Baseball is Poop

Baseball is Poop is Back
Of all the columns I write on an even semi-regular basis this one is my favorite because I love baseball and over the course of the season many interesting quirky things happen that need to be shared. I also enjoy doing my statistical analysis which for years I did with no purpose, now I can pore over stats and have a reason to do so. So begins another season of Baseball is Poop:

He's a Vegetarian
In the latest effort to spite his father Cecil Fielder (a man who looks as if he eats steak and eggs for breakfast and washes it down with a glass of steak juice), Prince Fielder has given up meat for good.
After reading a book on the poor treatment of animals, Prince has gone the Damino-route and given up animal flesh. He tried being a vegan but couldn't hack it.

It will be interesting to see if a 6 foot 260 pounder can keep his home run strength through an entire season without a juicy burger every once in a while.

Fielder will be making only $670,000 this season despite hitting 50 homers last year. Fielder is pissed off that the Brewers didn't take care of him (they didn't have to, but should have given him $1.5 mil to appease him) and is looking forward to a huge arbitration award for next year.



Oh Those Bases on Balls
Giants starting pitcher Noah Lowry is showing symptoms of Steve Blass disease, which also afflicted Rick Ankiel.
In his second appearance of the spring Lowry walked 7 batters in the first inning and two more in the second before being taken out. He allowed 4 runs, without a hit. He threw 24 pitches before a Rangers batter swung at a pitch.
In 2007, Lowry went 14-8 with a 3.92 ERA and 87 walks in 156 innings.



Put a Helmet on
Dodgers third base coach Larry Bowa does not like the new rule requiring base coaches to wear helmets. He says he's willing to pay a fine rather than wear it. "I'm willing to write out a check for whatever the fine is for every game. Whatever 162 games is, I'll write out a check for it."

Tony Kornheiser suggests the fine should be $1,000 for the first game, $10,000 for the second game and $1 million per game for each game after that.

I have a different suggestion. I think the first time Bowa should be forced to read this article from Sports Illustrated the family of Mike Coolbaugh, who killed when he got struck in the head by a line drive while coaching first base. And he should be forced to look at the heartbreaking pictures of Coolbaugh's two young sons.

If he still wants to forsake the helmet after that he should be fined $1,000 per game in a check payable to a trust fund for Coolbaugh's children. If he wants to contribute $162,000 per year ($161,000 the first year) for the college education of those two little boys (I think they have another kid now), then he can buy his right to suffer a potentially deadly head injury.

After MLB threatened to suspend Bowa, he relented and put on the helmet but he still doesn't look comfortable doing so.