Super Bowl Prop Bets

This is always a fun post to do, check out the props and pick some of your own in the comments section.

MVP: Colin Kaepernick 8/5
I think the 49ers are going to win the game and if they do there is a very good chance Kaepernick will win the MVP. Even if the defense dominates, it’s unlikely there will be one standout. And by default the idiots who pick these things will go with the quarterback on the winning team.

First Player to score a TD: Anquan Boldin 17/2, Torrey Smith 17/2
I think these are pretty long odds, for these guys. I know running backs are always surer things but I’ll take both of them and see what happens.

Longest Reception – Torrey Smith: Over 28 ½ yards (-125)
I know the Ravens are at least going to try to go downfield to Smith. 29 yards doesn’t seem that long to me.

Total Tackles and Assists - Ray Lewis: Under 11 1/2 (+105)
That's a lot of tackles. In order for this to happen the 49ers would have to be running the ball up the middle a lot.

Total Rushing Yards - Colin Kaepernick: Over 50 1/2 (-115)
He had a huge game against the Packers, and barely ran against the Falcons. This is a tricky number because he will probably have to break one long one (20+) to get there, but I say he will.

Will Michael Crabtree score a touchdown: No (-115)
I feel this is going to be a low scoring game, with more of the focus on the 49ers running game. Sure it's possible Crab will grab one, but at nearly even odds, no looks like a good bet.

Who will have more receiving yards? Torrey Smith +12 1/2 Michael Crabtree (-115)
Maybe I'm mistaken here but I see the Ravens throwing the ball a little more often, and going deep more often. One big one for Smith makes this a good bet.

LeBron James Rebounds & Assists -3 1/2 Ray Lewis Tackles and Assists (-120)
Again this is a play on Lewis having only about 8 or 9 tackles. LeBron could easily mess around and get a triple double against the Raptors.

Blake Griffin Points and Rebounds pick'em Ray Rice receiving yards (-115)
I'm looking at 25 easy for Griffin and there's a good chance Rice only gets one or two short receptions.

How long will it take Alicia Keys to sing the National Anthem? Under 2:10 (-160)
It's actually a very short song and even the long drawn out versions seldom last more than 2 minutes. I think this line is easily exploitable.

Will Beyonce be joined by Jay Z on Stage during the Super Bowl Half Time Show? Yes (-105)
I have read that Jay-Z is going to be there and requested $5,000 worth of booze for his dressing room. I also read that Beyonce demanded that Blue Ivy's $20,000 crib be shipped from New York and that a room for her be kept at 78.8 degrees and filled with rose-scented candles. But if he's going to be there, he might as well do "Crazy in Love."

How many times will Jack Harbaugh be shown on TV? Under 2 1/2 (+135)
I've been following props like this for some time and seems like the Super Bowl production teams just don't do this as much as we think they would. Now, if one of the quarterbacks were dating Katherine Webb, that would be a different story.

How long will the post game handshake/hug last between Jim & John Harbaugh? Over 6 seconds (-120)
This is a no-brainer. It starts from the moment they touch until the moment they release. So if they handshake, hug, then break while still holding, they could easily break 10 seconds.

What Color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team? Red 13/2
I am thinking the 49ers are going to win, so I'll hope some clever 49ers sideline guy will have a bucket full of Red gatorade.

Darren Rovell tweets on Super Bowl Sunday? Over 104 1/2 (-115)
Not sure if you follow him but Rovell is the most prolific narcissist on Twitter. He might even do 200.

This is How You Do Local News

I have a lot of respect for local news reporters who go out in the field everyday and report, often with morons, trying to get into their shots to be on TV. We've seen reporters insult and even assault these morons, but nothing beats what Jessica Sanchez did to this moron on Bourbon Street.



"So how long have you had an STD?"
Brilliant!

A Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted

Sharon Osgood wired $5,900 to a man in Florida in exchange for 4 Super Bowl tickets.
Instead she got an envelope with a piece of paper with a picture of both Super Bowl quarterbacks on it. The message underneath read: "Enjoy the game!!!! Go Ravens!!! LOL."
I'm sorry Osgood got robbed (and it is a crime) but I don't really feel badly for her because she should have fuckin better known better.
1) She bought them on Craiglist
2) She was asked to wire the money
3) The seller lived in Florida but claimed to be a Ravens season ticket holder
4) The seller couldn't go to the game because his wife is 8 months pregnant
All of those things combined should have made it a dead giveaway that this was a scam. To make matters worse, this moron is now getting rewarded for being such a dupe. The CEO of Ticketmaster is giving her 4 tickets. That's a very bad message to send, be a moron, don't worry if you get scammed, just get some media attention for your plight and someone will pity you.
I say let Mrs. Osgood and all other fools out there learn this lesson the hard way. Tough love.

Maybe We Can Sweep Together

A funny trend that started on a brilliant episode of Seinfeld, "The Lip Reader," has now become an internet sensation.

It's called "Bad Lip Reading." The NFL version is hilarious



The spoof of Beyonce's Inauguration performance, entitled "La Fway" was also amusing, if a little bit too long.

Song of the Week

"Thrift Shop" - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
A very odd song, certainly not the highest quality musically or lyrically. But it's unique, and I like that it mocks our societal ill of placing value on expensive clothes.

Giselle In Training

Last year after the Super Bowl the hottest Patriot wife, Giselle, popped off angrily about the other Patriots, including Wes Welker, being unable to catch the ball.
After the AFC Championship game this year, it was the second hottest Patriot wife, Anna Burns Welker who ran her mouth off on Facebook:

"Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis' Wikipedia page. 6 kids 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay. What a hall of fame player! A true role model!"

She later apologized but Ray Lewis responded anyway, using a Bible verse of course, but not the one about the weapon. "Even a fool is counted wise until he opens his mouth."

But as far as I am concerned Mrs. Welker can do wrong. But, those aren't brains:

I Wish Lenny Dykstra Were My Dad

The Poop's favorite actress, Jamie-Lynn Sigler is now engaged, to Cutter Dykstra, son of Lenny Dykstra, the man they call nails on the Mets ballclub.
She is 31 and on the hysterical new NBC sitcom, "Guys With Kids."
He is 23 and in the minor leagues for the Washington Nationals.
The groom's father is currently in prison but will hopefully be out in time for the wedding.

Here's the picture the couple posted on Twitter to announce their engagement:

Chris Brown Should Be Locked Up

Chris Brown obviously hasn't learned any kind of lesson from the ass-kicking he gave Rihanna. His latest violent incident victimized someone who can actually sing, Poop favorite, Frank Ocean.
Details are sketchy at this point but it seems they argued over a parking space at a recording studio in Los Angeles. Entourages got involved and Brown reportedly punched Ocean in the face.
Brown didn't stick around long enough for the cops to arrive, which is why Ocean is being reported as the victim.
Brown's entourage says Ocean started it by talking shit and blocking in Brown's car. They also probably think Rihanna was asking for it.
But I actually hope it did happen that way. I would hate to see Brown continuing to be have in an aggressive and violent manner.
And I certainly hope he didn't hurl and homophobic slurs at Ocean, though I wouldn't be surprised.

What Do You Give Me For? The Icing on a Hostess Cupcake and Jack Lew's Signature

Jack Lew will likely be the next Treasury Secretary of the United States, which means his signature would be on all new paper money. Yes, that's his real signature. How much does it look like the icing on one of those delicious cupcakes by Hostess that are temporarily (I hope) not in stores while Hostess is looking for a buyer for its brands.

Take Another Little Piece of My Childhood

Over the years I have often been asked why I became a Redskins fan in a family full of Giants fans. Maybe it was because they were Giants fans. But I know I loved the city of Washington (hate it now), John Riggins and the big offensive lineman known as the Hogs.
But I also know I loved the Hogettes. Now those Redskins fans are hanging up their pig noses and ladies' dresses. They will still come to games, but dressed in jerseys and other licensed team apparel. They will still do their charity work. But the era is over.

Bourn To Run

I can’t believe I have to keep doing this (and maybe I don’t since most, if not all readers of this blog are on board) but it seems the dumb faction of Mets fans (Yankees fans in the wrong colors) are agitating for the Mets to sign Michael Bourn.
Bourn turned down $13m this year to stay with the Braves, so he’ll probably hope to get even more than that per year for a deal of 3 or 4 years.
Bourn is 30 and not even a particularly good player. He is below average offensively. His OPS+ for the last two years was 85 and 99 (100 is league average). He has zero power, and his on-base isn’t even good. He’s never been above .355 which is basically the minimum you could accept from a leadoff hitter.
If the Mets were so desperate for a leadoff hitter they should have kept Jose Reyes. He was a much better offensive player, at a more important position, though not as stellar defensively. His contract was for more years and slightly more money than what Bourn would probably get, but it would carry them to the same age 34 season. The Mets got only a 2nd round pick for Reyes (more on this in a moment). They made the right decision allowing Reyes to leave, now it's time to follow through on that plan.
I understand Bourn's WAR over the past 4 years (4.9, 4.7, 4.1 & 6.4) has been fantastic. Those numbers have been boosted by exceptional fielding and base-running numbers, which I acknowledge are important. But they can be very fickle, fluctuating wildly, and a move to a new park could incite a change in his defensive metrics. Though you would expect a speedy center fielder to be even better in a big park like CitiField.

Michael Bourn's excellent glove could add several wins for the Mets, but they'd still be a 4th place team

Even if you could guarantee Bourn would add 5 wins to the Mets, and they could get 5 wins from other improvements (highly doubtful), that would still make the Mets an 84-win team, good enough for 3rd in the stacked NL East, at best. That's the complicating factor when analyzing the cost and value of wins on the open market. Wins that help a team improve from 70-something wins to the low-80s are of very little additional value. It's those wins that boost a team from the low and mid-80s into the playoffs that bring in additional millions.
Now remember another extenuating circumstance, the Mets would have to surrender their first round pick, the 11th overall in the draft as compensation for signing Bourn. This is a little tricky because the CBA states that for players in Bourn's class who were tendered by their teams the signing team would have to give up its highest pick as compensation, but the top 10 picks are protected. Technically, the Mets pick was 10th overall, but a pick was added because the Pirates didn't sign their pick, bumping the Mets down to #11, thus making it eligible to be forfeited for signing a player such as Bourn. The Mets have petitioned the league to get their pick protected because of this technicality, a challenge they are almost guaranteed to lose. But even if they do win, it would still be unwise.
Forget all the specifics, and look only at the broader picture: we have been here before, tried this strategy and it didn't work, it saddled the team with bad salaries and crippled us for years. Signing expensive free agents, especially ones who are barely above-average players (like Jason Bay) as they start to enter the age where their skills will decline, is a losing proposition. Yes, there's a strong chance the #11 draft pick will never play a single day in the major leagues, but as we have seen the teams that have built through the draft have built through the drafted have strong cores ready to contend for years. Teams that sign big-ticket free agents often end up struggling to get out from under those contracts for years, something I hoped the Mets were starting to get passed.

Send it in Jerome

Today was the 25th anniversary of one of my favorite plays ever, and favorite calls. Jerome Lane of Pittsburgh breaks the backboard with a dunk and Bill Raftery exclaims "Send it in Jerome!"
I was sure I had written previously about this play, but it was kind of buried in an NCAA Tournament thoughts, a couple months after the 23rd anniversary.



This play is so special to me that I wanted to name the child now known as Julian, Jerome. I don't even think I told Mrs. Poop why at first, but once she completely shut me down I think I showed her the clip. Didn't change her mind though.

But I don't think she knows I slipped this past her.

Thanks to JLeary for inspiring me to go back and check exactly what I had previously written about this blessed event.

Cory Booker Saves Freezing Dog With His Bare Hands

Newark Mayor Cory Booker has reached mythical status with his various good deeds including helping save a neighbor from a fire.
He even had help from our beloved BC, burnishing his reputation on Twitter:

Now we can add a new incident to the Mayor’s heroic duties. A WABC reporter in Newark found a dog that had been left outside. She tweeted about the incident and eventually Mayor Booker came by and put the dog in a cop car, and asked the cop to turn up the heat.
The dog’s owners say they were away from the house and Cha Cha somehow got loose. Good thing Mayor Booker was there to save the dog’s life. Just a typical Thursday for the next Senator from New Jersey, when Bob Menendez resigns due to having sex with underage Dominican hookers.

She Knew I Was Going to Write This

As I have mentioned to many of you, the best perk of my new job is free dinner every night. A menu is sent at about 2. The final order is placed at 3:30 and dinner arrives at 5:30. Every day I send Mrs. Poop the menu and if it's something good she says "I hate you" and sometimes offers suggestions. Normally I e-mail her right away with my choices, but one day I was busy and hadn't even had a chance to look at the menu.

A few minutes before 3 she e-mailed:

"What are you getting?"

I responded "I haven’t looked yet, very busy I was hoping you would tell me."

But when I realized it was already past the deadline I looked at the menu and quickly fired off my order:

"Chops special burger French fries"

And then Mrs. Poop replied:

"There's a yummy looking mushroom burger with turkey bacon and provolone. Chops special burger i think it's called. Doesn't come with anything. Can order a side of fries for $3. No desserts for you unless you like baklava. You were supposed to have your order in 10 minutes ago!!"

And that is why we are soulmates.

You Won't See Her in the D-League

Amazing shot by Syracuse's Brittney Sykes, a half-court buzzer-beating heave to give the Orange a 60-57 win over St. John's.



Under the tutelage of Quentin Hillsman and the supervision of Dr. Darryl Gross the Orange women's basketball team has made great strides. Not to national power status (the #1-ranked freshman, Breanna Stewart, is from Cicero, NY and chose UConn over Syracuse), but certainly a strong team capable of making the NCAA tournament. So far, they are 16-2 with the losses coming to UConn (no surprise) and Temple (why can't we beat those fuckers?). The Big East is down this year, and there isn't another game with UConn so heading into the tournament with 5 or 6 losses it at least a possibility. If they can do that, a high seed and possibly a deep run could be in order.

But they'd have to win the national title in order for Mrs. Poop to get on board with Elashier Hall's hairstyle.

Or Carmen Tyson-Thomas for that matter.

Dominating the D-League

If you follow the NBA Developmental League (D-League), and I know you do, you may notice the preponderance and success of several former Syracuse Orange players.
Demitris Nichols was named D-League Player of the Week for the week ending January 20th. Nichols scored 26, 25 and 26 points (25.7 per game), shot incredibly well (63%) including 8 of 10 3-pointers. For the season he's putting up a respectable 17.6 points with 5.3 rebounds.
Fab Melo had his own D-League spurt right around Christmas. First he put up 16 points, 15 rebounds and 14 blocks (in one game) against the Erie BayHawks, then followed that up with 32 points, 9 rebounds and 9 blocks in the very next game. He has cooled off since then, but his averages of 11.6, 7.1 and especially 3.8 blocks are very respectable.

And then there is Arinze Onuaku who by one ranking was judged the #1 prospect in the D-League. He is averaging 14 points and 11.5 rebounds, but in only 24 minutes. A per-48-minute average of 23 rebounds is exceptional and could earn him a call-up when he gets healthy.
Rick Jackson is averaging 9.7 points and 9.4 rebounds for the Austin Toros.
Paul Harris is averaging 12.9 points and 9.7 rebounds.

Andy Rautins is hitting 40% of his 3s, and averaging 12.5 points per game.
Kris Joseph spent the year bouncing between the Celtics and its D-League team (where he teamed with Melo and averaged 17.7 points) before getting waived by Boston due to a contract technicality.
Obviously alumni are happy for all of these guys, and hopeful they have long and successful NBA careers.
But what does it say about the program and the coaching that so many guys are in the D-League seeking more "development?" You could make the argument they aren't getting enough instruction if NBA teams don't see them as ready for the league when they graduate or leave the program.
But I would disagree with that, here's why: Syracuse is in the midst of one of it's greatest runs in program history. Over the past 4 years the Orange are 119-25 for an .826 winning percentage (and they're 18-1 so far this year). Some of that is due to a very weak non-conference schedule, but they're still dominating the Big East, one of the strongest conferences in the country.
It seems to me that Jim Boeheim, despite catching lightning in a bottle with one of the best one-and-done players in college history, has eschewed those high-profile players, maybe not by choice, and accepted a second-tier recruit he knew would stay 3 or 4 years in the program. Those players have helped SU to some great regular seasons recently (disappointing tournament results however) because they stay 3 or 4 years in the program, growing, learning and maturing.
But they just may not be good enough to make the NBA.

The Harbaugh Mantra

We're going to hear a lot about the Harbaughs in the next 10 days or so, and eventually it may get tiresome, but here's a story I love.
Jack Harbaugh, the patriarch of this coaching coterie, used to ask his kids "who's got it better than us?" and the only correct response was "Noooooooo-body."
I love that, a positive uplifting message. The origin supposedly comes from Jack's own youth when he used to play with his friends all day and all night, and they used to repeat that refrain.
But now it has become a rallying cry for both teams.



And even a slogan for merchandise and t-shirts.

Song of the Week

"Ice" - Kelly Rowland featuring Lil Wayne
I always thought Kelly Rowland should be a bigger star than Beyonce, if only she looked as good. And married the right guy.
She is a better singer, doesn't overdo it, and her songs are better.
This sexy, female empowerment anthem is better than anything solo-Beyonce has ever done, IMHO.

What Do You Give Me For? Bill Russell and Morgan Freeman

George Stephanopoulos made a major fuckup during the inauguration coverage. The camera panned to an older black man with a white beard. Stephanopoulos said "that's Morgan Freeman, I think" but it was Bill Russell. Live TV is tough, and this certainly doesn't make him a racist, but does it make him bad at this game?

Mrs. Poop is a Douche

We have two credit cards, a Discover we use most often and another we use in places where Discover is not accepted. We almost never use that backup card. So Mrs. Poop was shocked to see an $18 charge on the backup card at McDonald's from a town about 20 miles away. She was sure this was not her. We very seldom eat McDonald's, and neither of us could remember the last time we did. And if we did ever eat there we would certainly pay cash. And if we were going to use a credit card, we'd use Discover. So she had me call up and protest the claim. A few days after I did that she remembered one time she did go to Mickey D's, when she had no cash and they wouldn't accept Discover. Our claim was denied anyway so we have to pay our rightful debt. But Mrs. Poop is still a douche.