Shaq Can't Spell

Shaq tries to talk smack about Steph Curry being the NBA's first unanimous MVP but he doesn't quite get the spelling correct.

Song of the Week

"Hot Child in the City" - Nick Gilder

Song of the Week

"Looking Through Patient Eyes" - PM Dawn

When I read that Attrell Cordes aka Prince Be the Nocturnal, half the brother duo that made up PM Dawn, died, I immediately wanted to pay tribute with a Song of the Week. But I couldn't pick "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss" (SOTW, 5/23/12) because it had already been SOTW.
So it was between this and "Die Without You" and I just happen to like this one a little better. I think it shows off what made them unique, no one was singing songs like this back then.
Prince Be was only 46 when he died, meaning he was only 21, 22, 23 when the group had its greatest success. Sorry the second half of his life didn't work out as well, at least professionally, and sorry 23 years amounts to half his life.

Luckily There Was No Mayo Truck in the Vicinity

A truck carrying deli meat crashed into a bread truck on 287 in Piscataway, NJ, spilling the contests of both trucks onto the roadway.

Disappointment

It's been a rough sporting year in the Poop household as the Mets lost the World Series, Syracuse got beaten in the Final Four, the Redskins lost a playoff game at home and now our adopted NBA team, the Golden State Warriors loses a heart-breaking Game 7 of the NBA Finals.
A lot of excitement got us to that point, but all four magical runs ended in disappointment.

Note: I am a Knicks fan. Chase still insists he is a Knicks fan. But Stephen Curry and the Warriors are so much fun to watch, it's a much better introduction to the game of basketball for a young fan than watching the Knicks lose would be.

All season we recorded late night Warriors games and watched them the next day. Throughout the playoffs, I watched the games, recorded them and Chase watched the second half before school.

The boys stayed up to watch Game 7, and ended up going to bed in tears.

A few thoughts:

1) Stephen Curry played like garbage in the Finals, especially during Game 7. It wasn't just his poor shooting, which was his most glaring weakness. It was his lack of urgency and his ball-handling that seemed like it belonged in a February game against Sacramento, not Game 7 of the Finals against LeBron.

I couldn't find any good pictures to prove it but I am pretty sure that Curry's shooting form was off. He used to have perfect form, straight up and down, head over feet. Many times during the playoffs, and especially the Finals he seemed to be shooting while leaning forward. Maybe it's his knee injury, maybe it's fatigue, maybe he just got out of wack, but he just didn't seem right.

2) This game doesn't tarnish the Warriors legacy, much. They are a great team, NBA champs, 73 wins, return trip to the Finals. A couple more years of this and they're right up there with the Jordan Bulls, Russell Celtics, Wilt Lakers as the best teams of all time.

3) It does tarnish Curry's legacy. He came up small in the biggest game of his career. And he wasn't so great in last year's Finals, either.

4) It absolutely does cement LeBron's legacy. He has 3 NBA titles, six straight years in the Finals, and he made a legendary all-time play with his block on Iguodala to preserve the game. He is definitely in the top 5 all-time with Jordan, Magic, Russell and Wilt.

5) I guess I'm the only one who roots for these long championship droughts to continue. I like it, it adds an extra story line and drama. Now no one cares when the Red Sox are in the World Series. And who really cares about San Diego as a loser city, they only have two teams and nice weather. Having Cleveland and their near misses to talk about made it interesting whenever they got close.

There's Some People Even 300 Pounds of Weight Loss Can't Help

Actor Ron Lester died after suffering liver and kidney failure.
Lester became famous as the 500-pound offensive lineman, Billy Bob, in "Varsity Blues."

But as I reported in 2008, Lester had bariatric surgery and lost roughly 300 pounds.

But perhaps the damage was done. Poor Billy Bob.

Song of the Week

"I Got a Story To Tell" - Notorious B.I.G.
A few years ago, the internet tried to pinpoint the exact date of the good day described in Ice Cube's classic "It Was a Good Day" (SOTW, 4/25/07), and while I never want to let logic and reason get in the way of something so fun and fascinating, the truth is there was no singular "day" where all that great stuff happened. It was an imagined day, or a composite of previous good days. It wasn't literal.
Well now the internet has gone crazy again ever since Dan LeBaturd asked Fat Joe which Knicks player Biggie was talking about in this song.



Sean Combs later confirmed Fat Joe's assertion that the song was about Anthony Mason.

But we should remember, it doesn't mean whatever actually happened, is anything close to what is described in this song, because of course, we know that basketball games don't get rained out.

Whole Lotta Problems

An FDA inspector visited a Whole Foods plant in Massachusetts.
Here are the findings, as recorded in a letter from the FDA to the company:

On February 10, 2016, you were mixing ready to eat pesto pasta directly under an area in the Assembly Room where condensate from ceiling joints was dripping onto the surface below.
On February 16, 2016, you were storing an uncovered rack of ready to eat mushroom quesadilla in the same area of the Assembly Room where condensate from ceiling joints was dripping onto the surface below.
On February 10, 2016, your employee transported uncovered ready to eat vegetables through a doorway, from the Veg Prep Room into the Prepared Veg Cooler. A significant amount of condensate had formed above the doorway and was dripping onto the surface below.
On February 10, 2016, your employee was cutting chives and beets on a work surface directly underneath a leaking condensate drainage pipe in the Veg Prep Room.
On February 16, 2016, you were holding uncovered ready to eat egg salad in large white barrels that were placed in an area below the condenser. Condensate was observed to be dripping at a rate of approximately once per second from the condenser fan bolts in the K8/K9 Room.
On February 16, 2016, your employee transported uncovered ready to eat couscous through an area in the K8/K9 Room where condensate was dripping from an area around the condenser fan bolts at a rate of approximately once per second.
On February 10, 16, & 18, 2016, you were holding ready to eat vegetables, utensils such as cutting boards, mandolins, stainless colanders and yellow plastic totes in close proximity to hand a washing station in the Veg Prep Room. The hand washing station does not have splash guards and is foot operated releasing water from the faucets with significant pressure causing water to splash outside the sink while employees were observed washing soiled hands. Water splashed onto covered and uncovered ready to eat vegetables, utensils and food containers.
On February 16, 2016, your employee measured the strength of peracetic acid from the faucet in the Veg Prep Room with an (b)(4) Peracetic Acid test strip that indicated its strength over 160 ppm (maximum level on the test strip). This concentration exceeds the maximum level recommended by the (b)(4) product information sheet and the maximum level allowed under 21 CFR Part 173.315(a) (5) for use of peracetic acid for surface treatment and soaking and rinsing of vegetables.
On February 16, 2016, your employee was performing multiple tasks in the Pre-Pack Room including filling and weighing ready to eat egg salad in retail packs. The employee was observed cleaning and directly contacting work surfaces and then packaging and handling exposed product without hand washing or changing gloves in between tasks.
On February 16, 2016, your employee in the Bulk-Pack Room was observed assembling bulk cartons while also packaging exposed ready to eat quinoa cakes without hand washing or changing gloves in between tasks.
On February 16, 2016, your employee in the Pre-Pack Room was spraying (b)(4) quaternary ammonium based sanitizer to clean work surfaces while another employee in close proximity was packaging exposed ready to eat mesculin salad. This resulted in the sanitizer being sprayed onto an open colander of salad leafy greens.
On February 16, 2016, your employee’s unprotected upper sleeves were frequently touching ready to eat leafy salad greens as leafy salad greens were packaged into retail packs in the Pre-Pack Room.

So a lot of it is about a drippy air conditioner, and most of it is minor, but I admire the detail. Here's a government employee working hard for the people.

Tom Hanks is Obtuse

A few months ago in response to Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" (SOTW, 2/24/16), JLeary pointed out a previously unknown to me line from "You've Got Mail." Tom Hanks's character says "I could never be with someone who likes Joni Mitchell."



He goes on to quote from one of Mitchell's other big hits "Both Sides Now." He said "it's clouds illusions I recall, I really don't know clouds at all." And then he goes on to ponder whether it's a metaphor for something.

Before I go on, I should say that this is the only (I think) song that has been SOTW twice, once for the Neil Diamond version (SOTW, 12/27/06) and again for Canadian Cutie Carley Rae Jepsen's rendition (SOTW, 3/18/15).

Now back to the clouds. It's not a metaphor. She looks at clouds and sees all kind of neat shapes. Then she looks at them again and ponders their role in weather and how it disrupts her life. But when she thinks back on clouds, she recalls the illusions, the angel hair and feather canyons.

She goes on to take the same incisive view of life and love, noting that like clouds, both have good sides, fun dreamy sides, but also a negative side.

And after all that thinking, she really doesn't know clouds, life or love, at all.

Another Thing JJ Watt and I Have in Common

I've been coaching Chase's youth baseball team this season and one day the other team decided not to show up. So we improvised and played parents versus kids. I planned to run have speed station-to-station, but I got up and ripped one to center, as I rounded first, the ball was rolling down a hill in the outfield so I decided to turn on the jets and try for a home run.

And boom! I felt something pull in the back of my right leg. I did get the home run, but a few days later I was left with this nasty bruise on the back of my leg.

It didn't hurt to the touch, but it felt tight for about two weeks afterwards.

When it finally healed, I decided to teach the kids a lesson about base running and not throwing the ball all over the field once a runner had already reached base. I took off running to first and felt that same feeling again, only this time in the other leg.

This incident reminded me of an old post from when JJ Watt suffered a similar injury.

It's still not clear what happened to him, whether he suffered a pulled muscle or it's just a horrible bruise, the type you could possibly sustain if a large man falls on top of you in the wrong way. But I am sure he handled it with the same toughness and I exhibited with mine.

Song of the Week

"Walkin' in the Rain With the One I Love" - Love Unlimited

Baseball Been Berry Berry Good to Me

When Roberto Clemente first came up with the Pittsburgh Pirates reporters coined him "Bobby" and frequently tried to embarrass him by spelling phonetically the things he said. Sentences like "I heet the boll..." actually appeared in newspapers.
But that was 50 years ago. That would never happen in our more sensitive culture now.
Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez (whose phantom injury sent the Mets to the World Series last year) did an interview with Houston Chronicle columnist Brian T. Smith in English, even though Gomez doesn't speak the language very well.
Here's what Smith wrote in the newspaper:

"For the last year and this year, I not really do much for this team. The fans be angry. They be disappointed."

Gomez thinks his exact quote was used that way to embarrass him.

You don't need to be an English major to figure that out.

I Would Have Shot the Parents Too

The tragic death of Harambe the gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo is the direct result of negligence by the parents of the child who ended up in the gorilla enclosure.

Yes accidents happen. Small children do things and go places they are not supposed to. But any good parent would have rounded up their child before they even thought of getting close enough to the gorilla enclosure to fall in.
As sad as I am about the death of the gorilla I feel the Zoo had no other choice. A tranquilizer dart wouldn't work fast enough on an animal that large. Entering the enclosure, even a trained professional could have frightened the animal.
They did what they could to do save the child's life. Now if they could only do something about his parents.

I Hope We Find Them a Nice Warm Jail

A bison calf had to be put down after a pair of tourists to Yellowstone National Park put the animal in their car because they thought he was cold.

The idiots took him away from his herd, and efforts to reunite him were unsuccessful and he had to be euthanized for his safety and the safety of others because he kept approaching people and cars.

The tourists, who are not American, say they found him alone, thought he was freezing and wanted to drive him to a park facility.

That's bullshit. I don't know if they wanted to take him home, or just have a good instagram picture of a bison calf in their rental car but everyone knows you don't fuck with nature.

The park rangers said the tourists thought they were caring for the animal. I am not forgiving. They should be prosecuted.

Who Looks Like Whom?

Chase on the left, Julian in the middle and Lincoln on the right. All pictures from 3-5 days after birth.

Brothers Don't Shake Hands

Definitely the best part of having a new baby is seeing how the big brothers are reacting.
The first night we had him home Chase said to me "I don't know why, but I just love him so much."
And we sometimes find Julian randomly sitting near Lincoln's seat or bassinet with his book or his iPad, just looking at him, being near him.

Mrs. Poop bought these shirts with their names on them, as a set, before we 100% decided on the name. Good thing we stuck with our first choice.

Song of the Week

"Keep You in Mind" - Guordan Banks
Love finding a good, lesser-known R&B/soul singer.

Never Gets Old

Here he is, Lincoln Diesel
Born 5/24/16 at 10:23 am
Weighing at 10 pounds 4 ounces and standing 21 and a quarter inches tall

Even though this is the third time we've done it, it doesn't get less exciting or less cool.
It may even be more fun because we have the added dimension of the big brothers and their excitement.
Also the nerves and fears you have with your first are basically gone by the time you get to number 3.
Plus, research shows third kids usually turn out the best.

Song of the Week

"The Name Game" - Shirley Ellis
Quite possibly, the worst and dumbest song that ever made Song of the Week. But if you listen, you may figure out why I chose it.

The Gnome Knows

I went to two Mets games last August and I learned something important at each:
On August 2nd, I learned that Julian loved Thor aka Noah Syndergaard.
On August 29th, I learned that if you wanted to get a promotional giveaway you need to get there early, or spend a lot of money to buy it on eBay.

As soon as we heard the Mets were giving away Noah Syndergaard-en Gnomes, we got our tickets.
We gave them the tickets for the 8th night of Hanukkah, so they had been looking forward to it almost as long, and perhaps much more excitedly, than to the arrival of their new brother.

Unfortunately, for the second straight time, a game I looked forward to all winter, became an inconvenience when the time was changed, this time from 7pm to 4pm.
That caused Mrs. Poop to have to miss the communion of her friend's daughter, Chase to miss the second tryout for travel baseball and it came into conflict with the final hours of Passover.

To avoid the traffic, parking fiasco of last year's Jesse Orosco bobblehead day, we left our house 4 hours and 20 minutes before game time.

We arrived at 12:15 for a 4:05 start, and had one hour and 50 minutes until the gates opened. We sat in the car, walked around the parking lot and got on line at the left field gate at 12:45. That's when a man came by and said this gate opens half an hour later than the main gate by Jackie Robinson Rotunda. Gnomes would still be given away, but we'd have half an hour less inside the stadium. So we relocated. At 1:05 PM, a full hour before the gates opened, the lines were so long that I almost doubted whether we would be among the first 15,000 to get them.

We did and the kids loved them.

Because our seats were in left field we watched batting practice along the wall on the Giants side of the field. Relief pitcher Derek Law made two enemies for life by not tossing the ball in his glove into the crowd.

Mrs. Poop was a trouper, toughing it out, from a seated position, at 36 weeks pregnant.

The game started off well, as the Mets scored 2 each in the first and second innings, but then deGrom game up 3 runs to make it close.

But Chase's burgeoning favorite Met (Michael Conforto) homered in the 5th, and Julian's favorite Met (Wilmer Flores -- they share a birthday and a tendency to cry on the field) homered in the 6th and the bullpen held on for a 6-5 win.

The enduring memory of this game will be the gnomes.

I offered the kids to keep one for their room, one in its box in the basement as a collectible, and sell the other 2 (they consistently sell for $80-$100 on eBay) but they the gnomes are way too cool to sell.

Note: One guy was walking the concourse before the game with a $10 bill offering to pay cash for the gnomes. People were laughing in his face.