his Escalade out of impound to remove to the porn.
Griffin said a day after the accident (which occurred in May) that he crashed his car because he was reaching for a cell phone that had fallen off his lap. The complaint alleges the crash occurred because he was "under the influence of alcohol" and masturbating while watching pornography on a TV set in his dashboard.
The suit alleges "Defendant Griffin was under the influence of alcohol and negligently not paying attention to the direction of travel ahead of him due in part to the fact he was watching a pornographic DVD which was displayed on a mounted in-dash DVD player, located near the steering column, in his Escalade video. He was manually manipulating his genitals which he described to a witness, after the accident, as “jacking off.” DVD jackets with pornographic titles “Anal Action” and “Privates” were seen in the driver/passenger area of the vehicle. The items were viewed by the officers at the scene, whereupon they laughed."
The plaintiffs claim the cops didn't conduct a sobriety test even though Griffin was visibly drunk. He can allegedly be heard and seen on the store's video and audio recorders saying "I'm drunk" and "I'm fucked up" and saying "whatever" 69 times in 24 minutes. He also put his sweatshirt on inside out.
The plaintiffs also blame the Timberwolves claiming they tried to get his Escalade out of impound to remove to the porn.
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