3000 Words

The $18.3M first prize for the million-dollar buy-in tournament at the World Series of Poker, won by Antonio Esfandiari.

Half Pooh, Half Poop



Coors Light uses a famous Seinfeld quote ("they're real and they're spectacular") in an ad. Jerry Seinfeld must have gotten paid for it because he looks pleased.

It Happens To a Lot of Guys

Watch San Diego's "Big Bay Boom" fireworks display, in its entirety.



A technical glitch caused all the fireworks on 4 barges to go off at the same time. It should have lasted for 18-20 minutes. It was more like 20 seconds.

20 seconds, that's it?
That's what she said.

The sad thing is, people camped out for hours to get a prime viewing spot, and this is all they got.

At least she did see fireworks.

Song of the Week

"Precious and Few" - Climax
I decided to go with something different for 1972. There were some great soul and R&B joints out that year but I like the slow pace of this one, typifies the 1970s easy listening genre.

Product Review: Bacon Sundae

A lot of fanfare surrounded the release of Burger King's bacon sundae. Someone at work bought about 8 of them for some reason and had an extra one, so I decided to try one.

The bacon is not hot (obviously) and it's a little chewy and a little soggy, so the three big pieces that come on top don't taste all that great. Once you get past that there's smaller pieces of bacon, like bacon bits but real bacon, mixed with the vanilla ice cream which tastes great. It's a unique combination of sweet and salty but it goes together pretty well. Once you eat the bacon, and there isn't that much bacon, you are just enjoying vanilla ice cream mixed with chocolate sauce at the bottom.





It tastes pretty good, and I would recommend trying it once. But after that you will probably never want to eat it again. You can have a better ice cream if you want ice cream, and you can have hot crispy bacon if you want bacon, so I really can't see eating this thing twice.

No Turkey Legs in Chicago

Taste of Chicago will not be the same this year. Tim McGivern has been providing turkey legs at Taste since 1981.
“Over the last couple of years, I’ve had health issues; my knee and spine are not good. My doctors more or less advised against it,” McGivern told the Chicago Tribune.
The same thing happened at Taste of Warsaw and there will be no ice cubes this year.

At least those hearty Chicagoans can enjoy these pictures of me eating turkey legs.

Song of the Week

"Duke of Earl" - Gene Chandler
One of the best doo-wop songs ever and my choice for best song of 1962. This song is 50 years old. If Papa Poop ever read this blog he would feel very old.

Can't Take a Compliment, Or a Joke

Women's groups are furious over this sign at the MarketFair Mall in New Jersey. The signs says "We apologize for the whistling construction workers, but man you look good. So will we soon, pardon our dust, dirt and other assorted inconveniences."




This offensive sign makes a joke of the horrible street crime of whistling at women. I don't understand it from personal experience but I suppose I can understand how being whistled at can be annoying perhaps even offensive.
But I don't see how making a joke about something upsetting is equally upsetting. Getting whistled at by construction workers is not assault, it's a nuisance. A sign about getting whistled at is none of those.

I Almost Had to Use My AK

While driving home on my birthday I found myself in surprisingly heavy traffic on Fair Lawn Avenue. I needed to be in the left lane to make a turn at the next intersection. Traffic was slow so I weaseled my way in. Even though I had my signal on the guy behind me chose to lean on his horn. After I made my left turn, he followed behind me. So I pulled over to let him by, just to get away from him.

He stopped next to me and screamed out the window:
“What’s your fuckin problem?” (He’s screaming at me, and I’m the one with the problem?)
“We were going 5 miles an hour you could have let me in.” (I didn’t scream. I said it so quietly he had to ask me to repeat myself.)
“I wasn’t behind you, I was alongside of you, you cut me off.” (He was behind me, or else I would have hit him when I changed lanes. I do admit to cutting him off, but only because he wasn’t courteous enough to see that I was trying to get over and let me in.)
“Just go, move on with your day.” (I was done with this discussion.)
“Go fuck yourself pal.” (Then he drove away, making a u-turn, meaning he wasn’t going the same way, he purposely followed me.)


But don't worry this didn't ruin my birthday. I actually enjoyed it, for three reasons.
I enjoy new experiences.
I like having stories to tell, keeps this blog interesting for the Poopheads with vaginas who get tired of the constant sports coverage.
And the biggest reason I was happy about it, I recognized the guy. He's an annoying father I occasionally see at the playground. He saw me wearing a Syracuse shirt once (or twice, or ten times, I pretty much wear one every day) and he told me he was raised in that area but didn't go to SU. Every time I see him he chews my ear off about SU sports (I believe the first time I ever saw him was the day Fab Melo got suspended for the tournament).
And now, I won't ever have to talk to him again. And it didn't even cost me $20 ("A Bronx Tale" reference).

A Beatdown is in Order

We all know kids can be cruel but this takes it to a new level. Four junior high school students in Rochester, NY harassed a bus monitor so horribly they reduced her to tears. You don’t have to watch the entire 10-minute video, just enough to get the idea.





They called her fat, a troll, poor, stupid and then at the very end came the clincher. One of the students said “you don’t have a family because they all killed themselves because they didn’t want to be near you.” Little did they know (or maybe they did know), her son killed himself 10 years ago. The video cuts off right after that remark so we don’t know how she reacted. But when I first heard this story I said she should have just ignored them. They were kids being kids calling her fat and she should have just let it go. But it went on for 10 minutes. And then that personal comment at the end. She should have killed them all.



The video went viral and an effort was started to raise $5,000 to send her on a nice vacation. It already has $208,000 as of mid-Thursday.

And He's Still Better Than Jon Sterling

Texas Rangers announcer Dave Barnett had some kind of on-air mental health incident. Watch, it starts at 45 seconds in (cuz MLB yanked down all other videos):



"2-1 game, tying run at second, leadoff single by Chase Headley. Go-ahead run is at fifth on what Adams is insisting on calling it a botched robbery. Actually happened was his henchman took a piece literally out of, uh, its..."

Barnett says he was just having a severe migraine. Seems like it might have been something more serious than that. Though he did finish the game without anymore gibberish. Not as funny though as the time reporter Serene Branson had a stroke on live TV.

Headline suggested by DKL

Song of the Week

"Real Love" - Eric Benet
Three good reasons to love this song, Eric Benet, falsetto and lyrics that perfectly describe my marriage to Mrs. Poop.

"I love you
Not just for who you are
But the way you made
A better man out of me"

"Now you got your funny ways girl
Lord knows I've got mine
Still we keep on getting better
And better, all the time
Cuz we got something real, babe"

"We can't go wrong
if we just hold on
Ain't nothing stronger
Cuz we've got something real
real love, real love
In a world full of make-believe"

"I'll bet everything, everything, on you and me"

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I found it nearly impossible to believe pre-season speculation saying that because R.A. Dickey unburdened himself of some personal demons in his book, he would start to pitch better. But something has certainly happened because is currently on the best streak of any starting pitcher in the history of baseball.

He is the first pitcher in 100 years at least to pitch two consecutive complete game 1-hitters, with 10 strikeouts or more in each.

Let's go back 6 starts:
6-0 - which matters because these games are unloseable
48 2/3 innings - out of 54 possible which is huge because bringing in your bullpen hurts you in the current game, and in games down the line
1 earned run - that translates into a 0.18 ERA
21 hits, 5 walks - 26 baserunners, that's a WHIP of .53
63 strikeouts - that's 11.65 Ks/9 innings. Those are power pitcher numbers.

A knuckleballer is not supposed to be able to do this. The knuckleball is supposed to be a fickle mistress who dances to her own whims. But Dickey has been remarkably consistent. If you remove his 8 runs in 4 1/3 innings in the rain in Atlanta, his ERA falls to a tiny 1.33.

Who knows if this can last. Chances are it won't. But this run he is on is truly historic. And it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Nor one who deserves and appreciates his success more than Dickey.

Did She Hurt Her Eyelashes Too?

Suzanne Pierce is suing the Phillie Phanatic. In 2010 she was sitting in a lounge chair at a hotel where she was to attend her sister's wedding. The Phillie Phanatic was performing there, unrelated to the wedding. During his comic routine he picked up Pierce, and her chair, and threw her into the pool.

According to the lawsuit, Pierce "suffered severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons and ligaments, nerves and tissues of her head, neck, back, arms and legs, including, but not limited to, a herniated L-5, S-1, aggravation and/or exacerbation of all known and unknown pre-existing medical conditions, internal injuries of an unknown nature..."

Oh is that all? I would normally have a lot of sympathy for Ms. Pierce. No one should be included in a comedy routine without their permission. And no one should ever be tossed, thrown or shoved into a pool without their consent. That could be a very dangerous activity.

But this is ridiculous. Damage to her muscles, tendons and ligaments? We get it, you're hurt. Pick the parts of your body that are hurt most, that you can prove were damaged and go with that. This Chicken Little medical report undermines her credibility.

Father of the Year

As a father you know in your heart you would do anything to protect your children. Would you, could you, do this?
A 23-year-old Texas man beat a guy to death because he was molesting his 4-year old daughter.
"The victim was an acquaintance of the girl's father who came to the barn to help care for some horses.
The adults were shoeing a horse and had sent the 4-year-old and her brother to feed chickens when the attack occurred.
The children's grandfather said the boy returned to alert his father that the little girl had been taken away by a man. The father found the pair partially naked.
In the course of trying to get her away from him, and protect her, he struck the subject several times in the head and the subject died."
He won't be charged with a crime (unless new evidence emerges refuting this story). If it's true this guy is a hero. And I hope if I were ever in that situation, I would do the same thing.

Can't Grieve Forever

In February, right before the Super Bowl Peter King wrote a glowing article in Sports Illustrated about Patriots owner Robert Kraft. His beloved wife, Myra, had just died in July. King wrote:

Over the past six months Kraft's anguish over the death in July of his wife of 48 years has been continually evident. In his interview with SI he had to stop to compose himself four times when Myra's name came up

Well I guess he got over it now. Four months after he could barely speak Myra's name, he is banging actress Ricki Noel Lander. She is 32. Kraft is 71. They're not officially dating, Kraft calls her his "pal" but they've been spotted together several times, including at Celtics playoff games.

Now I don't begrudge him for moving on with his life. I just want to poke a little fun at the unseemly way he's doing it. It's always creepy when a man that old dates a chick that much younger than he is. But to do it less than a year after your wife died and act like you still miss her every day.

Maybe he is in this just for sex, and that's ok. Maybe it defiles Myra's memory a little less because he's not looking to replace her companionship. But it still gives me the hebejebies.






Story Suggested By Jay-No

One Questionable No-Hitter is Enough

Johan Santana's no-hitter was tainted enough (by a bad call on a ball that probably should have been ruled fair). Mets fans waited 50 years for the first one, we can wait more than 2 weeks for the second one.
The Rays only hit against R.A. Dickey was a slow roller to third. David Wright tried to barehand it (the right move with BJ Upton running) but he couldn't handle it. It was ruled a hit.
That is the correct call. But the Mets are appealing it to the league office. There is precedent for this, there is a committee imbued with the power to reverse official scorers' calls.
But in this case, this hit should stand as is. But the Mets are doing the right thing by trying, showing Dickey they stand behind him.

Song of the Week

"Nights Like This" - After 7

All That Money We Give to Africa Pays Off

I have often been a Sam Kinison-esque critic of "charity" given to Africa, saying it goes to enrich warlords, empowering them even more and actually worsening the condition of the people we are trying to help. But that's for a different post, for tonight we celebrate the American influence in Kenya:



A reenactment of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Absolutely brilliant. The kid playing Ray Knight even grabbed the back of his the way Knight did. I just wish they had used Bob Murphy's call instead of Vin Scully's.

What Really Happened

Shortly after 5pm on Saturday June 9th in California, a car being driven by Commerce Secretary John Bryson rear ended another car that was stopped at a railroad crossing waiting for a train to pass. He got out of the car, spoke to the passengers in the car he hit, presumably exchanged insurance information and then got back in his car. He hit the car again as he drove away. And five minutes later crashed into a different car. When police found him he was slumped over the steering wheel. He was taken to the hospital where I suppose it was determined that Bryson was not under the influence of drugs of alcohol. So what happened? Here’s the terse statement from the Commerce Department:

Secretary Bryson was involved in a traffic accident in Los Angeles over the weekend. He suffered a seizure. He was taken to the hospital for examination and remained overnight for observation. He was released and has returned to Washington. The investigation is ongoing.

It sounds to me like that statement was trying to convince people he had a seizure which caused the first accident, without actually coming out and saying it. I just don’t believe it’s possible that he could have blacked out and had a seizure causing the first accident. And then seemed normal enough that the people he hit let him get back in the car.

I think it’s more likely that Bryson was on the phone or texting while driving and crashed into the back of the first car. After that, he was so disoriented, or perhaps nervous, that caused the other two accidents. If he had a seizure (I would hate to think they would make that up), I think it would have come after the second accident (though it will almost be impossible to ever know for sure). But now Bryson has taken a leave of absence for the Commerce Department while doctors monitor his health for more unexpected seizures (he had never had one before).

Happy Birthday Kate

Happy Birthday to my beloved Kate.

My beautiful gorgeous Kate.

The one woman in this crazy world who was made specifically for me.

Every year on June 10th, I'm reminded just how lucky I am to have her in my life.