Weekly Picks

Another good week, two fives in a row, and a late touchdown robbed us of a perfect 6. The only problem is, I don't love any of the games this week.

ATLANTA -6 houston
I already like the way the Falcons were playing with a great offense and Julio Jones and a big comeback against the Cowboys. But then I saw that the spread on this game moved heavy towards Houston throughout the week. I enjoy going against the crowd.

carolina -3 TAMPA BAY
I hate picking all these 3-0 teams to keep winning but I really think this line is just too attractive.

CHICAGO +3 oakland
Ok, this might seem crazy but I am going on on a limb here because the Bears looked so bad and all of the sudden everyone loves the Raiders. Again, bucking the crowd here.

SAN DIEGO -6 1/2 cleveland
Ok, let's take one more bad team. The Chargers are 1-2 and giving up a lot of points at home, but I think the Browns are a pretty weak opponent.

BEST BET
ARIZONA -6 1/2 st. louis
The rest of the world is starting to wake up to how good the Cardinals are. I hate this spread. Hate it. But the Cards have been killing people and I don't see any better options out there.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 10-5 (11 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-1)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (4-0)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (5-4)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (1-0)

Song of the Week

"September Morn" - Neil Diamond

Weekly Picks

One of the craziest weeks in recent history, the top 6 teams in ESPN.com's eliminator pool all lost (Saints, Ravens, Dolphins, Colts, Rams & Titans) knocking out 87% of the field, but I avoided most of those games.

But here's where the hard part comes in. First off, in order to do well in this format you need to string together strong weeks, can't go 1 and 1. Also, you know I love good teams coming off a loss, and bad teams coming off a win, but not all the matchups turned out the way I would have liked them.

atlanta -1 DALLAS
I normally don't pick against a team solely because they lost their quarterback, because I feel the impact is generally overrated. But I feel like the Cowboys at 2-0 and a couple lucky wins at that, could be in trouble this week.

indianapolis -3 TENNESSEE
The Colts have to turn this around? Don't they?

ARIZONA -6 1/2 san francisco
I really like the Cardinals and continue to hate the 49ers.

SEATTLE -14 1/2 chicago
I know Seattle is going to win this game. The only question is, will they win by enough. I think the answer is yes.

BEST BET
philadelphia +1 NEW YORK JETS
I know this pick is going to upset some of you but this is exactly what I want, a team that seems like the world is ending, against a team that is suddenly hot. The Eagles offense can't possibly be this bad and the Jets are not this good. They are benefiting from 10 turnovers so far, that cannot continue.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 6-4 (6 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (2-0)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (4-3)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)

I Better Go To His Funeral

Or he won't come to mine.

Yogi Berra passed away at age 90 and he will best be remembered for his funny one-liners and malaprops.

"My wife said he took my son to see Dr. Zhivago. I said 'what's wrong with him now?'"

"No one goes there anymore, it's too crowded."

"Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical."

It's like deja vu all over again."

"I didn't say all those things they said I said."

And of course "it ain't over til it's over."

As much as I love a funny quip, I am saddened that his humor overshadowed what was an incredible baseball career.
From 1950 through 1956, Berra posted WARs of 6.0, 5.3, 5.8, 5.4, 5.9, 5.2 and 6.4.
In 1950, he played 151 out of 154 games, making 656 plate appearances and striking out only 12 times. That's 1.8% strikeout rate. In 2015, Daniel Murphy has the lowest strikeout rate in the majors at 6.9%.

But we have a policy here at The Poop to post something ridiculous or trivial about people when they die. So here is Yogi Berra in a Miller Lite commercial from 1987, alongside a young Jason Alexander.

Song of the Week

"Cool for the Summer" - Demi Lovato
Can someone please tell me what this song is about?

Weekly Picks

The hot start I was hoping for did not materialize as my Bill Cosby (sleeper) team, the Vikings, let me down. And San Francisco which is starting 21 new players after everyone from last year's team except Colin Kaepernick left or retired, shocked me as well. No time to lick our wounds, another slate of games is upon us.

new england -2 1/2 BUFFALO
As you know by now, I place very little value on intangibles like Rex Ryan's attitude, or the Patriots wanting to come out hot in week 1 to stick in to the league. I believe in Tom Brady vs. Tyrod Taylor. Taylor may well turn into the black Tom Brady someday, but he's gonna have to prove it to me first.

tennessee -1 1/2 CLEVELAND
This is a tricky one for me because I know Mariota is not going to play like that again. But this is a pick against Manziel. He is not a NFL level starting QB. He's very Tebow-like in his ability, great college player, not NFL-caliber.

arizona -2 CHICAGO
I really like the Cardinals offense and hate just about everything about the Bears.

PITTSBURGH -6 1/2 san francisco
I'll give picking against the 49ers one more chance.

BEST BET
CAROLINA -3 houston
Maybe I put a little too much faith in the Texans defense. It can't be a good sign that they changed QBs after one week.

Last week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 2-3 (1 point)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (0-0)
Home Underdogs: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 2-2 (2-2)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)

3000 Words

A high school football field in Illinois was treated with weed killer and not fertilizer.

A seal hitches a ride on the back of a humpback whale.

Former President Jimmy Carter and his wife Rosalyn share a smooch on "Kiss Cam" during an Atlanta Braves game.

Song of the Week

"I Do" - The Marvelows
Classic doo-wop song. Took me a long time to track down the name of it with only these lyrics "do I love you? I do (doo-doo doo-doo)" in my head.

Weekly Picks

Each new season provides a new opportunity. An opportunity for what? That remains to be seen. I haven't been doing well the past few seasons but I trust this is my year to turn it around.

indianapolis -2 1/2 BUFFALO
The Colts are my Super Bowl pick and Andrew Luck is my MVP. And Buffalo doesn't have a QB anywhere close.

carolina -3 JACKSONVILLE
The Jaguars are still really bad, thought I don't love the Panthers this year I do think they are better than the Jags.

HOUSTON +1 kansas city
I don't like Alex Smith going up against this defense. Though with Foster and without a real QB, the Texans might have trouble scoring.

green bay -7 CHICAGO
This is a pretty big spread but I trust the Packers to put up enough points to cover.

BEST BET
minnesota -2 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
Pretty sure the 49ers have 100% turnover rate on their roster from last season, and no Harbaugh either. The Vikings are my Bill Cosby (sleeper) pick this year thanks to Teddy PuenteAgua (Spanish for Bridgewater).

The Matt Harvey Mess

"Pitchers recovering from Tommy John surgery should limit innings to 180-185." - Dr. James Andrews, the man who invented Tommy John surgery "Pitchers recovering from Tommy John surgery should shut up and act like a man.' - Asshole Sports Radio Caller


Whom would you listen to?

Matt Harvey is doing exactly the right thing here for his own future and the future of the franchise. He's not being greedy or selfish, and even if he were, can you blame him? Stay healthy and pretty much assure yourself a huge contract or ignore doctor's advice and risk not only all that money but also everything you've worked for your entire life.

Now there are a couple problems here, but I don't know exactly who deserves how much of the blame.
First of all, why wasn't a clear and coherent plan made from spring training? Were the Mets expecting to be out of it by September at which point they could just shut him down? Was Harvey suddenly feeling tired and asking for time off?
We'll probably never know but I would suspect the Mets are more worthy of blame than Harvey.

And those idiotic Mets fans who want him traded are exactly the fans I fear the team is listening to when doing or almost doing things like signing Cuddyer or trading Flores and Wheeler for Carlos Gomez.

Matt Harvey is the centerpiece of what could be one of the greatest rotations we've seen in a long time, if they stay health and stay together.
The Mets need to do everything they can to protect him even if it means lessening their chances to win a few regular season games.

But come playoff time I think Harvey and the Mets would be willing to take their chances and push themselves 15-20 innings past the doctor prescribed limit, if that's ok with all the doctors in the stands at CitiField.

2015 NFL Season Predictions

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: Denver Broncos
AFC Wild Cards: Miami Dolphins, Baltimore Ravens

AFC Championship: Indianapolis over New England

NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: Seattle Seahawks
NFC Wild Cards: St. Louis Rams, Minnesota Vikings

NFC Championship: Green Bay over Philadelphia

Super Bowl: Indianapolis over Green Bay

Off. Player of the Year: Andrew Luck
Def. Player of the Year: JJ Watt
Off. Rookie of the Year: Melvin Gordon
Def. Rookie of the Year: Randy Gregory
Coach of the Year: Mike Zimmer
Comeback Player of the Year: Sam bradford

The Old Dog's Still Got It

I hope I'm this spry when I'm 77.

Song of the Week

"Get Right Back To My Baby" - Vivian Green
Excellent use of a sample from "Before I Let Go" (SOTW, 3/21/12) by Frankie Beverly and Maze.
Plus I don't remember Vivian looking this good in her previous videos.

Another Redskins Embarrassment

The city of Washington took a break from obsessing over the future of RGIII (at this point he has none) for some good old gossip.
Here's what happened, Jessica McCloughan, the wife of GM Scott McCloughan

sent a couple nasty messages to a local reporter, Dianna Russini, on Twitter.

She asked Russini how many blow jobs she gave to get a story

And she accused Russini of sleeping with her husband.

The Redskins made her apologize, which she did, but a family member said she has been long suspicious of an affair between her husband and Russini.

Have You Ever Loved Something This Much?

Through various TV shows and stuff Jules has become quite interested in Star Wars and I showed them "A New Hope" and they loved it.
Since then, the countdown has been on for the new movie.

I took the kids to a special Star Wars event at the Disney Store. It was quite cool. The taught the kids to use Jedi Mind tricks to trick a storm trooper, and eventually they received the Medal of Bravery from the Galactic Republic.

Note: I did my parental duty and reminded them of the racial injustice that denied Chewbacca his rightful medal.

After that, they learned to draw R2-D2 (neither of them follows in my artistic footsteps) and were given a cardboard 3-d puzzle of Artoo (which was very difficult to put together).

It was quite cool to be let into the mall an hour early for this special event (mainly because we got a good parking spot), but the real goal was to get the big shoppers into the store.

Ever since we saw the first trailer for "The Force Awakens" Julian loved BB-8, the roly poly new droid, though he kept calling him "BBQ."
He said he liked him "because he's cute like me!"

So I bought him a stuffed action figure, and bought Chase the figurine set.

And for the rest of the day he carried around this little BB-8 everywhere saying "I'm obsessed with him."

And then when Mrs. Poop went to check on him during the night, this is what she saw.

I wish I could get back to those innocent days of childhood when a ten dollar toy provided so much joy and happiness that I couldn't bear to be away from it, not even for a second, not even while sleeping.

Incidentally the other BB-8 we saw while we were in the store was fuckin awesome.

It's very similar to a remote control car, except you use an app through your phone to move it around the house. And it does cool things like create a map of your house based on things it runs into, including you. And it can even play messages hologram style, I think.

Read the review to understand more.

Only problems: it costs $150, and Julian would want to sleep with it in his bed.

3000 Cars

This is the fleet of cars required for Saudi Arabia's King Salman's visit to Washington:

Another Hit To Personal Responsibility

The New England Patriots' balls were deflated in the AFC Championship game. It is almost certain that this was due to purposeful actions by members of organization. And it's hard to envision any scenario in which someone would do something like that without at the very least, being sure Tom Brady would want it that way.

The problem here with Roger Goodell is that he tried to make a statement. Instead of enforcing the penalties on the books for such an offense, he went way beyond what was collectively bargained (perhaps to dispel criticism that he is too hard on black players, perhaps because of negative publicity when he went with the defined punishment for Ray Rice) and a judge ruled he didn't have the authority to do so.

Yet somehow, Tom Brady is escaping this scot-free even though any sane person has to believe he at least "generally aware" of the plot to deflate the balls, and likely more involved in that.

Which once again reinforces the preferred attitude when doing something wrong: deny it, cover it up and when you get caught, blame the person who caught you for being overzealous. Worked for Bill Clinton.

Song of the Week

"Day One" - Tamia
"If I could do it all again I would
Give me the bad days along with the good
My heart is even more in love
Then it was on day one"

What Do You Give Me For? Harris Faulkner and Harris Faulkner, The Hamster

Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner is suing Hasbro for using her name for her a hamster in its Littlest Pet Shop series of toys.
"Hasbro's portrayal of Faulkner as a rodent is demeaning and insulting," says the lawsuit, which was filed Monday in U.S. District Court in New Jersey.
Her lawsuit says that in addition to sharing her name, the toy bears a physical resemblance to Faulkner's traditional professional appearance, including its complexion, eye shape and eye makeup design.

I don't agree that it looks like her, but no way should Hasbro have used her the exact name of a public figure. She doesn't deserve $5M for this but Hasbro should have known better.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Maybe I'm going soft in my old age but I actually feel sorry for Markus Persson, the guy who created Minecraft, sold it and pocketed roughly a billion dollars in the process.
Persson, known as Notch to cool people like me, recently tweeted a series of unhappy thoughts about life as a famous billionaire.
"The problem with getting everything is you run out of reasons to keep trying, and human interaction becomes impossible due to imbalance.
Hanging out in ibiza with a bunch of friends and partying with famous people, able to do whatever I want, and I've never felt more isolated.
In sweden, I will sit around and wait for my friends with jobs and families to have time to do shit, watching my reflection in the monitor.
When we sold the company, the biggest effort went into making sure the employees got taken care of, and they all hate me now.
Found a great girl, but she's afraid of me and my life style and went with a normal person instead.
I would Musk and try to save the world, but that just exposes me to the same type of assholes that made me sell Minecraft again."

Half the internet thinks he is clinically depressed and needs medication and talk therapy. The other half thinks he's a whiny little baby who should shut up and realize how good he has it.

But on my little corner of the internet I think he's just a guy going through some things that he doesn't know how to process.
He probably never wanted to sell Mojang (Minecraft), but did so because it would greatly enrich his partners, investors and employees.
He's just lacking direction and purpose in his life right now.
He probably has a great time at these fancy parties and hanging out with his cool famous friends (Zedd tweeted at him and invited him to his show when he plays LA next month) but when he's at home and his friends are busy with work and family, he gets lonely and feels isolated. And in this case he decided to let it out.

This is Markus Persson's house. He paid 70 million dollars for it.

But I think we need to remember that in life you need a certain amount of money to live a comfortable life. But once you have food and shelter covered, and some money to buy stuff and go on vacation, each additional dollar like has a very small incremental impact on your happiness.

So I do feel for Notch, and hope that he can find something to fulfill him, give him worth and help him make meaningful personal relationships.