Join the Pageantry

Because Pride Pageantry Derek beat me to it, I will invite all Poopheads to join his group in espn.com's Bowl Mania.
You will need to create your entry first, then search for the group called "Pride Pageantry."
Select the winners of every game and assign a confidence score of 1 to 32.

Ask The Pageantry

1) Should Dennis Dixon win the Heisman because of the dramatic difference between his team’s performance when he is playing compared to when he isn’t? – P. Knight, Beaverton, OR

The answer on the surface would appear to be the difference between the Heisman trophy and an MVP award (after all where would Heisman’s Penn teams have been without John Outland at tackle?), but I can’t even think of an MVP award in any sport being awarded to someone on such a premise. If Dixon was far and away the Heisman favorite all year long there may be a case but three games in college football is a quarter of the season and the Heisman has never and will never be awarded on ¾ of a season. Previous Heisman votes lead me to believe that last Saturday was a one game audition for Chase Daniel but I will cover the Heisman next week.



2) Whose face did you see more of this weekend Chrissy Johnson (nee Popadics) or Mark Mangino? – C. Myers, Los Angeles, California

Unfortunately Mangino as Chrissy’s husband Ian was held in check in the final three quarters of the game against Hawai’i. Chrissy has gotten quite a lot of camera-love this year and we all know why but we also all know Ian Johnson isn’t the only college football player with a hot girlfriend. Why isn’t ESPN exploiting every star player’s hot girlfriend to boost ratings, seems like it would work better than having celebrities give the starting lineups? Johnson is a low-level NFL prospect but a good North-South runner and Jake Plummer knows the Denver Broncos allow player-cheerleader fraternization. I can see or hope to see the Johnsons in Broncos uniforms next season as well.





3) Doesn’t Jim Harbaugh actually make more sense for the next Michigan head coach than Les Miles? – M. Oxbig, NY. NY

Harbaugh makes no sense as he bashed the program and accused it of lowering academic standards for athletes this past fall and has one year of DI-FBS experience and one big win. He won’t be getting the job, moving on to Miles. As a follower of the Ohio State-Michigan rivalry, it NEEDS Les Miles. It’s becoming boring as The Sweatervest is having his way with UM and doesn’t seem to be enjoying it as much as he should. Tressel would be the perfect foil for Miles and vice-versa. The reasons Miles won’t get the job have been covered ($1.5 million payout to LSU, timing, Miles not fitting the “Michigan Man” profile), but now that LSU seems to be out of the National Championship picture the speculation is less damaging to LSU and Michigan still doesn’t have a coach. I’m not saying he’s headed there but let’s wait and see.



4) If West Virginia beats Pittsburgh (highly likely) then they play either Missouri or Ohio State in the title game. Does any other team have a legitimate complaint with that scenario? – J. Tressel, Columbus, Ohio

Well if the college football regular season is an institution sacred above all other regular seasons in every other organized sport, than Hawaii would. They didn’t lose and didn’t have an opportunity to challenge any other teams besides the one on their schedule. And they soundly beat the one Top 25 team on their schedule. Les Miles mentioned his team not being beaten in regulation on Monday, and that notion was laughed at nationally, but it is more valid than people are giving it credit for (which is still not very). But would Missouri and West Virginia have been able to go through this year’s SEC unbeaten in regulation or with the same records they have now? Plus if Missouri loses, Ohio State will have appeared to have “backed-in” to the BCS National Championship and both national championship game teams would have not played a championship game. What’s the next question?

5) Do we really care if some teams have conference tournaments and others don’t? Some years a team can benefit from playing an extra game against a good team, other years a team can move up by not playing while other teams are losing their conference finals. – C. Daniel, Columbia, Missouri

Because the conferences with championship games have 13 games for which to be judged on and the non-championship games conferences only have 12. It’s another opportunity to be eliminated and rarely does any team leapfrog any other because of the win. Since the ACC, Big XII, and SEC aren’t going to give up the revenue created by a conference championship, the solution is to waive the “12 team rule” to hold a conference championship, since the result of that has been poaching by the larger conferences. What an enjoyable day that would make this Saturday.

Ask The Pageantry

With college football season heading down to the wire Pride Pageantry Derek and I are having our annual debates. Since he came out with the Paul Poll (which doesn't quite encapsulate my view, but it's flattering), I decided to ask him some burning questions about college football that have come into The Poop's mailbag.

1) Why do you call Texas A&M, “Texas ATM”? – J. Smist, Bangor, Maine

Sometimes the best explanations are the most obvious, it has nothing to do with Dennis Franchione’s “fund-raising skills”, this is Texas A&M’s logo:



It looks like it was originally designed to go on somebody’s hand towel. The untrained eye may think the school is actually Agriculture Texas Mining. Hence the name Texas ATM.

2) Is Les Miles gutsy or stupid? Will these risky fourth down calls catch up with him eventually? –B. Raftery, Lincoln Tunnel Vegetable Stand

Les Miles is everything great about college football. He’s brash in both his press conferences and his play calling. I love how he went to Nick Saban at the end of Saturday’s game and said “You have a great team.” Did he mean the current Alabama team or his LSU team? We’ll never know. But here’s the thing, everyone knows Miles wouldn’t last four games in the NFL. In fact, his personality put off so many of the stuffed shirts at Michigan when he was an assistant that if Lloyd Carr doesn’t beat Ohio State in two weeks Miles probably wouldn’t even get his job. Yet for Cajun Nation, he’s perfect. I hope Miles becomes the Paterno or Bowden of LSU, his play calling can only get more mind boggling with age.

3) Why do BC fans call themselves “Superfans?” –K. Sullivan, Brookline, Massachusetts

Because they pack a 100,000 seat stadium and travel all over the country to see their team…um wait…maybe because the title “Superfans” was so unoriginal they were afraid Syracuse was going to come up with it first. (The real history is here.) Better yet, are those T-shirts waiting for students at their dorm upon checking in or do they cost $5 at the bookstore? How does every student get one and how much money does BC lose on Flutie jersey sales because of it?



4) If Kansas wins out by beating Missouri and Oklahoma would they deserve to leapfrog LSU and Oregon in the BCS Standings? – R.C. Jayhawk, Lawrence, Kansas

First of all, they still have to beat “I’m 40!” this Saturday on the road, which would be the Jayhawks’ first tough test 10 games into the season. But the question isn’t about the first 10 games or Kansas’s putrid out-of-conference schedule, it is predicated on Kansas winning the Big XII and in the process gaining two marquee wins (Missouri and Oklahoma). Aside from the fact that both games would be neutral site games leaving the Jayhawks without one marquee road win, not one, this resume would have to be measured against a team with quality wins over Virginia Tech, South Carolina, Florida, Auburn, Alabama and then either Georgia or Tennessee. They would have to score 76 on Oklahoma for them to pass the “eye test” and get voted over Oregon (the best looking team in the country right now with three quality wins). The polls and computer rankings have made college football less about who someone beats and more about who they don’t lose to. When measuring two BCS conference teams, it may be time to rethink that.

5) If Kansas wins the National Championship how long before Mark Mangino has gastric banding and appears on the cover of People Magazine under the headline “I Can See My Toes Again”? – K. Alley, Thousand Oaks, California

So much Kansas talk…anyway. Mangino winning a national championship would be fantastic and I am rooting for it to happen despite the scenario I outline in question 4. If he did the talk show circuit like the Red Sox are doing now, he couldn’t do Regis and Kelly, Jay Leno would have to switch his furniture. No way Mangino goes through the same procedure that almost killed Charlie Weis, that’s not a fun way to die. In fact I think he goes to White Castle induces a heart attack just so he can “go out on top”, literally.

Pumpin For Thursday

Because Pride Pageantry Derek has essentially given up on another blog to chase cyber bitches on MySpace (2 posts on The Pride and the Pageantry since 9/24), and because tonight's Thursday night game is a huge Big East title, and because Derek's picks suck anyway, and because I have a strong feeling about this game, I'm going to offer my two cents.

south florida (-2) at RUTGERS, over/under 52
Vegas Algebra Says: South Florida 27 Rutgers 25
Every year there's a Cinderella, in fact last year that team was Rutgers. Every year that team gets knocked off. And this season in college football has been particularly full of upheaval. Rutgers will win this game outright by running the ball and killing the clock while not making turnovers. So take Rutgers and the under.

College Football Comedy

Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy wants to puke after a column questions one of his player's attitudes, because his momma was feeding him fried chicken:



ESPN announcer Mike Patrick chooses an inopportune time to reflect on one of the key social issues affecting our society today:



Thanks to Pride Pageantry Derek for unearthing these clips.

Are You Ready For Some Pageantry?

Pizza Parlor Derek changed the PP in his name to Pride Pageantry in honor of his new blog, "The Pride and The Pageantry."
Pride Pageantry Derek has been working dilgently for a month to complete his preview and he did it just in time for tonight's kickoff game featuring his #1 team, LSU.
Other team previews of specific interest to Poopheads, #5 Michigan, #12 Penn State and #25 Syracuse.