Their Mothers Were So Proud

The good boychicks on the World Baseball Classic teams representing Israel had us all kvelling after they removed their caps for Hatikvah and put on kippot.

They also won their first 2 games, against South Korea and Taipei, making it very likely they will advance to the second round of pool play.



Readers of this blog will be most familiar with current Met Ty Kelly and former Met Ike Davis. Staten Island's own Jason Marquis is the ace of the pitching staff.

Nazi vs. Jew Beer Pong

The town of Princeton, NJ is an uproar after a it was revealed that students at the local high school have a long standing tradition of playing a beer pong variant called Jews vs. Nazis.

The cups are set up on one side in a swastika shape, and a Jewish star on the other.
The Jew team can "Anne Frank" a cup, to hide it or take it away.
The Nazis can "Auschwitz" their opponents and force them to skip a round.

It's not clear if there is any true anti-Semitism here, Jewish students may even have been part of it.

But they are certainly guilty of not understanding the seriousness of World War II and the Holocaust.
Though they should be commended for their creativity, and at least a cursory understanding of history.

Not Doing Anything To Disprove the Stereotypes

Some Jewish women are protesting Nordstrom's zany Hanukkah sweater that says "chai maintenance" and "Hanukkah J.A.P." forcing the store to stop selling it.

With all the more important things going on in the world, shouldn't we stop being outraged over mostly accurate stereotypes?

I Love Everything Except the Name

I would have gone with Jew-ber. But Schlep is pretty funny too.

Marching Bands and Solemn Holidays Don't Mix

Syracuse has had to move its normal pregame festivities for tonight's game against Louisville so as not to interfere with students observing Yom Kippur in Hendricks Chapel.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Syracuse campus consult the above picture.
Normally, pregame festivities including tailgate parties take place on the quad and in surrounding parking lots. And the marching band marches through the quad to the game, right past Hendricks Chapel.

A marching band and a bunch of loud drunks are certainly not fitting with the solemn attitude needed on Yom Kippur.

In respect to the Jewish students the University changed the plans to keep the quad and the area in front of Hendricks Chapel (the steps of which are a very common meeting/sitting spot on campus) clear.

"The pregame festivities will be held in the north area of the Carrier Dome between Gate D and the Heroy Geology Building and the marching band will play on the east side of the Dome by Irving Ave. Fans walking to the game will be directed around the quad and Hendricks Chapel."

What Do You Give Me For? Zara's Kids Pajamas and A Concentration Camp Uniform

Mexican clothing company Zara came out with an adorable line of baby pajamas they though would recall a sheriff in the Old West. Instead, to many it brought to mind the uniforms the Nazis made the Jews wear in concentration camps in WWII.
So what do you give me for Zara's Kids pajamas and a concentration camp uniform?

I hope this reminds you all of the Hitler Teapot.

Time's Up Macklemore

Ironic that a guy who preaches tolerance and acceptance of everyone would be an anti-Semite.
But that's what happened when Macklemore came out for a performance in a disguise, big nose, bushy beard very similar to offensive caricatures of Jews used by the Nazis and others.

And just by pure coincidence he wore this get-up while singing Thrift Shop, a song about going to such great lengths to get a bargain that you will sleep on sheets that smell like piss.

Once he realized his mistake, he quickly apologized. Oh no, wait he didn't, he blamed the beholder.

"Some people there thought I looked like Ringo, some Abe Lincoln. If anything I thought I looked like Humpty Hump with a bowl cut....I wasn’t attempting to mimic any culture, nor resemble one. A 'Jewish stereotype' never crossed my mind."
He said it was "surprising and disappointing" that the disguise was slammed as anti-Semitic.
"I acknowledge how the costume could, within a context of stereotyping, be ascribed to a Jewish caricature," Macklemore wrote. "I am here to say that it was absolutely not my intention."
And when he got called out by courageous famous Jews like Seth Rogen he responded with ""A fake witches nose, wig, and beard = random costume. Not my idea of a stereotype of anybody."

I actually think he was trying to dress as Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory.

This Year's Passover Parody

Every year some creative Jews come up with music video of some popular song with lyrics referring to Passover.
This year's "Let It Go" version is pretty clever.
The guy who plays Pharaoh steals the show.



Story Suggested by Mama Poop

Merry Christmas To All

Except the Jews, who should just enjoy the Chinese food and stay away from "Grudge Match" it looks horrible.

I doubt this is authentic, but it's a funny joke either way.

Good Boychick Wins the Spelling Bee

I don't think Arvind Mahankali is Jewish. I doubt he's ever been to a kosher deli. But thanks to his knowledge of traditional Jewish cuisine, Arvind is the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion.



"May I have the language of origin please?
German-derived Yiddish"

I don't know why the audience found that so funny. But did you notice the example sentence? "Max hoped to find at least one more knaidel in his soup bowl but all he discovered was his missing lower denture." Who is the smartass who writes these things?



Story suggested by Master Bates

How to Explain Hanukkah To Your Kids

Happy Hanukkah to all!

Let the Jews Play

The good boychiks at the Robert M Beren Academy in Houston made the semifinals of the Texas Association of Private and Parochial Schools, but almost didn’t get to play in the game.
Because it was scheduled for 9pm on a Friday, and the Orthodox Jewish players wouldn’t play on Shabbos.
The assholes at TAPPS refused to reschedule the game to accommodate the poor Jews. They said that all schools joining the conference accept that Sunday is the official day of worship. Earleri in the playoffs, schools did alter schedules so the Jews didn’t have to choose between the game and their religion.
Former Knicks Jeff Van Gundy, called TAPPS officials to advocate for the Jews.
“I called because when you’re the head of an association like this, the only thing you should worry about is doing right by the kids,” Van Gundy said. “This decision has nothing to do with the kids. I feel like they made a mistake and they don’t have a vice president of common sense who will tell them that this is silly and it’s O.K. to change your mind.”
Well, they still have changed their minds but they got overruled. Beren got an injunction and rather than fight it TAPPS agreed to move to game to before Shabbos.
I like rules as much as the next guy, but sticking to them blindly, just because they’re rules, is usually the wrong thing to do. Especially when kids are involved. These kids did nothing wrong and they deserve their chance to play for the State title. I’m glad they’re getting it.

A Piece of My Childhood -- Gone

Golden's Deli, a staple for Staten Island Jews, has closed down.
Apparently the owners and the landlord couldn't agree on a lease arrangement. Golden's may reopen at some point in a new location.
But if not a lot of cool childhood memories will be gone:
I always loved the pickle bar
I liked sitting in the train/subway car, though it wasn't big enough to accommodate large parties
One time Mama Poop and Papa Poop played a trick on us, they told us we were going to dinner at Snedlog, and we had to figure out what it washttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
And of course, I will miss the mushroom barley soup, which came in third on my soup rankings



Story Suggested by BC

Have an Easy Fast Everyone

A very observant Jew in Philadelphia went to his rabbi to complain that he wouldn't be able to watch the Phillies game tonight:
"Rabbi, why does God do this to us. All my gentile friends get to watch the game and I have to be at Kol Nidre and I can't watch the game."
The rabbi said "don't worry, this is why God created the DVR."
"You mean I can DVR Kol Nidre?"

L'Shana Tova

May 5772 be the best year yet.
"Everyday I'm shecklin"

Music to Pluck To

The laws of kashrut (keeping kosher) require animals to be treated humanely. So when the goyim dump their freshly killed chickens into boiling hot water, Jews don't do that because the animal can still feel it. The downside is, kosher chickens have many more feathers than non-kosher chickens. Because the scalding hot water helps the automatic pickers remove the feathers much easier.

The point of all this is, it's quite a painstaking process to clean a kosher chicken for cooking and eating. This is especially true of chicken wings. It's a near impossibility to get all the feathers off, but each time I typically spend half an hour plucking feathers and singing to myself.

Which is a better song to sing while plucking chicken wings?

"Pretty Wings" - Maxwell



"Take These Broken Wings" - Mr. Mister

How Did the Hindus Beat Us?

Fascinating study out from the Pew Forum on Religious and Public Life.
The study breaks down incomes by religion. The highest earning group? Hindus. 65% earn more than $75,000 a year. Compared to only 58% of Jews. But if you take out people who actually practice Judaism from that category, 67% of Reform Jews earn more than $75k.
The worst performing groups are Jehovah's Witness and members of historically black churches like Pentecostals and Baptists. More than 2/3s of those groups earn less than $50,000.
It's an interesting study but I think we knew for the most part Jews are very successful and black people still have less than average incomes -- as a group. But I am not sure if there are any conclusions we can make about cause and effect here.
And I also am not sure what the hell the Hindus are doing to make themselves so rich.
Either running a 7/Eleven is a suprisingly lucrative business or that offensive stereotype I just used is not accurate.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Mama Poop bought Chase some Hanukah cookies, only one problem with them.

Note: this is a lot harder than our last quiz, but the mistake is not as bad as the one with Chase's Purim gift.

Where Were You on Christmas?

During her incredibly boring confirmation hearing Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagan spiced up the proceedings with some good ethnic humor.
In reference to the underpants bomber Sen. Lindsey Graham asked her where she was on Christmas.



"Like all Jews, I was probably at a Chinese restaurant"

I just wish they hadn't dragged Chuck Schumer into this. I didn't really want the world to know he's one of us.

The Unedited Anne Frank Diary

Some parents in Virginia are objecting to their children reading "The Diary of Anne Frank" in schools.
But not for the reason you might think.
The problem is the school was using the unedited version of the diary for 8th grade students. This includes some passages that are often deleted.
A mother of an eighth-grader at Floyd T. Binns Middle School became concerned about an entry in which Frank describes having erotic feelings for another girl and another in which she describes what her vagina looks like. The mother did not want the book removed, she said. She was asking that her daughter not be required to read the book aloud, as the class had been doing.