The Christmas Spirit

WestJet Airlines decided to do something really nice for some of their passengers this holiday season. They set up a booth in the Toronto and Hamilton airports, and when their passengers checked in, they told Santa what they wanted for Christmas.
While the flights were in the air, WestJet employees went shopping and bought the presents that were requested, and when the passengers arrived in Calgary their gifts were on the conveyor belt.



Believe it or not some people are actually complaining about this video saying that this was all a publicity stunt by the airline, or that this just feeds into the naked consumerism that has overtaken the holiday.
If this video brought either one of those thoughts to your head, before it brought a smile to your face or a tear to your eye, then you are way more cynical, and much more in need of holiday spirit than the people at WestJet.

Merry Christmas To All

Except the Jews, who should just enjoy the Chinese food and stay away from "Grudge Match" it looks horrible.

I doubt this is authentic, but it's a funny joke either way.

Poppy Didn't React Like This for His Pinstripe Bowl Ticket

A very touching video is making the rounds on the internet since Christmas. An Alabama fan gets a ticket to the BCS National Title Game, Alabama vs. Notre Dame.



Strange that Poppy didn't react that way when he got a ticket to the Pinstripe Bowl for Christmas.
I love the way the guy tried to seem happy about the hat, and they had to say "what size is it?" in order for him to notice the ticket.

The Poop's Christmas Message

A lot has been lost this year, a massive hurricane destroying the East Coast, a horrific mass shooting devastating the entire country, and a presidential election saddening about 50 percent of Americans.
It's been a crazy year, but when so much has been lost the best thing to do is to be thankful for that which we do have.
So whether you're spending this time with family celebrating Christmas, or spending it with the proprietors of your local Chinese food restaurant, take a minute to reflect on all that you have gained this year, while others have lost so much.

Enough Already

On December 18, 1997, a very funny episode of Seinfeld (aren't they all) aired. It was called "The Strike" and it introduced Frank Costanza's made-up holiday of Festivus.



On December 3, 2003, a very funny episode of The O.C. aired. It was called "Chrismukkah" and it introduced Seth Cohen's combined holiday of Chrismukkah.




It's been 14 years since Festivus, and 8 since Chrismukkah, yet I still see on Facebook and Twitter, people referring to these made-up holidays. I love the Festivus pole as much as the next guy, and I think Rachel Bilson looks hot, even in a Santa-cap/yarmulke hybrid but it's time we as a people moved on.

And until television writers can come up with the next fake holiday for us to worship, I think we should just stick to Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (dammit).

Something Syracuse and Penn State Alumni Can Agree On

I think the Syracuse alums, and especially the Penn State people are just sick of talking and thinking about these god damn child molesters who have embarrassed our Universities.

The War on Christmas

There is a war going on outside, and none of us are safe. It’s the war on Christmas.
Here are the warring factions: On one side you have the people who don’t celebrate Christmas and are offended when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them. On the other side you have the people who do celebrate Christmas and get offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” to them.
Both sides are nuts. But they have gone so far that people in the middle are starting to get dragged into this and getting aggravated.

Acceptable: calling a school's concert the "Winter Show" or "Holiday Show."
Not acceptable: At the winter show, having the children perform a rousing rendition of "I'm dreaming of a white holiday."

Acceptable: a civic building having a display containing artifacts from several religions
Not acceptable: a civic building having a "holiday" tree

Here is what should happen: everyone should calm the fuck down. People should stop getting offended so easily. If you go to a store and the person at the door says "happy holidays" you should reply "Merry Christmas" if you are so inclined. If you are a Jewish/atheist/Muslim and someone says "Merry Christmas", smile and reply "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" or "Joyous Kwanzaa" if you feel snarky.
If your child's school or town's municipal building has a display that only includes Christmas, kindly suggest a menorah be added.

This is a joyous time of year and we shouldn't ruin it by complaining that our particular religion doesn't get the attention it deserves.

Santa's on Macy's Naughty List

Santa Claus has been canned from Macy's, and he's anything but jolly about it.
John Toomey, known for 20 years at the Union Square Macy's in San Francisco as "Santa John," was told Saturday he'll have to take his "ho, ho, hos" elsewhere because an adult couple complained about a joke he cracked.
"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey said .
"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."
The kids who sit on his lap, he said, get only his trademark laugh and questions about what toys they want.


You mean to tell me a grown woman sat on Santa's lap, then complained about a joke, that joke? If the couple was so offended by it why couldn't they walk away. How could that joke have offended them so greatly they felt the need to complain. And the store, in San Francisco of all places, felt the need to fire the guy. The oversensitive babies are beginning their War on Christmas.

Joseph Isn't Good in the Sack

A controversial billboard from a church in New Zealand claims to "challenge stereotypes" about the birth of Jesus Christ.



St Matthew-in-the-City Church in Auckland, which erected the billboard, said it had intended to provoke debate.

But the Catholic Church, among others, has condemned it as "inappropriate" and "disrespectful".

Within hours of its unveiling, the billboard had been defaced with brown paint.

The church's vicar, Archdeacon Glynn Cardy, said the aim of the billboard had been to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story.

"What we're trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about. Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?"

But Lyndsay Freer, spokeswoman for the Catholic Diocese of Auckland, said the poster was offensive to Christians.

"Our Christian tradition of 2,000 years is that Mary remains a virgin and that Jesus is the son of God, not Joseph," she told the New Zealand Herald. "Such a poster is inappropriate and disrespectful."

I hope all had a very Merry Christmas.

Bo Obama Barks at Santa Claus

Michelle Obama is trying to read stories to children and Bo interrupting by warning the strange man in the red suit to back away from his family.



As much I love Bo that little ham Sasha is still my favorite Obama.

Merry Christmas Mets Fans

From Omar Minaya to you New York Mets fans, R.A. Dickey, heretofore referred to on this blog as U.R.A. Dickey.



On a related note: any fantasy baseball league that wants me as a member must institure a new rule. All but the last place owner shall contribute money to buy the last place team's owner an R.A. Dickey Mets jersey. It's sort of like Pizza Parlor Derek's paper bag but funnier.

The way this offseason is going for the Mets I can totally see Holliday going to the Red Sox, Bay to the Yankees and the Mets are left with nothing but Carlos Delgado and Pedro Martinez. Both of whom we will bitch about when they get hurt next year. I can't believe Omar missed the boat on Marquis and Vazquez.

Rap Battle: Blitzen vs. Santa

A smack-talkin Blitzen (Lupe Fiasco) calls up Santa and starts talking some mess. Santa (brilliantly voiced by KRS-One) and his buddies, the Nike Kobe and LeBron puppets aren't gonna take that.

Like Those Pictures of Dogs Playing Poker

I love dogs. I love poker. But I hate those pictures of dogs playing poker.

That's sort of the way I feel about this CBS ad, a mashup of "Frosty the Snowman" and some classic Barney Stinson (NPH) lines from "How I Met Your Mother."



Parents groups are outraged over this saying a childhood classic should not be used in this way, especially since the dialogue they chose is particularly racy.

Personally, I just never understand why something is funny just because it's delivered by someone you wouldn't expect like babies cursing and old white people acting black.

But I like whiny complainers and complaining whiners even less than I like unfunny jokes. So I side with CBS here and say no long-term damage will come to any children who google "Frosty the Snowman" and get this clip instead.

Softening on Secret Santa

I have always opposed Secret Santa and pretty much any other kind of forced gift-giving. No one enjoys it and usually someone ends up getting screwed. So you can imagine my dismay when in my first day at my new job I was drafted for the office Secret Santa. Everyone in the office was complaining about it and it seemed to be nothing more than a perfunctory exchange of gift cards.
Being the new guy I didn't think it was in my best interests to recuse myself from the gift-giving so I grinned and pretended to be interested. When I reached into the bowl to make my choice I selected my own name. I had a fleeting moment where I thought I should just put the slip in my pocket and say nothing to no one. But instead I threw back my name and selected another.
With the spending limit set at $25 I asked Mrs. Poop to pick me up a Best Buy gift card for $20. The Secret Santa provided for some lively discussion around the office for a couple days, with pretty much everyone just bitching about it. But when the time came to exchange gifts the recipient of mine was very pleased, and even I made out well.
I got a $20 gift card from Starbucks. Sure, I don't drink coffee. And it was once my claim that I had never purchased anything at a Starbucks, but I've since broken that streak. I will happily share my gift card with Mrs. Poop and even enjoy a couple of Peppermint Hot Chocolates of my own. But in thanking the gift giver I was able to stir up a good conversation about coffee and working nights and it turned out this whole absurd endeavour actually served me quite well in incorporating me into the staff at my new job.