Duke's Next White Prick

Throughout Duke's reign of terror as college basketball's most successful franchise, the school has always had hated white players.

Christian Laettner is most obvious but also JJ Reddick, Greg Paulus and others.

Here to take the mantle is Grayson Allen.

He's the guy who propelled Duke to the victory over Wisconsin in the National Championship game.

And now he is the guy who deliberately tripped a Louisville player

I Haven't Been to Red Lobster in a While

Red Lobster says it's seen an increase in sales since the release of Beyonce's new song "Formation."
Here's why:



For the hearing impaired, the lyrics go like this:

"When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster."

Red Lobster said sales surged 33 percent on Sunday, compared with last year’s Super Bowl Sunday.
“It’s clear that Beyoncé has helped create some Red Lobster fans,” Red Lobster’s chief, Kim Lopdrup, said in a statement.

Johnny Manziel Beats Up Really Hot Chick

Johnny Manziel is accused of beating his gorgeous ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley, hitting her so hard he ruptured her eardrum.
According to the affidavit she filed to get a restraining order against him (she got it, he can't have contact with her for two years) they broke up in December but she agreed to sleep with him on January 29th of this year at his hotel in Dallas after a night of partying.

"Manziel and I made plans to meet up at Hotel ZaZa after my friends and I finished partying. We planned to spend the night together in his room there.
"Two of my friends and I drove my car to Hotel Zaza...The three of us went up to Manziel's room. After some discussion about further plans for the night my two friends left...I stayed there with Johnny Manziel.
"We started having a discussion about things I had heard earlier in the week about him being with a girl who had caused us problems in the past. I told him if I was going to spend the night it would be on the couch"

At this point she says he threw her on the bed and though he claimed it was playful she was scared and tried to leave. He wouldn't let her. Then he dragged her down the stairs to the valet.

"When we got to the valet, I was crying and begged the valet, "Please don't let him take me. I'm scared for my life." The valet replied, "I don't know what to do" and proceeded to let Manziel literally throw me in the front passenger seat of his car."

Poop's note: This valet is a fuckin moron. You don't know what to do? A woman is begging you to help her and you don't know what to do? Call the fuckin cops. Was this valet Mike McQueary?"

As he was pulling out she jumped out of the moving car, but he drove after and "he grabbed me by my hair and threw me back into the car and got back in himself. He hit me with his open hand on my left ear for jumping out of the car."

Eventually he drove back to her apartment, threatening to kill himself and maybe her as well.
A neighbor overheard the fight and intervened at which point Manziel ran away.

Song of the Week

"Be Right There" - Diplo featuring Sleepy Tom
Maybe not so much a cover as an "interpolation" of Jade's "Don't Walk Away."
But no matter what you call it, I like it.

Diesel is the Best Dog Ever

I miss my best friend.
Found this post I had never completed.
Seems like Subaru knows my life.

Your Mother and I are Going on a Crooooooze

When Papa Poop asked me to drive them to the port in Bayonne I never expected my parents would later become part of an international news story.
But there they were, shut in their state room on Royal Caribbean's Anthem of the Seas while the ship was rocked during a massive storm off the coast of North Carolina. Waves of 30 feet and wind gusts of at least 75 miles per hour were reported.
At about 3pm Sunday afternoon seas started getting rough and all passengers were asked to go to their rooms and stay there. I believe my parents were seeing a show at the time and dinner afterwards (Papa Poop had agreed to skip the Super Bowl).

So they stayed in their room with nothing to eat except the minibar. Papa Poop ate a Snickers bar, some M&Ms and some grapes for dinner during the game (the TV signal never went out) but poor Mama Poop didn't fare as well, getting seasick.

Today it was decided that the ship would skip their appointed route and turn around and come home because of the forecast of more bad weather. The ship was damaged but mostly superficial, nothing that would make the ship unsafe.

So Mama Poop isn't going to Cape Canaveral or the Bahamas and she's probably not going to take them up on their offer for another cruise at a 50% discount (though she will gladly accept the full refund for this aborted cruise).

But Monday afternoon they briefly had an open bar and a frozen margarita helped ease her nerves.

Mama Poop did say she was fine, but wants off the boat, but is accepting this as a free 4-day vacation.

She was actually planning to zipline too, but all activities of that sort have been canceled.

Maybe next time.

Next Year Have This Guy Sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl

I've had enough of these diva singers dragging out the National Anthem and costing all us fine people who pick the under.
Next year, I vote for John Moschitta Jr. to sing the anthem. Here he is singing the first part of Michael Jackson's "Bad" in 20 seconds.



You probably remember this guy from a bunch of commercials he did in the 1980s, I remember the ones for Micro Machines.

Super Bowl L Prop Bets

We're going in with the attitude that the Panthers will win, win big and Peyton Manning will get beaten up and have a bad game.

First team to score 17 points
Panthers -170
I don't even think the Broncos will reach 17 points for the entire game

First turnover of the game
Interception -160
I expect Manning to throw at least 3

Will the game be decided by exactly 3 points
No -450
You think one of every 5 and half games ends by exactly 3 points? I don't and this one I consider even less likely to be so

Total Interceptions - Both teams
Over 1 1/2 -180
I would expect Manning to throw at least 2

Pick Your Own Point Spread
Carolina Panthers -13 1/2 +250
Interesting concept here, I like this idea though because I have the Panthers in a blowout.

Total Rushing Yards by Jonathan Stewart
Over 68 1/2 -110
This doesn't seem like a lot

Will Luke Kuechly intercept a pass
Yes +230
He has pick-6s in each of the last two games, plus the Thanksgiving game as well

Peyton Manning Pass Attempts
Over 35 1/2 -110

Will Peyton Manning throw an interception
Yes -210

Total Receiving Yards Demaryius Thomas
Over 72 1/2 +120

Odds for MVP
Cam Newton 5/7
Luke Kuechly 12/1
After Manning and Newton, Kuechly is the third choice. Surprising, but I guess I'm not the only one who thinks the Panthers defense is going to dominate

Player to Score First Touchdown
Ted Ginn 10/1
Newton likes him and Greg Olsen, I'll go with Ginn at slightly higher odds

Final score
Carolina wins by 25-29 Points 14/1

Now on to the fun stuff
Length of Lady Gaga's National Anthem
under 2:20 -120
I don't view her as someone who is going to painfully drag it out

What color footwear will Beyonce wear at halftime
Black +150
The obvious choice

"Yellow" is not the first Coldplay song -380
How can it not be "Skyful of Stars" does this band even have other popular songs?

Beyonce cleavage visible -275
She'll start covered up and then rip off her clothes to reveal some kind of weird top with mesh covering her boobies. But you'll see it and I'll win this wager

Weekly Picks

Lost track of the scoring but I know I have 46 points which is decent but not good enough.

BEST BET
CAROLINA -5 1/2 denver
Going a little chalky here but I just don't trust Peyton Manning. I really like Carolina and Cam Newton and I think this could be an old-fashioned blowout like we used to see in the 80s and 90s.

I Should Have Paid Better Attention in Mrs. Rosler's Class

The Mets are looking for Spanish language interpreter.

Here are the main job requirements:
Attend Mets Spring Training in Port St. Lucie, FL for all workouts and games.
Attend all Mets home and road games during the regular season, all Postseason games, and any other events to be covered by local or national media at which Mets uniformed personnel are present

Basically you get to go to every game and translate interviews for the Spanish-speaking players.
I would expect the Mets to get 1000s of applications for this job.
But it will probably go to a friend of Yoenis Cespedes and this whole process is a sham to satisfy some fair employment posting requirements.

Song of the Week

"No Diggity" - Chet Faker
I've been hearing a lot of weird cover versions lately. I plan to devote the entire month of February to them.

Song of the Week

"Blinded By the Light" - Manfred Mann's Earth Band
I know the lyric is "deuce" but he says "douche." Either intentionally or because of a speech disorder, but he says "douche."
Originally a Bruce Springsteen song, but he enunciated "deuce" so it never became popular.

Blake Griffin Breaks Hand on Equipment Manager's Face

"Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin injured his right hand after hitting a member of the team's equipment staff during an argument, multiple sources told ESPN's Michael Eaves.

According to the sources, Griffin and the equipment staffer got into an argument in a restaurant during the team's trip to Toronto. Griffin hit the man, who then left the restaurant and went outside. Griffin followed him outside and hit him again.

Griffin suffered a suspected fracture in his hand in the incident, sources told ESPN's Marc Stein and Ramona Shelburne early Tuesday morning.

The equipment staffer's face was injured, sources told Eaves. Both Griffin and the equipment staffer were sent home after the incident. Griffin and teammate DeAndre Jordan are good friends with the staffer involved in the incident, according to sources. Griffin, in fact, has vacationed with the staff member."

I can't wait to see who this equipment manager is, but I doubt he would be someone with whom Griffin could have a fair fight.
Apparently the team has not fired the equipment manager but I bet that is coming, along with a nice pile of cash for him to keep his mouth shut.
Pretty crazy though that the guy ran outside and Griffin followed him and beat on him some more.

Weekly Picks

Every year I lean towards the chalk. I pick 1 vs 2 in the championship games. This year I pick two 6s and what happens? 1 vs 2 in both conferences.

new england -3 DENVER

BEST BET
CAROLINA -3 arizona

Ambivalence

The Mets have signed Yoenis Cespedes for 3 years, $75 million, with $27.5 million in the first year and an opt-out for Cespedes after year 1.
I like the deal. I think the Mets got a good player for a short contract. It's a lot of money, but in baseball nowadays it's better to pay more money for fewer years, than to get a long-term discount.
The Mets get an excellent hitter, a right-handed power bat, something they didn't have.
If he hits the way he did last year for the Mets, at an MVP level, he will make the entire lineup better and be well worth the money.
And he will do it all while giving the Mets another year to evaluate Lagares and Conforto while not totally relying on them to perform.

BUT... This move really hurts the Mets defense. Lagares is a great centerfielder and Yoenis is a very good leftfielder. Cespedes is an average centerfielder and Conforto was good last year, but there's reason to believe he benefited from a small sample size.
The Mets are spending a lot of money on two bad defensive middle infielders (Cabrera & Walker) and weakening the outfield too might be a bad idea, especially in a big park.

Also, Cespedes is not as good as he was last year. His OPS in 2013 and 2014 were 736 and 751. Last year he improved to 870. If he reverts to sub-800, he would not have the positive impact we hope for. Also, he would not have the suitors next year and would like opt in for two more years with the Mets.

Lastly, I don't like his attitude. He's made some bone-headed plays and he doesn't always try hard.

In summary, if we get the Cespedes of late 2015, the Mets made a great move.
If we get the Cespedes of 2013 & 2014, we're stuck with a basically average outfielder at an exorbitant cost for 3 years.

Only time, and Cespedes will tell.

10% of People Surveyed Are Trolls

You may have heard the report that 10% of college graduates believe Judge Judy serves on the Supreme Court.
There is no way that is true. 10% probably never heard of her, were joking, thought the question was stupid.
And believe me, I am not overestimating the intelligence of the American public, or holding a college in degree in artificially high esteem. I just think these polls and questions are dumb and not taken seriously.

But the real reason I post this story is because Razor is actually a huge fan of Judge Judy's and wishes she did in fact serve on the Supreme Court.

Song of the Week

"Starlight" - Muse
I'm not a big fan of this music, so I can't tell you which came first, Muse or Coldplay, but they sound alike to me.
I do like this song but I'm willing to change my mind if I found out the lead singer married a douchey actress.

Weekly Picks

Lousy start to the playoffs.
The only game I got right was the only one I wanted to lose. Fuckin Steelers really pissed that one away.
And there are so many injuries this week that it's hard to figure out whom to pick.

NEW ENGLAND -4 1/2 kansas city
If Gronk plays they will win.

seattle +1 1/2 CAROLINA
I picked the Seahawks to win it all before the playoffs started so I'm sticking with them even though I wish I were getting 3 1/2 instead.

pittsburgh +7 1/2 DENVER
Very difficult to be confident in Pittsburgh without Antonio Brown and an injured Ben Roethlisberger but the Broncos do have problems of their own.

BEST BET
ARIZONA -7 green bay
I know the Packers exploded and destroyed my beloved Redskins last week but I still wasn't wowed by them, I think the Skins just choked and made bad plays and bad decisions.

Last week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 47-42 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (9-9)

John Starks Wasn't Sure Either

Columbia University's basketball team played a team from Central Pennsylvania College over the weekend.
In advance of the game the Columbia Spectator wrote:

"...forward John Starks Jr.—son of former New York Knicks guard John Starks—is second on the squad with 17.1 points per contest. "

Only problem is, despite the name, he is not the son of that John Starks.

Columbia issued an apology.

What makes this even crazier is that when we were discussing this story, someone walked in with a brand new intern and said "this is Grant Hill."

Turns out this intern's father went to Duke, his name was Hill obviously, and Hill was a recent Duke star, so he named his son Grant.

Song of the Week

"Changes" - David Bowie
This is pretty much the only David Bowie song I know, because it was in "The Amazin Era," a recap of the first 25 years of the Mets existence, chronicling the part of their history when the Mets traded Tom Seaver and Dave Kingman on the same day.