The arrest report for Mel Gibson's rant after being arrested is available online.
Here are some excerpts:
Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is f****d."
The officer agreed not to cuff Gibson until they walked over to the passenger door of the cop car and the officer opened it. The report says Gibson then said, "I'm not going to get in your car," and bolted to his car. The deputy quickly subdued Gibson, cuffed him and put him inside the patrol car.
Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me."
The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"
The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?"
A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Gibson Statement
“After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the LA County Sheriffs. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person. I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said, and I apologize to anyone who I have offended. Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry. I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health.”
I must say, I don't like the guy but I admire the straight forward nature of his statement. It's nice to see someone take responsibility for their actions for a chance.
I must say, I don't like the guy but I admire the straight forward nature of his statement. It's nice to see someone take responsibility for their actions for a chance.
When Animals Attack
Yesterday while walking the park, about 100 feet or so from our front door, an angry boxer starting barking at Diesel. Diesel barked back but I was able to distract him. As we were walking past, the boxer slipped out of her collar and ran towards Diesel. She nipped at him a couple times, but I didn’t want to panic and start running because I thought that would only make it worse. I tried to keep walking at my pace and get the boxer away from him. The boxer’s owner was yelling frantically the whole time. “Fuckin Dog. I’m done. I’ve had it with this dog.” So I just keep walking and the boxer (Flash) finally calms down and her and Diesel begin sniffing each other as dogs do. So I get to my house, I let Diesel in and tell Kate that Diesel just got attacked. I go back outside and try to leash Flash and bring her back to her owner. Kate is watching me through the window as I unsuccessfully try to corral this beast. I couldn’t get her so I just started walking slowly back to where we first met. Flash followed me with no problems and her owner was there crying, saying “you are such a sweet man.” Then Kate came out with our other leash, thinking it might have been easier to slip over Flash's big boxer head. Flash’s owner said “you touched my heart.” So I tried to explain a few Dog Whisperer techniques to her. She said Flash is a great dog except when she’s on her leash and other dogs are around. I hope Diesel is not traumatized by this incident and maybe I tried too hard to remain calm.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Jesus Can't Get You Out of This One
Oscar-winning actor/director Mel Gibson was arrested in the early hours of this morning, and has now been charged with driving under the influence.
Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office confirms that Gibson, 50, was pulled over while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway. Spokesman Steve Whitmore tells Showbiz Tonight officers on patrol reported Gibson was driving at an “excessively fast speed” and was pulled over for suspicion of DUI.
He was charged with a misdemeanor and posted $5,000 (five thousand) bond.
Will have mugshot when available if it's funny.
Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office confirms that Gibson, 50, was pulled over while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway. Spokesman Steve Whitmore tells Showbiz Tonight officers on patrol reported Gibson was driving at an “excessively fast speed” and was pulled over for suspicion of DUI.
He was charged with a misdemeanor and posted $5,000 (five thousand) bond.
Will have mugshot when available if it's funny.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
What to Do In Staten Island Tonight
Tonight is Chien-Ming Wang bobblehead doll night at Richmond County Bank Ballpark. Wang began his career with the Staten Island Yankees in 2000 and later returned in 2002 after recovering from an injury plagued year in 2001.
The Staten Island Yankees will be immortalizing him by retiring his number, 41. Before tonight's game against Batavia there will be a ceremony honoring Wang.
The first 2000 fans to enter the ballpark will receive a special Chien-Ming Wang Bobble Head that features life-like hair.
If I remember correctly TON was involved in a big SI Yankees project when he worked at SILive, which I believe coincided with Wang's time on Staten Island.
The Staten Island Yankees will be immortalizing him by retiring his number, 41. Before tonight's game against Batavia there will be a ceremony honoring Wang.
The first 2000 fans to enter the ballpark will receive a special Chien-Ming Wang Bobble Head that features life-like hair.
If I remember correctly TON was involved in a big SI Yankees project when he worked at SILive, which I believe coincided with Wang's time on Staten Island.
Poor Tony LaRussa
St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa looks like his dog just died. Res, who inspired a line of stuffed animals sold in the St. Louis area, died recently and the Cardinals' manager said he has been hesitant to talk about the death for about a week.
"He was the greatest dog who ever lived," La Russa said. "I would have liked to have been there to say goodbye."
Res was a 14-year-old black Labrador terrier mix. He gained his nickname because he strolled off a reservation in Arizona and into the Oakland A's clubhouse. La Russa adopted him and the dog, in many ways, came to symbolize the goal of La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation. The stuffed animals raised funds for ARF. A new bronze statue of Res - with a baseball clenched in his teeth - sits on La Russa's desk at Busch Stadium.
More Monkeys
A monkey message I sent to Andy Serwer made it into the Loose Change section at the bottom of his StreetLife column.
The Next Lance
Floyd Landis -- had unusually high testosterone levels in an official anti-doping test during the race, the Phonak cycling team announced Thursday.
The team added Landis will not race again until questions about the test are resolved.
In a written statement, Phonak said, "The Phonak Cycling Team was notified yesterday by the UCI of an unusual level of testosteron/epitestosteron ratio in the test made on Floyd Landis after stage 17 of the Tour de France.
"The team management and the rider were both totally surprised of this physiological result.
"The rider will ask in the upcoming days for the counter analysis to prove either that this result is coming from a natural process or that this is resulting from a mistake in the confirmation.
"In application of the Pro Tour Ethical Code, the rider will not race anymore until this problem is totally clear.
"If the result of the B sample analysis confirms the result of the A sample the rider will be dismissed and will then pass the corresponding endocrinological examinations.
Some people are saying this is just the French trying to take another U.S. rider down a peg. But I think that in a sport that is overrun with doping, the guys that win are never guilty of it? A little hard to believe.
The team added Landis will not race again until questions about the test are resolved.
In a written statement, Phonak said, "The Phonak Cycling Team was notified yesterday by the UCI of an unusual level of testosteron/epitestosteron ratio in the test made on Floyd Landis after stage 17 of the Tour de France.
"The team management and the rider were both totally surprised of this physiological result.
"The rider will ask in the upcoming days for the counter analysis to prove either that this result is coming from a natural process or that this is resulting from a mistake in the confirmation.
"In application of the Pro Tour Ethical Code, the rider will not race anymore until this problem is totally clear.
"If the result of the B sample analysis confirms the result of the A sample the rider will be dismissed and will then pass the corresponding endocrinological examinations.
Some people are saying this is just the French trying to take another U.S. rider down a peg. But I think that in a sport that is overrun with doping, the guys that win are never guilty of it? A little hard to believe.
Sal's Pals are Furious
I'm furious too. A former Paul's Poop favorite, Sal Fasano, has been traded to the evil New York Yankees. It does seem fitting however because Clue Haywood was on the Yankees and his evil demeanor fit in well on the most evil organization in pro sports.
In keeping with the Yankees draconian code, Fasano shaved back his mustache and cut his hair before joining the team.
"You don't know how hard that was," he said. "The jury's still out on the (remaining) mustache."
In keeping with the Yankees draconian code, Fasano shaved back his mustache and cut his hair before joining the team.
"You don't know how hard that was," he said. "The jury's still out on the (remaining) mustache."
The Right Place
Paul's Poop favorite, Kevin Pittsnogle signed a two-year deal with the Boston Celtics.
Pittsnogle, a 6-foot-11 center who is West Virginia's career 3-point leader, was passed over in June's NBA draft.
He played for the Miami Heat in a summer league, and Gansey signed a two-year deal with the Heat.
"Clearly, Kevin's strength is extending defenses with his range. He's big enough and he's got a quick trigger," agent Dan Tobin said. "He's a unique player, somewhat of a specialist at this point. We're trying to expand other areas of his game and I think that's what's going to help him make the transition."
Pittsnogle was reportedly slow and out of shape for the pre-draft period. He also isn't as strong as big men need to be.
I think he'll be a good fit on the Celtics where he will join a storied group of slow white guys, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale & Brian Scalabrine.
Pittsnogle, a 6-foot-11 center who is West Virginia's career 3-point leader, was passed over in June's NBA draft.
He played for the Miami Heat in a summer league, and Gansey signed a two-year deal with the Heat.
"Clearly, Kevin's strength is extending defenses with his range. He's big enough and he's got a quick trigger," agent Dan Tobin said. "He's a unique player, somewhat of a specialist at this point. We're trying to expand other areas of his game and I think that's what's going to help him make the transition."
Pittsnogle was reportedly slow and out of shape for the pre-draft period. He also isn't as strong as big men need to be.
I think he'll be a good fit on the Celtics where he will join a storied group of slow white guys, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale & Brian Scalabrine.
Kiss Cam
One of my favorite stadium features is the Kiss Cam.
The other night in Texas, they put the camera on Alex Rodriguez in the Yankees dugout during the Kiss Cam. He grabbed Andy Phillips and planted one on the top of his head.
Very funny. Nice to see A-Rod showing some personality and not contemplating and overanalyzing everything he does.
Also, nice to see that they did the Kiss Cam without finding a felon on parole.
The other night in Texas, they put the camera on Alex Rodriguez in the Yankees dugout during the Kiss Cam. He grabbed Andy Phillips and planted one on the top of his head.
Very funny. Nice to see A-Rod showing some personality and not contemplating and overanalyzing everything he does.
Also, nice to see that they did the Kiss Cam without finding a felon on parole.
Co-Workers Gotta Hug
After being accused of sexual harassment and fired by ESPN, former "Baseball Tonight" analyst Harold Reynolds said yesterday he doesn't think he did anything wrong and is still hoping to regain his job.
"This was a total misunderstanding," Reynolds told The Post. "My goal is to sit down and get back. To be honest with you, I gave a woman a hug and I felt like it was misinterpreted."
Reynolds declined to give any more details. The woman who accused Reynolds of the sexual harassment is an ESPN co-worker, according to sources.
Still, Reynolds is hopeful ESPN executives will change their minds. Besides being with the network for 11 years, Reynolds had just signed a new six-year contract to remain in Bristol and he recently got married.
Reynolds limited his comments, because he didn't want to go into too many details for fear of saying something that could hurt his chances of reversing ESPN's decision.
ESPN has been vigilant about sexual harassment because it reportedly has been a problem in Bristol for years. In 2000, the book "ESPN: The Uncensored History" reported rampant cases of harassment of women. Most prominently mentioned was Mike Tirico, who was even suspended at one point.
(I read that book. Tirico is a dog. At one point he apparently said to a co-worker, "why don't we get out of here and screw."
Tirico, though, never was fired and now is one of the main faces of the network. This fall, he will be ESPN's new voice for "Monday Night Football." Since the book's release, ESPN has denied its validity.
ESPN is known for giving its top on-air employees warnings. There are many cases where ESPN executives have chosen to provide on-air personnel with second chances.
Last NFL season, Michael Irvin was charged with a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia. Despite Irvin's past problems, he was only suspended for a weekend and that was mostly because he did not immediately report the incident to ESPN executives.
Earlier this baseball season, Rick Sutcliffe conducted a rambling on-air interview while intoxicated. Sutcliffe was only suspended for one game.
"This was a total misunderstanding," Reynolds told The Post. "My goal is to sit down and get back. To be honest with you, I gave a woman a hug and I felt like it was misinterpreted."
Reynolds declined to give any more details. The woman who accused Reynolds of the sexual harassment is an ESPN co-worker, according to sources.
Still, Reynolds is hopeful ESPN executives will change their minds. Besides being with the network for 11 years, Reynolds had just signed a new six-year contract to remain in Bristol and he recently got married.
Reynolds limited his comments, because he didn't want to go into too many details for fear of saying something that could hurt his chances of reversing ESPN's decision.
ESPN has been vigilant about sexual harassment because it reportedly has been a problem in Bristol for years. In 2000, the book "ESPN: The Uncensored History" reported rampant cases of harassment of women. Most prominently mentioned was Mike Tirico, who was even suspended at one point.
(I read that book. Tirico is a dog. At one point he apparently said to a co-worker, "why don't we get out of here and screw."
Tirico, though, never was fired and now is one of the main faces of the network. This fall, he will be ESPN's new voice for "Monday Night Football." Since the book's release, ESPN has denied its validity.
ESPN is known for giving its top on-air employees warnings. There are many cases where ESPN executives have chosen to provide on-air personnel with second chances.
Last NFL season, Michael Irvin was charged with a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia. Despite Irvin's past problems, he was only suspended for a weekend and that was mostly because he did not immediately report the incident to ESPN executives.
Earlier this baseball season, Rick Sutcliffe conducted a rambling on-air interview while intoxicated. Sutcliffe was only suspended for one game.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Big Shock
Lance Bass is Gay
"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything," says Bass, referring to bandmates Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake.
"I didn’t know: Could that be the end of ’N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, ‘Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did," he says speaking about his sexual orientation for the first time with PEOPLE.
Now, after years of keeping his personal life private, the Mississippi-bred, Southern Baptist-reared Bass, 27, is publicly revealing what he first shared with his friends, then his shocked family.
"He took years to really think about how he was going to tell everyone," says his close buddy Fatone, 29, who was the first 'N Sync bandmate to find out Bass is gay. "I back him up 100 percent." Adds Bass’s longtime pal, actress Christina Applegate: "I've always accepted him as who he is. It's about his own serenity at this point."
Bass is in a "very stable" relationship with model-actor-Amazing Race winner Reichen Lehmkuhl, 32, and is developing an Odd Couple-inspired sitcom pilot with Fatone in which his character will be gay.
"The thing is, I’m not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say," he explains of his decision to come out. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life. I'm just happy."
As for why he's talking about this now Bass says, "The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."
"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything," says Bass, referring to bandmates Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake.
"I didn’t know: Could that be the end of ’N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, ‘Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did," he says speaking about his sexual orientation for the first time with PEOPLE.
Now, after years of keeping his personal life private, the Mississippi-bred, Southern Baptist-reared Bass, 27, is publicly revealing what he first shared with his friends, then his shocked family.
"He took years to really think about how he was going to tell everyone," says his close buddy Fatone, 29, who was the first 'N Sync bandmate to find out Bass is gay. "I back him up 100 percent." Adds Bass’s longtime pal, actress Christina Applegate: "I've always accepted him as who he is. It's about his own serenity at this point."
Bass is in a "very stable" relationship with model-actor-Amazing Race winner Reichen Lehmkuhl, 32, and is developing an Odd Couple-inspired sitcom pilot with Fatone in which his character will be gay.
"The thing is, I’m not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say," he explains of his decision to come out. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life. I'm just happy."
As for why he's talking about this now Bass says, "The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."
Whiny Little Homo for $1000, Alex
'Jeopardy!' Champ Ken Jennings Blasts Show
NEW YORK (July 25) - "Jeopardy!" ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show - and dapper host Alex Trebek.
"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.
"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."
Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.
"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."
A call by The Associated Press to "Jeopardy!" spokesman Jeff Ritter was not immediately returned Tuesday.
Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on "Jeopardy!" in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg.
Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.
"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot."'
NEW YORK (July 25) - "Jeopardy!" ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show - and dapper host Alex Trebek.
"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.
"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."
Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.
"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."
A call by The Associated Press to "Jeopardy!" spokesman Jeff Ritter was not immediately returned Tuesday.
Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on "Jeopardy!" in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg.
Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.
"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot."'
You Look Like a Monkey
I must express my extreme gratitude to Georgia Derek for turning me on to the wonderful world of Monk-E-Mails.
Career Builder set it up, so you just go to the site, pick your monkey, dress him up, choose your voice (Paul & Kate are 2 of the 4 choices), then type your short message.
Hilarity ensues.
Career Builder set it up, so you just go to the site, pick your monkey, dress him up, choose your voice (Paul & Kate are 2 of the 4 choices), then type your short message.
Hilarity ensues.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Shotgun Wedding
One of our favorite couples, AJ Hawk and Laura Quinn tied the knot in the Green Bay law offices of Liebmann, Conway, Olejniczak & Jerry. Attorney J. Michael Jerry officiated.
Apparently, this isn't a "don't use Durex" situation, Hawk just wanted to be married before he signed his NFL deal so his new bride could be covered by the team's insurance policy, or some such thing. I guess we'll find out in a few months.
Apparently, this isn't a "don't use Durex" situation, Hawk just wanted to be married before he signed his NFL deal so his new bride could be covered by the team's insurance policy, or some such thing. I guess we'll find out in a few months.
Diesel's Weekend in New England
Diesel had a waterlogged weekend in Connecticut. We let him go swimming in the river with his leash on. Then he sloshed around in a brook behind Kate's parents neighbors house. Then he found a pond at Kate's friends house. Only one of her dogs (Freckles) would go in with Diesel. Wolfie was too scared so her supervised from the bank.
He loves the water so much that as we were getting ready to come back to New Jersey, he darted out the door, ran past the car and back into the neighbor's brook.
He loves the water so much that as we were getting ready to come back to New Jersey, he darted out the door, ran past the car and back into the neighbor's brook.
You're Fired
ESPN shitcanned Harold Reynolds with no reason given.
Reynolds was ok on "Baseball Tonight" but a little boring and way too much of an ass kisser.
I don't think either of those things matter at ESPN, so I assume he was banging some white chick who decided to turn him in when he tried to use her back door.
Hey, it brought down Kobe.
Reynolds was ok on "Baseball Tonight" but a little boring and way too much of an ass kisser.
I don't think either of those things matter at ESPN, so I assume he was banging some white chick who decided to turn him in when he tried to use her back door.
Hey, it brought down Kobe.
As Seen On CNN
Fake Weed a Growth Business for Advocate
GREENFIELD, Mass. (AP) -- Joseph White's home office is like a modern-day hippie hangout. Books on Buddhism and yoga mingle with business planners and a laptop computer. An acoustic guitar rests next to a shuffle of sheet music for "Mr. Tambourine Man," just across the room from a fax machine.
And then there are the marijuana stalks. Towering six-footers. Pint-sized plants for personal medical use. He even has a few ripe buds kicking around on a desk, not far from his cell phone.
His stash is for sale, but it won't get you stoned. These lifelike botanicals are made of silk and wood.
Behold, counterfeit cannabis.
During the past two years, White -- a trim 51-year-old with thinning hair and a small stud in his left earlobe -- has rolled his pro-pot activism and business savvy into New Image Plants, a startup company that sells the make-believe marijuana online.
"The business name reflects exactly what I'm trying to do -- create a new image for these plants," he said. "They're beautiful plants and people should be able to enjoy them without fear of arrest."
White won't say whether he smokes pot or has in the past. But he began pushing for marijuana legalization about seven years ago after talking to one of his sons about anti-drug advertising.
"He wanted to know why adults were talking down to kids and trying to scare them," White said. While he doesn't condone the use of marijuana by minors, White rebukes the notion that pot is a harmful drug that inevitably leads to the use of harder drugs.
"Kids know those claims aren't true," White said. "So when they hear an anti-drug message like that, they just discount it."
So he started a nonprofit group in 1999 called Change the Climate, which advocates for the legalization and taxation of marijuana and better education about the drug.
"My vision was that I needed to tell the truth about marijuana," White said.
By getting his artificial plants into private residences and public spaces, White is betting that more people will start appreciating the natural beauty of the real thing's jagged, seven-point leaves, lithe stems and robust buds instead of thinking of marijuana as an evil weed.
His early customers were people looking for gag gifts, party planners in search of unique decorations and law enforcement agencies needing replicas for training missions.
Then Hollywood came calling, and New Image Plants hit a financial high.
In April, White received an order for 355 plants from "Weeds," the Showtime cable television series about a single suburban soccer mom who deals marijuana to support her family.
Julie Bolder, the show's set director, needed to concoct a grow room stocked with what would look like $1 million worth of marijuana. She called White after stumbling on his web site.
"I looked hard to find somebody to make us good weed, and Joe did the best job," Bolder said. White's pot will make it's television debut early in the show's second season, which airs in mid-August.
"All the weed you see on the show is Joe's weed," Bolder said.
The order brought in about $40,000, about five times what White said his company had earned since it sprang up 18 months ago.
Suddenly, the business became bigger than he expected -- or needed.
Along with his continued work for Change the Climate, White is the senior vice president of Share Group, a private organization that offers consulting, fundraising and marketing services to nonprofit organizations, including the American Civil Liberties Union and Planned Parenthood.
He is also the president of another marketing company that works with smaller clients.
Although he isn't relying on New Image Plants as his main source of income, White sees no competition in the mock marijuana market and expects his sales to continue building from the interests of "the hundreds of millions of people who smoke pot and the hundred of millions of people who have no problem with it."
The plants are assembled by White's manufacturing partner in Jupiter, Fla., by workers who attach stems and leaves made from imported Chinese silk to a thin, wooden trunk. The plants are wedged into a pot with a foam base, then topped with moss. The flowering marijuana models that sell for $80 to $190 come with a few buds attached. His hemp models, which do not have flowers, sell for $65 to $150.
Until his order from "Weeds," White's biggest buyers were law enforcement agencies in Virginia and Ontario, Canada. And that was a hard fact for the dealer to deal with.
"I have deeply mixed feelings selling to law enforcement," he said. "They've been some of our largest customers. If an average order is $150, the average law enforcement order is over $1,000.
"But at least those tax dollars are coming back to help fund the reform movement," White said.
So far, his products haven't disappointed even the most discerning customers.
"When you come through the door and look at them, you'd swear you're looking at real marijuana," said John O'Reilly, an instructor at the Ontario Police College in Canada. After finding just one other company that makes fake pot plants, the college purchased 30 of White's two-foot-tall stalks to simulate a homegrown marijuana cultivation operation.
"We've had people see them and want to know why we're growing marijuana."
The New Image Plants have also fooled some other connoisseurs.
After ordering a bogus bud online, one customer called White to ask how soon her shipment would arrive.
"I could tell in her voice that she thought she had ordered the real thing," White said. While he did his best to set her straight, the caller was adamant that actual marijuana could be bought through the Internet, he said. But he insisted that she not try getting high on the silk supply.
"We cannot be held liable for stupid people smoking our plants," he said.
GREENFIELD, Mass. (AP) -- Joseph White's home office is like a modern-day hippie hangout. Books on Buddhism and yoga mingle with business planners and a laptop computer. An acoustic guitar rests next to a shuffle of sheet music for "Mr. Tambourine Man," just across the room from a fax machine.
And then there are the marijuana stalks. Towering six-footers. Pint-sized plants for personal medical use. He even has a few ripe buds kicking around on a desk, not far from his cell phone.
His stash is for sale, but it won't get you stoned. These lifelike botanicals are made of silk and wood.
Behold, counterfeit cannabis.
During the past two years, White -- a trim 51-year-old with thinning hair and a small stud in his left earlobe -- has rolled his pro-pot activism and business savvy into New Image Plants, a startup company that sells the make-believe marijuana online.
"The business name reflects exactly what I'm trying to do -- create a new image for these plants," he said. "They're beautiful plants and people should be able to enjoy them without fear of arrest."
White won't say whether he smokes pot or has in the past. But he began pushing for marijuana legalization about seven years ago after talking to one of his sons about anti-drug advertising.
"He wanted to know why adults were talking down to kids and trying to scare them," White said. While he doesn't condone the use of marijuana by minors, White rebukes the notion that pot is a harmful drug that inevitably leads to the use of harder drugs.
"Kids know those claims aren't true," White said. "So when they hear an anti-drug message like that, they just discount it."
So he started a nonprofit group in 1999 called Change the Climate, which advocates for the legalization and taxation of marijuana and better education about the drug.
"My vision was that I needed to tell the truth about marijuana," White said.
By getting his artificial plants into private residences and public spaces, White is betting that more people will start appreciating the natural beauty of the real thing's jagged, seven-point leaves, lithe stems and robust buds instead of thinking of marijuana as an evil weed.
His early customers were people looking for gag gifts, party planners in search of unique decorations and law enforcement agencies needing replicas for training missions.
Then Hollywood came calling, and New Image Plants hit a financial high.
In April, White received an order for 355 plants from "Weeds," the Showtime cable television series about a single suburban soccer mom who deals marijuana to support her family.
Julie Bolder, the show's set director, needed to concoct a grow room stocked with what would look like $1 million worth of marijuana. She called White after stumbling on his web site.
"I looked hard to find somebody to make us good weed, and Joe did the best job," Bolder said. White's pot will make it's television debut early in the show's second season, which airs in mid-August.
"All the weed you see on the show is Joe's weed," Bolder said.
The order brought in about $40,000, about five times what White said his company had earned since it sprang up 18 months ago.
Suddenly, the business became bigger than he expected -- or needed.
Along with his continued work for Change the Climate, White is the senior vice president of Share Group, a private organization that offers consulting, fundraising and marketing services to nonprofit organizations, including the American Civil Liberties Union and Planned Parenthood.
He is also the president of another marketing company that works with smaller clients.
Although he isn't relying on New Image Plants as his main source of income, White sees no competition in the mock marijuana market and expects his sales to continue building from the interests of "the hundreds of millions of people who smoke pot and the hundred of millions of people who have no problem with it."
The plants are assembled by White's manufacturing partner in Jupiter, Fla., by workers who attach stems and leaves made from imported Chinese silk to a thin, wooden trunk. The plants are wedged into a pot with a foam base, then topped with moss. The flowering marijuana models that sell for $80 to $190 come with a few buds attached. His hemp models, which do not have flowers, sell for $65 to $150.
Until his order from "Weeds," White's biggest buyers were law enforcement agencies in Virginia and Ontario, Canada. And that was a hard fact for the dealer to deal with.
"I have deeply mixed feelings selling to law enforcement," he said. "They've been some of our largest customers. If an average order is $150, the average law enforcement order is over $1,000.
"But at least those tax dollars are coming back to help fund the reform movement," White said.
So far, his products haven't disappointed even the most discerning customers.
"When you come through the door and look at them, you'd swear you're looking at real marijuana," said John O'Reilly, an instructor at the Ontario Police College in Canada. After finding just one other company that makes fake pot plants, the college purchased 30 of White's two-foot-tall stalks to simulate a homegrown marijuana cultivation operation.
"We've had people see them and want to know why we're growing marijuana."
The New Image Plants have also fooled some other connoisseurs.
After ordering a bogus bud online, one customer called White to ask how soon her shipment would arrive.
"I could tell in her voice that she thought she had ordered the real thing," White said. While he did his best to set her straight, the caller was adamant that actual marijuana could be bought through the Internet, he said. But he insisted that she not try getting high on the silk supply.
"We cannot be held liable for stupid people smoking our plants," he said.
Candy is the Devil
This morning I was a little hungry and wanted a candy bar or chips. My card had very little money so I went upstairs to add to it. I added the maximum, $50. Then when I came back downstairs, I went with my PA to the vending machines. When I put my card in, it was rejected. Then a guy came in and said that machine was broken and would erase our cards. So we tried them in other machines, it erased them. So we went into the cafeteria told the lady how much had been on the card (we used the honor system) and she replaced my $52. She told us to e-mail the guy in charge of vending machines so that he could fix that machine. So my PA sent the e-mail and CCed me on it. When the guy replied to us the e-mail changed my name to Fred.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Deeeeeeeeeeee-Licious
EUREKA, Mo. (AP) -- Steve Rusakiewicz had never heard of Dippin' Dots, much less wrapped his tongue around the colorful flash-frozen ice cream in BB-sized pellets.
But taking a respite from the muggy July heat at the Six Flags amusement park near this St. Louis suburb, the 28-year-old Rolla, Mo., man plunked down $6 for a medium-sized cup of the icy treat and instantly proclaimed himself hot for the dots.
"I gotta say, man, they're pretty darn good," a smiling Rusakiewicz said through his mouthful of Cookies 'n Cream. He said the treat "starts off like a rock candy but ends up like ice cream."
"This just blows me out of the water," he declared. "I've never seen ice cream like this before."
Curt Jones finds such testimonials supercool.
"When some people see it for the first time, it's always interesting to watch their reaction," said the inventor of Dippin' Dots and founder of the ice cream chain.
Jones, a one-time southern Illinois farm boy whose entrepreneurial spirit dates to his teenage days selling everything from eggs to brooms, has made a mint with the tiny, cryogenically frozen beads of ice cream, sherbet and yogurt he invented nearly two decades ago.
Once forced to sell one of his cars and raid his savings to launch Dippin' Dots, Jones has seen the chain swell to nearly 2,000 locations across the country, from mall kiosks to amusement parks and stadiums.
Available in some two dozen flavors, Dippin' Dots are sold on five continents, with prices often a bit of a premium over "conventional" ice cream. At Six Flags here, a five-ounce small fetches $5, a 12-ounce large $7.
Jones said he expects wholesale business this year to be near $50 million -- about $14 million more than just three years ago. About half of sales come from national accounts including theme parks and stadiums, much of the rest from franchisees numbering roughly 150, many with multiple locations, he said.
The company has morphed from a one-man operation in Grand Chain, Ill., into a 200-worker operation based in Paducah, Ky. Jones said he expects Dippin' Dots to grow about 15 percent this year, with franchisees to open about 50 new retail sites, half of them walk-in stores.
Such growth hasn't gone unnoticed. Twice in recent years, Dippin' Dots has been named to Inc. magazine's list of fastest-growing privately held companies. In March of last year, Franchise Times magazine listed Dippin' Dots tops among its Fast 55, noting that the company's franchise units had spiked 13,154 percent since 1999.
"I always thought it had a chance to do well. But I'm kind of surprised by how it's taken off," said Jones, a 46-year-old microbiologist with expertise in cryogenics, by which things are frozen at hypercold temperatures.
Jones always loved fresh ice cream since the days he helped make it occasionally on the family's corn, soybean and pig farm in deep southern Illinois' Pulaski County. At the time, Jones made pocket money fixing radios or selling brooms for $3 a pop, eggs for 50 cents a dozen.
"It was always, `What's our next venture and how are we going to make money at it?'" he said.
At the urging of one of his community college chemistry teachers, Jones went on to study premed at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale but quickly shifted direction. Intrigued by microbiology from an industrial perspective more than a medical one, he landed two microbiology degrees.
One day, Jones was crafting a batch of ice cream with a neighbor when he wondered aloud if freezing the stuff faster would make it taste better, "less icy." After months of tinkering with recipes and shapes, Jones in 1988 perfected instantly superfreezing tiny balls of ice cream using a nitrogen-based vapor.
Jones dubbed his creation Dippin' Dots and proclaimed it the "Ice Cream of the Future." He made it in his garage before shifting production in 1990 to what used to be a liquor store in Paducah.
Five years later, Jones opened a 32,000-square-foot Paducah plant, then spent another $7 million in 2003 to retool its production room, add liquid nitrogen tanks and milk silos, and build a freezer-warehouse covering 18,000 square feet.
"I just had no way of knowing the impact it had on some people," Jones said.
Now looking to supermarkets for growth, Jones is test marketing Dots 'n Cream -- Dippin' Dots folded into a more conventional ice cream. While traditional Dippin' Dots are stored at 40 degrees below zero, Dots 'n Cream -- for now available in vanilla, chocolate, mint chocolate chip or banana split -- is the first by Dippin' Dots that can be stored in a conventional freezer.
Jones, who now lives in Nashville, also runs a music publishing company and even has helped produce an independent movie. He's working to develop an ethanol plant in southern Illinois, not far from his childhood haunts.
In his spare time, he plays basketball three times a week and ballroom dances with his wife, which keeps his 5-foot-11, 215-pound frame "fairly solid" despite the ever-present temptations of his creation.
"I've gotta watch it a little bit," the ice cream lover concedes.
Facts about Dippin' Dots, the brainchild of one-time southern Illinois farm boy Curt Jones:
WHAT THEY ARE: Tiny, croygenically frozen beads of ice cream, yogurt, sherbet and flavored ice.
ORIGIN: Invented in 1988 by Curt Jones, a microbiology graduate of Southern Illinois University in Carbondale.
VARIETY: Dippin' Dots offered in some two dozen flavors, plus seasonal ones.
SALES: Jones expects sales this year to be about $50 million.
THE COMPANY: Based in Paducah, Ky., Dippin' Dots Inc. has nearly 2,000 locations across the country, from mall kiosks to amusement parks and stadiums. Dippin' Dots also are sold at dozens of sites in at least 10 other countries.
But taking a respite from the muggy July heat at the Six Flags amusement park near this St. Louis suburb, the 28-year-old Rolla, Mo., man plunked down $6 for a medium-sized cup of the icy treat and instantly proclaimed himself hot for the dots.
"I gotta say, man, they're pretty darn good," a smiling Rusakiewicz said through his mouthful of Cookies 'n Cream. He said the treat "starts off like a rock candy but ends up like ice cream."
"This just blows me out of the water," he declared. "I've never seen ice cream like this before."
Curt Jones finds such testimonials supercool.
"When some people see it for the first time, it's always interesting to watch their reaction," said the inventor of Dippin' Dots and founder of the ice cream chain.
Jones, a one-time southern Illinois farm boy whose entrepreneurial spirit dates to his teenage days selling everything from eggs to brooms, has made a mint with the tiny, cryogenically frozen beads of ice cream, sherbet and yogurt he invented nearly two decades ago.
Once forced to sell one of his cars and raid his savings to launch Dippin' Dots, Jones has seen the chain swell to nearly 2,000 locations across the country, from mall kiosks to amusement parks and stadiums.
Available in some two dozen flavors, Dippin' Dots are sold on five continents, with prices often a bit of a premium over "conventional" ice cream. At Six Flags here, a five-ounce small fetches $5, a 12-ounce large $7.
Jones said he expects wholesale business this year to be near $50 million -- about $14 million more than just three years ago. About half of sales come from national accounts including theme parks and stadiums, much of the rest from franchisees numbering roughly 150, many with multiple locations, he said.
The company has morphed from a one-man operation in Grand Chain, Ill., into a 200-worker operation based in Paducah, Ky. Jones said he expects Dippin' Dots to grow about 15 percent this year, with franchisees to open about 50 new retail sites, half of them walk-in stores.
Such growth hasn't gone unnoticed. Twice in recent years, Dippin' Dots has been named to Inc. magazine's list of fastest-growing privately held companies. In March of last year, Franchise Times magazine listed Dippin' Dots tops among its Fast 55, noting that the company's franchise units had spiked 13,154 percent since 1999.
"I always thought it had a chance to do well. But I'm kind of surprised by how it's taken off," said Jones, a 46-year-old microbiologist with expertise in cryogenics, by which things are frozen at hypercold temperatures.
Jones always loved fresh ice cream since the days he helped make it occasionally on the family's corn, soybean and pig farm in deep southern Illinois' Pulaski County. At the time, Jones made pocket money fixing radios or selling brooms for $3 a pop, eggs for 50 cents a dozen.
"It was always, `What's our next venture and how are we going to make money at it?'" he said.
At the urging of one of his community college chemistry teachers, Jones went on to study premed at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale but quickly shifted direction. Intrigued by microbiology from an industrial perspective more than a medical one, he landed two microbiology degrees.
One day, Jones was crafting a batch of ice cream with a neighbor when he wondered aloud if freezing the stuff faster would make it taste better, "less icy." After months of tinkering with recipes and shapes, Jones in 1988 perfected instantly superfreezing tiny balls of ice cream using a nitrogen-based vapor.
Jones dubbed his creation Dippin' Dots and proclaimed it the "Ice Cream of the Future." He made it in his garage before shifting production in 1990 to what used to be a liquor store in Paducah.
Five years later, Jones opened a 32,000-square-foot Paducah plant, then spent another $7 million in 2003 to retool its production room, add liquid nitrogen tanks and milk silos, and build a freezer-warehouse covering 18,000 square feet.
"I just had no way of knowing the impact it had on some people," Jones said.
Now looking to supermarkets for growth, Jones is test marketing Dots 'n Cream -- Dippin' Dots folded into a more conventional ice cream. While traditional Dippin' Dots are stored at 40 degrees below zero, Dots 'n Cream -- for now available in vanilla, chocolate, mint chocolate chip or banana split -- is the first by Dippin' Dots that can be stored in a conventional freezer.
Jones, who now lives in Nashville, also runs a music publishing company and even has helped produce an independent movie. He's working to develop an ethanol plant in southern Illinois, not far from his childhood haunts.
In his spare time, he plays basketball three times a week and ballroom dances with his wife, which keeps his 5-foot-11, 215-pound frame "fairly solid" despite the ever-present temptations of his creation.
"I've gotta watch it a little bit," the ice cream lover concedes.
Facts about Dippin' Dots, the brainchild of one-time southern Illinois farm boy Curt Jones:
WHAT THEY ARE: Tiny, croygenically frozen beads of ice cream, yogurt, sherbet and flavored ice.
ORIGIN: Invented in 1988 by Curt Jones, a microbiology graduate of Southern Illinois University in Carbondale.
VARIETY: Dippin' Dots offered in some two dozen flavors, plus seasonal ones.
SALES: Jones expects sales this year to be about $50 million.
THE COMPANY: Based in Paducah, Ky., Dippin' Dots Inc. has nearly 2,000 locations across the country, from mall kiosks to amusement parks and stadiums. Dippin' Dots also are sold at dozens of sites in at least 10 other countries.
Library Masturbator Update
I'm sure most Poop readers will never forget Michael Cooper, the library masturbator who was outed by Cleveland's investigative reporter, Carl Monday.
Cooper was sentenced for his crime last week, and had another run-in with Monday.
Cooper was sentenced for his crime last week, and had another run-in with Monday.
Stephen A. Liar
Dusty Baker was supposed to be on "Quite Frankly" because the Cubs are in town to play the Mets.
A QF staffer sent an e-mail to Cubs message boards to drum up audience, and said disgruntled Cubs "can definitely feel free to BOO Dusty if you so please."
Dusty heard about this and canceled his appearance.
Stephen A. then lied about it, saying that websites changed the text of the e-mail.
Once he realized you can't fight angry bloggers, he said this "The production company did a thorough review and it was brought to my attention that I was mislead. The word 'boo' was used. I trusted the individual and apologize for giving bad information. At the end of the day, the situation has been dealt with."
Deadspin chronicles the mess in further detail for any interested parties.
A QF staffer sent an e-mail to Cubs message boards to drum up audience, and said disgruntled Cubs "can definitely feel free to BOO Dusty if you so please."
Dusty heard about this and canceled his appearance.
Stephen A. then lied about it, saying that websites changed the text of the e-mail.
Once he realized you can't fight angry bloggers, he said this "The production company did a thorough review and it was brought to my attention that I was mislead. The word 'boo' was used. I trusted the individual and apologize for giving bad information. At the end of the day, the situation has been dealt with."
Deadspin chronicles the mess in further detail for any interested parties.