NFL Season Predictions

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West Denver Broncos
AFC Wild Cards: Miami Dolphins, Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC Championship: Broncos over Bengals

NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC North: Chicago Bears
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: Seattle Seahawks
NFC Wild Cards: Green Bay Packers, New Orleans Saints
NFC Championship: Packers over Bears

Super Bowl: Packers over Broncos

Offensive Player of the Year: Aaron Rodgers
Defensive Player of the Year: JJ Watt
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Derek Carr
Defensive Rookie of the Year: JaDaveon Clowney
Comeback Player of the Year: Julio Jones
Coach of the Year: Mike Smith

Song of the Week

"Confession Part II" - Usher
2004 was by far the worst year of any I've done in this little exercise. I wanted to do "Hey Ya" by Outkast but that technically was released at the end of 2003. I think I can pinpoint this as the year when hip-hop turned pop, because some of these songs are so awful.
Anyway, I've always liked Usher and I loved the speculation this song caused as it coincided with his breakup with Chili.

What Do You Give Me For? Zara's Kids Pajamas and A Concentration Camp Uniform

Mexican clothing company Zara came out with an adorable line of baby pajamas they though would recall a sheriff in the Old West. Instead, to many it brought to mind the uniforms the Nazis made the Jews wear in concentration camps in WWII.
So what do you give me for Zara's Kids pajamas and a concentration camp uniform?

I hope this reminds you all of the Hitler Teapot.

Song of the Week

"Stay" - Lisa Loeb
The point of this entire exercise (going back and looking at top songs from 10, 20, 30 years ago) is to remember the time in our lives when this song was popular.
Perhaps no song is more ubiquitous in my memories than this song, which was everywhere in 1994.

Song of the Week

"Time After Time" - Cyndi Lauper
This is a good song for 1984, definitely reminds me of that era 30 years ago. I think it might have been the first video I ever saw on MTV, at a friend's house.
"If you're lost
You can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall
I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time."

Song of the Week

"You Make Me Feel Brand New" - The Stylistics
I actually picked a different song because I was sure I had made this an SOTW already. But when I went to confirm I couldn't find it so it must never have happened.
It's long overdue that I give this song, one of my favorites ever, the SOTW treatment it so richly deserves, 40 years after it came out.

A Thin Line Between Genius and Insanity

The death of Robin Williams, while sad actually wasn't all that surprising to me. Someone who is that manic, crazy, etc. is probably living on the edge at all times.
And in truth I don't feel all that badly for him. He had a great life, and if he couldn't beat his personal demons and didn't want to struggle with them anymore, that's his choice. I'm sure his children still love and need him, but they're grown now.
So let's put aside the sadness of his death and remember the humor of his life.
You will see many clips of his movies, but few of you will see, or have ever seen his brilliant standup "Live From the Met" from 1986.
Master Bates had the audio recording on cassette and we loved this part:

What Do You Give Me For? Michael Jackson in the "Thriller" Video and Razor's Cat

What do you give me for Michael Jackson from the "Thriller" video and Razor's cat?

Baseball is Poop

Hall of Shame
There is a glaring grammatical error on Greg Maddux's Hall of Fame Plaque. The line reads "only hurtler with 300 wins, 3,000 strikeouts and less than 1,000 walks."
It's fewer. FEWER! How many times do I have to tell you? When something can be counted individually you use fewer. Less is for things that can't be counted, like intelligence. The guy who did this plaque has less intelligence than Les Miles's parents.
The Hall of Fame absolutely needs to redo this plaque and display a grammatically correct version for generations of baseball fans to see.

15,000 Rockies Fans Can't Be Wrong
The Rockies had Troy Tulowitzki jersey night and gave out 15,000 shirts with his name on the back. Only it was spelled incorrectly.

Fans can come to a game in September and trade their jersey for one with his name spelled correctly, at which point he may not even be on the team anymore.

Finally a Ballplayer Who Lives Up To His Name
Reds pitcher Jumbo Diaz is listed at 6'4" and 315 pounds. That's believed to be the highest weight ever for a baseball player. His real name is Jose, but he got the nickname Jumbo because he weighs 315 pounds.

There's Hope for Jumbo Diaz
Former National and Tiger (among other things) Dmitri Young is half the man he used to be. Well not quite, but Young has lost 85 pounds from his 2008 listed weight of 290 to his current weight of 205.
He says a doctor told him to lose weight so he started doing cardio, and he takes a shot of NovoLog (insulin shot, he has diabetes) before every meal and that explains his weight loss.

Supermodels at Ballgames I
Kate Upton seated behind the dugout at the Tigers game gets a baseball from her boyfriend, Justin Verlander.



Supermodels at Ballgames II
Chrissy Teigen threw out the first pitch at the Dodgers game. It actually wasn't a bad throw, it did bounce, but at least she threw from the mound.
She was wearing a "40 Nugz" jersey because when she gets drunk she goes to McDonald's and orders...40 Nugz.

Song of the Week

"Bread and Butter" - The Newbeats
I can't believe it's been 50 years since this pop classic took the music world by storm. I'm even more surprised that it has never been an SOTW before.
Were these guys midgets? They look very short to me.

Don't Anger Hunter Pence

Some creative (vindictive?) Mets fan decided to taunt Hunter Pence when the Giants came to town.
They came to the ballpark with a bunch of creative signs:

"Hunter Pence Puts Ketchup On His Hot Dog"

I prefer to eat my dogs plain. But if I had to use a condiment I would much prefer ketchup to mustard.

Insult rating (on the Don Rickles scale):

"Hunter Pence Eats Pizza With a Fork"

This is a more serious one, but it's worse for the Mayor of New York City than it is for an outfielder from Texas

Insult rating:

"Hunter Pence Can't Parallel Park"

Not funny.

Insult Rating:

"Hunter Pence Likes Godfather 3"

Probably the worst thing you can say about a person's character and judgment.

Insult rating:

But Pence had the last laugh as the Giants won 3 out of 4 and Pence went 6 of 18 with 2 doubles, 2 triples, 2 home runs and 7 RBI for a slash line of .333/.368/1.000.

Not When I Was There

Syracuse University tops Princeton Review's list of Party Schools for 2014.
According to the Princeton Review website, “Schools on the ‘Party Schools’ list are those at which surveyed students’ answers indicated a combination of low personal daily study hours (outside of class), high usages of alcohol and drugs on campus, and high popularity on campus of frats/sororities.”
Legend has it that SU made this list once before in the early-90s which led to a crackdown by the University to avoid this label.
I'm glad to see the school is making a comeback and that the young people who choose to matriculate there are enjoying themselves. But I really thought Greek life was a negative and divisive influence on campus as I detailed in my famous letter to the DO.
I was surprised to see SU ranked #3 of 379 schools in terms of sports scenes. Again, not when I was there. During my time on campus I remember hearing that fewer than 2,000 students had basketball season tickets. A recent run of success, and a National Championship in 2003 (which probably set many current students on the path to SU) certainly have meant a lot for the basketball team, but football, not so much.
But it's nice to see my old alma getting some positive national attention.

Thanks to TON for the suggestion

I'm A Douche

This morning when I went to the bathroom for the first time at work, I couldn't get my dick out. I had put my undershorts on backwards. Didn't feel any different though.

Song of the Week

"Earth Angel" - The Penguins
We're back celebrating great music of days gone by. This classic was a hit 60 years ago. And 30 years after that it was featured in "Back to the Future" as the song that was playing when George and Lorraine kissed and fell in love at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. And the soundtrack featured a version recorded by Marvin Berry and the Starlighters.

I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom

A romantic night turned hot and spicy when a couple was caught allegedly having sex on a Chipotle roof in Delaware Saturday.
Michael Suh, 38, and Nicole Germack, 27, were arrested after an officer observed them engaging in sexual intercourse on the front of the roof of the Chipotle restaurant on the 100 block of East Main Street, Newark Police said in a press release.

The officer advised the couple to stop having sex, but they continued for almost 20 seconds, according to authorities.
When they finally stopped, they fled from the roof and into Suh's apartment a few feet away, said police.
The couple was placed under arrest inside the home. Both were released after paying $1,800.
Suh and Germack are facing multiple charges including lewdness and resisting arrest. It was not immediately clear if either had obtained an attorney.

3000 Words

Not only is this a weird picture of Kris Jenner and a giant handbag, there's a girl in the background with her face pressed up against the glass.

This is the picture (from a 1976 edition of National Geographic) that Lorde claims gave her the inspiration for the title and hook of "Royals." (SOTW, 10/23/23)

A row of hearses carries the bodies of the victims of the Malaysia Air Flight 17 attack:

Song of the Week

"Sail" - AWOLNation
Happy Birthday Juice (a few days early)!

The Most Interesting Telephone Pole in the World

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Diesel in Maine in 2012

Diesel in Maine in 2013

Diesel in Maine in 2014:

The Russian Jean Valjean

I experienced a very disturbing situation this weekend, which leads me to question the direction our country is going in, but before I can explain it, you need to understand a little bit about Family Day.
Where I live we are part of a homeowners' association. It is not gated, the houses don't all look the same, but we all pay dues, follow rules and almost all the homes are adjacent to one of the three parks.
The elementary school is located on one of the parks. The neighborhood kids go to school together, then playgroup (half-day summer camp for kids kindergarten-6th grade), they play, swim and work together. This fosters an incredible sense of community. Several people we know grew up there as kids and came back to raise their own families.
One day in summer is called Family Day, it starts in the morning with activities for kids like pony rides, inflatable slides (include a water slide), carnival games (with prizes), spin art and face-painting.
It is a completely open event. The pool is open all day to everyone, IDs are not checked, guest fees are not charged. Everything is paid for by the association. All that we ask is that parents (including residents) buy their children a wristband for $15 for access to all the above mentioned attractions plus cotton candy and sno-cones.
The pony rides and the bigger inflatable slide were manned by employees of the respective companies and they were turning away kids without wristbands.

But the rest of the things, like the bounce house were either unstaffed or done so by residents volunteering (and sacrificing times with their own families).
But there was a sign next to each station making it clear that you needed a wristband but many people just ignored it.
After having to wait for non-payers at several attractions including the bounce house (where I saw one lady, speaking Russian, but clearly telling someone about the wristband policy), I started to get frustrated.

While Chase and Julian were getting their faces painted (by a friendly resident volunteer)

the line was starting to get long. Next on line, in front of 3 paying residents, was a little girl, with her scofflaw mother (the one speaking Russian at the bounce house) nowhere to be found.

I decided to speak up. In my nicest voice I said "sweetie, tell your mommy you need a wristband to get your face painted."

Before I even finished the sentence the little girl shot back "we don't have enough money."

No one is going to turn away a child in this case. And the mother knew that. Which is why she coached the daughter to say it.

There is no way this woman is so poor that she literally had to choose between spending 15 dollars on a wristband and eating that day, she just didn't deem this expenditure worth it, especially because she knew if she plotted it right (found the soft targets, coached her daughter, and stood far away) she could get away with it.
I think she was just trying to get away with something (like the people at Panera who ask for a cup for water and then fill it up with soda) but it represents something more sinister and insidious in our society: the entitlement attitude.

If someone has more money than you, they must have stolen it or cheated you to get it, so are just stealing it back.
And that's what this woman was doing: stealing. This was an immoral act. It is wrong to take something (product or service) without paying for it.
If she truly couldn't afford it then that is sad. But she should have stayed home, that would have been a better lesson for the child than the one she taught her.

For Once, I Agree With Coach Boeheim's Strategy Decision

A Syracuse fan got a huge Jim Boeheim tattoo on his leg.

When reached for comment by ESPN, Boeheim said "I would wear long pants for the rest of my life."

Agreed.