Todas Cosas Buenas Tienen Que Venir Al Fin

It seems that my favorite feature at Mets games, "Learning Spanish With Professor Reyes," may be discontinued.
According to Adam Rubin of the Daily News,
"Gone as well may be the popular "Profesor Reyes" skits that humorously teach Spanish at home games. Reyes has balked at filming another season. "I did it two years in a row already," Reyes said. "But I'll think about it. I haven't said no yet."

John Maine has been enlisted for a recurring "Maine Street USA" scoreboard skit that quizzes fans on U.S. cities."

I would hate to see them go as I loved learning Spanish from him (la esquina caliente is the hot corner) and I enjoyed the idiots and their horrible pronunciations.

Dick Save and a Beauty

Don Taylor of SNET describes a nice save by Toronto's Vesa Toskala:

Chase Turns 6...Months

Since he was born on August 21st, that means on February 21st, Chase celebrated his half-birthday, 6 long months on this earth. We bought him a cake...and then we ate it all.

For more pictures of this festive event and other exciting happenings in the life of Chase (he sits! he smiles!) visit ChaseBrennan821.

Erin Andrews Dispels the Boob Grab Rumor

Perhaps the one post in the history of the Poop that has generated the most traffic is the one of an Iowa student reportedly grabbing Erin Andrew's boob.
In an interview with Extra Mustard, she explains the incident:

"For a while there was a question about whether it was real or photoshopped. And it was CLEARLY photoshopped because I know exactly how it happened. I was taking a photo with a young girl, maybe 4 or 5 years old, so I was bending over to take the shot and that Iowa kid obviously photoshopped himself in that spot. So it was this huge stir, but if you look at his arm, it's at such an awkward angle anyway. And believe me, if that picture was real, he wouldn't have left the arena with his camera because it would've been lodged somewhere else."

Kudos to the photoshopper who baffled jusTON, the Poop's computer expert, with his masterful photoshopping of his hand on Erin's tit.

The Incredible Shrinking Billy Bob

Actor Ron Lester hasn't had much of a career in Hollywood lately, because he no longer fits into the niche he created for himself. Lester used to play the token fat guy, most famously as Billy Bob in "Varsity Blues."
But thanks to gastric bypass surgery Lester is half the man (actually closer to a third) he used to be.
From a peak weight of 508 pounds Lester lost 315 pounds now checking in at a svelte 193.
He has had 17 surgeries to remove excess skin, including 4 on his face alone. He said 43 of the pounds he lost were pure skin.
And he says he's now two inches shorter due to the loss of fat from the top of his head and bottoms of his feet.

Idol Chatter

This first round of live performances was as bad as I can remember.
The boys night was a total washout except for maybe David Archuleta (the young kid) and Jason Castro (the blue eyed Puerto Rican with dreads).
The first 8 girls sucked too but the last four really picked it up.

Don't blame the 60s music, because they picked from a lot of great songs. They even chose great songs then ruined them.
Two people (David Cook and Brooke White) picked "Happy Together" and one of them said "if I called you up, invest the time." The correct lyric is actually "dime" but the concept of a phone call costing a dime is so anachronistic that he felt the need to change it.

Chikizie isn't quite good enough yet to have dropped his last name. Especially because his last name is Eze and it sounds so good together.

Danny Noriega might be the first openly gay American Idol contestant but his rendition of gay Elvis disgusted me. Then there's Colton Berry who is just as gay, but much less self-aware. He was making so many gay faces it reminded me of trying to take a picture of Pizza Parlor Derek.

The competition really started with the last four girls to perform.
There was Asia'h Epperson. Now I don't want to speak ill of the dead but what was her father smoking when he named her? Who in their right mind says "I want to name my daughter after Asia, it's one of my 7 favorite continents. But I think it would be much better if we added an apostrophe-H." Ridiculous. But she was good and her performance was probably the most fun.

I also enjoyed Ramiele Malubay singing "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me," which is one of my favorite songs ever.

Carly Smithson closed out the show but there is some controversy about her. As they mentioned on the show she had a recording deal...back in 1999, under a different name. Idol released that news to show they knew about it and are ok with it, but I think it violates the spirit of the competition. Idol is supposed to be about discovering undiscovered talent. I also think they should lower the age range to 25. Jordin Sparks is infinitely more enjoyable than Taylor Hicks, because she was 13 years younger than he was when he won. I have the feeling that Carly will make the Top 12 but not last much longer than that. Btw, according to reports Kristi Lee Cook and Michael Johns also had record deals at one point.

My favorite (and I may just be thinking with my dick) and my early choice to win it all, is Syesha Mercado. I love her!

Going home this week: Garrett Haley, Jason Yeager, Amy Davis, Brooke White.

Serious contenders to win it all: Michael Johns, Jason Castro, David Hernandez, Asia'h Epperson, Ramiele Malubay and Syesha Mercado

Knicks Sideline Fight

Zach Randolph and Nate Robinson got into an argument on the sidelines during a game against the Wizards. Ironically, after this incident the Knicks scored 23 points in a 5 minute overtime to win the game.



But the next night they lost by 40 to the Sixers.

I Was Right, Santana Does Look Great in Orange and Blue

The excitement over the Johan Santana trade landing the Mets new star pitcher on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Read the article here.

Song of The Week

"Good Love" - Sheek Louch
I've been searching for this song for a while after I heard it once. The thing I love about it is that it samples from one of my favorite songs "Tonight is the Night" by Betty Wright, which you should definitely listen to also because it's the live version and Betty explains her mother's reaction to the song.

Why Congress Should Be Investigating Steroids

It has become popular to criticize Congress for holding hearings on the steroid issue, but actually this is an issue Congress should be dealing with.

1) Congress originally took up the issue at the urging of Don Hooton, whose son Taylor killed himself after using steroids. Hooton attributed his son's suicide to steroids and his son's steroid use to the pervasive use of steroids by professional baseball players. So a citizen took this issue to Congress, and they began an investigation on his behalf, exactly what Congress should be doing.

2) When Congress dug, they found that Major League Baseball and its players had basically been involved in a conspiracy, on an unspoken basis, to allow players to use illegal drugs through an overly lenient testing and punishment policy.

3) Congressional hearings have been very efficacious on this issue. Congress forced Major League Baseball to adopt a stiffer drug testing policy, one that will hopefully succeed in cleaning up the game, at least to some degree.

4) The notion that Congress could solve the other more important problems facing our country if only they weren't so mired in the steroid mess is preposterous. Congress could debate all year about Iraq and nothing would change. Same with many of the other issues. And it's not like they're holding hearings every day. One committee of about 15 Congressmen (out of 435) focusing on the issue for a couple weeks at a time, every couple of years, isn't having a major impact on the future of the country.

Admittedly, this last hearing was little more than a spectacle designed to embarrass Roger Clemens, but if they hadn't held this hearing wouldn't it appear as if Clemens were being let off the hook? Also, Congress still doesn't feel that baseball is doing enough to clean up the sport so they want to keep the heat on.

And yes, I also concede that the Congressmen love the attention they are getting from these hearings, but if it is any consolation, many of them (Shay, Cummings) completely embarrassed themselves.

Finally, as baseball fans, we should all be thrilled that Congress is so tough on these cheaters because without Congress we wouldn't know what to think of McGwire, Sosa, Clemens and especially Rafael Palmeiro.

The Curse of the Concierge

The Concierge likes to accuse everyone (me, Reissberg) of being bad luck, but I can see no one who has done more damage than The Concierge himself.
His record at Met and Knicks games is spotty at best, but his record when choosing a favorite player is downright disastrous.
During his heyday in the early the 90s The Conch frequently bragged about his ability to spot diamonds in the rough and he became the biggest fan of Latrell Sprewell and Vin Baker, even buying their jerseys.
But he has ruined both of their lives.
Whose life did The Concierge ruin more, Latrell Sprewell or Vin Baker?

Vin Baker Never Found the Answers He Was Looking For at the Bottom a of Bottle

Vin Baker blew a promising NBA career by drinking and eating himself out of the league.
Now, he's apparently drank and eaten himself (and his parents) deep into debt.
Baker's restaurant, Vinnie's Saybrook Fish House in Old Saybrook, Connecticut closed recently and the bank that financed it claims it is owed close to $900,000 in unpaid loans. Also named in the suit are Baker's parents, who apparently put $400,000 into the failed venture last spring.
Baker signed a $35 million contract with the Celtics but when he started drinking the Celtics got out of that contract for a lot less than $35 million.
Last summer he was pulled over on a charge of drunk driving, after leaving Foxwoods, but eventually pleaded guilty to reckless driving.

Lindsay Lohan's Tits

I normally hate Lindsay Lohan. Her drug use, her dirty hair, her freckles, everything about her is disgusting. But she does have nice knockers. I've seen them several times poking out of some outfit or another, but now she's finally gone and done a topless photo shoot...on purpose. New York Magazine (since when do they do nudes?) did a shoot of Lohan posing as Marilyn Monroe (first page is safe, after that, not safe for work), including one glorious, boob shot.

Note: The pictures are real and so are the boobies

Nice Work If You Can Get It

Keith Van Horn is going to earn $2 million dollars this year, for not playing in the NBA. Van Horn is semi-retired and hasn't played in a year and a half. But he is technically still property of the Dallas Mavericks. So in order to make the Jason Kidd trade work, the Mavs resigned Van Horn and traded him to the Nets. The Nets will then likely cut Van Horn but they'll still owe him $2 million (a pro-rated portion of the $4 million contract that the teams needed in order to make the deal work).
Van Horn should send Devean George a fruit basket.
The same thing happened to Aaron McKie in the Pau Gasol trade.
The league should do something to close these ridiculous loopholes.

Kings of the Ring

When I was younger I loved boxing. I would watch every HBO fight. Papa Poop and I saw Buster Douglas beat Mike Tyson live. I remember loving Mike Tyson and his 90 second knockouts. But then Tyson went to jail and there were so many horrible decisions that it was pointless to even pay attention anymore. After a while I completely gave up on the sport and it's probably been a couple years since I've actually watched a fight live.

But boxing is great because the best fights you can watch over and over again and enjoy, even if you know the eventual outcome. Plus, boxing is very compatible with youtube because the best fights and the best rounds can be posted in one short clip.

Earlier this week, I DVRed the Contender Season 3 finale to watch (for the third time), the main event fight between Jaidon Codrington and Sakio Bika. Enjoy round 1 and pay attention to the commentary of Teddy Atlas who sounds gruff but is actually very intelligent and one of the most insightful announcers in any sport.



Bika won by TKO in the 8th.

Watching that fight got me thinking about the best rounds in boxing history and of course I immediately thought of Diego "Chico" Corrales - Jose Luis Castillo, Round 10.



Corrales died in a motorcycle accident exactly 2 years later, to the day.

But perhaps the coup de grace as far as youtube boxing is concerned is the full 8 minutes of the war between Thomas "The Hitman" Hearns and "Marvelous" Marvin Hagler.

I Want to Become a Vegetarian

If I thought I could happily live my life without ever again consuming animal flesh (or chicken soup) I would become a vegetarian.
This undvercover video was shot by the Humane Society at a slaughterhouse run by the Hallmark/Westland Meat Company.



A popular defense for dogfighting (don't ask my why people are defending dogfighting) is that eating animals is just as bad because they are tortured. Video like this proves that torture does happen sometimes, and when it does we should be just as outraged as we were when we heard about Michael Vick.

My one defense of eating meat is that nature did intend for animals to eat each other, but not to force them to fight each other for amusement.