Saturday, December 30, 2006
Congrats Tiger
In addition to all the great things Tiger did this year, one of the feats he should be proudest of is that he had sex with his wife. And now there is proof, a little Tiger is due this summer. No word on gender.
Last Year on the Poop
We saluted the amazing crop of people who were born 1 day before New Year's Eve.
Things to Do in Denver When You've Been Snowed in for a Week
Denver is getting hit with another blizzard and I can only imagine what the Freeds have been doing?
a) having sex
b) reading the Poop
c) memorizing the "Practice" speech
d) playing games (not including "hide the salami" that's mentioned in choice A
e) all of the above
a) having sex
b) reading the Poop
c) memorizing the "Practice" speech
d) playing games (not including "hide the salami" that's mentioned in choice A
e) all of the above
Who is Angry Reader?
An ticked off poster, referring to himself only as "Angry Reader" has been harassing Pizza Parlor Derek.
I admitted to correcting a mistake on the Nation under the name Angry Reader. but I was not the author of the Erin Andrews comment ripping Derek.
I believe that one of the two men in this picture is Angry Reader. What do you think?
I admitted to correcting a mistake on the Nation under the name Angry Reader. but I was not the author of the Erin Andrews comment ripping Derek.
I believe that one of the two men in this picture is Angry Reader. What do you think?
Piping Hot Pizza Parlor
Pizza Parlor Derek gave up on his lengthy bowl previews and went to quick hits, and over those two days his record is 8-0 (6-2 against the spread).
Saddam Hussein is Dead
While I don't mind killing a ruthless dictator, I don't see how this helps our case in Iraq, our with the rest of the Muslim world.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Not Just a Pretty Face
ESPN's Erin Andrews wants you to think of her as more than just a pretty face.
She also has a great ass!
She tells the Atlanta JC that she has to fight the stereotype that she is just a dumb blonde. "You can get off on the way you look for only so long until people figure you out. People judge you and say, 'She got her job because of her looks,' but they don't know I was up at 2 a.m. studying and reading as much as I can about the game ahead."
Andrews has always liked an audience, she grew up a dancer and while at the University of Florida she was a member of the Dazzlers, the basketball dance team.
Her father, Steve, is an investigative TV reporter in Tampa.
She's had no plastic surgery but she is not a natural blonde (Georgia Derek wanted to find that out for himself), she went blonde when she started modeling in 2000.
She's single and cringes when a nice man asks what she does for a living. When someone recognizes her when she goes out in Atlanta, she counts on her best friend to reply, "That's not Erin Andrews, but doesn't she look just like her?" Andrews used to date an NHL player. One of her on-the-job peeves is married athletes who ask her out.
The article doesn't mention anything about whether or not that kid at the Iowa game really did grab her boob.
The NFL is Poop - Week 16
The Colts are Done
Losing to Houston? They'll have to play a first week game and even if they win, they are not going into Baltimore or San Diego and winning. I think last year might have been Peyton Manning's best chance to shake off the loser label.
I Almost Got a Scarf
Watched some of Broncos-Bengals in Hi-Def on a 50-inch plasma. I love a snow game, but this was even better. Plus the game was fantastic. Sorry to see a great game like that with major playoff implications come down to a botched snap on an extra point. But it was exciting, though I was rooting for overtime.
Hate To Say It
Ok, actually I love to say it "I told you so." Even after the loss to the Bills I still predicted the Jets would make the playoffs and all they need to do now is beat the lowly Raiders. If they don't it will go down as one of the biggest choke jobs in NFL history.
Game of the Week
Tennessee 30 Buffalo 29
There were 13 scores in this game. The Titans could not stop Buffalo from scoring, but held them to five field goals which was enough. Because they have Vince Young. He started off the game on fire, completing his first 6 passes for over 100 yards and a TD. That opened the field up for him to scramble 36 yards for a TD later in the game that gave the Titans the lead. There is something to be said for a QB that knows how to win and he's proving he can balance passing and running when it counts. They'd need a miracle to make the playoffs this year, and a miracle NOT to make them next year, and for many years to come.
Game to Watch
Jacksonville at Kansas City
Could be meaningless, could mean everything. Both teams need to win and get some help.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Jason Campbell had probably his best game but for the second time this season the defense blew a 14 point lead. They could not stop the Rams in the second half, particularly Steven Jackson. Now we get a chance to ruin the Giants season. I know the Giants fans have given up but they are still in a win and your in situation and all we have to play for is that.
Cheerleader of the Week
Bibiana of the Miami Dolphins
She has lived in Miami most of her life but she was born in the Dominican Republic. She loves cooking, horseback riding (she owns three horses) and riding her new jetski.
Bibiana is only 19 years old.
It's not just me who loves Bibiana. She was named Sexiest Cheerleader of the Year by FHM. Why does she think she won? "Dolphin cheerleaders said it was because of my butt. Butts are appreciated down here."
Click the above links for more pictures of her.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
San Diego 31 Chicago 10
More will be learned after the first week of the playoffs.
Losing to Houston? They'll have to play a first week game and even if they win, they are not going into Baltimore or San Diego and winning. I think last year might have been Peyton Manning's best chance to shake off the loser label.
I Almost Got a Scarf
Watched some of Broncos-Bengals in Hi-Def on a 50-inch plasma. I love a snow game, but this was even better. Plus the game was fantastic. Sorry to see a great game like that with major playoff implications come down to a botched snap on an extra point. But it was exciting, though I was rooting for overtime.
Hate To Say It
Ok, actually I love to say it "I told you so." Even after the loss to the Bills I still predicted the Jets would make the playoffs and all they need to do now is beat the lowly Raiders. If they don't it will go down as one of the biggest choke jobs in NFL history.
Game of the Week
Tennessee 30 Buffalo 29
There were 13 scores in this game. The Titans could not stop Buffalo from scoring, but held them to five field goals which was enough. Because they have Vince Young. He started off the game on fire, completing his first 6 passes for over 100 yards and a TD. That opened the field up for him to scramble 36 yards for a TD later in the game that gave the Titans the lead. There is something to be said for a QB that knows how to win and he's proving he can balance passing and running when it counts. They'd need a miracle to make the playoffs this year, and a miracle NOT to make them next year, and for many years to come.
Game to Watch
Jacksonville at Kansas City
Could be meaningless, could mean everything. Both teams need to win and get some help.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins
Jason Campbell had probably his best game but for the second time this season the defense blew a 14 point lead. They could not stop the Rams in the second half, particularly Steven Jackson. Now we get a chance to ruin the Giants season. I know the Giants fans have given up but they are still in a win and your in situation and all we have to play for is that.
Cheerleader of the Week
Bibiana of the Miami Dolphins
She has lived in Miami most of her life but she was born in the Dominican Republic. She loves cooking, horseback riding (she owns three horses) and riding her new jetski.
Bibiana is only 19 years old.
It's not just me who loves Bibiana. She was named Sexiest Cheerleader of the Year by FHM. Why does she think she won? "Dolphin cheerleaders said it was because of my butt. Butts are appreciated down here."
Click the above links for more pictures of her.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
San Diego 31 Chicago 10
More will be learned after the first week of the playoffs.
Last Year on the Poop
I showed off the newest addition to my jersey collection.
I brought up an old mistake Vin Juice will never live down.
Carrie Underwood made her first appearance on the Poop.
And of course, it's December 29th, the birthday of Reissberg.
I really like what I said about it last year so I'll just update the text:
The straggler in the group, Jeremy, is finally turning 28 today.
He has spent the last 16 years serving good-naturedly as the butt of jokes from Sobel, Leary and me.
He has run into light poles, thrown house parties, been slapped and even got married.
You can see the size of a man's face, but not the size of a man's heart.
So please join me in celebrating this day 28 years ago when the doctor said to Reissberg's dad, "Congratulations, its a boy."
And he responded "give me my baby, asshole."
I brought up an old mistake Vin Juice will never live down.
Carrie Underwood made her first appearance on the Poop.
And of course, it's December 29th, the birthday of Reissberg.
I really like what I said about it last year so I'll just update the text:
The straggler in the group, Jeremy, is finally turning 28 today.
He has spent the last 16 years serving good-naturedly as the butt of jokes from Sobel, Leary and me.
He has run into light poles, thrown house parties, been slapped and even got married.
You can see the size of a man's face, but not the size of a man's heart.
So please join me in celebrating this day 28 years ago when the doctor said to Reissberg's dad, "Congratulations, its a boy."
And he responded "give me my baby, asshole."
Tyson Arrested
Mike Tyson was arrested on drug and D-U-I charges outside a Scottsdale, Arizona nightclub.
Three officers working on a special D-U-I task force stopped Tyson at about 1:45 am after seeing him pull out of a driveway without looking. Tyson almost hit a sheriff's car.
Tyson showed signs of impairment and was arrested for driving under the influence after failing a field sobriety test.
Police found cocaine on him and in his vehicle while arresting him.
Three officers working on a special D-U-I task force stopped Tyson at about 1:45 am after seeing him pull out of a driveway without looking. Tyson almost hit a sheriff's car.
Tyson showed signs of impairment and was arrested for driving under the influence after failing a field sobriety test.
Police found cocaine on him and in his vehicle while arresting him.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Pizza Parlor Derek Gets The Scoop
Pizza Parlor Derek was the first one to tell me about Tony Romo banging a hot blond singer (not Jessica Simpson) but Pizza Parlor favorite, Carrie Underwood.
Steroid Cheats
Back in 2003 baseball had this great idea: "Let's subject our players to steroid testing. And when hardly any of our players test positive we'll prove there are no steroids in baseball."
But a funny thing happened, as more than 5% (rougly 100) players tested positive. That triggered testing with punishments for the 2004 season. Now a court has ruled that the names of those players can be used in a federal investigation into steroids.
And if that happens the information will definitely get leaked, touching off a whole new steroids scandal. I don't want to guess but I'd have to assume at least a few stars would be on the list. But those that aren't will have even more evidence that they never were.
But a funny thing happened, as more than 5% (rougly 100) players tested positive. That triggered testing with punishments for the 2004 season. Now a court has ruled that the names of those players can be used in a federal investigation into steroids.
And if that happens the information will definitely get leaked, touching off a whole new steroids scandal. I don't want to guess but I'd have to assume at least a few stars would be on the list. But those that aren't will have even more evidence that they never were.
Break Up the Knicks
The Knicks continue to show a lot of heart, this time by beating the Detroit Pistons in triple OT, 151-145. This time it was Channing Frye who hit the big shot (to force a third OT) and Marbury who did the rest, scoring 41.
Eddy Curry scored 33 points shooting identical 11-15 from the floor and the line.
Jamal Crawford took over in the third OT and ended with 29 points and 11 assists.
The Knicks are the first NBA team to play 3 3OT games in one calendar year (Memphis in the first game of this season and Phoenix in the first game of 2006 -- but last season). And they won all 3.
They are now 4-1 since the brawl with the only loss coming to the abysmal 76ers. Three of those wins came in OT (Jazz in 1 OT, Bobcats in 2 OT and now the Pistons in 3 OT).
I'm not ready to proclaim this team as good or even decent yet, but they're only one game out of first.
Eddy Curry scored 33 points shooting identical 11-15 from the floor and the line.
Jamal Crawford took over in the third OT and ended with 29 points and 11 assists.
The Knicks are the first NBA team to play 3 3OT games in one calendar year (Memphis in the first game of this season and Phoenix in the first game of 2006 -- but last season). And they won all 3.
They are now 4-1 since the brawl with the only loss coming to the abysmal 76ers. Three of those wins came in OT (Jazz in 1 OT, Bobcats in 2 OT and now the Pistons in 3 OT).
I'm not ready to proclaim this team as good or even decent yet, but they're only one game out of first.
Mets Miss Out
There will be no fuckin Zito now (thanks Sciz). The San Francisco Giants jumped in and blew everybody out of the water with their offer to Barry Zito.
The Mets were unwilling to match the 7-year, $126m deal (exactly $18 per) with another year at $18m possible.
I don't fault the Mets for not matching this ridiculous offer but if he helps you win the World Series in year one and sucks for 6 years, he's worth it.
Now the Mets really need for their young pitchers (Pelfrey, Humber, Perez and Maine) to step up because Glavine, El Duque and Pedro are only a couple years from serious skill deterioration or retirement.
The Mets were unwilling to match the 7-year, $126m deal (exactly $18 per) with another year at $18m possible.
I don't fault the Mets for not matching this ridiculous offer but if he helps you win the World Series in year one and sucks for 6 years, he's worth it.
Now the Mets really need for their young pitchers (Pelfrey, Humber, Perez and Maine) to step up because Glavine, El Duque and Pedro are only a couple years from serious skill deterioration or retirement.
How Is Diesel Not On This List?
Max is still top dog in New York. The city's health department reports Max is again the most popular name for Big Apple canines. Lucky is second, followed by Princess, Rocky and Buddy. The rankings come from city dog license data. The top New York breeds are mutts, Labrador retrievers and pit bulls. City officials note only about a fifth of New York dogs have proper tags, despite a state law requiring dog licenses.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
What is With These Fox News Anchors?
First you had Shep Smith wanting to give J.lo a curb job, not a blow job, then Jane Skinner kept talking about my top cock, top cock, top cop, now this:
Song of the Week
"Both Sides Now" - Neil Diamond
The song was originally written by Joni Mitchell. Then Judy Collins recorded it and made it a big hit. It's been covered 20-something times. I like this Skeeter Davis version too but I chose Neil Diamond since he's well known among Poopheads. Notice the way he sings, he's just sitting on a steps, so different than what you would see nowadays, he'd need pyrotechnics and dancing girls.
But focus on the lyrics. It's about trying to understand things (clouds, love, life) and looking at it from both sides, and realizing you still don't understand it. I fancy myself as quite the thinker but some things in life are just beyond comprehension. This song is about those things. I hope you will listen and enjoy and use the comments section to call me a homo if you are so inclined.
The song was originally written by Joni Mitchell. Then Judy Collins recorded it and made it a big hit. It's been covered 20-something times. I like this Skeeter Davis version too but I chose Neil Diamond since he's well known among Poopheads. Notice the way he sings, he's just sitting on a steps, so different than what you would see nowadays, he'd need pyrotechnics and dancing girls.
But focus on the lyrics. It's about trying to understand things (clouds, love, life) and looking at it from both sides, and realizing you still don't understand it. I fancy myself as quite the thinker but some things in life are just beyond comprehension. This song is about those things. I hope you will listen and enjoy and use the comments section to call me a homo if you are so inclined.
The World is a Strange Place
I don't believe in coincidences; everything in the universe is related. But some things blow my freakin mind.
When I checked last year's posts this morning I noticed a post about my shirt. And I wore that shirt yesterday, the Tuesday after Christmas two years in a row.
But today I am wearing a blue sweater. When I looked in my drawer for a napkin I discovered my old ID, which has a picture of me...wearing this same blue sweater.
Now check out the titles of the posts about two SNL skits, Lazy Sunday (which I didn't think was funny) and Dick in a Box (which I thought was hysterical).
When I checked last year's posts this morning I noticed a post about my shirt. And I wore that shirt yesterday, the Tuesday after Christmas two years in a row.
But today I am wearing a blue sweater. When I looked in my drawer for a napkin I discovered my old ID, which has a picture of me...wearing this same blue sweater.
Now check out the titles of the posts about two SNL skits, Lazy Sunday (which I didn't think was funny) and Dick in a Box (which I thought was hysterical).
Christmas 2006
We recently enjoyed a very nice Christmas weekend in Connecticut. Diesel was well behaved (other than inadvertently dragging his tail in the cocktail sauce) and did not knock over the tree.
We had fun baking cookies (Mrs. Poop baked, Diesal and I ate). We used special dog cookie cutters for some of them (notice the bones and fire hydrants).
Diesel got some treats in his stocking. I got some candy.
Dennis got a picture frame for his office with three pictures (The Poops on a mountain, Diesel trying to lick my ear and Diesel ocean). I got a portable DVD player which I am supposed to share with Mrs. Poop. I had to drive hom from Connecticut so she could watch "You, Me and Dupree."
Diesel poses nicely for a family photograph.
We had fun baking cookies (Mrs. Poop baked, Diesal and I ate). We used special dog cookie cutters for some of them (notice the bones and fire hydrants).
Diesel got some treats in his stocking. I got some candy.
Dennis got a picture frame for his office with three pictures (The Poops on a mountain, Diesel trying to lick my ear and Diesel ocean). I got a portable DVD player which I am supposed to share with Mrs. Poop. I had to drive hom from Connecticut so she could watch "You, Me and Dupree."
Diesel poses nicely for a family photograph.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
The Fast Bris
I don't usually promote web videos but this one is kind of funny and probably hits home for many Poopheads.
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