My Popcorn Odyssey

I recently went on a popcorn odyssey, four days and nights of eating popcorn in 4 different places in 3 different states, and I documented the entire thing to share with you guys.

Day 1:
Popcorn from Target for Game 1 of the NLDS.

Day 2:
Popcorn from AMC Theaters for Hotel Transylvania 2. The movie was actually pretty cute and funny. The boys loved it.
The popcorn was also good. And we get the refillable size so we chow down before the movie starts, and refill. Then we refill again after the movie and take home. On this night I enjoyed it with Game 2 of the NLDS.

Day 3:
Popcorn from Sesame Place. With the same bucket we've been using for years, and our season passes, refills are only $2.22. And I can eat the entire bucket in the time it takes the kids to wait on line and ride one ride.

Day 4:
Popcorn from CitiField.
Behind section 125 there is a stand that sells popcorn in a Mets helmet with unlimited refills for $12. It is the best food value at CitiField. I bought and ate one helmet-full myself when I sat down. Then during the introductions I ran to get #2. I sent Poop On Me for refill #3 at which point even I was sick of eating popcorn.

Aren't Genetics Wild?

I recently got a most distressing e-mail from Master Bates:

"Had my first ever Target popcorn today and it came nowhere close to the hype you built up. In fact I threw out a lot of it as it was not good."

At first I thought maybe he just got a bad batch, but then I remembered Target popcorn is popped fresh every 30 minutes, and there have been times when Mrs. Poop has gotten Target popcorn in the morning, and I ate it at 6 pm, and it was still delicious. So that couldn't be it.
Then I considered maybe Master Bates was raised to dislike delicious popcorn. But since we were raised by the same parents, in the same house, the same room even, we must have been exposed to the same things growing up.
So maybe nature in the age old nature vs. nurture debate was the reason Master Bates didn't like Target Popcorn.
So I called Mama Poop and she said she loves Target Popcorn too.

Therefore the only conclusion one can make is: Master Bates is adopted.

A Day Without Sunshine

Mrs. Poop told me a couple days ago that we needed to pick up a couple things (diapers) so we had to go to Target while we were in Connecticut. We figured Christmas Eve would be a good time to go. Unfortunately, some of her friends who live here said they never remember seeing a snack bar at that Target. So I was managing my expectations, not getting my hopes up that I would taste the golden deliciousness of Target Popcorn.
But this morning after I texted Josh that I was eating stew for breakfast, he told me he was going to have Target Popcorn for breakfast.
When we got to Target, I saw that they did have a snack bar, and a popcorn maker, but it was conspicuously empty. I waited on line behind three retards from the group home and was shocked when the lady told me they ran out of popcorn kernels. Whoever heard of such a thing?
Popcorn kernels are not a perishable item. They should never run out because they should order huge quantities and reorder when supply gets low. Poor management.
Even more annoying is that the clerks in New Jersey are rude and curt but the line moves quickly. But in Connecticut everyone knows each other and the clerks are so nice it took 5 minutes for her to tell me that they didn't even have any popcorn.
I was so furious.
Target in Torrington, Connecticut sucks.
Stock enough popcorn next time assholes.

Poop Taking Care of Business Week - Day 1

You may remember back in August I took a week off from work to get the house ready for Chase, who at the time was known as Baby Poop. Instead of cleaning out my closet like I was supposed to, I wrote this post. The next morning Chase was born and we got almost nothing accomplished. Well, now's the time to make up for that. I have the next two weeks off and a lot of things to do. Not on that list is writing this blog. So I probably won't have that many posts but I'll try to update you on my daily activities so you at least have something to read.

Note: Times not exact

9:00 - Regis and Kelly discuss aubergine, a fancy word for eggplant.

9:30 - Regis and Kelly have on the winners of the cat show.

11:15 - Arrive in Staten Island for my dentist's appointment. Still no cavities, but I am encountering a problem with my gums. But my new regimen of daily flossing and a special mouthwash will once again give me perfect dentition.

12:30 - Lunch at Bario's. The food was good. The people were typical Staten Island.

1:00 - Decide to make Chase wait to eat until we get to Target back in New Jersey.

1:30 - Stop for gas.

1:31 - Chase cries.

1:40 - Finally get to Target after Chase and Mrs. Poop nearly meltdown.

2:15 - Sitting in the car feeding Chase. A woman a row over has a Toyota Sienna with an automatic rear door. But she has too much shit in the back. The door slowly goes down, she's in the car, but the door can't close. So it opens again. She gets out, moves some stuff around, tries to shut the door and gets back in the car. The door opens again, but she starts driving away. She sees the door is open, stops her car gets out, does a major restructuring and finally creates enough room for the door to close.

2:30 - Target popcorn!

4:00 - Costco parking lot is a complete mess and no one has the patience to let a couple cars go to clear it out. So everyone just pulls as close as they can to get the car in front of them, and backs up when someone in a spot needs to get out.

5:00 - Finally get home, unload all our stuff. Diesel knocked over our salmon, thankfully it didn't open.

6:00 - Take the kids for a walk.

7:15 - Finally come home as a worried Mrs. Poop is looking out the door to see if we got lost. Chase was being good so I just decided to give Mrs. Poop sometime to relax in the house without her 3 boys bothering her.

7:30 - Salmon for dinner. Mrs. Poop makes sauteed squash. Disgusting.

8:30 - Watch How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory and Rules of Engagement.

10:00 - Watch Monday Night Football, ALCS, NLCS.

Poop Taking Care of Business Week - Monday

I took the week off work so that we could get the house ready for the impending arrival of Baby Poop.

So this week should be a slow week for blogging, but a good week for getting shit done.

To wit:

10am: Doctor's appointment. Everything looks good with less than 3 weeks to go, but Baby Poop isn't doing anything to indicate he or she is ready to come out early.

11am: Target. Target popcorn! Delicious! But I got the small this time, much better choice. I bought a silly t-shirt, hopefully I'll post it on here this week. I also got a new bedside table and I don't know what the hell else but we spent $250. Yikes!

12:30pm: Dropped off some clothes for the homeless. Six bags of stuff as a result of cleaning our closets to fit the baby's stuff.

2:00pm: Went to Buy Buy Baby bought our stroller (more on this in a separate post).

3:00pm: Visited Bruce the Bed King, to get a guest bed. Bruce was there. He is the nicest guy ever. I was wearing a t-shirt that said "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." He asked if "that" happened in Vegas. Mrs. Poop loves him. Didn't buy the bed yet though, had to measure the room first.

4:00pm: Came home to Diesel, he's great.

4:45pm: Take a nap (sung to the tune of "Make it Clap")

7:00pm: Took Diesel for a walk. A standard poodle got off its leash and was going nuts, barking at Diesel, growling at him. Luckily, we practice Zen ("walk past the barking dog") and the poodle finally left us alone.

8:00pm: Ate dinner, watched TV, did a little cleaning.

More stuff to do tomorrow.

Why So Few Posts Today?

The day after the biggest sporting event of the year and only three posts? I know that's disappointing, sort of like the game itself. But I have a very good reason. Mrs. Poop was home today and we needed to get some things so I suggested a trip to Target. Why would I go to Target? Popcorn. At the front of the store they have a little snack bar and the popcorn is delicious. A big bag for only $1.29, that would cost $4.50 at the movies. In Penn Station its $1.50 for a bag half the size, with no butter and twice as much salt. Mrs. Poop got the popcorn combo, the small bag with a drink for a dollar. How do they stay in business? Anyway, thanks to the popcorn, if I have to go shopping, I'll take Target over any other place. So blame them for the light workload today.