This Would Be the Best Episode of Saturday Night Live in At Least 10 Years

My favorite part is that Monster Gaga is wearing a dress made entirely out of cookies. The producers of Sesame Street are so smart. They have such a great attention to detail (the cheesy picture SNL uses for the bump-in, thanking Lorne Michaels, the closing credits), everything is just so well done. But I doubt SNL will give in to popular demand again or Bristol Palin would be hosting.

Weekly Picks

I'm still chopping away, finally improved to above 50% overall and have a pretty decent score thanks to winning 64% of my best bets.

OAKLAND -3 miami
Despite last week's destruction by the Steelers I still think the Raiders are better than the Dolphins.

kansas city -2 SEATTLE
I think the NFC West really stinks and I think the Chiefs are the type of team to beat lesser opponents.

philadelphia -3 CHICAGO
I don't think the Bears are any good. Have I mentioned that before?

ATLANTA -1 1/2 green bay
Matty Ice doesn't lose at home.

BEST BET
pittsburgh -6 1/2 BUFFALO
If the Bills win three in a row I'll eat my shorts. So now it's just a matter of the Steelers winning by a touchdown.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 28-27 (31 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (7-4)
Home Favorites: 1-2 (8-8)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (10-12)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (9-7)

Do You Even Need to Ask?

Happy Thanksgiving

Song of the Week

"If You Really Wanna Go" - No Question
I listened to this entire album again, I have no idea how these guys didn't become huge stars.

The NFL is Poop - Week 11

This is the End
The Vikings fired Brad Childress for starting the season 3-7, but his biggest sin was sending a group of players to Mississippi to recruit Brett Favre for one more season. This team was really good last year and about the only difference is the play of Favre. And now it turns out Brett Favre may head for the hills also. I personally think Favre will hang on for 6 more games though to maintain his string of consecutive starts. No matter what happens though, coming back this season has permanently disgraced Favre’s name and legacy.

Are the Cowboys 3-7 or 2-0?
We know Wade Phillips is a bad coach but it couldn’t have been all his fault, could it? Two games is a little too early to give all the credit to Jason Garrett, but if he can win two games with Jon Kitna, he must be doing something right.

Maybe Big Ben Was Talking to His Daughter Before the Game
Richard Seymour delivered an open-handed slap to the face of Ben Roethlisberger. Apparently he was talking some kind of trash to him and Seymour said it was a natural reaction. They could have used Seymour to be a little tougher before he got ejected. They were down 20-3 at that point and ended up losing 35-3. And he got fined $25,000 by the league office. But at least we learned the Raiders are total pretenders who won 3 in a row against inferior competition.

Cardiac Kids
The Jets last four wins have all come on last second scores, against weak teams (Broncos, Browns, Lions and Texans). Either this bodes well because Mark Sanchez is proving he can make plays to win games or it bodes poorly because they can’t put away bad teams and will have trouble when the competition stiffens.

Vince Young is a Big Baby
Vince Young is a talented player who had a great college career. But since turning pro every time something didn't go his way he acted like a spoiled child. The most memorable incident is when he left his house with a gun, leading others to believe he was suicidal. His mom was so worried she called the team. But Young later played off the entire incident as a misunderstanding. There's no misunderstanding what he did Sunday against the Redskins. Young hurt his thumb during the game, and when he warmed up to try to come back in coach Jeff Fisher said his throws were inaccurate. He elected not to bring Young back, and the Titans lost. After the game he threw his shoulders pads into the stands. Then he reportedly muttered under his breath during Fisher's postgame speech. That led to a huge blowout between them. Young is angry that Fisher didn't have the confidence in him to bring him back. Fisher is angry that Young is a spoiled brat. The Titans held a team meeting to discuss Young's future, and Young was told not to attend. He's been put on IR. The Titans owe him $8.5m for next season (if there is a next season) but I think Tennessee will either get rid of Young or get rid of Fisher.

The Best Day of the Year
If you are a football fan the best day of the year is Thanksgiving. This year’s games are terrible, all 3 have a discrepancy of at least 4 wins between the two teams. New England should kill Detroit in the opener, the Jets will likely beat the Bengals on a last second play in the nightcap but the middle game could be meaty. If the Cowboys are really rejuvenated under Jason Garrett they could give the Saints a hard time at home.

If The Super Bowl Were Played Today
You’d have to say New England and Philadelphia would be in it. And in this rematch I could see the Eagles winning. Michael Vick obviously is not going to play the way he did against the Redskins every week. But he did more than enough against a much better Giants defense to win the game, though he had a lot of help from Eli Manning.

What Do You Give Me For? The Guy in the Training Video and Briles

What do you give me for Briles and the guy in the document retention training video?

Product Review: Shutterfly

We just had our annual Poop family holiday card photo shoot. I can't reveal any details about the card other than that all 5 of us were in it and that between Chase, Julian, Diesel and "Blinky" Mrs. Poop, it's very hard to find a shot where all of us are looking at the camera and smiling.

The other thing I can tell you is that the card is coming from Shutterfly.



We have used the site for our holiday card in the past, because it has good prices, good backgrounds and quality printing paper (not some cheap piece of paper, real photo quality prints).

And it doesn't have to be just for Hanukah or Christmas, check out the Valentine's Day Card Mrs. Poop made a couple years ago.



I can reveal that we will be ordering our card from among shutterfly's Hanukah layouts. There are 57 of them, usually us Jews don't get that many to choose from.

Shutterfly will not only help you with your holiday card, it can provide you with a cheap and easy gift idea, especially for grandparents. We really like shutterfly's photo books. We took a trip for my parents 40th anniversary and made them one to commemorate it. This year we made a great book capturing Julian's birth.

Another great gift idea is a calendar. Once again I am targeting my comments to those of you with children because you can take pictures of your kids from each season (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, etc) and spread them out through the appropriate month. You can also use pictures of people to mark their own birthdays.

So check out shutterfly and you might find something good/easy to buy this holiday season.

Wu-Tang Is the Second Best Musical Group To Come Out of Staten Island

"Tender Love" by the Force MDs is one of the classic R&B songs of the 1980s. Enjoy the video, which looks like it was shot a few doors down on the same block where they used to shoot the fabulous Marla Gibbs comedy "227" (notice the 239 on the door).



While listening to the song on youtube, I noticed several cover versions (none of which stand up to the original) by Alicia Keys, Kelly Rowland and Uncle Sam (with Boyz II Men on background).

So I went to the group's Wikipedia page to see if there are any other notable cover versions I should be aware of. Instead I learned the group was formed in Staten Island, and they used to sing for money on the Staten Island Ferry.

Weekly Picks

MIAMI -2 chicago
The Bears are now the worst 6-3 team in NFL history. I like this matchup with the Dolphins strong defensive line.

PITTSBURGH -7 1/2 oakland
I know I said I liked the Raiders, and I do, but this game just seems too obvious. The Raiders are on fire, the Steelers just got smoked at home. The spread looks huge, but that makes it too easy to pick the Raiders.

NEW YORK JETS -6 1/2 houston
The Texans pass defense is the cure for what ails Mark Sanchez.

atlanta -3 ST. LOUIS
If the Falcons are really the best team in the NFC they need to beat teams like the Rams.

BEST BET
baltimore -11 CAROLINA
Why do I get the feeling I am falling into a trap? I am throwing out my backup quarterback rule because this guy never played. And the Panthers are short on running backs too. I don't expect a letdown from the Ravens because they lost last week, in tough fashion. I think 90% of the people will pick this game.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 25-25 (27 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-4)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (8-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (9-7)

Get Er Done

If Denny Hamlin wins the NASCAR Sprint Cup I will win $130. I bet on Hamlin in early May at the Conch's Bachelor Party. Hamlin leads 4-time defending champion Jimmie Johnson by 15 points. His lead would have been bigger but his crew chief cautiously made him stop for gas last week costing him valuable track position. Instead, he can win if he finishes 3 places behind Johnson (assuming they both earn the same amount of bonus points) which would likely mean a tie, Hamlin owns the tiebreaker with more wins.

Either way, I'm proud of my bet, showing once again my NASCAR knowledge.

Mrs. Poop's Awesome Speech at Poppy's Retirement Dinner

And she didn't cry!

The Democrats Need Someone with Proven Leadership in Washington

Representative Heath Shuler says he will challenge Nancy Pelosi for the position of House Minority Leader when Congress goes back in session in the new year. Shuler has no chance of winning because despite her insanity Democrats still love her. Also, Shuler is about as conservative as a Democrat can be (he’s from North Carolina, big on family values and a fiscal conservative) which means he’s mostly unpopular inside his own party. What he’s hoping to accomplish by this is to bring the Democrats back to the center instead of the far left where Obama and Pelosi have taken them.



I’m a major supporter of Shuler’s because I like his politics and because he’s the best quarterback the Redskins have had since Mark Rypien. Unfortunately his career was derailed by injuries. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now he was forced to turn to a second career, one in which he can accomplish goals toward a greater good.

Upon Further Review

ESPN completely blew its initial reporting on Donovan McNabb's new contract causing me to overreact.
Turns out the $40m guaranteed figure was completely wrong. The only thing he is guaranteed is $3.75m. They paid him that money for the right to lock him in at $12.5m for next season. But if this year ends in disaster (seems quite possible) and they decide to part ways, they can. If not, they pay him a $10m bonus and another $2.5m in base salary for 2011. After that they can cut him at any time, like any other NFL contract. If not, his salary is about $13m per, not including incentives.
So while the deal is bad, and especially ill-timed it is not the franchise killer I feared when I read ESPN’s initial erroneous reporting.

Song of the Week

"Aston Martin Music" - Rick Ross featuring Drake and Chrisette Michele
I like Rick Ross, love Chrisette Michele and hate Drake. 2 out of ain't bad.
Plus this is the first rap I've ever heard to mention Elroy Jetson.

The NFL is Poop - Week 10

The Most Embarrassing Loss in History
I have never seen a more disgraceful performance in my life than the stinker the Redskins put up against the Eagles. The fact that they ended up scoring 4 touchdowns to make it seem less bad at 59-28 doesn’t wipe away the worst first quarter in the history of the NFL. The Redskins allowed 28 points (and that doesn’t include the touchdown on the first play of the 2nd quarter), and put up 23 yards while making no first downs. The fact that this came at home was bad enough but the timing of it makes it even worse. The Redskins just gave a 5-year, $78m contract to one of the worst starting QBs in the NFL (29th out of 34 qualifiers in passer rating) and then get smoked like this on Monday Night Football. McNabb finished with 17 for 31 for 295 yards and 2 touchdowns including a couple nice long balls. But don’t let that hide the facts. He absolutely sucked while this game was even the least bit competitive. 2 for 6 for six yards and no first downs. Anything he did after doesn’t matter, the game was over at that point. And we are signed up for 5 more years of this shit.

Best Performance Ever
Michael Vick just played the best game any quarterback has ever played. 20 for 28 for 333 yards, doesn’t sound great but when you dig deeper and see how he did early, the perfect passes he threw, with high degrees of difficulty, I’d be hard pressed to remember a finer performance. And he had another 80 yards and 2 touchdowns running. Granted the Redskins defense provided little or no resistance (at least in part due to the fact they were on the field for the entire first quarter) but he was just plain awesome. I’m not sure what they did to him in prison but he has become a much better quarterback. He could always throw, he could always run, but now he is hitting the right receivers at the right time. Even though he missed a few games, at this point it would be almost impossible not to give him the MVP award.



The Most Amazing That Did Not Happen in the Redskins-Eagles Game
An amazing Hail Mary completion by David Garrard to Mike Thomas to give the Jaguars a 31-24 win over the Texans. You almost never see these plays actually work. I don’t blame Glover Quin for batting the ball as he did, that is what you are supposed to do and the Jags just got really lucky to grab the deflection.



If the Super Bowl Were Played Right Now
New England Patriots 31 Atlanta Falcons 17
Note: Because the league is so topsy-turvy this year, I am bringing this back for a little while.
A week ago the Patriots got bamboozled by the Cleveland Browns then they dominated the Pittsburgh Steelers on the road. Who else would you pick from the AFC? The Jets? They just played three bad games in a row and only emerged 2-1 because the Lions and Browns are inferior. The Ravens? They just lost to the Falcons, though in very questionable fashion (uncalled offensive pass interference by Roddy White). The Colts? Yeah they have Peyton Manning but everyone else is hurt. I actually do like the Raiders and the Chargers but I need to see 2 or 3 more wins from each before I’m a believer.
As for the NFC, the Falcons have the best record, the Giants just got embarrassed by the Cowboys, the Bears are the worst 6-3 team ever and though I like the Packers they have a lot of injuries and some poor play too.

This Makes No Fuckin Sense

Many of you who read this blog do so because you want my unique perspective on things. So I assume many of you are wondering what I think of the news that Donovan McNabb has been given a 5 year $78 million dollar extension by the Redskins.
I think Dan Snyder must be fuckin nuts.
And I think Mike Shanahan must not be running the show.
Shanahan rightfully benched McNabb for being terrible, and it's like Snyder felt the need to apologize. I have no idea why this happened now, with no one interested in his services for next year and the possibility of a lockout looming.
Maybe Snyder thinks he can salvage this season by making McNabb happy.
But he can't McNabb isn't good anymore. He's the 25th rated QB in the NFL. You can easily replace that.
Colt McCoy is better than him right now, why wouldn't we dump McNabb and try to get someone else in the draft.
This is why all my teams suck. An ownership unwilling to bite the bullet and suck, instead choosing the path of expensive contracts for old shitty veterans.
In about a year, the Redskins will be wanting to do to McNabb what they wanted to do to Albert Haynesworth in the summer, ie cut him and pay him $40m guaranteed for one year of service.

Weekly Picks

If Jerricho Crotchery throws Santonio Holmes a block in overtime I'm celebrating a 5 point week. Instead I'm licking my wounds and remembering why I hate the Jets. Lots of games I like this week, because there are so many spreads that are essentially pickems.

new york jets -3 CLEVELAND
I think the Jets are better. I recognize the Browns are good but they get lucky too. Maybe the Jets will be the first team to make Colt McCoy look like a rookie.

houston +1 1/2 JACKSONVILLE
The Texans are a better team. The Jags are very up and down and I think this is their time to be down.

philadelphia -3 WASHINGTON
We suck. The Eagles are much better. The last game was a fluke. Even if we hurt Vick again we're not going to win this game.

dallas +13 1/2 NEW YORK GIANTS
Last week Dallas lost by 38 and the Giants lost by 34. Those results are rare in the NFL.

BEST BET
minnesota -1 CHICAGO
The only quarterback who makes Brett Favre look cautious is Jay Cutler. The Bears are a bad team in a 5-3 record and I think the Vikings might be able to get a little something going.


Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 22-23 (25 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-3)
Home Favorites: 00 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (6-11)
Road Underdogs: 2-0 (8-6)

Get It While It Lasts

Throughout the history of time there popped up popular services offering unlimited access to copyrighted content (napster comes to mind). Those services are almost always shut down immediately. But for a brief time they provide access to all the content you want, totally free.
Right now we are living in the age of atdhe.net
The site offers access basically every game in the four major professional sports giving you basically free access to NFL's Sunday Ticket, MLB's Extra Inning and NBA's League Pass. Thanks to atdhe.net I have seen every Redskins game this year. Wait, maybe that's not such a good thing. I also get the Red Zone channel, which is awesome.
But perhaps the best feature is the free pay-per-views. I watched UFC 121 live for free. And if you're into that sort of thing tonight's Pacquiao-Margarito fight purports to be available free of charge as well.
Who knows if the site will still be up by tonight, but if it is, we should enjoy it while it lasts.

The NFL is Poop - Week 9

Never to Be Heard From Again
The Dallas Cowboys finally, mercifully pulled the trigger on Wade Phillips. The team was 1-7 and just got embarrassed 45-7 on Sunday Night Football, which is often the most watched program in America each week. Jerry Jones had sworn he wasn’t going to fire Phillips in the middle of the season but he had to. He never should have made such a strong pronouncement in Phillips’s favor, but either way, this had to be done. And there is no way he will never get a head coaching job. He is one of the worst coaches I have ever seen and I have no idea why he was ever hired and rehired in the first place.

There’s Still Some Magic Left
Brett Favre is clearly over the hill. But evidently that hill doesn’t go straight down. Favre recaptured some of his old magic by leading the Vikings on two touchdown drives in the fourth quarter with a couple of great passes to Visanthe Shiancoe. That those two drives came after Favre drove his team to the 2 and got intercepted, then to the 1 and threw a bad pass on 4th down for an incompletion. But the Cardinals last 4 drives including overtime netted minus-8 yards giving Favre plenty of chances to tie the game.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
I don’t do this running gimmick every week, but if I did it right now I might have the choose the Raiders and the Giants. The Giants are clearly the class of the NFC. Not only are they rushing the passers as they did in their Super Bowl season they are scoring more than 32 points per game over their 5-game winning streak. And the Raiders over the last 3 games don’t just look like a good team, they look like a Super Bowl contender. With the Jets, Patriots, Colts and Steelers all losing the in the past 2 weeks the Raiders are the only AFC team with a winning streak as long as 3 games. They are outscoring opponents 115-37 (38-12 on average). They’re now second in the league in rushing yards per game which I think could translate well later in the season.

Here They Come Again
Despite playing without Antonio Gates, Malcom Floyd and Legedu Naanee, Philip Rivers used Randy McMichael and Seyi Ajirotutu in a win over the Texans. Rivers has thrown for 2,944 yards in 9 games (327 yards a game), well ahead of Dan Marino’s record setting pace. That Rivers is doing it despite major injuries to his receiving corps is leading many to believe the Chargers have one more comeback in them. It seems every year they have huge preseason expectations, disappoint initially, then rebound to make the playoffs. Right now they are 4-5 with games remaining against the Raiders and Chiefs (direct division competition) and they end the season with San Francisco, Cincinnati and Denver. There other games are next week vs. Denver and the following week the Colts. Even if they fall to 4-7, they could still win their last 5 games and win the division at 9-7.

Obligatory Redskins Bye Week Post
No way we beat the Eagles twice in one season. Not with Michael Vick playing the way he is and Donovan McNabb playing the way he is. It looks like McNabb will be the starter, and hopefully he is ready to prove his doubters wrong. He said the Eagles made a mistake after he beat them the last time. With a win here the Redskins remain in playoff contention and he can prove his own coach wrong this time.

Song of the Week

"You Be Killin Em" - Fabolous
I love Fab, so glad he's back, haven't heard from him in a while.