Nik Stauskas Underestimated the Power of the Internet

We know that people who went to Michigan generally aren't that bright but former UMich Wolverine and current Sacramento King made a huge mistake. It all started when a female high school student asked how many retweets she needed to get for him to got to the prom with him.
He then got his girlfriend involved which prompted some enterprising student to ask how many retweets he needed to take her to the prom.
Stauskas said 10,000.
Ten minutes later he had 8,000. A few minutes after that, Taylor Anderson was promised as the prom date to Jamie Guerra.

Now at this point you are probably wondering what Miss Anderson looks like.

I really don't see how this is relevant but I'm here to give the people what they want.

Now you're next question is probably, does he get to sleep with her?
For the full prom experience, I would assume she would have to. But since Stauskas says he is going a long as a chaperone, I am going to guess the answer will be no.
But perhaps the Eiffel Tower is not out of the question.

Song of the Week

"Finally Moving" - Pretty Lights
One of at least three recent songs to sample Etta James's "Something's Got a Hold on Me."

It Was the Right Call

I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I hate Cowboys fans. I hate them when they are whining about calls. Especially when they got a favorable call just last week. And especially when the call they are griping about was absolutely correct. 

According to the rule book it is absolutely clear that Dez Bryant's catch was not a catch at all. 

Bryant did not make a "football move" or a move "common to the game" after catching the ball. He did not take a step or steady himself or juke a defender. He fell to the ground. And the rule states that you must retain control while falling to the ground. He clearly did not. The ball hit the ground and popped out. Period. End of story. Incomplete pass.

Now you may have a valid complaint if you don't like the rule but you can't intelligently claim it was misapplied in this case.  

And I think it is a good rule because we want to take as much gray area out of it as possible. Forcing receivers to keep possession as they fall to the ground makes it easier on officials to discern a completion. 

And though it didn't really work to quell controversy in this example I think it is the best way to avoid judgement calls by officials becoming the determining factor in big games. 

In fact I have said for years that the biggest threat to the NFL isn't concussions or wife-beating players, it's too many games being decided by penalties and rulings by officials. 

I think it ended the NBA's 90s revival when big games and championships were decided by questionable calls and clearly a fixed game (Kings-Lakers).

If this continues with the NFL where the playoffs are constantly shrouded in controversy and fans feel cheated it will lead to a decline in its popularity. 

News Flash: I'm Immature Too

The winner of this year Golden Globes golden globes award is Jennifer Lopez.

This actually created controversy this year because her co-presenter Jeremy Renner made a joke about her having the globes.

Apparently people on twitter didn't like this. It is sexist to notice women's breasts even when they are practically falling out of their dress.

But I guess I am not the only one with such a refined sense of humor. Welcome aboard Mr. Renner.

Weekly Picks

Not a great start to the playoffs but not terrible either. I got my best bet, almost got a sick backdoor cover from the awful Cardinals. But I got all four winners from my playoff predictions.

baltimore +7 NEW ENGLAND
I think the Patriots will win but I think Baltimore is a good enough playoff team to keep this close.

indianapolis +7 DENVER
I actually think the Colts are going to win this game and everyone is going to talk about the changing of the guard.

SEATTLE -12 1/2 carolina
I want to make this my best bet but I think the spread is just a little too large and the Panthers defense is just a little too good.

BEST BET
GREEN BAY -5 1/2 dallas
The more people jump on Dallas's bandwagon (including Chris Christie) the more I think they are going to lose, and probably go down in flames while doing so.

Last week: 2-2 (4 points)
Season: 43-46 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-10)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (15-19)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (14-14)

Fuck Football, He Should Have Been on the Swim Team

Former Syracuse running back Rob Konrad survived a boating accident by swimming 9 miles to shore. Somehow he fell out of the boat (he was fishing alone) and couldn't get back to it (it was on autopilot). He left at 10am and his friends noticed he was missing when he didn't show up for dinner so they contacted the Coast Guard which sent a helicopter to look for him. Police found him on the beach at 4:40am when he somehow contacted them. He was treated for hypothermia (he was in the water for 10-12 hours) and was released.

Now We Can Call Her Ma'am Again

Sen. Barbara Boxer will not seek a new term when hers expires in 2016.
This seems like a good time to bring up this famous clip:



This has to be one of the pettiest, nastiest things any human being has ever done in such a public forum.
"I worked so hard to get that title."
Oh yeah bitch, he's a fuckin general in the Army. I'm pretty sure that was a harder title to attain.
And by the way, in the military, ma'am is how you show respect for a female superior.

Mrs. Poop is So Immature

Mrs. Poop asked me to take this picture of her in front of Animal Kingdom at Disney World.

Song of the Week

"Coco" - OT Genasis
It shows you how bad hip-hop music has become that this is the best thing out there right now.

The Universe Thinks My Art Sucks

As most of you know, The Poops moved into a new house this summer, we actually bought it just a couple days after Mrs. Poop's birthday.
Because we don't normally exchange big gifts, and we were spending a lot of money on the house, repairs, additional furnishings etc, I decided a gift heavy on sentiment, light on cost would be ideal.

So I drew Mrs. Poop a picture of our new abode.

Looks pretty good compared to the original though right?

But evidently the Universe didn't think my artwork is good enough because the gift from our realtor, sitting on the shelf the day we closed, was this picture of the house, drawn by a professional.

Ok, I readily admit it is better, but mine was drawn with love and colored with crayons.

And since then we've had the house re-sided, and it looks completely different.

Booyah!

I did not like Stuart Scott. I met him once, he seemed like a nice guy but I didn't really know him. All I knew of him was his on-air persona, which I hated.
I hated his ridiculous catchphrases and his jock-sniffing. And I almost never watched him.
I didn't watch the ESPYs and although I knew he had cancer, I didn't realize how close to death he was.
I was genuinely shocked and saddened by the news when I heard it.
The more I read and saw about it, I do admire the way he handled his battle and I respect him as a man.
And he was very nice and cool and funny when I met him during my Stump the Schwab appearance.
But as a SportsCenter anchor he sucked.

Weekly Picks

Now is the time to make up for a mediocre (maybe bad) regular season. 11 in a row here we come.

arizona +6 1/2 CAROLINA
I was waiting for this for months when it became evident that a bad team would be hosting a playoff game and everyone would say "remember the Seahawks!" when they were 7-9 and beat a much better Saints team in the first round. But then every Cardinals QB got hurt and the Panthers defense came to life. But maybe the Cardinals can pull this off or at least keep it close.

baltimore +3 PITTSBURGH
These games never go how you think they should. Plus, I'm pretty sure the Steelers will win by 3 and everyone loses.

DALLAS -6 1/2 detroit
Hard to believe in either of these teams based on past performance. This is a lot of points but the Lions just don't seem like a team that has figured out how to win big games.

BEST BET
INDIANAPOLIS -3 1/2 cincinnati
I gave the Bengals the benefit of the doubt here on the spread because I don't want two pushes marring the weekend. Eventually someday Andy Dalton may play a good playoff game. But I don't think that's going to be today. Andrew Luck should be able to will his team to victory.

Last week: 2-3 (4 points)
Season: 41-44 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (7-10)
Home Favorites: 1-2 (14-18)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (13-13)

Song of the Week

"Call My Name" - Avery Sunshine
The quintessential neo-soul jam. Smooth, well-sung, with feeling and emotion.
I wish Mrs. Poop and I had more problems in our marriage so I could dedicate songs like this to her.
A great way to end 2014.

What Do You Give Me For?

What do you give me for the extruder tool in the Play-Doh Cake Mountain play set and...oh never mind.

Why Does Jim Boeheim Have To Be Such An Asshole?

Last year I actually defended Jim Boeheim when the rest of the world was calling him an asshole for his unvarnished assessment of Tyler Ennis's pro potential.
But I can no longer defend him for making nasty comments about his own players.
About freshman point guard Kaleb Joseph, Boeheim said "He's just not really a point guard yet. He's trying to learn how to play point. It's going to take a long time, too."
If you evaluate this statement based on how true it is, it could be fair and accurate for an outsider to say, but it's totally rude, insulting and counterproductive for a coach to say this about his own player.
And even worse is what he said about Chris McCullough who was projected by some (though not Boeheim) as a potential lottery pick in the upcoming NBA Draft: "He's a lottery pick, I don't know how he could possibly struggle against Colgate. It just doesn't make sense to me. I've got a better chance of winning the lottery and I don't buy tickets."
There is absolutely no reason for him to be so rude, condescending and downright insulting about someone for whom Boeheim plays a large role in his success. Why is he constantly tearing down his own players in the media? Does he think they're arrogant and need to be taken down a few pegs so he can build them back up? He's not a drill sergeant so more likely he's just an asshole who doesn't care about the players.

NFL Playoff Predictions

AFC:
Ravens over Steelers
Colts over Bengals

Patriots over Ravens
Colts over Broncos

Patriots over Colts

NFC:
Panthers over Cardinals
Cowboys over Lions

Packers over Cowboys
Seahawks over Panthers

Packers over Seahawks

Super Bowl XLIX
Green Bay Packers 27 New England Patriots 21

Weekly Picks

Final week before the playoffs and it's always hard to tell which teams are going to come to play, because you'd just expect the out of it teams to lie down like dogs for the teams that still have something to play for, but it doesn't always work that way.

MIAMI -6 1/2 new york jets
Last week was the final valiant effort under Rex Ryan. Seems only fitting for his era to end with an embarrassing loss.

MINNESOTA -6 1/2 chicago
I actually like the way the Vikings have been playing and the Bears are in complete chaos. Cutler got benched, Clausen got cheap-shotted and concussed and now Cutler is back. Not expecting his best game.

new orleans -4 TAMPA BAY
Even thought the Saints never showed up when it mattered, I don't think they will lie down in this game and they have plenty of talent to beat the ExpensiveCornPrices by 5 points or more.

arizona +6 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
The QB injuries make the Cardinals one of the weirdest teams in NFL history. They're nearly touchdown underdogs against a bad team in game in which they could possibly clinch homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

BEST BET
GREEN BAY -7 DETROIT
I just don't see any way in hell the Packers don't dominate this game considering how much their Super Bowl chances will decrease should they lose.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 39-41 (35 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-10)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (13-16)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (12-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (12-13)

Song of the Week

"December" - Earth Wind & Fire
They literally changed two words from "September."

Digital Good Samaritan

Trusted friend, caring sister, beloved Aunt and former shaving products magnate Razor is adding a new title to her long list of superlatives, she is now a digital good Samaritan. Over the weekend she found instagram posts threatening the police like one from "Woodgramflexinn" which said he was on his way to New York to kill two more cops. She forwarded it to a tipline for the NYPD, which then alerted authorities in his area (Tennessee) which went to the guy's house and determined the threat was not serious. The Fox affiliate in Memphis contacted Razor and eventually wrote this article about the incident.

Weekly Picks

I'm really disappointed because I was going to pick the Bengals as my best bet last week because I really don't believe in Johnny Football as an NFL QB. I feel the same way I did about Tebow, great college player who won't translate. He can throw better than Tebow but has less size and almost none of the intangibles, not that I really care too much about intangibles.

CAROLINA -4 cleveland
I'm actually a little concerned here because I think everyone is going to pick against Cleveland and I really think Manziel is going to be better, because he can't be worse. But Carolina actually has something to play for and the spread is not that big.

atlanta +6 NEW ORLEANS
I don't trust the Saints to do what they're supposed to do. Especially at home this year, which seems weird.

SEATTLE -8 1/2 arizona
I find that whenever a spread seems too big because of an injury or something, the favorite usually covers anyway. My only concern about this pick is agreeing with Mike Francesa. Of Ryan Lindley he said, "I don't want to pick on the kid but -- he stinks! He's terrible."

new england -10 NEW YORK JETS
You don't think Bill Belichick wants to shove it up Rex's ass in their last-ever meeting as head coaches?

BEST BET
green bay -11 tampa bay
Another huge spread, especially for a road team, but I like to ride with the teams that disappointed the previous week. And I really do believe the Packers are the best team in the NFL.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 36-39 (31 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-10)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (12-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-10)
Road Underdogs: 2-1 (11-13)