Mama Poop was here babysitting Chase and she wanted a cup of tea but we keep the mugs on a very high shelf. Mrs. Poop asked me to get a mug down and I reached it with no problem.
To recap, Mrs. Poop loves me because I'm good at getting things off high shelves.
I'm sure you knew there had to be some reason.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
You'd Better Play Fantasy Baseball
Early in 2005 Nails was creating a new fantasy baseball league and asked me to be in it.
Years earlier I had sworn off fantasy sports for several reasons including the fact that I didn't want to devote the time necessary to fielding a winning team, and I didn't want to compete in anything in which I wouldn't do well.
Also, unlike most fantasy owners, I'm still an avid fan of the game who pores over each morning's box scores. Being a fantasy owner adds nothing to my enjoyment of the season.
But due to Nails's nagging I relented and joined the league. During a season in which my team did horribly (although an incredible late charge almost got me into the playoffs), I remembered why I disliked fantasy sports.
I didn't find myself following baseball more closely, but when I looked at those same box scores I used to enjoy each morning, I became angry when my pitchers got bombed or my hitters went 0 for 4.
And I often found myself in that awkward position of rooting for players who were playing the Mets and against Mets who were on my opponents' teams (I drafted Beltran with the 3rd overall pick to have a good Met on my team, but he hit 16 HR that year).
After that miserable year I decided not to participate again the next year and though they were disappointed, Nails, Focks and Freedo never let it affect our friendship.
That's more than I can say for some other people.
Back in Syracuse I used to participate in fantasy baseball, football and even basketball (before Pizza Parlor Derek ruined the league by dumping his two best players for a box of donuts) but after graduation and several annoying e-mails with insulting trade offers I decided to stop playing.
While this decision seemed ok with most of the league's owners, in subsequent years I've been ostracized on at least two occassions and the only reason I can think of for this is because I'm not in the fantasy owners' circle.
One of my "friends" got married, and despite the fact that I invited him to my wedding (he declined), and despite the fact that every single other friend of mine was invited to his wedding, I was not.
Another "friend" is known for sending extravagant baby gifts, which he has sent to three other friends who have children. He gave Chase nothing.
Now I know I can be a dick but I don't recall ever having done anything so horrible to either of these people to warrant being insulted in this fashion.
Which brings me to my current quandary. I've recently been asked by SCZA and Jems to join their fantasy baseball league. I really don't want to for all the reasons stated earlier in this post, but if I don't will I no longer receive generous invitiations to attend Mets game with SCZA? Will I no longer receive encouraging poker e-mails and the occassional influx of cash from Jems? I sure hope not.
Years earlier I had sworn off fantasy sports for several reasons including the fact that I didn't want to devote the time necessary to fielding a winning team, and I didn't want to compete in anything in which I wouldn't do well.
Also, unlike most fantasy owners, I'm still an avid fan of the game who pores over each morning's box scores. Being a fantasy owner adds nothing to my enjoyment of the season.
But due to Nails's nagging I relented and joined the league. During a season in which my team did horribly (although an incredible late charge almost got me into the playoffs), I remembered why I disliked fantasy sports.
I didn't find myself following baseball more closely, but when I looked at those same box scores I used to enjoy each morning, I became angry when my pitchers got bombed or my hitters went 0 for 4.
And I often found myself in that awkward position of rooting for players who were playing the Mets and against Mets who were on my opponents' teams (I drafted Beltran with the 3rd overall pick to have a good Met on my team, but he hit 16 HR that year).
After that miserable year I decided not to participate again the next year and though they were disappointed, Nails, Focks and Freedo never let it affect our friendship.
That's more than I can say for some other people.
Back in Syracuse I used to participate in fantasy baseball, football and even basketball (before Pizza Parlor Derek ruined the league by dumping his two best players for a box of donuts) but after graduation and several annoying e-mails with insulting trade offers I decided to stop playing.
While this decision seemed ok with most of the league's owners, in subsequent years I've been ostracized on at least two occassions and the only reason I can think of for this is because I'm not in the fantasy owners' circle.
One of my "friends" got married, and despite the fact that I invited him to my wedding (he declined), and despite the fact that every single other friend of mine was invited to his wedding, I was not.
Another "friend" is known for sending extravagant baby gifts, which he has sent to three other friends who have children. He gave Chase nothing.
Now I know I can be a dick but I don't recall ever having done anything so horrible to either of these people to warrant being insulted in this fashion.
Which brings me to my current quandary. I've recently been asked by SCZA and Jems to join their fantasy baseball league. I really don't want to for all the reasons stated earlier in this post, but if I don't will I no longer receive generous invitiations to attend Mets game with SCZA? Will I no longer receive encouraging poker e-mails and the occassional influx of cash from Jems? I sure hope not.
Swayze Covers All the Bases
In reviewing the trandscendant career of Patrick Swayze it was brought up that his appeal extends across gender lines. He starred in one of the best "guy" movies of all-time, "Road House" and one of the worst, "Point Break." He also starred in one of the best chick flicks, "Ghost," and one of the worst, "Dirty Dancing."
Prince Fielder's Inspiration
It was curious to me that several articles which mentioned a book that inspired Prince Fielder to become a vegetarian all omitted the book's title. That's because the book is called "Skinny Bitch."
This Post May Cause Seizures
MTV pulled the video for Gnarls Barkley's new song "Run" because its strobe effects, caused the clip to fail the Harding Test -- guidelines established to prevent TV images from triggering epileptic seizures.
"I don't know exactly what's going on, but we're having issues. I think (the video) is cool. It works for me. But I'm not necessarily that easily seasick," Danger Mouse said. "We can't predict how people are going to interpret it."
The group's new album, "The Odd Couple," will be released on April 8. They are about to shoot a video for the second single, "Who's Gonna Save My Soul." Presumably they'll leave the strobe effects out of that one.
"I don't know exactly what's going on, but we're having issues. I think (the video) is cool. It works for me. But I'm not necessarily that easily seasick," Danger Mouse said. "We can't predict how people are going to interpret it."
The group's new album, "The Odd Couple," will be released on April 8. They are about to shoot a video for the second single, "Who's Gonna Save My Soul." Presumably they'll leave the strobe effects out of that one.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Idol Chatter
I didn't have time to post about this week's shows before the results show because we hadn't watched the performances. But I didn't want to let a week like this go by without saying something.
First of all, I once again predicted 3 of 4 who would go home. Luke and Kady were layups and although she was good I predicted Asia'h would go. I thought Chicezie was going home because I thought the gay voters would come out in force for Danny Noriega after his incredibly sassy performance of "Tainted Love." Maybe this video turned them off. Watch it, trust me.
Instead the gay vote went for David Hernandez who used to be a dancer at Dick's Cabaret in Phoenix, where he performed full-nude lap dances for the club's mostly gay clientele.
Mrs. Poop loved Michael Johns, but she will love anyone who does a song from "The Breakfast Club."
And I loved David Cook's rendition of "Hello," but I will love anyone who does a song from Lionel Richie.
We both agree with Simon that David Archuleta, while good, is getting a little boring and his feigning surprise every time someone says something nice about him is getting a little tiresome. He is already starting to face a little backlash, including this negative article which says he stole his "original" arrangement of "Imagine" and that he didn't sing the first verse because it says "no religion too" and he is a devout Mormon.
As for the girls, I think they need to ban Whitney Houston songs. Every black tries one at least once at they can't do them as well as Whitney so they sound bad in comparison. I thought Brooke White's rendition of "Love is a Battlefield" was awful. It captured none of the passion and spirit of the original.
First of all, I once again predicted 3 of 4 who would go home. Luke and Kady were layups and although she was good I predicted Asia'h would go. I thought Chicezie was going home because I thought the gay voters would come out in force for Danny Noriega after his incredibly sassy performance of "Tainted Love." Maybe this video turned them off. Watch it, trust me.
Instead the gay vote went for David Hernandez who used to be a dancer at Dick's Cabaret in Phoenix, where he performed full-nude lap dances for the club's mostly gay clientele.
Mrs. Poop loved Michael Johns, but she will love anyone who does a song from "The Breakfast Club."
And I loved David Cook's rendition of "Hello," but I will love anyone who does a song from Lionel Richie.
We both agree with Simon that David Archuleta, while good, is getting a little boring and his feigning surprise every time someone says something nice about him is getting a little tiresome. He is already starting to face a little backlash, including this negative article which says he stole his "original" arrangement of "Imagine" and that he didn't sing the first verse because it says "no religion too" and he is a devout Mormon.
As for the girls, I think they need to ban Whitney Houston songs. Every black tries one at least once at they can't do them as well as Whitney so they sound bad in comparison. I thought Brooke White's rendition of "Love is a Battlefield" was awful. It captured none of the passion and spirit of the original.
Swayze's Ghost
Famed Actor Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer.
Luckily for him, pain don't hurt.
Reports that he only has a few weeks to live are not true and hopefully he'll be with us a lot longer.
His doctor says he has a limited amount of the disease and is responding well to treatment.
Luckily for him, pain don't hurt.
Reports that he only has a few weeks to live are not true and hopefully he'll be with us a lot longer.
His doctor says he has a limited amount of the disease and is responding well to treatment.
Staying Alive
Syracuse beat Seton Hall 85-73 to keep their slim NCAA tournament hopes alive. The game was a microcosm of everything that is good and bad about this Syracuse team.
The good: they have four really good players. Arinze Onuaku was unstoppable in the low post. Jonny Flynn brilliantly ran the offense, dishing and driving and even shooting. Donte Greene had a bad shooting night, but he still scored 19 points and grabbed 13 rebounds showing flashes of the inside-outside game that makes him such a tantalizing NBA prospect. And Paul Harris continued to contribute those little things, including two key baskets late in the game that ended a 10-2 run by Seton Hall.
And my favorite player on this team, Kristof Ongenaet, scored the first 6 points of the game for the Orange, then stepped aside to make room for everyone else. Still, his 10 points and 11 rebounds made for the first double-double of his career.
It's this kind of balanced play that has people thinking that if only SU could make it in to this year's field, maybe they could pull off an upset or two, something SU has never done under Jim Boeheim. Since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985, Syracuse has never won a game against a team seed more than 2 spots higher. In 1996 they beat #2 Kansas as a #4, and in 2003, they beat #1 Oklahoma and #1 Texas, but never pulled off a major upset.
But they were the victim several times:
1986: #7 Navy over #2 Syracuse
1988: #11 Rhode Island over #3 Syracuse
1990: #6 Minnesota over #2 Syracuse
1991: #15 Richmond over #2 Syracuse
2004: #8 Alabama over #5 Syracuse
2005: #13 Vermont over #4 Syracuse
2006: #12 Texas ATM over #5 Syracuse
Now I grant you that SU was so good in the 80s and 90s that they had very few chances to pull off upsets, and many chances to get upset, but still that's 7 major upsets in 20 years, 3 in their last 3 tournament appearances.
Three final games and one championship over the same span should not be overlooked, however.
Getting back to this year's team, once again the horrible turnovers, especially late in games makes me doubt that this team could take care of the ball well enough to win a close game in the Big East or NCAA Tournament.
One thing that annoyed me about last night's game, the announcers kept referring to last year, saying Syracuse was better last year and didn't make it in, parroting Boeheim's whiny point that SU probably wouldn't make it in this year either.
But if you're a college basketball announcer shouldn't you be able to think critically enough to reject Boeheim's whiny bullshit?
The fact is last year Syracuse didn't get in because the strength of schedule was poor. This year Boeheim nutted up and scheduled some tough games out of conference. Even though SU lost almost all of them (Ohio State, Rhode Island, UMass) a SOS rating of 8, is very impressive to the selection committee.
The committee gives credit to teams that play a tough schedule because having a lot of tough games among members of the top conferences is the only way to fairly evaluate them. Also, they want to encourage teams to schedule good teams to make the sport more interesting.
Pizza Parlor Derek pointed out that Syracuse could be this year's Stanford which got in with a very high RPI of 65 and an 18-12 record because they played a lot of tough games. However, in their case they had several big wins including wins over UCLA and Washington State.
This is a reasonable argument but I think PPD failed to delve in deeply enough. This year's Stanford will likely be Arizona which despite a 16-12 record has the toughest schedule in the country and an RPI of 24. Also Kentucky is a contender to get in on these credentials, considering three of their non-conference losses were to North Carolina, Indiana and Louisville, much tougher than the SU slate. The only reason SU's SOS is rated tougher is because UK beat 5 teams with RPIs higher than 250, compared to zero by SU. But a top team is much more likely to lose when playing a top 15 team compared to a 26-50. Whereas both these teams should beat every opponent with an RPI over 100. UK also has 4 top 50 wins, compared to 1 for SU.
One other thing that SU has going against it, is the inevitable small-conference team that loses in the conference tournament but makes it as an at-large getting an underserving team from its conference in. Drake, Butler, South Alabama, Kent St. and Davidson are all teams from one-bid conferences that might get in as an at-large should they lose. Also Conference USA (Memphis and UAB), West Coast (St. Mary's and Gonzaga) and Atlantic 10 (Xavier and maybe St. Joe's, maybe Dayton) are two bid conferences that could get 3 teams possibly.
One thing SU has going for it, a relatively weak bubble field this year.
SU must beat Marquette and win at least 1 game in the Big East to have any chance to get in, 2 Big East wins and I think they're in.
The good: they have four really good players. Arinze Onuaku was unstoppable in the low post. Jonny Flynn brilliantly ran the offense, dishing and driving and even shooting. Donte Greene had a bad shooting night, but he still scored 19 points and grabbed 13 rebounds showing flashes of the inside-outside game that makes him such a tantalizing NBA prospect. And Paul Harris continued to contribute those little things, including two key baskets late in the game that ended a 10-2 run by Seton Hall.
And my favorite player on this team, Kristof Ongenaet, scored the first 6 points of the game for the Orange, then stepped aside to make room for everyone else. Still, his 10 points and 11 rebounds made for the first double-double of his career.
It's this kind of balanced play that has people thinking that if only SU could make it in to this year's field, maybe they could pull off an upset or two, something SU has never done under Jim Boeheim. Since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985, Syracuse has never won a game against a team seed more than 2 spots higher. In 1996 they beat #2 Kansas as a #4, and in 2003, they beat #1 Oklahoma and #1 Texas, but never pulled off a major upset.
But they were the victim several times:
1986: #7 Navy over #2 Syracuse
1988: #11 Rhode Island over #3 Syracuse
1990: #6 Minnesota over #2 Syracuse
1991: #15 Richmond over #2 Syracuse
2004: #8 Alabama over #5 Syracuse
2005: #13 Vermont over #4 Syracuse
2006: #12 Texas ATM over #5 Syracuse
Now I grant you that SU was so good in the 80s and 90s that they had very few chances to pull off upsets, and many chances to get upset, but still that's 7 major upsets in 20 years, 3 in their last 3 tournament appearances.
Three final games and one championship over the same span should not be overlooked, however.
Getting back to this year's team, once again the horrible turnovers, especially late in games makes me doubt that this team could take care of the ball well enough to win a close game in the Big East or NCAA Tournament.
One thing that annoyed me about last night's game, the announcers kept referring to last year, saying Syracuse was better last year and didn't make it in, parroting Boeheim's whiny point that SU probably wouldn't make it in this year either.
But if you're a college basketball announcer shouldn't you be able to think critically enough to reject Boeheim's whiny bullshit?
The fact is last year Syracuse didn't get in because the strength of schedule was poor. This year Boeheim nutted up and scheduled some tough games out of conference. Even though SU lost almost all of them (Ohio State, Rhode Island, UMass) a SOS rating of 8, is very impressive to the selection committee.
The committee gives credit to teams that play a tough schedule because having a lot of tough games among members of the top conferences is the only way to fairly evaluate them. Also, they want to encourage teams to schedule good teams to make the sport more interesting.
Pizza Parlor Derek pointed out that Syracuse could be this year's Stanford which got in with a very high RPI of 65 and an 18-12 record because they played a lot of tough games. However, in their case they had several big wins including wins over UCLA and Washington State.
This is a reasonable argument but I think PPD failed to delve in deeply enough. This year's Stanford will likely be Arizona which despite a 16-12 record has the toughest schedule in the country and an RPI of 24. Also Kentucky is a contender to get in on these credentials, considering three of their non-conference losses were to North Carolina, Indiana and Louisville, much tougher than the SU slate. The only reason SU's SOS is rated tougher is because UK beat 5 teams with RPIs higher than 250, compared to zero by SU. But a top team is much more likely to lose when playing a top 15 team compared to a 26-50. Whereas both these teams should beat every opponent with an RPI over 100. UK also has 4 top 50 wins, compared to 1 for SU.
One other thing that SU has going against it, is the inevitable small-conference team that loses in the conference tournament but makes it as an at-large getting an underserving team from its conference in. Drake, Butler, South Alabama, Kent St. and Davidson are all teams from one-bid conferences that might get in as an at-large should they lose. Also Conference USA (Memphis and UAB), West Coast (St. Mary's and Gonzaga) and Atlantic 10 (Xavier and maybe St. Joe's, maybe Dayton) are two bid conferences that could get 3 teams possibly.
One thing SU has going for it, a relatively weak bubble field this year.
SU must beat Marquette and win at least 1 game in the Big East to have any chance to get in, 2 Big East wins and I think they're in.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Incompetence
Mrs. Poop went to Shop-Rite yesterday afternoon to pick up some items for dinner (tilapia with panko, delicious) and in the bakery aisle she got sucked in by St. Patrick's Day themed Popems.
Mrs. Poop loves St. Patrick's Day but not because she's Irish, she loves it because St. Patrick hated snakes, and Mrs. Poop hates snakes. I mean really hates snakes. When I put my rubber snake in her bag as a practical joke and she pulled it out when looking for her stethoscope, she screamed in horror and threw my rubber snake in the trash. I don't think this was right on her part because the rubber snake was my property, and even though I did use it to play a joke on her, I didn't give it to her, and I never foresaw that she would discard my prized possession. But that's not the point.
The point is, to thank St. Patrick for ridding Ireland of snakes, she decided to buy a box of Popems for $4.19.
Unfortunately, when she got to check-out, she picked the line with the incompetent cashier.
Grocery store checkout clerks are not known for their skill and dexterity but this one was a clerk in training and she completely fucked up Mrs. Poop's order.
She rang up the one box of Popems, one, two, three, four, FIVE times.
How can you not see on the little screen that the same item keeps ringing up?
Anyway, she needed help removing the extra items from the bill, yet somehow they deleted it all five times meaning we got the Popems for free.
Normally I think your karma would be negatively affected if you take something for free that you should have rightfully paid for.
But in this case Mrs. Poop really didn't know what exactly they were doing and she was trying to load her groceries into her cart and get the hell out of there.
Plus I think she deserves positive karma points for not jumping over the conveyor belt and knifing the bitch.
A portion of the offending grocery store receipt is below. I have no idea why there is a giant white space in the middle but you can see clearly that she was charged for five boxes of Popems and then credited back for all five boxes.
Looking at this receipt again it appears we were also charged for only one hard roll, but Mrs. Poop actually bought two.
Mrs. Poop loves St. Patrick's Day but not because she's Irish, she loves it because St. Patrick hated snakes, and Mrs. Poop hates snakes. I mean really hates snakes. When I put my rubber snake in her bag as a practical joke and she pulled it out when looking for her stethoscope, she screamed in horror and threw my rubber snake in the trash. I don't think this was right on her part because the rubber snake was my property, and even though I did use it to play a joke on her, I didn't give it to her, and I never foresaw that she would discard my prized possession. But that's not the point.
The point is, to thank St. Patrick for ridding Ireland of snakes, she decided to buy a box of Popems for $4.19.
Unfortunately, when she got to check-out, she picked the line with the incompetent cashier.
Grocery store checkout clerks are not known for their skill and dexterity but this one was a clerk in training and she completely fucked up Mrs. Poop's order.
She rang up the one box of Popems, one, two, three, four, FIVE times.
How can you not see on the little screen that the same item keeps ringing up?
Anyway, she needed help removing the extra items from the bill, yet somehow they deleted it all five times meaning we got the Popems for free.
Normally I think your karma would be negatively affected if you take something for free that you should have rightfully paid for.
But in this case Mrs. Poop really didn't know what exactly they were doing and she was trying to load her groceries into her cart and get the hell out of there.
Plus I think she deserves positive karma points for not jumping over the conveyor belt and knifing the bitch.
A portion of the offending grocery store receipt is below. I have no idea why there is a giant white space in the middle but you can see clearly that she was charged for five boxes of Popems and then credited back for all five boxes.
Looking at this receipt again it appears we were also charged for only one hard roll, but Mrs. Poop actually bought two.
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste
One of the many outrageous things I believe in (Rey Ordonez is the best shortstop in the history of baseball, "Blue Chips" deserved the Best Picture Oscar in 1994, there is a strange mysterious force in the universe that brings balance to all things) was recently proven in a medical study.
I have always said that if we are able to harness the powers of our minds we wouldn't be bothered by things like being too hot or too cold, or minor aches and pains.
For example, if I ever see a video of a guy getting hit in the nuts, I can actually feel physical pain in my stones. So if my mind can make me feel pain when my nerve endings are not sending pain impulses, the reverse should also be true.
Which brings me to a recent study done by Dan Ariely, a behavioral economist at Duke University in North Carolina, in conjunction with colleagues at MIT.
They tested 82 volunteers and gave them all a light electric shock.
They were then given what they were told was a painkiller, but was actually a placebo.
Half were given a brochure describing the pill as a newly approved painkiller that cost $2.50 per dose and half were given a brochure describing it as marked down to 10 cents.
Eighty-five percent of volunteers who thought they were getting a $2.50 pill said they felt less pain after taking it, compared with 61 percent of those who thought they were getting a discounted drug.
The results fit with other studies that show charging more for something makes people value it more. But Ariely said the combination with the placebo effect was especially interesting.
"The placebo effect is one of the most fascinating, least harnessed forces in the universe," Ariely said in a statement.
That last quote is one of the coolest things anyone has ever said.
I have always said that if we are able to harness the powers of our minds we wouldn't be bothered by things like being too hot or too cold, or minor aches and pains.
For example, if I ever see a video of a guy getting hit in the nuts, I can actually feel physical pain in my stones. So if my mind can make me feel pain when my nerve endings are not sending pain impulses, the reverse should also be true.
Which brings me to a recent study done by Dan Ariely, a behavioral economist at Duke University in North Carolina, in conjunction with colleagues at MIT.
They tested 82 volunteers and gave them all a light electric shock.
They were then given what they were told was a painkiller, but was actually a placebo.
Half were given a brochure describing the pill as a newly approved painkiller that cost $2.50 per dose and half were given a brochure describing it as marked down to 10 cents.
Eighty-five percent of volunteers who thought they were getting a $2.50 pill said they felt less pain after taking it, compared with 61 percent of those who thought they were getting a discounted drug.
The results fit with other studies that show charging more for something makes people value it more. But Ariely said the combination with the placebo effect was especially interesting.
"The placebo effect is one of the most fascinating, least harnessed forces in the universe," Ariely said in a statement.
That last quote is one of the coolest things anyone has ever said.
More Pompous Middle Name?
Who's got the more pompous sounding middle name?
Chase Brennan or Jack Bradford?
Chase Brennan or Jack Bradford?
Baseball is Poop
Baseball is Poop is Back
Of all the columns I write on an even semi-regular basis this one is my favorite because I love baseball and over the course of the season many interesting quirky things happen that need to be shared. I also enjoy doing my statistical analysis which for years I did with no purpose, now I can pore over stats and have a reason to do so. So begins another season of Baseball is Poop:
He's a Vegetarian
In the latest effort to spite his father Cecil Fielder (a man who looks as if he eats steak and eggs for breakfast and washes it down with a glass of steak juice), Prince Fielder has given up meat for good.
After reading a book on the poor treatment of animals, Prince has gone the Damino-route and given up animal flesh. He tried being a vegan but couldn't hack it.
It will be interesting to see if a 6 foot 260 pounder can keep his home run strength through an entire season without a juicy burger every once in a while.
Fielder will be making only $670,000 this season despite hitting 50 homers last year. Fielder is pissed off that the Brewers didn't take care of him (they didn't have to, but should have given him $1.5 mil to appease him) and is looking forward to a huge arbitration award for next year.
Oh Those Bases on Balls
Giants starting pitcher Noah Lowry is showing symptoms of Steve Blass disease, which also afflicted Rick Ankiel.
In his second appearance of the spring Lowry walked 7 batters in the first inning and two more in the second before being taken out. He allowed 4 runs, without a hit. He threw 24 pitches before a Rangers batter swung at a pitch.
In 2007, Lowry went 14-8 with a 3.92 ERA and 87 walks in 156 innings.
Put a Helmet on
Dodgers third base coach Larry Bowa does not like the new rule requiring base coaches to wear helmets. He says he's willing to pay a fine rather than wear it. "I'm willing to write out a check for whatever the fine is for every game. Whatever 162 games is, I'll write out a check for it."
Tony Kornheiser suggests the fine should be $1,000 for the first game, $10,000 for the second game and $1 million per game for each game after that.
I have a different suggestion. I think the first time Bowa should be forced to read this article from Sports Illustrated the family of Mike Coolbaugh, who killed when he got struck in the head by a line drive while coaching first base. And he should be forced to look at the heartbreaking pictures of Coolbaugh's two young sons.
If he still wants to forsake the helmet after that he should be fined $1,000 per game in a check payable to a trust fund for Coolbaugh's children. If he wants to contribute $162,000 per year ($161,000 the first year) for the college education of those two little boys (I think they have another kid now), then he can buy his right to suffer a potentially deadly head injury.
After MLB threatened to suspend Bowa, he relented and put on the helmet but he still doesn't look comfortable doing so.
Of all the columns I write on an even semi-regular basis this one is my favorite because I love baseball and over the course of the season many interesting quirky things happen that need to be shared. I also enjoy doing my statistical analysis which for years I did with no purpose, now I can pore over stats and have a reason to do so. So begins another season of Baseball is Poop:
He's a Vegetarian
In the latest effort to spite his father Cecil Fielder (a man who looks as if he eats steak and eggs for breakfast and washes it down with a glass of steak juice), Prince Fielder has given up meat for good.
After reading a book on the poor treatment of animals, Prince has gone the Damino-route and given up animal flesh. He tried being a vegan but couldn't hack it.
It will be interesting to see if a 6 foot 260 pounder can keep his home run strength through an entire season without a juicy burger every once in a while.
Fielder will be making only $670,000 this season despite hitting 50 homers last year. Fielder is pissed off that the Brewers didn't take care of him (they didn't have to, but should have given him $1.5 mil to appease him) and is looking forward to a huge arbitration award for next year.
Oh Those Bases on Balls
Giants starting pitcher Noah Lowry is showing symptoms of Steve Blass disease, which also afflicted Rick Ankiel.
In his second appearance of the spring Lowry walked 7 batters in the first inning and two more in the second before being taken out. He allowed 4 runs, without a hit. He threw 24 pitches before a Rangers batter swung at a pitch.
In 2007, Lowry went 14-8 with a 3.92 ERA and 87 walks in 156 innings.
Put a Helmet on
Dodgers third base coach Larry Bowa does not like the new rule requiring base coaches to wear helmets. He says he's willing to pay a fine rather than wear it. "I'm willing to write out a check for whatever the fine is for every game. Whatever 162 games is, I'll write out a check for it."
Tony Kornheiser suggests the fine should be $1,000 for the first game, $10,000 for the second game and $1 million per game for each game after that.
I have a different suggestion. I think the first time Bowa should be forced to read this article from Sports Illustrated the family of Mike Coolbaugh, who killed when he got struck in the head by a line drive while coaching first base. And he should be forced to look at the heartbreaking pictures of Coolbaugh's two young sons.
If he still wants to forsake the helmet after that he should be fined $1,000 per game in a check payable to a trust fund for Coolbaugh's children. If he wants to contribute $162,000 per year ($161,000 the first year) for the college education of those two little boys (I think they have another kid now), then he can buy his right to suffer a potentially deadly head injury.
After MLB threatened to suspend Bowa, he relented and put on the helmet but he still doesn't look comfortable doing so.
Song of the Week
"Ha" - Juvenile
I chose this song for two reasons, first I really like it.
It's creativity and its unique sound (at the time) ushered in a new era, geographical region and record label to rap. Spawned by Juvenile, Lil Wayne, BG and Baby all had successful careers for a while, before they flooded the marketplace with too many Cash Money CDs.
But I also chose this song because earlier this week Juvenile's 4-year old daughter was killed. The killer was the 17-year-old son of the baby's mother. Another of the woman's kids, a girl, was also killed.
It's not clear what relationship he had with the little girl considering he only accepted paternity after a lawsuit and a paternity test, but still this is a tragic circumstance.
I chose this song for two reasons, first I really like it.
It's creativity and its unique sound (at the time) ushered in a new era, geographical region and record label to rap. Spawned by Juvenile, Lil Wayne, BG and Baby all had successful careers for a while, before they flooded the marketplace with too many Cash Money CDs.
But I also chose this song because earlier this week Juvenile's 4-year old daughter was killed. The killer was the 17-year-old son of the baby's mother. Another of the woman's kids, a girl, was also killed.
It's not clear what relationship he had with the little girl considering he only accepted paternity after a lawsuit and a paternity test, but still this is a tragic circumstance.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
What's Up jusTON's Ass?
Normally jusTON is credited with being one of the most easy-going, laid-back, positive Poopheads there is. But if you track his comments recently you will notice they are increasingly negative and at times downright hostile:
On Caulking Gun:
"'Cork Sucking' is still better."
On comparing "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" to porn:
"That movie is regarded as fucking fantastic by everyone who 'gets it'."
On some of the best rounds of boxing in history:
"I'll take MMA any day of the week over boxing."
On a volleyball clip that I posted especially for him:
"I thought that video was kinda gay."
On comparing Rufus to Uno:
"That's like saying 'what's better, $1, or $100?' Rufus is busted."
On Caulking Gun:
"'Cork Sucking' is still better."
On comparing "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" to porn:
"That movie is regarded as fucking fantastic by everyone who 'gets it'."
On some of the best rounds of boxing in history:
"I'll take MMA any day of the week over boxing."
On a volleyball clip that I posted especially for him:
"I thought that video was kinda gay."
On comparing Rufus to Uno:
"That's like saying 'what's better, $1, or $100?' Rufus is busted."
Gotta Support The Team
A Mets fan at Monday's preseason game showed off his special haircut. If the Mets make the World Series all Poopheads who are Mets fans (Master Bates, JLeary, Reissberg, The Concierge, Nails, Focks, Jems, SCZA, Steponme, Chase and Diesel) should get this haircut.
Back By Popular Demand
Due to recent interest generated by "Cut the Cheese" and "Caulking Gun," I found a new version of "Cork Soakers" that works, since the original youtube video I posted was taken down.
Digger Can Dance
ESPN's Digger Phelps put down his matching highlighter for a second and danced with a Kansas cheerleader. I love how the crowd serenades them to keep it going.
The Moustache Probably Tickles
During Saturday's Mets preseason game Jose Valentin was spotted in the dugout making an obscene gesture. He was pantomiming a blow job, which is probably how he manages to stay on the team.
Story suggested by JLeary
Story suggested by JLeary
Monday, March 03, 2008
Let's See Master Bates Do This
Master Bates once won a trip at a BU hockey game but that's nothing compared to the display put on by Darwin Head who won a million dollars by scoring 15 times in 24 seconds, from the opposite blue line.
Here is a much longer version.
Here is a much longer version.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
How I Recovered From the Worst Loss of Jim Boeheim's Career
In order to put Saturday's season-killing loss to Pittsburgh behind me I delved into some classic Syracuse games when SU had such good players that even an idiot like Boeheim couldn't fuck it up. Though he often did.
Syracuse vs Pittsburgh, January 3, 1990
Syracuse started Stevie Thompson, Dave Johnson, Billy Owens, Derrick Coleman and LeRon Ellis.
A mulleted Mike Hopkins came off the bench, committed a stupid foul and quickly got yanked.
Richard Manning also came off the bench and several times Dick Vitale commented about how the coaching staff thought he would be the next great SU player.
Syracuse was #1 in the country at the time, but entering conference play they had faced a weak schedule. Vitale (who did the game with Tim Brando) mentioned C.W. Post several times.
Pitt started Brian Shorter, Darrelle Porter, Jason Matthews and Bobby Martin.
Sean Miller was injured. Vitale talked about how smart he is, foreshadowing Miller's success as a coach at Xavier.
Pitt jumped out to a huge early lead and DC hardly tried and Billy Owens missed everything.
SU did come storming back once DC stepped up his game. He was unstoppable getting the ball everytime on offense and grabbing every rebound on defense.
Dicky V said several times he should be the number 1 overall pick (which he was), ahead of other top seniors, Lionel Simmons and Gerald Glass.
SU clinched the game with a steal by Stevie Thompson who streaked down the floor with his tail trailing behind him (no other hair on his head).
Georgetown - Syracuse, January 28, 1985
Syracuse started Rafael Addison, Dwyane "Pearl" Washington, Andre Hawkins, Rony Seikaly and Michael Brown.
Georgetown started Patrick Ewing, as well as David Wingate, Reggie Williams and a couple of other guys who drew "who cares?" and "so what?" chants from the crowd.
Georgetown was ranked #2 at the time having just lost to St. John's two days earlier.
St. John's became the new #1 by knocking off defending champ Georgetown and ending their 29 game winning streak.
The crowd for this one was absolutely incredible.
Attendance was 32,229 (3rd largest Carrier Dome crowd, 153 short of largest on campus crowd in history at the time) and they were doing the wave (which was still in its infancy).
The Dome Ranger was running around the perimeter of the court the whole game.
The crowd was so into it, it was everything we wished the Dome would be during our years there. It was definitely the loudest I ever heard the Dome. At one point the announcers (Len Berman and Bill Raftery) stopped talking because they wanted the crowd to be heard.
There was no 3-point shot for this game and the 45-second clock wasn't over the basket, it was off in the corner.
After the first SU basket the game had to be stopped because someone threw an orange on the floor.
Raftery said a cold snap hurt the orange crop in Florida, but not up in Syracuse.
Then when Patrick Ewing was shooting a free throw, an orange hit the back of the backboard and splattered.
John Thompson absolutely flipped out, ran onto the court then pulled his team off the floor.
The game had to be delayed so they could clean the backboard and Boeheim made an announcement (though they didn't show it on the broadcast) telling the fans not to throw shit.
Ewing got to reshoot the free throw he missed and he made the retry. Raftery said he was happy because it put the orange grove back in its place.
Berman and Raftery were talking about rivalries and said SU-Georgetown is becoming the best rivalry in the conference.
They said it all started when Georgetown won in the last game at Manley Field House and John Thompson declared it officially closed.
Back to the game.
Ewing was good but not great, he got his shot blocked by Seikaly a couple times and he hadn't yelled developed the offensive moves he had as a Knick. He dominated on defense though and Georgetown's trap worked so well because even if SU broke it they couldn't get an easy basket because Ewing was hanging back.
Raftery and Berman called Ewing "Russell with offense" and "Wilt who can shoot free throws."
They both agreed he was the surefire first pick in the NBA Draft and that whichever teamed drafted him would immediately become a title contender.
For Syracuse, Rafael Addison went off. He was out front of several breaks and also hit a few midrange jumpers, scoring 26 in the game.
Syracuse stole the ball with 41 seconds left trailing 63-62.
They killed most of the clock but with about 10 seconds Pearl made a move, going behind the back, then faking a spin to the baseline and pulling up and nailing a jumper to give SU the lead.
When Georgetown's inbounds went out of bounds the Dome erupted.
The fans stormed the court after the game. Some guy was hugging Boeheim.
You can watch some of this game on youtube.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Syracuse vs. Georgetown January 30, 1995
This was a matchup between #10 Syracuse and #13 Georgetown.
Georgetown had Jerome Williams, Othella Harrington, Boubacar Aw and a freshman named Allen Iverson.
Syracuse started Michael Lloyd, Laurence Moten, Lucious Jackson, John Wallace and JB Reafsnyder. The core of the 1996 Final Four team came off the bench, Lazarus Sims, Todd Burgan and Otis Hill.
Dicky V called this game as well, this time with Brad Nessler.
Vitale said the previous week SU blew an 11 point lead to UConn.
This game was the day after the 49ers beat the Chargers in the Super Bowl. Dicky V called it the dud bowl.
With a 3 point lead and a minute left SU tried to score and Lloyd drove the lane and found a cutter and SU took a 5 point lead.
And with 72-69 lead Wallace threw a baseball pass to Lloyd for an easy layup and another 5 point lead.
SU won 76-75 but after the game Boeheim probably screamed at them for not killing the clock.
Georgetown shot 9 of 26 from the line.
Going in, I only remembered the outcome of one of these games (the 85 game is very famous) but SU won all 3. A lot better than their percentage nowadays.
Syracuse vs Pittsburgh, January 3, 1990
Syracuse started Stevie Thompson, Dave Johnson, Billy Owens, Derrick Coleman and LeRon Ellis.
A mulleted Mike Hopkins came off the bench, committed a stupid foul and quickly got yanked.
Richard Manning also came off the bench and several times Dick Vitale commented about how the coaching staff thought he would be the next great SU player.
Syracuse was #1 in the country at the time, but entering conference play they had faced a weak schedule. Vitale (who did the game with Tim Brando) mentioned C.W. Post several times.
Pitt started Brian Shorter, Darrelle Porter, Jason Matthews and Bobby Martin.
Sean Miller was injured. Vitale talked about how smart he is, foreshadowing Miller's success as a coach at Xavier.
Pitt jumped out to a huge early lead and DC hardly tried and Billy Owens missed everything.
SU did come storming back once DC stepped up his game. He was unstoppable getting the ball everytime on offense and grabbing every rebound on defense.
Dicky V said several times he should be the number 1 overall pick (which he was), ahead of other top seniors, Lionel Simmons and Gerald Glass.
SU clinched the game with a steal by Stevie Thompson who streaked down the floor with his tail trailing behind him (no other hair on his head).
Georgetown - Syracuse, January 28, 1985
Syracuse started Rafael Addison, Dwyane "Pearl" Washington, Andre Hawkins, Rony Seikaly and Michael Brown.
Georgetown started Patrick Ewing, as well as David Wingate, Reggie Williams and a couple of other guys who drew "who cares?" and "so what?" chants from the crowd.
Georgetown was ranked #2 at the time having just lost to St. John's two days earlier.
St. John's became the new #1 by knocking off defending champ Georgetown and ending their 29 game winning streak.
The crowd for this one was absolutely incredible.
Attendance was 32,229 (3rd largest Carrier Dome crowd, 153 short of largest on campus crowd in history at the time) and they were doing the wave (which was still in its infancy).
The Dome Ranger was running around the perimeter of the court the whole game.
The crowd was so into it, it was everything we wished the Dome would be during our years there. It was definitely the loudest I ever heard the Dome. At one point the announcers (Len Berman and Bill Raftery) stopped talking because they wanted the crowd to be heard.
There was no 3-point shot for this game and the 45-second clock wasn't over the basket, it was off in the corner.
After the first SU basket the game had to be stopped because someone threw an orange on the floor.
Raftery said a cold snap hurt the orange crop in Florida, but not up in Syracuse.
Then when Patrick Ewing was shooting a free throw, an orange hit the back of the backboard and splattered.
John Thompson absolutely flipped out, ran onto the court then pulled his team off the floor.
The game had to be delayed so they could clean the backboard and Boeheim made an announcement (though they didn't show it on the broadcast) telling the fans not to throw shit.
Ewing got to reshoot the free throw he missed and he made the retry. Raftery said he was happy because it put the orange grove back in its place.
Berman and Raftery were talking about rivalries and said SU-Georgetown is becoming the best rivalry in the conference.
They said it all started when Georgetown won in the last game at Manley Field House and John Thompson declared it officially closed.
Back to the game.
Ewing was good but not great, he got his shot blocked by Seikaly a couple times and he hadn't yelled developed the offensive moves he had as a Knick. He dominated on defense though and Georgetown's trap worked so well because even if SU broke it they couldn't get an easy basket because Ewing was hanging back.
Raftery and Berman called Ewing "Russell with offense" and "Wilt who can shoot free throws."
They both agreed he was the surefire first pick in the NBA Draft and that whichever teamed drafted him would immediately become a title contender.
For Syracuse, Rafael Addison went off. He was out front of several breaks and also hit a few midrange jumpers, scoring 26 in the game.
Syracuse stole the ball with 41 seconds left trailing 63-62.
They killed most of the clock but with about 10 seconds Pearl made a move, going behind the back, then faking a spin to the baseline and pulling up and nailing a jumper to give SU the lead.
When Georgetown's inbounds went out of bounds the Dome erupted.
The fans stormed the court after the game. Some guy was hugging Boeheim.
You can watch some of this game on youtube.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Syracuse vs. Georgetown January 30, 1995
This was a matchup between #10 Syracuse and #13 Georgetown.
Georgetown had Jerome Williams, Othella Harrington, Boubacar Aw and a freshman named Allen Iverson.
Syracuse started Michael Lloyd, Laurence Moten, Lucious Jackson, John Wallace and JB Reafsnyder. The core of the 1996 Final Four team came off the bench, Lazarus Sims, Todd Burgan and Otis Hill.
Dicky V called this game as well, this time with Brad Nessler.
Vitale said the previous week SU blew an 11 point lead to UConn.
This game was the day after the 49ers beat the Chargers in the Super Bowl. Dicky V called it the dud bowl.
With a 3 point lead and a minute left SU tried to score and Lloyd drove the lane and found a cutter and SU took a 5 point lead.
And with 72-69 lead Wallace threw a baseball pass to Lloyd for an easy layup and another 5 point lead.
SU won 76-75 but after the game Boeheim probably screamed at them for not killing the clock.
Georgetown shot 9 of 26 from the line.
Going in, I only remembered the outcome of one of these games (the 85 game is very famous) but SU won all 3. A lot better than their percentage nowadays.
Jim Boeheim Needs to Retire Today
Jim Boeheim's stubborn adherence to failed strategies once again cost Syracuse a game, and this time any chance at the NCAA Tournament came with it. Syracuse blew an 11 point lead in 5 minutes thanks to Boeheim's no-points offense, an ineffective strategy I have criticized him for many times. And amazingly, everyone saw it coming. Here's how it happened:
5:16 - Johnny Flynn hits a 3-pointer to give SU a 73-62 lead.
4:58 - Pitt uses good passing to break down the zone for an easy basket, 73-64.
4:30 - Scoop Jardine makes a bad pass for a turnover.
4:10 - Paul Harris makes a steal.
3:47 - Harris makes a great pass to Arinze Onuaku for a dunk, 75-64.
3:37 - Jamie Dixon calls timeout.
3:30 - Levance Fields hits 2 free throws, 75-66.
3:23 - Onuakua passes up a layup.
3:20 - Sean McDonough says "Syracuse may run a little time here. That historically, has been the way under Jim Boeheim, he's a big believer than when you have a lead of this margin at this time of the game try to shorten the game, give the other team fewer possessions."
2:56 - With 2 on the shot clock, Onuaku rushes his shot and gets blocked from behind.
2:48 - Gilbert Brown hits a wide-open 3, 75-69.
2:43 - McDonough says "Those who have questioned Jim Boeheim about this strategy of killing the clock say a lot of times you lose your rhythm."
2:37 - Flynn wasn't paying attention and Ramon stole the inbounds pass and got an easy layup, 75-71.
2:33 - McDonough says "they better stopping worrying about killing the clock and concern themselves with winning the game."
2:33- Boeheim calls timeout and blames the whole thing on his players.
2:33 - McDonough explains that he's talked to Boeheim about this in the past and Boeheim of course defended it. Even though it doesn't work.
2:13 - Harris drives the lane and gets blocked.
2:03 - Levance Fields hits 2 free throws, 75-73.
1:32 - Flynn drives and hits a floater, McDonough calls it possibly the biggest basket of the season, 77-73.
1:03 - Brown hits another 3, 77-76.
:59 - Harris turns it over but Pitt steps out and SU gets it again.
:28 - With 3 on the shot clock Harris dumps it off to Flynn who has to chuck up a 25 footer, which misses.
:15 - For no reason Brown throws the ball off the side of the backboard for no good reason.
:11 - Harris gets trapped on the baseline, has it stolen, and Pitt gets an easy layup to take the lead, 78-77.
:04 - Jardine barely hits the rim.
:01.5 - Boeheim runs on the court, gets a technical, trying to blame the loss on the officials. Pitt hits all four free throws and SU has no chance.
Even with his terrible decision to stop scoring SU still should have won had it not been for some awful turnovers. But the last possession with a minute to go SU needed to score. And they didn't even try. A 3 point lead with say 38 or even 48 seconds is much more likely to hold up than a 1 point lead with 28 seconds left.
The point is, this happens all the time. No team should blow as many leads as Syracuse, but they do because Boeheim is an idiot. I hope he retires today.
5:16 - Johnny Flynn hits a 3-pointer to give SU a 73-62 lead.
4:58 - Pitt uses good passing to break down the zone for an easy basket, 73-64.
4:30 - Scoop Jardine makes a bad pass for a turnover.
4:10 - Paul Harris makes a steal.
3:47 - Harris makes a great pass to Arinze Onuaku for a dunk, 75-64.
3:37 - Jamie Dixon calls timeout.
3:30 - Levance Fields hits 2 free throws, 75-66.
3:23 - Onuakua passes up a layup.
3:20 - Sean McDonough says "Syracuse may run a little time here. That historically, has been the way under Jim Boeheim, he's a big believer than when you have a lead of this margin at this time of the game try to shorten the game, give the other team fewer possessions."
2:56 - With 2 on the shot clock, Onuaku rushes his shot and gets blocked from behind.
2:48 - Gilbert Brown hits a wide-open 3, 75-69.
2:43 - McDonough says "Those who have questioned Jim Boeheim about this strategy of killing the clock say a lot of times you lose your rhythm."
2:37 - Flynn wasn't paying attention and Ramon stole the inbounds pass and got an easy layup, 75-71.
2:33 - McDonough says "they better stopping worrying about killing the clock and concern themselves with winning the game."
2:33- Boeheim calls timeout and blames the whole thing on his players.
2:33 - McDonough explains that he's talked to Boeheim about this in the past and Boeheim of course defended it. Even though it doesn't work.
2:13 - Harris drives the lane and gets blocked.
2:03 - Levance Fields hits 2 free throws, 75-73.
1:32 - Flynn drives and hits a floater, McDonough calls it possibly the biggest basket of the season, 77-73.
1:03 - Brown hits another 3, 77-76.
:59 - Harris turns it over but Pitt steps out and SU gets it again.
:28 - With 3 on the shot clock Harris dumps it off to Flynn who has to chuck up a 25 footer, which misses.
:15 - For no reason Brown throws the ball off the side of the backboard for no good reason.
:11 - Harris gets trapped on the baseline, has it stolen, and Pitt gets an easy layup to take the lead, 78-77.
:04 - Jardine barely hits the rim.
:01.5 - Boeheim runs on the court, gets a technical, trying to blame the loss on the officials. Pitt hits all four free throws and SU has no chance.
Even with his terrible decision to stop scoring SU still should have won had it not been for some awful turnovers. But the last possession with a minute to go SU needed to score. And they didn't even try. A 3 point lead with say 38 or even 48 seconds is much more likely to hold up than a 1 point lead with 28 seconds left.
The point is, this happens all the time. No team should blow as many leads as Syracuse, but they do because Boeheim is an idiot. I hope he retires today.
How To Keep Your House Warm in the Winter
Jason Lee on Saturday Night Live explains how to keep your house warm by using a caulking gun to stick the caulk in the crack.
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