I'd Rather Have the Donuts

A woman hits a half-court shot at a Siena Saints basketball game, as part of a promotion for Dunkin Donuts. She won a $500 DD gift card, which would last Master Bates about a week and a half.
But look what happened next.



Her boyfriend set the whole thing up, and after her miracle shot he took off the coffee cup costume and proposed to her.
Pretty good night, $500 worth of a donuts and a diamond ring.



Note: don't be a douche and vote with the mentality of I'd sell the diamond ring and get $5000 worth of donuts. So there!"

What Do You Give Me For? Carson Wentz and Prince Harry

This one comes from the mind of Julian who asked why Carson Wentz was on the cover of daddy's magazine and mommy's magazine.

What Do You Give Me For? Heidi Cruz and Anna Gasteyer

What do you give me for Heidi Cruz and Anna Gasteyer?

What Do You Give Me For? David Letterman And Sweaty Department Store Santa in the Offseason

What Do You Give Me For David Letterman And Sweaty Department Store Santa in the Offseason?

It's a trick. This is David Letterman. This is what he looks like now.

What Do You Give Me For? Ted Cruz and The Lady from Maury

What do you give me for Ted Cruz and Searcy Hayes, a guest on the Maury Povich Show?

The internet went nuts after an episode featuring Hayes aired, questioning which of man was the father of her baby, because some think she bears a striking resemblance to Presidential candidate, Texas Senator Ted Cruz.

And if you need to see more of Hayes before making your decision, good news, she's apparently going to make a sex tape.

What Do You Give Me For? Giddy Potts and Tariq From the Roots

What do you give me for Middle Tennessee's Giddy Potts and The Roots's Tariq aka Black Thought?

Rotation Debation

Now that the Mets are in the World Series (the Mets are in the World Series!!!!!) with 5 days off before Game 1, the question has turned to how the Mets should set their pitching rotation.
A lot of people think they should stick with essentially what it is right now, Harvey-Syndergaard-deGrom.
But I think they should set their best pitchers first, deGrom-Harvey-Syndergaard. I want deGrom to go first because he feel he gives the Mets the best chance to win Game 1. And I do not believe in saving deGrom for a potential Game 7, as that could be a recipe for losing before you even get there.
Also, I would prefer to get Thor his first start at home, just in case there is something to his road troubles.

What Do You Give Me For? Bart Chilton and the Painting From "Ghostbusters II"

What do you give me for Bart Chilton, former Commissioner of the CFTC and Vigo the Carpathian of Moldavia, the painting in "Ghostbusters II".

Note: we saw this movie at Damino's 11th birthday party because Mama Damino would not let us see "No Holds Barred."

Bat This Around

When the Mets scored 7 runs in the 4th inning on Sunday, 12 men came to bat. This gave me a great opportunity to explain to Chase what batting around meant.
I described it as when all 9 men bat in the same inning.
Unbeknownst to me, a debate was raging in baseball circles over whether batting around meant all 9 men, or 10 (a more literal interpretation).
I think it's 9 because batting "around" means getting it back to the first hitter, though not necessarily in that inning.
The biggest thing I learned in my research on this topic, is that there is no consensus and no right answer.

What Do You Give Me For? Chase and Leon Spinks

Chase got head-butted by Diesel jarring out what was already a very loose front tooth. That image, along with the hooded sweatshirt he was wearing called to mind this famous picture.

At Least I Did Better Than CJ Fair

CJ Fair drew this picture of Otto for ESPN last year.

I drew this picture of Otto for my kids last week.

Funny or Douchey?

This has the potential to be the most controversial Funny or Douchey ever. I know many of you will vote douchey without giving it a second thought. But I know at least a couple of you will find this to be quite clever and humorous.

Funny or Douchey?

An Australian colleague had a birthday and on the card I wrote "Happy Birthday! I hope you have a G'day."

A New Kind of F or D

Rams coach Jeff Fisher sent out 6 players for the opening coin toss against the Redskins, they happened to be the six players active for Sunday's game who were acquired via the trade for RGIII. They are Stedman Bailey, Michael Brockers, Greg Robinson, Janoris Jenkins, Zac Stacy, and Alec Ogletree.

I definitely think the answer is dickish. If RGIII were playing well and Fisher wanted to say "we like our side" I would say it's funny. But doing it just to show up the Redskins now that things have gone so badly, that's just kicking a guy when he's down.

What Do You Give Me For? Zara's Kids Pajamas and A Concentration Camp Uniform

Mexican clothing company Zara came out with an adorable line of baby pajamas they though would recall a sheriff in the Old West. Instead, to many it brought to mind the uniforms the Nazis made the Jews wear in concentration camps in WWII.
So what do you give me for Zara's Kids pajamas and a concentration camp uniform?

I hope this reminds you all of the Hitler Teapot.

What Do You Give Me For? Michael Jackson in the "Thriller" Video and Razor's Cat

What do you give me for Michael Jackson from the "Thriller" video and Razor's cat?

What Do You Give Me For? Sean Dempsey and Johnny Galecki

What do you give me for the 27th place finisher in the 2014 World Series of Poker Main Event Sean Dempsey and Big Bang Theory's Johnny Galecki?

Note: I couldn't find a good picture of Johnny Galecki to really make this work. As Leonard Hofstadter he has the glasses but not the beard, as himself he has had a beard, but not the glasses. But if you cover the picture on the right I'd bet your mental picture of Johnny Galecki is closer to Dempsey than the one I found on Google images.

Funny or Douchey?

Dan Heimiller won the $1,000 Seniors Event at the World Series of Poker for $627,000. Nothing douchey about that.
He did it while wearing a T-shirt that says "Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!"

Even that, I wouldn't say is douchey.
A long time ago Papa Poop told me about a guy he played blackjack with in Atlantic City. Every time the guy got an ace he said "king of hearts." After 20 times, he finally got the king of hearts and said he called it.
That's what Heimiller does with the shirt. He wears it every single time in the hopes of finally winning?
Is that douchey?

Better Fake Protest Sign

Sometimes the internets like to have fun with things.
For instance, some clever person photoshopped a sign into the famous Martha Burk-led protests against the Masters. Amidst all the women with signs arguing for gender equity, nestled inconspicuously in the back is a sign that says "Iron My Shirt Bitch."

I e-mail Mrs. Poop that picture every time I need my shirts ironed.

We also have this sign, in a monitor behind Fox anchor Shepard Smith. The banner on the screen reads "Biggest Protest in Canadian History in Progress" and the protester in the monitor is holding up a sign that says "I Am a Little Upset."

Trash or Treasure?

Our second installment of Trash or Treasure revolves around this naked lady cup I bought in Acapulco:

Now you may be saying "But Poop, it's not a naked lady cup if she's not naked." To which I say "fill it up with cold water and wait."