America Gets the Runs on Dunkin

Dunkin' Donuts has temporarily stopped selling hot chocolate and Dunkaccino brand beverages after learning equipment used at a supplier's facility might have been contaminated with salmonella.
Dunkin says none of its products was contaminated and the withdrawal of the beverages from its stores was a precaution to ensure customer safety.
Its supplier Plainview Milk Products Cooperative announced it had voluntarily recalled its instant nonfat dried milk and whey protein because of potential salmonella bacteria contamination. It says there were no reported illnesses.
Dunkin' Donuts says it expects to resume hot chocolate and Dunkaccino sales shortly.


Truth is, I'm only posting this story because I came up with a creative headline. And it fits, because according to the Mayo Clinic salmonella can result in "severe diarrhea."
But even if it weren't a symptom I probably would have posted this anyway.

Nice Day for a Swine Wedding

The bride wore white -- and a face mask.

Ilana Jackson and Jeremy Fierstien of Chicago wore surgical masks and latex gloves to their wedding after finding out less than 48 hours before that they had swine flu.

The couple decided to go ahead with the ceremony after doctors assured them guests wouldn't be put at serious risk.

To be sure, they also stayed 10 feet away from guests at all times, even walking around the gathering instead of down the aisle at a Highland Park synagogue.
Jackson says they'd joked about swine flu after both experienced vomiting, achy limbs and fever. But they never thought they really had it.

She says the circumstances were unfortunate but they have a good attitude about it.

Bye Grandma

My grandmother Ethel passed away this week at the age of 88. Five years ago she got sick and we rushed Canada to perhaps say our good-byes. But Grandma survived that incident and lived five more years in which time she welcomed four great-grandchildren into the world.
Despite the loss of her leg Grandma walked down the aisle last year at my cousin's wedding.
Goodbye Grandma, we'll miss your "HEH-lows" and your chicken soup.

Like a Good Neighbor

Through a strange confluence of events I was able to help a neighbor in distress, here is that story.

The other day the sun actually came up for a few minutes so despite having been up all night at work Mrs. Poop agreed to stay up for an extra half an hour so I could mow the lawn which had reached jungle-like proportions because all the rain promoted growth and made it impossible for me to find time to mow it.

While I was out there mowing I saw our friendly neighbor (50ish single woman) walking her dog. She looked at me and said "Paul, I have a problem."

About ten feet behind her was a man yelling at her. When I stepped between them the guy (reeking of alcohol) explained his side of the story. He lives up the block and says when his dog (a schnauzer) saw her dog, his dog took off, broke the leash and took off for her dog. Her fearful reaction was to cross the street. The man was angry because he says his dog could have been hit by a car.

When I asked why he was following her he said "I want to find out where she lives."

I finally got him to go away and my neighbor explained that the guy had been yelling at her, calling her all sorts of names and threatening her and saying he was going to shoot her dog.

I thought I had calmed the situation but about 15 minutes later the drunk guy came back asking me my name and waving to Chase in the window (damn kid loves to watch "mowing.") That freaked us out a little.

But our neighbor later told me she called the cops who went to the guy's apartment, and scared him a little and didn't think he would bother us any further.

He hasn't so I am glad I was able to help my neighbor in a potentially dangerous situation.