Saturday, December 14, 2013

Remember This Name

One year ago today a lunatic went into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut shot 26 people, 20 of them small children, before killing himself.
I'm sure all or most of you remember his name.

But I remember a different name. I remember Chase Kowalski. He shares the same name as my son. And every day I thank God, the Universe, Jesus, Mohammed and several idols, that it wasn't my Chase's school, his kindergarten class that became the site of one of the worst mass murders in U.S. history. And every time I call him by his name, I think about the poor Kowalskis who don't have their Chase anymore. When someone sings "all the other boys, try to chaaaaaase me" they don't laugh, they cry. So I will always remember Chase Kowalski.



Or maybe you have a daughter named Olivia. Like Olivia Engel. And maybe your Olivia, or whatever child you have, had a favorite toy, a stuffed animal he or she will never let go, like Olivia's stuffed lamb. So when your child squeezes that stuffed bear or lamb or dolphin tightly, squeeze your child tightly, because Olivia's parents can't. And remember Olivia Engel.



Or maybe you are a Giants fan like Jack Pinto. And maybe you love Victor Cruz like Jack did. And every time Cruz scores a touchdown, you get up and salsa dance. Jack Pinto can't do that. He was buried in a Victor Cruz jersey. I'll remember Jack Pinto's name.



Or maybe you have a child with sparkling blue eyes like Noah Pozner's. I know I do. Maybe the child you love is Jewish, like Noah. And you know the excitement of a child on Hanukkah, each night unwrapping a new gift. Except Noah didn't get to open all his presents. He was killed on the 6th day of Hanukkah. He didn't get to light all the candles. And his parents will never look into his blue eyes again. So when I look at Julian, and I give my own kids Hanukkah presents, I will remember Noah Pozner.



Maybe you are a teacher, or you know a teacher, a teacher like Victoria Soto. She literally threw herself in front of her students to save them. It didn't work, but several others who remained hidden in a closet are alive today because of Victoria Soto. And whatever those kids do in their lives, they will remember Victoria Soto. And so will I.



That's only 5. There are 21 other names we all need to learn and remember before we give another thought to the sick bastard who did this.

Weekly Picks

Two best bets in a row, it's a Christmas miracle.

arizona -2 1/2 TENNESSEE
I can't help it, I love the Cardinals.

seattle -6 1/2 NEW YORK GIANTS
Although I have major doubts about Seattle on the road, I am confident that they will bounce back strong after losing a tough one last week.

INDIANAPOLIS -5 1/2 houston
The Texans might be the second worst team in the league, but the Colts can't get their shit together.

baltimore +5 1/2 DETROIT
I don't trust the Lions and I think the Ravens are going to go down fighting. They are in playoff position right now, but have 3 very tough games left. If they can beat the Lions though they still have a good chance to make the playoffs.

BEST BEST
CAROLINA -11 new york jets

Carolina coming off a bad loss. The Jets coming off a win, this one could get ugly.

Last Week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 33-37 (29 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-9)
Home Favorites: 2-1 (16-16)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (8-9)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (8-11)

Friday, December 13, 2013

3000 Words

Maria Kang, MILF, pissed off a lot of mommies with her in-your-face boobies, abs and slogan.



Digger Phelps plays Mother Ginger in "The Nutcracker." This is the 6th year he's done this.



Is Matt Harvey picking Anne V's nose?

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Song of the Week

"The One" - Tamar Braxton
There's three things I'm a sucker for in music: a male/female duet, a clear story in the lyrics, and excellent use of a sample.
There's no man here, the lyrics are scattered but it's one of the best samples ever.
"It was all a dream!"

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The NFL is Poop - Week 14

Let It Snow
A beautiful to cuddle up someplace warm and watch NFL football on a high-definition screen. Snow falling all over the east coast as game in Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Washington and especially Philadelphia provided a beautiful winter tableau. But far from what you would expect, we had a scoring outburst, that helped set an NFL single-day record for touchdowns with 88. Those 4 games featured 30 touchdowns, and the overall point totals were 54, 55, 55 and 62.







Prater the Greater
An even longer standing and more impressive record was broken when Denver's Matt Prater kicked a 63-yard field goal. The record famously was set by Tom Dempsey in 1970, famous because he had no toes and was kicking with a stump. The record also belonged to Jason Elam of the Denver Broncos, not a coincidence that those two kickers were able to kick such long field goals in the thin air of Denver. But this is not track and field and wind-aided kicks count just the same as any other kick. So Matt Prater is your new all-time longest field goal record holder.



Game of the Week
Baltimore Ravens 29 Minnesota Vikings 26

This game was 12-7 right before the 2-minute warning. Then:
Baltimore scored on 4th and goal. Toby Gerhart ran for a 61-yard touchdown. Jacoby Jones returned the kickoff four a touchdown. Cordarrelle Patteron scores on a 79-yard screen pass. Joe Flacco hits Marlon Brown for a touchdown. Five touchdowns, 4 extra points, 1 2-point conversion, 36 points in 2 minutes and 1 second. In the snow! One of the craziest most exciting finishes there could ever be.

A Few Inches From Surpassing the Ravens-Vikings Game
The Steelers trailed the Dolphins by 6 points, and had one play and 74 yards to go. They were able to run it out to the right and reverse field to the left (though Roethlisberger's lateral may have been forward and get Antonio Brown streaking down the sideline, and he just barely stepped out of bounds at the 12.



The sad thing is, if he could have controlled his momentum, he probably had enough room to stay in bounds and still get around the tackler.
And where was Mike Tomlin to push him back in bounds?

Poor Gronk
Rob Gronkowski suffering another unfortunate injury, costing him the rest of the season, after a broken arm cost him the beginning of it. Who knows when Gronk will be able to play again after tearing the ACL and MCL in his knee. Now we have a bunch of defensive players saying they will have to go for players' knees because there are so many flags being thrown for hitting players in the head and shoulders area.
Good!
I'd rather have a guy get a knee injury than a head injury. Not being callous, just accepting that football is a violent sport. When someone gets a knee injury, they recover, and if it leads to long-term problems maybe worst case is being confined to a wheelchair. If you sustain a head injury the potential damage is much much worse. So if we have to choose a body part to injure, I'll take knee over head any day for the long term. Though short-sighted people would say you can come back a week later from a concussion but an ACL takes a year.



Overshadowed
Gronk's injury cast a pall on what otherwise would have been a monumental comeback victory for the Patriots. Tom Brady led a long drive ending in a touchdown, then the Patriots got the onside kick and scored quickly thanks to a dubious pass interference call, giving them 13 points in a minute to beat the Browns by 1.

Game of Next Week
Baltimore Ravens at Detroit Lions

One of very few games this week between two teams in playoff contention. But both teams really could use a win to hold off some teams coming up behind them.

Picture of the Week
San Diego Chargers fans still haven't gotten over being spurned by Eli Manning.



If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
Denver Broncos 31 Seattle Seahawks 17

I can't put New England here without Gronk. I can't put the Saints here after they got destroyed by Seattle. The Seahawks will probably get the chance to defend home field in the NFC playoffs. But on a neutral site, Peyton Manning vs. Russell Wilson.

Monday, December 09, 2013

Billy's Second Favorite Team

During the amazing run of Florida Gulf Coast to the Sweet 16, the only person more caught up in the excitement than I, was Billy.

He loved the style of play, Dunk City



He loved Coach Andy Enfield's free-throw percentage in college (92.5)



And he loved the coach's hot wife, Amanda Marcum Enfield



Now that the Enfields have moved to USC, they are doing even more things to make Billy love them. Like visiting fraternity and sorority houses to drum up support for the team.



Note: Mrs. Enfield (seated on her husband's right, is still hotter than 90% of these chicks, despite being twice their age)

But that all pails in comparison to who Coach Enfield put on his staff. Former Syracuse point guard Jason Hart



and former Syracuse shooting guard, Tony Bland.



Hart and Bland are both L.A. natives and their goal is to get the best players from the area to choose USC over UCLA.

Two For the Price of One

Recently two megahotties have had very fortunate "wardrobe malfunctions" where ill-advised clothing choices led to nipple sightings.
First, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Nina Agdal



The NSFW version of the Nina Agdal Nip Slip

And now Rosie Huntingon-Whiteley who models for Victoria's Secret and is dating actor Jason Statham.



The NSFW version of the Rosie Huntingon-Whiteley Nip Slip