What Happened to Lark Voorhies?

The former Saved by the Bell sweetheart has seen better days. Even Screech wouldn't hit that now. Her face looks puffy now, and not just from weight gain but possibly from cheek injections. She is 38, but looks more like 50.

Story Suggested By Razor

Don't Be Like Mike, Rest When You Have the Flu

Gatorade does not cure the flu. Just wanted to make sure you knew that, especially if you have seen the latest Gatorade commercial. It shows Michael Jordan during the famous “Flu Game” in 1997. The ad shows him looking sick, drinking Gatorade (or something from a Gatorade cup) and then dribbling and hitting shots. All the while, Phil Jackson talking about Michael Jordan’s will to win. The Public Health Advocacy Institute wants the Federal Trade Commission to pull the ad because it “openly promotes engaging in vigorous physical activity while suffering a very high fever.” It wants Pepsi to come out with new advertising to promote the government recommendation that people with the flu should stay home and rest. Because this ad sends a terrible message to teens that they should play through injuries and win at all costs.

Song of the Week

"I'll Always Love My Mama" - The Intruders
You may recognize this sample from "Get Involved" by Raphael Saadiq and Q-Tip.
Happy Mother's Day Mom.

Quick Questions

1) If you have sex in Denver does that mean you joined the Mile High Club?

2) I left three dollars bills in my pants when they went in the wash. Is that technically money laundering?

3) I think Kate Upton is hot in this picture of her wearing a suit and tie. Does that make me gay?

Let Me Upgrade You

The last two times the UFC came to New Jersey (still not regulated in New York) I tried to get tickets but the upper level (affordable tickets) had sold out in the presales, before they went on to the public.
So when I heard UFC on Fox 3 was coming to the IZOD Center I didn't even feel like wasting my time. But then the morning they went on sale I decided to e-mail TON and see if he wanted to go. He e-mailed me back 19 minutes late and said “do it!” So I did.
But we had horrible seats. $65 buys a seat in row 21 (of about 24) in a corner section of the upper level. We sat there for most of the undercard (we arrived early, wanting to get our money’s worth). And right before the main card was set to begin I heard someone say “you guys want to move down?” I thought it was the guy next to us talking to his friend, but it was actually an usher passing out a stack of tickets.
You may remember a similar thing happened to us when we went to see Kimbo Slice fight in Elite XC. But that time they made an announcement asking people to move down, and people dashed down the steps. This time the usher was much more selective. People a couple rows ahead of us were not given the upgrade. We were quite literally in the right place at the right time.
Our new seats were in the back of the lower level as opposed to the back of the upper.

In our new digs we were right in the middle of the action, we saw Tim Boetsch walking down the aisle (an being heckled by a loudmouth behind us. Clay Guida was walking into the tunnel to our left. Joseph Benavidez was in the luxury box behind us. And after the fights (we stayed for all the post-fight interviews, and to see Diaz walk out) we ran into Jon Fitch who was incredibly gracious, taking pictures with anyone who asked.

We also saw an unusual number of women dressed like they were going to meet their future husband. Fancy dresses, high heels, hair did, lots of makeup. I guess they just wanted the attention. But they were totally outshone by the girls at the Harley-Davidson booth.

But on to the fights:

Not much to say about the undercard. John Dodson fought Tim Elliot in a very entertaining flyweight fight. Both guys are very athletic and tried some crazy moves. But it wasn’t a great fight. Dodson won a decision and did his backflip.
Louis Gadinot (the one with the green hair) was also pretty exciting. He got a standing guillotine and was able to get the tap with just a few seconds left in the round.
While TON and I were talking between fights I had mentioned that I noticed an unpleasant trend in MMA lately. The sport seemed to have progressed to a point where fighters are so good at picking their spots and counter-punching, that the aggressiveness has gone out of the sport. I truly believe that someone with the same talent and fighting style as Chuck Liddell used when he was a champion, wouldn’t make it in the UFC today. You can’t just wing crazy punches, you will get knocked out.
Pat Barry is the perfect example of this. I love the guy, he is one of the most exciting fighters ever and a joy to watch. He is the practitioner of vicious leg kicks (we could hear them make contact from our new seats). But he is now 3-5 in his last 8 fights. And in 3 of those losses (Crocop, Congo and Lavar Johnson) he had a major advantage, but instead of playing it safe, he kept up the aggressiveness and got caught. Against Johnson he actually had a takedown, and a full mount, and almost a mounted crucifix. He lost that position and when the fight returned to its feet, Johnson unloaded on him, hitting him with at least 15 strikes before knocking him down, at which point the ref jumped in and saved Barry.
Maybe TON and I were among the few UFC aficionados in our new section because when some loudmouth yelled out “watch for the heel hook” 1 second into the Whosimmar PaulHarris – Alan Belcher fight, we were the only two people laughing. Belcher almost paid the price for ignoring that advice. He willingly got himself into a crazy grappling match with a guy known for breaking limbs. It was quite a technical ground battle, very enjoyable to watch. But in the arena you have to look at the monitors for most of the ground fighting, impossible to see whether chokes are sunk in, and other positioning nuances, when the fighters are on top of each other and obscured by the ref, the cameraman and or the Octagon posts. Belcher slithered his way out of PaulHarris’s grip and delivered some of the most devastating ground n pound I’ve ever seen. Real, clean, hard shots right to the face.

In case you couldn’t hear it at home, the crowd was chanting “Fuck You Koscheck” during his fight against Johnny Hendricks. I hate Josh Koscheck too and really wanted to see him get his ass beat. He lost in a mostly boring split decision. Right after the fight I had thought he won but on watching it again I can see why the judges scored it as they did. Koscheck won the first round clearly. Hendricks didn’t do too much in round 2, but Koscheck did nothing, zero. He didn’t lead out once the entire fight. Several times the crowd booed as the two fighters played patty-cake instead of throwing punches. So Hendricks won round 2 by default. In round 3 Hendricks came and landed some good combinations, but he got taken down with 2 minutes left. Normally that is the kiss of death as far as judge’s scoring goes. But Kos did so little damage while on top, it was almost a win for Hendricks. And that’s what it became.
The main event was another good versus evil matchup as the crowd was solidly behind hometown boy (“he’s from Whippany”) Jim Miller instead of mental defective Nate Diaz. Diaz dominated round 1 and toyed with Miller in round 2, mocking him and urging him to punch. And finally he cracked Miller, got his back and choked him out. We did not know this in the arena at the time but Miller lost his mouthpiece and was getting choked with his tongue out of his mouth. Joe Rogan said he was being forced to bite off his own tongue.
That was about the only thing we missed by being in the arena. Even though you can see the fight much better on TV, the in-arena atmosphere was awesome and I would love to go again next time the UFC comes to town. Though I doubt we’ll ever get so many good fights and the same good seats.