I'm heading to Maine for my (mostly) annual week of fun and sun and lobsters. While I'm away Big Ton will be in charge of the Poop and the Recap. Even though he knows nothing about baseball he'll post the score and a link to the wire story for each game. As for what he'll do with this space for a week. Who knows? But I'm sure he'll appreciate your suggestions.
I'll most likely post next on Saturday August 12th.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Bad Dog
A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children's museum.
"He just went berserk," said Daniel Medley, general manager of Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.
The rampage, in which Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear owned by the young Presley, left fluffy stuffing and bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. Presley's bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.
The collection was valued at more than $900,000.
The bear linked to Elvis was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis and had lent it to the museum. "I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all," Medley said.
"The security guard was doing his normal patrols at the site. He let the dog in, and the dog went on a rampage. He started with Mabel, took a very large chunk out of Mabel almost severing her head, and then went mad. It took about 20 minutes to bring him out." Dozens of other bears were shredded too.
As for Barney, "he's going to be retired to a farm where he can chase chickens," Medley said. "We've told the security company we don't want anything nasty to happen to Barney, but we don't want him back."
I'm very surprised by this news. Usual working dogs are incredibly well-trained and never have outbursts like this. But I am glad that they are not going to seek retribution from Barney.
"He just went berserk," said Daniel Medley, general manager of Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.
The rampage, in which Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear owned by the young Presley, left fluffy stuffing and bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. Presley's bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.
The collection was valued at more than $900,000.
The bear linked to Elvis was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis and had lent it to the museum. "I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all," Medley said.
"The security guard was doing his normal patrols at the site. He let the dog in, and the dog went on a rampage. He started with Mabel, took a very large chunk out of Mabel almost severing her head, and then went mad. It took about 20 minutes to bring him out." Dozens of other bears were shredded too.
As for Barney, "he's going to be retired to a farm where he can chase chickens," Medley said. "We've told the security company we don't want anything nasty to happen to Barney, but we don't want him back."
I'm very surprised by this news. Usual working dogs are incredibly well-trained and never have outbursts like this. But I am glad that they are not going to seek retribution from Barney.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Stars on a Plane
Comedian Mo’Nique was booted off a United Airlines flight in Chicago after a spat with a flight attendant.
The entertainer was en route to New York on Sunday to tape two episodes of “The View,” where she reportedly is being considered as a replacement for Star Jones.
A flight attendant challenged her stylist when she put a hair dryer in a first-class bin. Mo’Nique was flying in the front of the cabin, but her assistant was in coach.
After an exchange of words, Mo’Nique said the attendant told her: "Tell your people that the next time they have an attitude, they are being thrown off. ... Since 9/11, we don't play around."
“The safety of all of our passengers and our crew is our top priority, and that we regret that Ms. Imes felt in any way that she was not treated with courtesy and respect. When a situation occurs on a flight that causes a delay, or disruption, we must act in the best interest of all of our customers. It was determined that the best course of action was to accommodate Ms. Imes on a later flight.” said an airline spokesperson.
Things didn't get much better for her when she got to "The View."
The trouble began when Barbara Walters asked Mo’Nique if it was true that she didn’t shave her legs. Without missing a beat, the comedienne jumped up to show the audience her unshaven legs. When Mo’Nique told her that her hair does show beneath her pantyhose, Behar quipped “that’s attractive.”
Later in the show, Walters referred to Mo’Nique’s twin babies as “creatures,” a comment that clearly rubbed Mo’Nique the wrong way.
“Wait a minute Barbara; they’re not creatures sugar. Don’t call my children creatures.”
Later, Mo’Nique joked about smacking Behar that Walter’s reminded the comedienne, “Just remember, you come and go, but we stay,” as she reached over Mo’Nique to high-five Behar.
I did like Mo'Nique in "Two Can Play That Game" but my favorite story is when she wore a cow-printed outfit on "Showtime at the Apollo" and Mrs. Poop said she looked more like Moo-Nique.
The entertainer was en route to New York on Sunday to tape two episodes of “The View,” where she reportedly is being considered as a replacement for Star Jones.
A flight attendant challenged her stylist when she put a hair dryer in a first-class bin. Mo’Nique was flying in the front of the cabin, but her assistant was in coach.
After an exchange of words, Mo’Nique said the attendant told her: "Tell your people that the next time they have an attitude, they are being thrown off. ... Since 9/11, we don't play around."
“The safety of all of our passengers and our crew is our top priority, and that we regret that Ms. Imes felt in any way that she was not treated with courtesy and respect. When a situation occurs on a flight that causes a delay, or disruption, we must act in the best interest of all of our customers. It was determined that the best course of action was to accommodate Ms. Imes on a later flight.” said an airline spokesperson.
Things didn't get much better for her when she got to "The View."
The trouble began when Barbara Walters asked Mo’Nique if it was true that she didn’t shave her legs. Without missing a beat, the comedienne jumped up to show the audience her unshaven legs. When Mo’Nique told her that her hair does show beneath her pantyhose, Behar quipped “that’s attractive.”
Later in the show, Walters referred to Mo’Nique’s twin babies as “creatures,” a comment that clearly rubbed Mo’Nique the wrong way.
“Wait a minute Barbara; they’re not creatures sugar. Don’t call my children creatures.”
Later, Mo’Nique joked about smacking Behar that Walter’s reminded the comedienne, “Just remember, you come and go, but we stay,” as she reached over Mo’Nique to high-five Behar.
I did like Mo'Nique in "Two Can Play That Game" but my favorite story is when she wore a cow-printed outfit on "Showtime at the Apollo" and Mrs. Poop said she looked more like Moo-Nique.
Don't Hassle the Hoff
David Hasselhoff was reportedly barred from boarding a plane at London’s Heathrow airport because he was drunk.
He reportedly arrived at the first-class passenger lounge “reeking of booze”.
He was allegedly seen by passengers staggering around, mumbling to fellow travellers and attempting to pick up a shop worker at one of Heathrow’s retail outlets.
Hasselhoff's people claim he was sick, not drunk.
Perhaps, both.
He reportedly arrived at the first-class passenger lounge “reeking of booze”.
He was allegedly seen by passengers staggering around, mumbling to fellow travellers and attempting to pick up a shop worker at one of Heathrow’s retail outlets.
Hasselhoff's people claim he was sick, not drunk.
Perhaps, both.
From Rags to Riches
Come with me as follow the path of Chris Snow from UUTV to the front office.
Bill, Smist and I worked with Snow at UUTV in Syracuse our senior year. He was a quiet freshman.
After graduating in 2003, Chris covered the Minnesota Wild for the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
After that he went to work at the Boston Globe. He became one of their baseball writers and he of course covered the Red Sox.
Minnesota GM Doug Risebrough was impressed with Snow and the two kept in touch after Snow moved to Boston.
Earlier this year, the Wild hired Snow as their director of hockey operations.
``They have a need and they were willing to think outside the box," Chris said ``I've done nothing in the sport, but these are people I believe in. I like the sport and I like their vision."
Snow's duties will include monitoring rosters and salary commitments of 30 NHL teams, and assisting with player contracts, arbitration research, and statistical analysis.
``It looks like anybody can be in a front office," joked Terry Francona. ``Apparently it's not that tough."
``This is in vogue in sports now," said second baseman Mark Loretta. ``Baseball's been going with young whiz kids as GMs. Maybe hockey is taking a page from that. Good for Chris."
``That's pretty funny," said Tim Wakefield.
``Can he skate?" asked Trot Nixon.
``Who's Chris?" said Manny RamÃrez.
Cool Threads
Two of my favorite throwback uniforms were on display Thursday when the Astros and Padres got together. I only wish they both could have been the road team, so the Padres could have worn their chocolate and mustard duds.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Misinterpreted News
Women in Russia are going to be pissed.
Note: The original headline said "Russian agency wants to stop pipe-laying"
And the answer to her question is, yes, he most definitely would:
And then there's this classic, which I'm pretty sure I interpreted this correctly:
Note: The original headline said "Russian agency wants to stop pipe-laying"
And the answer to her question is, yes, he most definitely would:
And then there's this classic, which I'm pretty sure I interpreted this correctly:
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Freed! Freed has been instrumental in our growth by recruiting several new readers from Denver. And Freed impressed the rest of the Poop's readership by marrying well.
Once More, With Feeling
Fucking Mel Gibson (he calls me "fucking Jew" so I'll call him fucking Mel Gibson), didn't mention his anti-semitic remarks in his first apology, so he decided to try it again.
"There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of Anti-Semitic remark. I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge.
I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.
The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life. Every human being is God’s child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.
I’m not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.
I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone. I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery. Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable. But I pray that that door is not forever closed.
This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have. It’s about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad."
"There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of Anti-Semitic remark. I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge.
I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.
The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life. Every human being is God’s child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.
I’m not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.
I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone. I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery. Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable. But I pray that that door is not forever closed.
This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have. It’s about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad."
Sexy Hair (and Other Sexy Parts)
She's still absent from the American Idol tour due to bronchitis but Katharine McPhee did announce that she will be the spokesman for a new line of products called "Sexy Hair."
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Not Ready for Primetime
Just busted out of the tournament in 1370th place out of 1594.
I caught A-Q on the first hand, then Q-Q on the third and was big stacked. The guy to my left kept raising and never folding, the only hand he turned over was J-6. So when I got in a pot with him I put him all in, hoping he'd have junk and fold. He had pocket jacks against my weak ace. After that I got caught with another weak ace and went all in after an ace hit on the turn, trying to steal the pot, unfortunately I got called by A-K.
I caught A-Q on the first hand, then Q-Q on the third and was big stacked. The guy to my left kept raising and never folding, the only hand he turned over was J-6. So when I got in a pot with him I put him all in, hoping he'd have junk and fold. He had pocket jacks against my weak ace. After that I got caught with another weak ace and went all in after an ace hit on the turn, trying to steal the pot, unfortunately I got called by A-K.
I Won!
Won my first online poker tournament last night. It was Full Tilt Poker freeroll with 90 players. Top 3 won an entry into the first round of a 3 round tournament.
Here's some of the big hands:
I had Q-9, made a straight on the board, went all in and doubled up.
Pair of queens, 3 undercards on the flop, I'm raised all in, I call and get a queen on the turn.
With a-9, the flop comes k-a-9, I put the short stack all in. He calls with 9-9. I lose.
Start with 3-3 flop a set and go all in against pocket 8s.
Queen-10, board is 7-6-9-j-k. I go all in and double up against K-Q.
10-5, I flop top pair and catch a five on the river vs. 10-9. One of my luckiest draws ever.
I make a huge raise with AK, reraised all in by K-9. A king and an ace come out. Now we're down to four players.
I got down to heads up. With J-10 I turn a 10 for top pair, called all-in by a-6, avoided a diamond on the river to double up to 46,000 (he had me outchipped 112 to 23).
A-10 flop 10-k-q, go all in, he shows 10-2. That's when I knocked him down.
I knocked him out with pockets 10s vs A-J when a 10 came on the turn.
I am now going to play in a 1500 player tournament, with the top 150 advancing to round 2. The winner of Round 3 goes to Vegas.
Here's some of the big hands:
I had Q-9, made a straight on the board, went all in and doubled up.
Pair of queens, 3 undercards on the flop, I'm raised all in, I call and get a queen on the turn.
With a-9, the flop comes k-a-9, I put the short stack all in. He calls with 9-9. I lose.
Start with 3-3 flop a set and go all in against pocket 8s.
Queen-10, board is 7-6-9-j-k. I go all in and double up against K-Q.
10-5, I flop top pair and catch a five on the river vs. 10-9. One of my luckiest draws ever.
I make a huge raise with AK, reraised all in by K-9. A king and an ace come out. Now we're down to four players.
I got down to heads up. With J-10 I turn a 10 for top pair, called all-in by a-6, avoided a diamond on the river to double up to 46,000 (he had me outchipped 112 to 23).
A-10 flop 10-k-q, go all in, he shows 10-2. That's when I knocked him down.
I knocked him out with pockets 10s vs A-J when a 10 came on the turn.
I am now going to play in a 1500 player tournament, with the top 150 advancing to round 2. The winner of Round 3 goes to Vegas.
Focus
When the White House extended an invitation to dine with President Bush, Dan Marino accepted. But Miami Dolphins coach Nick Saban said no.
Saban said his obligations at training camp took priority over the chance to spend an evening with the president. Politics weren't a factor, he said.
"It was really a tough decision," Saban said Monday. "I feel like my first responsibility is our team. That in no way disrespects the importance of the opportunity I would have loved to have had to spend dinner with the president."
Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor said he also turned down a chance to attend because the dinner Sunday night conflicted with team meetings on the second day of training camp.
The dinner took place at Joe's Stone Crabs, a landmark Miami Beach restaurant. Among those joining President Bush were Marino, a former Dolphins quarterback and an NFL Hall of Famer, and Nick Buoniconti, Jim Mandich and Jim Kiick, members of the 1972 Dolphins team that achieved the only perfect season in league history.
Marino, Buoniconti and Mandich took their wives. Marino said he was honored to be included but declined further comment.
Among the other guests were actor Andy Garcia and Univision host Mario Kreutzberger, known as Don Francisco. Topics of conversation included movies, the 1972 Dolphins and Marino's achievements, but little politics, Kiick said.
"It was a pretty wild feeling to know you're having dinner with the most powerful person in the most powerful country," Kiick said. "Usually it costs you $20,000 to get close to the president."
Regarding Saban's decision not to attend, Kiick said: "I find it hard to imagine turning down the president."
A Dolphins spokesman said Saban opted against accepting the invitation in part because the dinner conflicted with a visit by an undisclosed out-of-town guest who addressed his team.
How did Saban's wife react to his decision to decline?
"I'd rather this not become a public issue, because I don't think I even told her, to be honest with you," he said. "Now that you mention it, maybe I should wear a helmet home tonight."
Saban said he would have cherished dining with the president.
"It's a great experience, but it's a personal experience," Saban said. "And my obligation is to these players right now.
"Once we commit to camp, I'm out of everything. It helps me with the precedent of saying, 'This is what I'm doing, this is what I'm committed to, and I don't have to make exceptions for anything or anybody,'" he said.
Taylor said Marino invited him to the dinner.
"It's great to be able to do some things like that, but I've got an obligation here," Taylor said. "I've got a job to do and a responsibility."
Taylor and other players said they weren't surprised that Saban told the White House no.
"He's a football guy," safety Travares Tillman said. "He'll take us over the president any day."
When asked if he's a political person, Saban shook his head but said his best friend growing up was Joe Manchin, now governor of West Virginia.
"I can't even tell you what his political deal is, to be honest with you," Saban said. "But he's my friend."
As coach at LSU, Saban met Bush when the team visited the White House after winning the 2003 national championship. And while at Michigan State he met President Clinton, who took advantage of Saban's hospitality during a break between a morning fundraiser and an afternoon commencement speech.
"They took over our facility building, so he had an office there," Saban said. "I'm working in my office, he's in the other end of the building. Two Secret Service guys come down and say, 'Hey coach, can we use your couch? President Clinton doesn't have a couch. He wants to take a nap.' I said sure. My claim to fame is that he took a nap on my couch."
Saban said his obligations at training camp took priority over the chance to spend an evening with the president. Politics weren't a factor, he said.
"It was really a tough decision," Saban said Monday. "I feel like my first responsibility is our team. That in no way disrespects the importance of the opportunity I would have loved to have had to spend dinner with the president."
Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor said he also turned down a chance to attend because the dinner Sunday night conflicted with team meetings on the second day of training camp.
The dinner took place at Joe's Stone Crabs, a landmark Miami Beach restaurant. Among those joining President Bush were Marino, a former Dolphins quarterback and an NFL Hall of Famer, and Nick Buoniconti, Jim Mandich and Jim Kiick, members of the 1972 Dolphins team that achieved the only perfect season in league history.
Marino, Buoniconti and Mandich took their wives. Marino said he was honored to be included but declined further comment.
Among the other guests were actor Andy Garcia and Univision host Mario Kreutzberger, known as Don Francisco. Topics of conversation included movies, the 1972 Dolphins and Marino's achievements, but little politics, Kiick said.
"It was a pretty wild feeling to know you're having dinner with the most powerful person in the most powerful country," Kiick said. "Usually it costs you $20,000 to get close to the president."
Regarding Saban's decision not to attend, Kiick said: "I find it hard to imagine turning down the president."
A Dolphins spokesman said Saban opted against accepting the invitation in part because the dinner conflicted with a visit by an undisclosed out-of-town guest who addressed his team.
How did Saban's wife react to his decision to decline?
"I'd rather this not become a public issue, because I don't think I even told her, to be honest with you," he said. "Now that you mention it, maybe I should wear a helmet home tonight."
Saban said he would have cherished dining with the president.
"It's a great experience, but it's a personal experience," Saban said. "And my obligation is to these players right now.
"Once we commit to camp, I'm out of everything. It helps me with the precedent of saying, 'This is what I'm doing, this is what I'm committed to, and I don't have to make exceptions for anything or anybody,'" he said.
Taylor said Marino invited him to the dinner.
"It's great to be able to do some things like that, but I've got an obligation here," Taylor said. "I've got a job to do and a responsibility."
Taylor and other players said they weren't surprised that Saban told the White House no.
"He's a football guy," safety Travares Tillman said. "He'll take us over the president any day."
When asked if he's a political person, Saban shook his head but said his best friend growing up was Joe Manchin, now governor of West Virginia.
"I can't even tell you what his political deal is, to be honest with you," Saban said. "But he's my friend."
As coach at LSU, Saban met Bush when the team visited the White House after winning the 2003 national championship. And while at Michigan State he met President Clinton, who took advantage of Saban's hospitality during a break between a morning fundraiser and an afternoon commencement speech.
"They took over our facility building, so he had an office there," Saban said. "I'm working in my office, he's in the other end of the building. Two Secret Service guys come down and say, 'Hey coach, can we use your couch? President Clinton doesn't have a couch. He wants to take a nap.' I said sure. My claim to fame is that he took a nap on my couch."
Monday, July 31, 2006
Disaster at the Recap
Duaner Sanchez is out for the season with a separated shoulder. Omar had to react to this injury, and he was able to get Roberto Hernandez back, from the Pirates along with Oliver Perez, for Xavier Nady.
Laughter is the Best Medicine
New York traffic reporter Joe Nolan has become an internet sensation with the sound of his infectious laughter.
However, I found a viral video I like more. My buddy Cameron does the laughing, help by his mom's friends Sara. Diesel's girlfriend Freckles provides the comedic inspiration.
However, I found a viral video I like more. My buddy Cameron does the laughing, help by his mom's friends Sara. Diesel's girlfriend Freckles provides the comedic inspiration.
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