I went to a UFC fight and a medical drama broke out. In one of the strangest cards in history, two fights ended early due to accidental eye pokes, one ended early due to a grotesquely injured thumb, but thankfully the main even reached a natural conclusion despite a disgusting bloody broken toe.
But let's start at the beginning. Tickets for previous UFC events had been so expensive and so hard to come by that TON and I didn't even think of attending UFC 159 until the last minute. We got our tickets for $120 and we got DaveBern and off we went.
The Prudential Center is a pretty nice arena, with a good location for most Jerseyites, the only problem is parking. For me it was easy, I literally made one left turn, drove 20 miles, then made a right and was at the Rock. I parked in a lot right across the street, a steal at $20.
I tried again to get a table at Dinosaur BBQ which didn't work out so well
last time. This time we still had to wait about an hour, but the Nets-Bulls 3OT game kept us entertained and it didn't seem that long until I got the text saying our table was ready, right as the third overtime was nearing conclusion. We were taken to a table in the back, but we complained so we were relocated to a table right near the TV, but too late, the game was already over.
The food of course was delicious
and we got to our seats in plenty of time to see the first fight.
There were two on the Facebook undercard, 4 on the FX undercard and 5 more on the main card. 11 fights, 5 1/2 hours, not bad when you compare it to a baseball or basketball game that lasts 2 1/2 to 3 hours. The first two fights were boring, the next two fights, including the women's match were pretty good, and that's when the craziness started.
A pretty boring fight between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante had one of the most controversial endings you'll ever see. OSP hit Villante with a thumb to the eye, an accidental foul that is quite common in MMA. The referee saw the poke and almost immediately called off the fight. In the arena we had no idea what happened (though I did guess correctly) and no idea how the fight would be decided. Because it was the third round, it went to the referees' scorecards. They all scored the 3rd round (all 33 seconds of it) 10-10, so OSP won the fight by winning the first two rounds on two of the judges' scorecards.
When I watched the fight back later on TV, you could clearly hear referee Kevin Mulhall ask Villante if he could see. He said "no" and Mulhall waved off the fight. Horrible refereeing. Of course he couldn't see, he'd just been poked in the eye. But vision can return quickly in those situations. Give him a minute, call in the doctor, don't just wave off the fight. Stupid incompetent referee. Even Villante was pleading with him to let the fight continue.
But that was just the beginning, the next fight ended in a similarly disappointing way. Rustam Khabilow was suplexing Yancy Medeiros all over the octagon. On one of the throws Medeiros put his hand down, and broke or dislocated his thumb. Not as gruesome as it could have been. But bad enough so that Medeiros could not continue.
So that fight had to end early also, but Khabilow won due to TKO, which was unsatisfying, but at least fair, because the injury came out of something Khabilow was doing.
That marked the end of the free card and on to PPV we went. If you ever watch the live prelims you know Dana White and Joe Rogan scream at each other while the "Teenage Wasteland" plays and the crowd screams. What is the crowd reacting to? An awesome montage of the best fighters and moments in UFC plays on the jumbotron while Joe and Dana preview the upcoming card.
It was kind of a lull after that while Mike Goldberg and Rogan introduce the card. And they actually used "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston during that interval. Strange.
To keep the weirdness going, we had the first ever Bruce Buffer fuckup. In his normal overdramatic scream he announced the winner of the first fight, "Jiiiimmmmmmmmm Millllllllerrrrrrrrrrrr." Unfortunately, Pat Healy won, and Buffer quickly corrected himself.
Phil Davis and Vinny Magalhaes was a boring fight.
But then came what I think was the fight of the night. Roy Nelson vs. Cheick Kongo. This is what they looked like at the beginning of the fight (roughly)
And this is what they looked like at the end of the fight when Nelson KTFOed Kongo, pretty much with one punch.
You can't judge a book by its cover in MMA. If it were a body-building contest, Kongo would win. If it were an eating contest, Nelson would win. But it's a fight, and the worst physique in the UFC beat the best.
And yes, I understand all that, and it's all true. But if Roy Nelson dedicated himself to getting in better shape, losing 10 pounds of fat, he'd be a much better fighter. He'd have better endurance and he'd be quicker. He wouldn't be as funny but he might be a much more serious fighter.
Up next was Alan Belcher vs Michael Bisping. Another pretty boring fight. Belcher did absolutely nothing, so Bisping decided he only need to do a little more to win. He threw jabs, a couple of combinations but nothing too damaging. But then he accidentally poked Belcher in the eye. This time Herb Dean called the doctor in, who said Belcher could not continue because his eyelid was lacerated. Again, for the second time we went to technical decision. Bisping won easily.
And finally it was time for the main event.
Unfortunately it wasn't much of a fight. Jones dominated Sonnen, knocking him out in the first round in what wasn't even much of a fight.
The most exciting part took place afterwards when Joe Rogan noticed (because Bones hadn't) that Bones had broken his toe during the fight.
He had to do the postfight interview while sitting on a stool.
Luckily he got the first round KO and didn't have to either continue with a broken toe, or lose the fight because of it. A fourth medical stoppage would have ruined the night completely. But because Bones knocked out that loudmouth Chael Sonnen I got what I came to see, so the night was a success.
That I understand, sort of. Gwyneth is attractive, though not even close to the Most Beautiful in the world. But People is a women's magazine, and women like stars who are pretty in a non-threatening way. Even though most women thought the selection of Gwyneth was a fraud based on her publicist taking the editors of People Magazine out to a fancy dinner or something.
If that's the case, Miley Cyrus's publicists must have sent a team of smoking hot asian hookers to the Maxim offices. How did someone who is not even remotely attractive make the top 100 list, ahead of Kate Upton, Olivia Munn, Olivia Wilde, Nina Agdal, Sofia Vergara, Stacy Kiebler, Brooklyn Decker and Emilia Clarke aka Mother of Dragons?
I can only guess they were trying to appeal to horny 15 year olds as the rest of the top 10 included 3 more girls (Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale and Selena Gomez) who got their starts on the Disney Channel.
You may say I chose ugly pictures on purpose, but that one is the one Maxim is using. What a joke. I canceled my Maxim subscription after their cover girls were Laura Prepon and Avril Lavigne. Those two look like hotties compared to this diseased skank.
