I Guess That Makes Sense

Mrs. Poop and I just passed a new restaurant called "Stacks."
She said "we should try that place."
"Oh yeah? What do they have there?"
"Take a guess"
"Waitresses with large breasts?"
"Pancakes"
"That was my next guess."

You Win Some, You Lose Some, You Win Some

Every year in Maine we carefully plan our activities around the weather. We usually have only 5 or 6 days so if we plan non-beach activities on a sunny day, and end up with nothing to do on a rainy day, a good portion of our vacation will have been misspent.
This is why Mrs. Poop carefully selected the day we would take Chase to the amusement park at the pier.
We bought the unlimited ticket and for $23 (it's $2.40 for individual rides) little Chase could ride to his heart's content.

He rode the bear, the elephant...



the motorcycle, the jeep and several others.



We counted. He got to 10. And then they shut the ride down because of an impending thunderstorm. We thought it would pass. It didn't, we never got back on the rides.

But we did hit the arcade. At first we were just waiting under cover hoping the rain would stop. Then we all started to get antsy until I spotted a video game the whole family could enjoy: Deal or No Deal.

In the arcade version of the game you play for tickets instead of dollars. I let Chase pick every case number by hitting the buttons and he chose case 10, then proceeded to go on a ridiculous run, nailing 5 of the 6 smallest cases in the first round. We decided to keep going all the way to the end because we still had the 1000 tickets in play. But when we eliminated 75 with 3 cases less I told Chase to take the deal.



The best part of it was, it took a few minutes to play the game, but it took at least 10 minutes for it to dispense 502 tickets. And unlike the old days they don't want their functionally illiterate counter employees counting tickets. So when you are done, you have to insert your tickets into another machine to count them. Then it prints you one slip with a big number on it and you take that to the toy counter.




That took another 10 or 15 minutes. Chase ended up with a light up toy car that wasn't even worth the two dollars we put into the game, but by the time we were done it had let up sufficiently to allow us to go somewhere else for dinner.
A good deal if you ask me.

Song of the Week

"Into You" - Fabolous featuring Tamia
One of the best love songs in rap history.
"I don't bring the problems from the 90s into two-thou"

The Human Fund Starring George Costanza

A popular trend on youtube is recutting movies or shows (often several episodes) into one funny, but misleading movie trailer. There are tons of these on youtube, including many just for Seinfeld alone. But this is the best one, "The Human Fund."



I also liked "Jerry the Great"



But the recut by which all other recuts must be measured is this alternate trailer for "The Shining."

S.U.C.K.M.E Beautiful

There is a long-held theory among Mets fans about the team's inability to hit unknown, rookie pitchers with less than impressive resumes.
There's even a name for it: Some Unknown Chucker Kills Mets Everytime.
SUCKME!
When the Washington Nationals traded Jason Marquis (he's a good boychik) they needed a last-minute replacement.
They plucked Yuniesky Maya from their Triple A affiliate in Syracuse.
At Syracuse, Maya had a 1-7 record and a 5.32 ERA.
Entering his start against the Mets he was 0-1 with a 6.86 ERA.
So of course against the Mets he doesn't give up a hit until there are 2 outs in the 4th and ends up pitching 5 1/3 scoreless innings.
SUCKME!

If Sam Kinison Were Alive Today

The Gates Foundation is spending $1.7B on farming in Africa. There are two major obstacles to curing hunger in Africa. We have spent years and years and billions and billions of dollars and made hardly a dent. Reason #1: The warlords who run these countries enrich themselves and don't share the aid with the people.
I'll let Sam Kinison explain Reason #2:



"We have deserts in America. We just don't live in them asshole."

Do the Right Thing

The 2011 New York Mets are a fun bunch. They have shown a lot of spunk, heart and fight in maintaining an above-.500 record through two-thrids of the season despite the injuries which have sidelined Johan Santana, David Wright, Ike Davis and even Jason Bay.
But it's time to face reality: they are not making the playoffs. Baseball Prospectus gives them just a 3.6% chance. They are 6 1/2 games behind the Braves in the wild card race. And if you consider their chances against the Giants in the first round, I'd give the Mets a less than 2% chance of making the NLCS.
Under those circumstances I agree with the decision to trade Carlos Beltran to San Francisco for Zack Wheeler. So far this year Wheeler is 7-5 with a 3.99 ERA in Class A. He's hardly setting the world on fire, but he is considered a good prospect.
Being realistic about the organization, it is definitely the right move to trade a 2% chance of making the NLCS (assuming that gets wiped down to zero without Beltran, which isn't necessarily the case) for a good pitching prospect.
The 2012 Mets don't need an aging overpaid outfielder so even without the trade there was almost no chacne Beltran was going to be resigned for next season.



What to do about Jose Reyes is a much more difficult question. At this point I am convinced the Mets should keep him for the rest of the season. They obviously are playing above expectations, they haven't gotten a knock-your-socks-off offer and unlike Beltran, they can get two draft picks for letting Jose walk as a free agent.
And that's what I think the Mets should do.
I love Jose Reyes as much as the next guy but we have to face facts. He is having an unbelievable season, and is unlikely to duplicate it, especially as he gets older. Reyes is only 28, which is still young but a player of his style is likely to decline at an earlier age than a home run hitter. That is why I am wary of giving him a deal of 6 or 7 years.



If I were the Mets I would offer 5-years, $100 million (I think they can swing this despite the Madoff problems) and if he wants longer or more I would say "vaya con dios."

Even with Reyes, I don't think the 2012 Mets would be a World Series threat. The outfield is still very weak, unless Bay has an amazing rebirth. The starters are still questionable. We have no idea what Santana is going to be and we can't expect ERAs of lower than 3.50 for Pelfrey, Niese and Gee so I still don't feel confident about the starting rotation. And the bullpen will be a major weak spot, though under no circumstances should the Mets sign a big money closer, that's almost always a losing proposition. I also don't think Bobby Parnell has the temperament to close games.

In short, I'm saying what I have been saying for years. The Mets need to stop worrying about today, stop worrying about getting fans into CitiField this season, stop worrying about the New York Post, stop worrying about WFAN and start worrying about building a farm system that will create a World Series contender 3, 4 or 5 years down the line.

What Do You Give Me For? Cassi Colvin from Big Brother and Olivia Wilde

What do you give me for Cassi Colvin from Big Brother and Olivia Wilde?

I've Always Wondered About This

Even if you are not gay you might often wonder how male/male relationships work, sexually. How do they decide who gets to put it in whose ass and when? Do they each get a turn? Or does one guy get one night, and the other gets the next?

Thanks to your tax dollars we now have the answers. The National Institutes of Health subsidized a study on gay mens' penis size.

Here's what they found out:

Gay men who felt they had small or inadequate penis sizes were more likely to become “bottoms,” or anal receptive, while gay men with larger penises were more likely to identify themselves as “tops,” or anal insertive.

That seems a little counterintuitive to me. But what do I know about gay sex?

Song of the Week

"None of Your Friends Business" - Ginuwine
"mmmm mmmm damn mmmm"
Definitely one of my favorite songs from the late-90s/early aughts era in R&B.

What Do You Give Me For? Kim Kardashian and Old Navy Model

What do you give me for Kim Kardashian and the chick in the Old Navy ad?
Kardashian is suing Old Navy's parent company, Gap, over the Super C-U-T-E ad featuring Melissa Molinaro. Kardashian says the company purposely used a lookalike and people are mistakenly thinking that she is the one endorsing Old Navy clothes.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Pastor Joe Nelms delivering the prayer before the NASCAR Nationwide race this weekend:



Here's a picture of Pastor Nelms and his smoking hot wife Lisa:

Funny or Douchey?

At the World Series of Poker each year there is a Ladies Event and a Seniors Event. Both are $1,000 buy-ins and attract huge fields. It's either unlawful or against some rule for the casino to strictly prohibit people from entering a tournament solely based on their gender or age. But most people respect the intentions and don't enter unless they fit the qualifications.
But not Jonathan Epstein. He entered the Ladies Event, without even having the decency to dress in drag.
Before the knee-jerk reaction consider this: there's a lot of dead money in this tournament, a lot of dumb, hot chicks whose boyfriends staked them. Maybe Epstein is just trying to make some money. Or maybe he's protesting the inherent unfairness of exclusionary tournaments.
Consider that before you vote on whether a guy playing in the Ladies Tournament is Funny or Douchey? You may also need to view this one as more of a "Douchey/Not Douchey" since it's not inherently funny because as I mentioned earlier, he didn't dress in drag.

One of My Favorite Games Ever

25 years ago today, July 22, 1986, Dave Parker dropped a foul ball and started a movement.
The Mets were trailing the Reds 3-2 when they got a 2-out gift in the top of the 9th. Dave Parker dropped a fly ball and his expression of disgust (a slight punch of his fist in the air) became a symbol of dismay for many of us during our high school years.
The Mets tied the game and then in the 10th inning, it became a game for the ages.
Eric Davis and Ray Knight got into a turf war at third base leading to a bench-clearing brawl.



The ejections forced Gary Carter to play third base and the Mets to use pitchers in the outfield. Roger McDowell and Jesse Orosco shuttled back and forth between the outfield and the mound. Davey Johnson had seen Herzog do it earlier in the year with Worrell and a lefty, so he thought it would be interesting to try. Interesting to try, and interesting to watch.

The Mets won the game in the 14th on a 3-run homer by Howard Johnson.

The game was immortalized in the 1986 Mets highlight video "A Year to Remember."

I Was So Cute Once, What Happened?

Three years ago someone posted on Facebook a JCC Camp picture from 1984. That picture featured me, The Concierge, Focks and Washington Nationals pitcher Jason Marquis.
Here's another one recently posted. It's from 5th grade. I might be easy to spot. But there is another Poophead in there who might be a little harder to pick out from the crowd.

What Do You Give Me For? Cars 2 Edition

A little bit different for WDYGMF? this time, no voting, just marveling at how good a job the Pixar people do. I really think these cars do look like the people they intend to invoke.

Lewis Hamilton and Lewis Hamilton


Jeff Gordon and Jeff Gorvette


Prince William and Prince Wheeliam


Brent Musberger and Brent Mustangberger

Song of the Week

"Quickie" - Miguel
The guy has three songs and all of them made song of the week. The point is to get JLeary to admit he was wrong and that this guy is actually pretty dope.

What Do You Give Me For? Jason Mercier and Billy Walsh

What do you give me for Rhys Coiro (Billy Walsh on "Entourage") and poker player Jason Mercier

It's Getting Crowded

Diesel in Maine in 2007:



Diesel in Maine in 2008:


Diesel in Maine in 2009:


Diesel in Maine in 2010:


Diesel in Maine in 2011:

Why Does This Keep Happening?

In a few days Casey Anthony will be released from prison, serving three years for lying to police, but literally getting away with murder – the murder of her 2-year-old daughter Caylee.
This is quite probably the biggest miscarriage of justice since the OJ (I think it’s worse). So the big question is, what is wrong with our legal system? Why does this keep happening?



The culprit I’m angriest about is the idiotic juries. In order to be a juror on a huge case like this, that got so much media attention before the trial started, you basically have to be an idiot. I can’t imagine anyone with a curious mind, capable of deductive reasoning, meeting the standards (the incredibly low standards) required to serve on a jury in a case of such significance. These people tend to be simple-minded, and in this case and the OJ case they fell for far-fetched implausible narratives fed to them by the prosecution.
These same idiot jurors I feel have taken the meaning of the phrase “beyond a reasonable doubt” way too literally. Yes you can have doubts, in a situation of this magnitude, a young woman’s life is at stake, the decision-maker should always have doubts, it’s our minds’ way of making sure we make the correct decision. But are those doubts reasonable? What if they said aliens came down and abducted Caylee and dropped her in the woods 6 months later, then showed tiny footprints and crop circles in the area? Would that be a reasonable doubt? No of course not. But it seems to me these cases have become about keeping score, if the defense can get 2 points on the board, it doesn’t matter if the prosecution wins 98-2, they have to have a perfect shutout. The way I thought about it when I was on a jury was this: is there any reasonable doubt that the prosecution’s version of events is not true? Did the defense team’s evidence and testimony give you a substantial reason to think the events could have unfolded differently? If this jury had applied those standards I think they would have come back with a guilty verdict, or at least a hung jury. Remember, similar to the OJ trial, several of them said they were pretty sure she was involved somehow, but said the prosecution didn’t prove its case. Again, it’s a scorecard, not a right or wrong, fact or fiction, innocent or guilty.



The blessing and curse of DNA evidence. There is no doubt modern technology aids us in almost every aspect of human life. But in some cases it becomes a crutch. Facebook, twitter, bbm, this blog. I haven’t spoken to a human being in years. I rely on the technology. And such is the case with DNA evidence. I am sure DNA evidence has cleared many innocent people, and save many more from wrongful convictions, but in this case it got Casey Anthony off the hook. Basically, the new standard has become, if you can’t tie the accused to the murder scene with DNA, you can’t get a murder conviction. This is why many experts say the prosecution overreached in its charges, a legal stratagem I don’t feel equipped to discuss.
But I think that’s intellectually lazy on the part of these jurors (whom I doubt are all that smart to begin with). Casey (or the “real killer”) was obviously very careful to not leave any evidence, and in the most important aspect of the entire case, the body was hidden so well, it was not discovered for 6 months at which time the autopsy was of little help. Though it did initially say the cause of death was homicide, it was unable to come up with a definitive cause of death to the satisfaction of the jurors. During this intervening 6 months, any trace of a heart-shaped sticker (if there ever was one) wore off the duct tape, eliminating a potential smoking gun.
When I was on a jury (again I am basing a lot of my feelings about these idiots on my own experiences) the judge told us our job as a jury was to listen to conflicting accounts of the same events and to decide which person was telling the truth. It seems these jurors heard differing accounts, and punted. They chose not to believe either person, and just pointed at the lack of DNA evidence as a failure by the prosecution to score enough points.
For instance, Cindy Anthony says she was the one who Googled “chloroform” on the family’s home computer. The prosecution introduced evidence showing Cindy was at work when those searches were conducted. Instead of throwing out Cindy’s testimony has that of a desperate woman trying to save her daughter, they seemed to just ignore the obvious: Casey googled it, then used it to kill her daughter.
And then there is the smell of the car. Before there was even a case, there was the car. The mother, the brother and I think even a clerk at the impound yard, all said it smelled like a dead body. Even some cockamamie test the prosecution ran out there said the odor was consistent with that of a decomposing body. But because no hair fiber, or other DNA was ever found in the trunk, the jurors ignored this evidence too. This to me is one of the bigger pieces of evidence in the case. This convinces me there was a dead body in the car. How else could all these people (in their honest moments, before lying to protect Casey) say the trunk smelled like a dead body, scientific testing say there was a dead body and there have been no dead body? What the hell else was it? Did Casey hit a deer and put it in the trunk? Did she park it at the same valet Jerry used during the B.B.O. episode? Does that sound “reasonable” to you?
The other big mystery in this case was how did the body of Caylee end up tied up in the woods if she simply drowned in the family pool? The defense blamed George Anthony (World War II was his fault also according to Jose Baez) and the prosecution never really challenged it. And if she drowned and they were going to dispose of the body, why did they put duct tape on her mouth? Again these were complete lies thrown out there by the defense, unchallenged by the prosecution which obviously felt it didn’t need to disprove the outrageous lies of Casey’s lawyers, it only needed to bolster its own case.
There is no overall presentation score in a murder case. I have often complained about boxing and MMA scoring when the officials’ decision does not match up with what every spectator can plainly see with his or her own eyes. Similar to the legal system, in boxing the judges are asked to score each round separately, and add those up for a winner. Using the 10 point-must system not all 10-9 rounds are equal. So sometimes you can have a guy lose the majority of the rounds close, and dominate those he wins, but by the numbers, he comes up short.
That’s sort of what happened here, thanks to everything I mentioned above. The defense scored enough points, and the prosecution had enough holes in its case. But if you had to choose one story which of these would you believe (oversimplified for your reading pleasure):
A young woman who had an unplanned pregnancy (likely the result of a one-night stand with a now deceased man) at age 19, was desperate to move out of her parents’ home (likely a dysfunctional one) so she killed her two-year old daughter. She researched chloroform and neck-breaking on her computer then used what she learned to kill her daughter. She stashed the body in the trunk of her car. And when the smell got too great she dumped the body in the woods. She was very careful in plotting this crime – thus the lack of DNA evidence, but also the DA’s desire to get her for Murder 1, the premeditation of the crime – and left no smoking gun evidence of her crime. During the next month she moved in with at least two boyfriends, went out partying with friends, including the now infamous hot bodies contest. She even got a tattoo – Bella Vita – Italian for “beautiful life.” She also wrote in her journal of things being better this way.



Or
A loving mother who lives with her parents is so distraught by a terrible accident – her daughter drowning in a pool – that she goes out and does all those above activities to hide her guilt. She does this at the behest of her father who had been molesting her (and possibly forcing her to have sex with her brother) for years. This same father was the one who left the backdoor open and the ladder by the pool and he was the one who suggested the whole cover-up plan because he felt guilty. And even though he denied all this you can’t believe him because he is a suicidal adulterer.
Which one do you believe? And do you believe it beyond a reasonable doubt? Could you send a woman to likely death based on your belief?
I could, these jurors couldn’t which to me means Pascal’s Wager is probably the biggest reason for a not guilty verdict.
The jurors did what came at little cost to them. Maybe they were 90% sure, 95% or even 99% percent sure Casey did it, or was involved somehow. But they figured if they let her go, she’d probably never do anything like this again, meaning an acquittal comes with very little cost. Maybe a little guilt for letting her get away with murder, maybe the fear that someday she would kill again and you set a murderer loose, but that’s unlikely. But looking at it the other way, that small chance that they sent an innocent woman to Death Row (and not the really awesome record label) would have probably kept them up at night. So they took the easy way out. They let Casey Anthony get away with murder.