Idol Chatter

Welcome to the final edition of Idol Chatter for Season 5. For the most part I enjoyed the show and didn't think it was as overproduced and contrived as I thought it would be. The "Golden Idols" were definitely contrived but it was a creative way to look back at some of the better moments of the season, particularly the Brokenote Cowboys. On to the show.

I loved getting another look at the O'Donoghue sisters, but having hosts at these hometown parties was completely unnecessary since they only went to them once, for about 15 seconds. Tamyra Gray was the other one. She was so skinny she looks like crackwhore Whitney. Remember when, I think it was last season, they sent Matt Rogers and Latoya London to these things? They were both wasted and Matt Rogers was hitting on the Governor's wife. That was awesome.

I did enjoy the kids with gray hair. Everyone needs a prematurely gray role model.

I really enjoyed the concept of having the idols sing with established singers. Paris and Al Jarreau were great together. "We're in This Love Together" is one of my favorite songs ever. I didn't particularly like that arrangement (what was up with that scat in the middle?) but it was nice to hear. Looked like Al Jarreau was having a nerve problem in his hand, like what would happen to Bob Dole if he didn't carry that pen.

"It's like a quiet night and candlelight
and ooooooooh, it's so romantic
we got the whole thing working out just right
and it's juuuuust the way we planned it.
We're in this love together."

Sorry about that.

Meat Loaf was really strange. He was singing all shaky and stuff, and him and Katharine were sort of acting out the lyrics. Way too dramatic. Plus he was unshaven and overweight and he looked like a creepy old man checking out Katharine's boobs.

Speaking of Katharine's boobs the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Her mom was showing off some decolletage as well. A little too sexy maybe for a woman who's probably pushing 50, but whatever makes Mr. McPhee cry.

Puck N Pickler was the most contrived and stupidest part of the evening. I'm convinced Kellie does this on purpose to create an image. Then she wondered out loud if wearing glasses would make people take her seriously. Honey, not acting like a fool would help. But I must say this, if you ever look at the cover of those girlie magazines and see them talking about sexy hair, if you are a guy you never understood how hair could be sexy, until you saw Kellie Pickler's new haircut.



I really enjoyed Elliott and Mary's duet of "One." I pretty much enjoy anything Mary does. She is such a great singer and really can perform as well. Elliott could learn a thing or two from her in that regard. She didn't seem to be buying into the whole duet thing until the very end.



As opposed to Toni Braxton who tried to get Taylor to feel her up. She seemed like she had split some pills with Paula backstage. I know she likes to sing deep and sultry but it sounded as if she was only singing every third word.

Chris and Live sucked.

Kevin Covais singing "what's new pussycat" was the gayest thing I've ever seen.

Until David Hasselhoff cried.

I must agree with Pizza Parlor Derek when he says Big Boobs McGhee is hot. She looked great, in the black outfit and in the sexy red dress. Kate was trying to count the 6 female contestants...Katharine, Kellie, Mandisa, Paris, Lisa and...Big Boobs McGhee.

Prince sucked. He was the only star that didn't sing with an idol. That leads me to believe that rumors I had heard about the show trying to get him as the guest one week, truly were torpedoed by his unwillingness to coach the contestants.

Unfortunately, the show was so produced that they barely had time to announce Taylor as the winner and to let him bask in the glory. I do think he is the worst Idol winner ever and that he won't have a long career and sell a lot of CDs because what people like about him (dancing and energy) won't come through on a CD or on the radio.

Mets 7 Marlins 4

A nice easy victory today which was nice. Mets got some timely hitting early and great pitching from Glavine.

Glavine has been so good this year it's hard to believe. And he has been striking out so many hitters (9 today). He is completely different that his first years with the Mets. He is no longer afraid to throw strikes and he is no longer afraid that his team won't score any runs for him. The only drama was did he have the stuff and the stamina for a perfect game. I was listening on the radio and the announcers say it after every batter. It's so annoying. Let the guy pitch, don't trample all over by continually pointing it out.

Great game for David Wright, batting cleanup.

Ramon Castro is close to supplanting Duaner Sanchez as my favorite Met. I love Castro and I think after this season he is a free agent and will make some team very happy as an everyday (4-5 day a week) catcher.

Early in the season the Mets bench was a worry, but Endy Chavez has come around, Jose Valentin shook off his early season troubles and Chris Woodward is very steady. But Julio Franco is a marvel. With those four guys and Castro I think the Mets bench is actually pretty strong.

I still would love to see Dontrelle Willis in a Mets uniform even though he's gotten off to a bad start this season. Honestly, he's pitched decently but got killed three times in a row which inflated his ERA. Perhaps on a better team he wouldn't have been left in those games so long. I also think he is trying too hard as evidenced by the error he made on a ball he never should have thrown. Lastings Milledge is still just a prospect, Willis is proven. Although I think the Marlins would want more than just Milledge for Willis.

Seth Cohen's College

When the O.C. returns this fall we believe that Seth Cohen will be matriculating at the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) pronounced riz-dee. This is the perfect school for him because in real life it's an art school with no real sports teams. They do however have an intramural hockey squad called the Nads. At Nads games students are encourage to cheer "Go nads!" And they have a mascot named Scrotie. I shit you not.

Footballers' Wives

In the United States, hot chicks marry a wide array of celebrities. You have hot chicks who date actors, musicians, NBA players, baseball players or even football players. Soccer plays come far down the food chain in the U.S. For instance the biggest star in U.S. soccer is Landon Donovan. He is dating actress Bianca Kajlich who is unquestionably hot, but also unquestionably second tier. In other countries, particularly the soccer crazed nations of Europe, the hottest chicks only date and marry soccer players, as evidenced by this Dutch website that comprised pictures of the hottest footballers' wives/girlfriends. Be warned, that page is safe, but links from that page contain some NSFW pictures of these lovely ladies.
I am told that all the players on the page are excellent and well-known in Europe, not bench warming schmoes living off the fat of the land. If Reissberg is still reading this blog, and still my friend, maybe he can confirm that.

Johnny Cakes TV

Justin and I were both major investors in a company called Triangle Multimedia which ran Q Television Network, a network devoted to LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered) programming. Together we owned about 1 million shares (of 350 billion outstanding). That's about a $400 investment I think. Now that company has gone belly up.

Tale of Greed and Avarice

Ben & Jerry's is introducing a new product called "The Cone." It's a prepackaged ice cream cone (comes in chocolate chip cookie dough and Cherry Garcia). If you've ever had a prepackaged cone you know the cone always gets soggy and tastes like shit. Thanks to new technology The Cone is filled with chocolate which separates the ice cream from the cone and keeps the cone crunchy.
So they are doing a generous and creative promotional plan (as they always do), giving away 50,000 cones the past few days in Manhattan and we decided to do the story and have our anchors eat ice cream on the set. As I've mentioned before, the more fun a segment is, the more work I have to do. So this was very time consuming to coordinate. It also was scheduled to air about an hour after the Turkey airport fire, creating other problems, but we pressed ahead. The segment worked out fine, I went to meet the guy and he told me he left 9 extras on the table. By the time I got there, they were already eaten by the show's crew, people who had nothing to do with the segment, including one fat fuck (at least 3 bills) who was stuffing his face and taunting me. So the Ben & Jerry's guy felt bad and promised to send more.
Yesterday afternoon Ben & Jerry's apparently called and asked to speak with someone on the show's staff. They were transferred to a friend of mine who sends out an e-mail to the entire staff of the show, hundreds of people at several different locations, saying ice cream will be here tomorrow (friday), delivered to Paul. That is what we in the hood call "putting you on blast."
So all morning, I'm getting messages and e-mails and questions from people about the ice cream. It gets so bad at one point that my reporter says "we need to go to management and demand that everyone get a $2 raise so they can buy their own fuckin ice cream." Finally, the ice cream comes, they bring 6 cases, 72 bars. So I hand deliver to the show staff (who actually deserve it) and the writers (who were secretly messaging someone else about it, and we both ended up bringing some to them) and by the time I get to my desk 90% of the cones are gone and my desk and the floor around it are strewn with garbage.
The cone was great, once I finally ate it, and I stashed one away for myself until Tuesday although I doubt it will survive that long.
That same fat fuck came over and took more ice cream by the way. But there were still about four cones left when seemingly everyone was offered.
Figure about 60 people got ice cream, most of them undeserving, some said thank you if I was there when they got a cone. Exactly three people messaged me to say thank you, fewer than those who messaged me to ask "where's the ice cream?"
I've always said free food tastes better but I would never comport myself like that. Disgusting.

Marlins 5 Mets 1

Absolutely horrible game. The Mets cannot afford to keep losing when Pedro pitches. They have lost his last four starts. In those game has has allowed 9 runs in 28 innings, a 2.89 ERA. The offense bailed him out in the first two, the bullpen (Wagner) deserted him last time against the Yankees and this time he got no help at all.

Once again the SUCKME factor reared its ugly head. SUCKME (Some Unknown Character Kills the Mets Everytime) is an internet theory that's been gaining steam. The Mets have now faced four rookie pitchers this season (Cain, O'Connor, Maholm & Johnson). Those pitchers are 3-1 with a 1.33 ERA in those four games. And Maholm gave up 1 run in 6 innings but the Mets won that game because Glavine pitched a shutout. And this doesn't even include Kyle Davies who beat the Mets twice.

Duaner Sanchez imploded again. He is still my favorite Met but falling fast. He made errors in that horrible inning, although he was only charged with one.

Pedro's breaking pitches were awesome tonight. His curve had so much movement on it. But he always gives up a home run it seems, and even though he had only thrown about 80 pitches I think he automatically tires in the 7th inning. I think he's been pitching 7 and only 7 for so long that his body can't give him anymore than that.

The rest of the team stunk on toast today. Kaz Matsui needs to be put down. Not sent down, put down. Anderson Hernandez wasn't hitting much worse than this, and he would have made that play at first on that bunt.

They've gotta stop bringing Ralph Kiner into the booth for these games.

Mets must beat Dontrelle tomorrow. And then hopefully he'll say "if you can't beat em join em" and ask to be traded to the Mets.

As Seen on CNN

Hasbro has canceled plans to produce a line of fashion dolls modeled on the pop act the Pussycat Dolls after parents objected to the group's racy image.
The move, announced yesterday, comes about a month after Hasbro announced the line as part of a deal with Interscope Records, the label that released the debut CD of the Pussycat Dolls.
After starting as a burlesque-inspired dance troupe in Los Angeles, the Pussycat Dolls emerged as a recording act. They have since had a series of hit songs with risqué lyrics.
Hasbro saw the Dolls series as a line that would fit in with — and compete against — the Bratz fashion dolls from MGA Entertainment. But an advocacy group, Dads and Daughters, recently mounted a letter-writing campaign pressing the company to shelve the Dolls line.
Hasbro said in a statement this week that "Interscope's current creative direction and images for the recording group are focused on a much older target than we had anticipated at the time of our original discussions," and that the toy line had become "inappropriate for Hasbro."

As Seen on CNN

Here is the script of a CNN story about immigrants in Dalton, Georgia. Smist used to live in this town, and do a more menial job than any of the immigrants.

"LIKE SO MANY IMMIGRANTS...

QUICK NATS: Miguel with baby?

MIGUEL AND LETICIA QUINONES LEFT MEXICO FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM.

THEY FOUND IT... IN DALTON, GEORGIA.

SOT: Miguel Quinones/
Alina: How has Dalton treated you?
Miguel: Perfect, good, I like it.

THEY WERE DRAWN TO DALTON BY JOBS IN THE CARPET INDUSTRY...

QUICK NATS: carpet mill

KNOWN AS "THE CARPET CAPITAL OF THE WORLD"...

("Welcome to Dalton" sign)
DALTON WELCOMES IMMIGRAnTs.

MOST OF THE WORKERS IN THE MILLS ARE LATINO..

(show spanish business signs)
THE SIGNS OF CHANGE HERE... ARE EVERYWHERE.

STANDUP: Alina Cho/Dalton, Ga
"The racial shift in Dalton has been dramatic. Between 1990 and 2000, the city's demographic changed, from 80 percent white to 40 percent latino.
Up from 6% latino in the early nineties......

Today, it's possible, latinos outnumber whites, but it's impossible to know because so many of them are here illegally."

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS... LIKE THE QUINONES FAMILY...

who CROSSED THE BORDER SIX YEARS AGO.

SOT: Leticia Quinones/Illegal Immigrant
NATS: "Por que cruce..."
"Why did I cross, I crossed because you can make a better living here."

HERE... MIGUEL AND LETICIA COLLECTIVELY EARN 700 DOLLARS A WEEK... FAR MORE THAN THEY WOULD IN THEIR NATIVE MEXICO.

IN DALTON... THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO FAR TO FIND THE COMFORTS OF HOME...

NAT---Class

AND A GOOD EDUCATION FOR THEIR CHILDREN.

DALTON HAS AN INTERNATIONAL ACADEMY... WHERE KIDS COME TO LEARN ENGLISH BEFORE MOVING ON TO MAINSTREAM SCHOOLS.

100 PERCENT OF INCOMING STUDENTS, GRADES 4 THROUGH 12, ARE LATINO.

DALTON MAYOR RAY ELROD SAYS THE CITY HAS A RESPONSIBILITY TO EDUCATE ALL CHILDREN... REGARDLESS OF IMMIGRATION STATUS.

HE CALLS THE LATINO RESIDENTS... GOOD NEIGHBORS.

SOT: Ray Elrod/Dalton Mayor
"God fearing, hard working, and they are beginning to be community minded."

DALTON -- A CITY OF 30-THOUSAND -- HAS 300 LATINO-OWNED BUSINESSES.

20 YEARS AGO, THERE WERE 2.

A DECADE AGO... FOOTBALL WAS THE SPORT OF CHOICE...

TODAY...

QUICK NATS: soccer field

IT'S SOCCER.

THERE'S A SPANISH RADIO STATION...

QUICK NATS:

AND TWO SPANISH-LANGUAGE NEWSPAPERS.

BUT NOT EVERYONE IS EMBRACING THE CHANGE...

RON CHASTAIN... WHO'S LIVED IN DALTON HIS ENTIRE LIFE... SAYS THE LATINO COMMUNITY HAS BROUGHT NOTHING BUT GANGS AND GRAFFITI...

HE SAYS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE STEALING JOBS...

SOT: Ron Chastain/
"If you're new and desperate in this country, you're going to work for whatever amount."

THE MAYOR SAYS THERE ARE ENOUGH JOBS FOR EVERYONE --

DALTON'S UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS AMONG THE LOWEST IN THE STATE...

THE CARPET COMPANIES SAY THEY MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO VERIFY LEGAL STATUS...

BUT ADMIT... THERE ARE UNDOCUMENTED WORKERS IN THE MILLS.

NATS:
"We are the world..."

IN THE SCHOOLS...

THERE'S A FEELING OF UNITY.

AND IN THE QUINONES HOME... MIGUEL AND LETICIA WORRY ABOUT BEING DEPORTED... they WANT TO BEcome U-S CITIZENS.

THERE IS ONE U-S CITIZEN IN THE FAMILY ALREADY...

2-YEAR-OLD ALESSANDRA WAS BORN HERE.

ANOTHER WAY... THIS SLEEPY MILL TOWN... IS TURNING INTO A MELTING POT.

ALINA CHO, CNN, DALTON, GEORGIA.

Great News for One Paul's Poop Reader

New drug may hold promise for stutterers: trial
BOSTON (Reuters) - When Dr. Gerald Maguire was a child, he resolved every New Year's eve to stop stuttering. The resolution usually lasted less than two hours.
Now Maguire is helping investigate an experimental new drug that he believes could offer hope to the more than 3 million Americans who suffer from the speech disorder.
The drug, pagoclone, is being developed by Indevus Pharmaceuticals Inc. Results of a 132-patient trial released on Wednesday showed that 55 percent of patients taking pagoclone showed a significant improvement in symptoms compared to 36 percent who took a placebo.
Maguire, who is an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of California Irvine School of Medicine, said pagoclone, if approved, would be the first drug specifically designed to treat stuttering.
Today, patients are either not treated, or are treated with drugs that are not approved for the disorder such as the benzodiazepine class of anti-anxiety drugs or antipsychotics such as Zyprexa and Risperdal.
Maguire believes pagoclone may help stutterers without causing the kind of dependence linked to benzodiazepines or the weight gain often associated with the newer antipsychotics.
Pagoclone is designed to heighten activity of the brain chemical GABA, which is thought in turn to block the chemical dopamine. Dopamine, which is responsible for motion and movement, is often too high in people who stutter, Maguire said.
"Stuttering is a neurological disorder that has psychological consequences," he said.
For four years, Maguire did not talk on the phone, as his anxiety overwhelmed his ability to speak. He said the antipsychotic Zyprexa helps.
The disorder, which affects about 1 percent of the adult population, normally begins in childhood. About half of children who develop it grow out of it.
That could be because an area of the brain called the striatum, which acts as the timer and initiator of speech, does not fully develop until later in life. Pagoclone is designed to enhance the functioning of the striatum, Maguire said.
The drug, which was tested in patients for eight weeks, was not associated with any serious complications, Indevus said.

Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday to the tallest, darkest, handsomest reader of Paul's Poop, the former tallest, darkest, handsomest man on the SU campus, the tallest, darkest handsomest man at his new job and the man who enabled me to save the now famous Northwestern hazing pictures. Of course I am referring to Justin, who turns 28 today.

In lieu of flowers, cards or cake, Justin asks that you send pictures of hot Asian women.

Now They Need to Come Up With Floo Powder

Scientists ponder invisibility cloak
Imagine an invisibility cloak that works just like the one Harry Potter inherited from his father.
Researchers in England and the United States think they know how to do that. They are laying out the blueprint and calling for help in developing the exotic materials needed to build a cloak.
The keys are special manmade materials, unlike any in nature or the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. These materials are intended to steer light and other forms of electromagnetic radiation around an object, rendering it as invisible as something tucked into a hole in space.
"Is it science fiction? Well, it's theory and that already is not science fiction. It's theoretically possible to do all these Harry Potter things, but what's standing in the way is our engineering capabilities," said John Pendry, a physicist at the Imperial College London.
Details of the study, which Pendry co-wrote, appear in Thursday's online edition of the journal Science.
Scientists not involved in the work said it presents a solid case for making invisibility an attainable goal.
"This is very interesting science and a very interesting idea and it is supported on a great mathematical and physical basis," said Nader Engheta, a professor of electrical and systems engineering at the University of Pennsylvania. Engheta has done his own work on invisibility using novel materials called metamaterials.
Pendry and his co-authors also propose using metamaterials because they can be tuned to bend electromagnetic radiation — radio waves and visible light, for example — in any direction.
A cloak made of those materials, with a structure designed down to the submicroscopic scale, would neither reflect light nor cast a shadow.
Instead, like a river streaming around a smooth boulder, light and all other forms of electromagnetic radiation would strike the cloak and simply flow around it, continuing on as if it never bumped up against an obstacle. That would give an onlooker the apparent ability to peer right through the cloak, with everything tucked inside concealed from view.
"Yes, you could actually make someone invisible as long as someone wears a cloak made of this material," said Patanjali Parimi, a Northeastern University physicist and design engineer at Chelton Microwave Corp. in Bolton, Mass. Parimi was not involved in the research.
Such a cloak does not exist, but early versions that could mask microwaves and other forms of electromagnetic radiation could be as close as 18 months away, Pendry said. He said the study was "an invitation to come and play with these new ideas."
"We will have a cloak after not too long," he said.
The Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency supported the research, given the obvious military applications of such stealthy technology.
While Harry Potter could wear his cloak to skulk around Hogwarts, a real-world version probably would not be something just to be thrown on, Pendry said.
"To be realistic, it's going to be fairly thick. Cloak is a misnomer. 'Shield' might be more appropriate," he said.

Mike's Lookalikes

Some Friends

Shawn's Worst Nightmare

House panel backs Internet gambling limits
A House panel voted Thursday to crack down on the $12 billion Internet gambling industry by applying federal prohibitions to games like online poker, blackjack and roulette.
The legislation would amend the 1961 Federal Wire Wager Act to explicitly prohibit online gambling. It also would outlaw electronic transmission of funds to pay for gambling bets, give law enforcement agencies authority to block such money transfers, and increase penalties for violation of the law.
Although the Justice Department has taken the position that the Wire Act already prohibits online gambling in the U.S., there is disagreement about that. Most of as many as 2,300 online gambling sites in existence are overseas.


I still can't find explicitly what will happen to poker sites like partypoker.net. But I do know that this bill would include poker, whereas in other instances poker has avoided being lumped in with games like blackjack and roulette because it is a game of skill, and not a game of chance.

I Made Deadspin Again

This time my post about Cole Hamels and hot Heidi got me a mention on Deadspin. The last Deadspin mentioned netted me almost 1000 hits that day, about 8-10 times normal traffic. But that's nothing compared to the 2,401 hits I got today.

Your Local Public Library

Watch this video. Please. I beg you. Watch this video. I know it's four minutes and the audio synch is off, but please, watch it anyway. Then e-mail EZE about it, so he'll watch.

Mets Rotation

This weekend the Mets will send Pedro, Glavine and El Duque to the mound against the Marlins. Dontrelle Willis will oppose Glavine on Saturday. The two of them faced off in a good pitcher's duel earlier this season.
Evidently Minaya felt that El Duque and Soler weren't enough to solve the pitching problems so he traded for Dave Williams who sucked for the Reds. Unlike El Duque Williams has a 12.79 ERA on the road this year. Maybe Rick Peterson can fix him.
If El Duque and Soler pitch well, what will the Mets do when Bannister comes back?

Phillies 5 Mets 3

So the Mets had a brief 6-game homestand against their two closest rivals (this season) and went 4-2. Not bad. The Jeremi Gonzalez era is over. Gonzalez and Lima each had three starts and the Mets went 1-5 in those 6 games.

Gonzalez got off to a terrible start, very similar to what Soler did. In the first inning of Gonzalez' last two starts he allowed 7 runs. Abreu and Howard obviously touched him for home runs, but he settled down and pitched ok after that.

Jose Reyes hit a huge 3-run homer to get the Mets back in the game. But every time he homers, I get a little worried.

Pedro Feliciano is starting to show some cracks. He allowed the inherited runner to score on Saturday (although I know that game was completely Wagner's fault) and he gave up the home run to Burrell yesterday.

Chase Utley is awesome.

Kaz Matsui is back to being awful again. In the second inning he got up with runners on first and third and none out. Myers started him off with two balls, and you thought maybe the Mets were gonna get to him. He then struck out Matsui on a pitch in the dirt. In the 8th with first and second and two outs he tapped out to the pitcher. He's batting .143 this season with runners in scoring position. He did however make a great play to turn two in a big spot in the 7th inning.

Mike and the Mad Dog did a pretty good job. Mad Dog did most of the play-by-play and did pretty well on those two early home run calls. They didn't openly root against the Mets. Mike was providing good color but still in his pompous fashion. As commentators they were a little more harsh and a little more absolute than most broadcasters. For instance, on the double play turned by Matsui, he said it saved the game. Probably accurate but Howie Rose probably would have said it prevented a big inning, or more runs from scoring. They were trying to broadcast the game as Mike and the Mad Dog so there was more commentary and general discussion than there normally would be, including as aside into the Yankees-red Sox series. They talked a lot, which is typical for them, but also a sign of inexperience. They were overdescriptive in some spots, (checking the signs, the delivery, the pitch...) but overall they were better than I expected. There were a few blips, Mike said first place instead of first base on a close play at the bag, Mad Dog called Scott Podsednik Puzdenik during the scoreboard, but it was an enjoyable broadcast.

Katharine's Clothes

The many outfit changes of Katharine McPhee on finale night

Let Em Rot in Jail

Former Enron crooks Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling have been on multiple counts. Lay was found guilty on all counts, including those in the separate bank fraud trial. Skilling faced many more counts than Lay and was actually not guilty on some of those. More details to follow but it appears these jokers are going away for a long time. But I'm sure they'll appeal.

Get Well Soon

Thousands of well-wishers have sent gifts and cards and carrots and apples to Barbaro. He doesn't yet have a computer in his stall but you can still send him a get well message and it will be passed on to him.

Chad Johnson's New Haircut

Uneducated Guess

I took at stab at picking Katharine as the winner of Idol, and of course as you know by now, I was wrong.
I haven't seen the whole show, so the final Idol Chatter of the season will posted when I do watch it.
I did get a positive review of Big Boobs McGhee from Pizza Parlor Derek.

Programming Note

There will be no running blog of this afternoon's Mets-Phillies game. I want to be able to listen to the Mike and the Mad Dog radio broadcast and that will not be possible if I am constantly pausing the TV to run upstairs to make posts. Not sure how many of you will be disappointed by this but last Thursday traffic was very strong, likely driven, at least in part by the running blog of the Mets-Cardinals game.

Mets 5 Philles 4

This is the 5th straight one run game the Mets have played in, winning four of five including the last three. And believe it or not this was actually the least exciting one of the bunch.

Where do I begin with Alay Soler? I have never seen a guy start off a career in worse fashion than Soler. He was completely unable to throw a strike in the first inning. He walked the first three guys then Burrell (Met killer) got a single. I thought he settled down when he got a ground ball for a double play, but Woodward let it go right through his legs. Did that play remind anyone else of Tim Teufel in Game 1 of the 1986 World Series? But after that Soler was pretty good. He didn't allow any more runs and didn't have any more major problems with control. Has the potential to be a good fifth start if he is in fact here to stay.

Love the Mets comeback ability. And comebacks don't always happen in the late innings, more often than not they start as soon as you get down. David Wright has been on a huge power surge lately. His third straight game with a home run, plus he got the game winning RBI on a single for the second time in five games.

Beltran is awesome.

Speaking of awesome, what made the 1986 Mets so great was that everyone was contributing. Woodward and Valentin contributed key RBI last night as well. And Franco had a big hit the night before.

Heilman once again showed why he is too valuable in the bullpen. Feliciano is also excellent and Wagner mowed down his former team.

I didn't hear it but apparently Gary Cohen made a funny joke about Soler (a Cuban defector) being apprehensive about pitching to Castro.

Omar Minaya was in the booth for an inning. He didn't really say much just said that El Duque's stats this year might be misleading because they are great on the road and horrible at home. He is a flyball pitcher and should thrive in Shea's bigger dimensions.

Mets Trade

The Jorge Julio era is over. The Mets have traded Julio to the Arizona Diamondbacks for Orlando Hernandez aka El Duque. El Duque has been pretty bad so far this year with a 2-4 record and a 6.11 ERA. But he might help fill the hole in the starting rotation. I'm sure Aaron Heilman is furious about this. I think El Duque is about 50 and I don't know if he can be effective for a long period of time but I'm at least glad that Minaya isn't married to his Julio mistake and is basically admitted that trading Anna Benson was a bad idea.

What a Schmuck

Does Rony Seikaly really think he can do better than Elsa Benitez?

The heat is on in the pending divorce of former Miami Heat center Rony Seikaly and supermodel Elsa Benitez.

She filed an ''urgent'' motion requesting ''temporary, exclusive use and occupancy'' of their Miami Beach home and temporary custody of their daughter Mila, 3.

Benitez says he has been ''provoking fights,'' sometimes in front of Mila. ``[She] is

fearful that [he] will become violent,'' her motion says. And, he goes ''for days'' without coming home or seeing Mila -- and has a ''new girlfriend,'' she says. His ''inappropriate behavior'' has made her and Mila's ``living situation intolerable.''

Says Seikaly: ''Ridiculous allegations. This is all lawyer stuff. We have a good relationship.'' As for the ''girlfriend,'' he says, ``I have a lot of girl friends.''






I could go on but I'll leave further exploring up to each of you individually.

The Finale

In addition to the obvious cast of characters and the other top 12 Idol finalists (Pizza Parlor Derek can get one more look at Big Boobs McGhee) the following people are expected to attend tonight's American Idol finale.

FOX Talent
DeeDee Davis (The Bernie Mac Show)
Camille Winbush (The Bernie Mac Show)
Emily Deschanel (Bones)
David Boreanaz (Bones)
Pamela S. Adlon (King of The Hill)
Mimi Rogers (The Loop)
Al Jean (The Simpsons)
Cat Deely (So You Think You Can Dance)
Joely Fisher (‘Til Death)
Kat Foster (‘Til Death)

American Idol Fans (expected to attend)
Jennifer Love Hewitt (Ghost Whisper)
Cameryn Manheim
Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives)
Brian Wilson (Beach Boys)
Adrian Grenier (Entourage)
Shannon Elizabeth
Lynn Toler (Divorce Court)

Idol Chatter

Another season of Idol is almost over. Another Idol will be crowned, have one hit CD and fade from public consciousness. But we love it. And I can't wait for tonight's finale. But more on that later, first we focus on last night's final performances.

Some were criticizing that dress saying it accentuated some of her negatives, but I think it accentuated her bedunkadunk.

Other than that this really was a boring episode. We heard four songs we'd heard before. For Katharine that "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" song sucks, and "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is boring to listen to, even when sung well.

Taylor's first two songs were ok but nothing special.

The first singles sucked. Both songs were horrible, but I would have to agree that Taylor was better.

I liked Kellie Pickler's sexy new haircut.

I liked that they identified Tori Spelling as one of Katharine's friends, although I think it might have been a mistake.

The best part of the show was the performance of "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. That's what I like, one man, one voice and one piano. Especially in contrast to the overdone Idol songs. Do they really need to bring out a choir?

So it comes down to this: McPheever vs. Soul Patrol. If I hear Taylor say Soul Patrol one more time I think I'm going to scream.

I understand that smart money is on Taylor to win this thing. But I think back to a story I heard about Jimmy the Greek. He got his start in gambling by correctly predicting the winner of the 1948 Presidential election. Everyone thought Dewey was going to win (even the newspapers printed "Dewey Defeats Truman") but he predicted that Truman would win because people wouldn't vote for a President with a moustache. Truman obviously won and we've still never had a President with a moustache.

So I look at these two contestants and I see a hot girl with a big ass (and some other big parts) against a 30 year old guy with gray hair. One seems like the American Idol and the other doesn't. So I will predict that Katharine will win in a mild upset. If she does you all have to read "Blink" to learn more about the way our minds work.

Something For the Honeez

Because this blog usually focuses on men's issues I thought I'd flip the script and do one for the ladies. It's time Paul's Poop became a forum for an open and frank discussion of menstruation. Believe it or not many women are using birth control to skip their periods altogether. This may seem like good news to the guys who won't have to deal with PMS or a week off from sex.


Using birth-control pills or other contraceptives to block periods is gaining popularity, particularly among young women, doctors say.

"I have a ton of young girls in college who are doing this," said Dr. Mindy Wiser-Estin, a gynecologist in Little Silver. "There's no reason you need a period."

Stephanie Sardinha, 22, hasn't had a period since she was 17. A college student in Lisbon Falls, Maine, Sardinha uses NuvaRing, a vaginal contraceptive ring. After the hormones run out in three weeks, she replaces the ring right away instead of following instructions to leave it out for a week to allow menstruation.

Such medical jury-rigging soon will be unnecessary. Already, the Seasonale birth-control pill limits periods to four a year. The first continuous-use birth-control pill, Lybrel, likely will soon be on the U.S. market, and drug companies are lining up other ways to limit or eliminate the period.

Sardinha says elimination of her periods has been great for her marriage, preventing monthly crankiness and improving her sex life.

"I would never go back," said Sardinha, who got the idea from her aunt, a nurse practitioner.

Most doctors say they don't think suppressing menstruation is riskier than regular long-term birth-control use, and one survey found a majority have prescribed contraception to prevent periods. Women have been using the pill for nearly half a century without significant problems, but some doctors want more research on long-term use.

Findings in surveys

The new methods should be popular among menstruating women. A non-scientific Web survey for the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals found at least two-thirds of the respondents are bothered by fatigue, heavy bleeding, "really bad cramps" and even anger. Nearly half said they would like to have no period at all or decide when to have one.

Two recent national surveys found about 1 in 5 women have used oral contraceptives to stop or skip their period.

Phuture Phillies Phenom

Phillies up and comer Cole Hamels will not make his scheduled start today against the Mets because he felt a couple of pops in his throwing shoulder while playing long toss in the outfield yesterday. More interesting about Hamels is the fact that he is dating Survivor hottie Heidi Strobel. You may remember her as the chick who agreed to get naked for some peanut butter on the show. After the show she agreed to get naked with her survivor buddy, Jenna, for some cold hard cash from Playboy.

You can either enjoy these pictures or enjoy a couple of NOT SAFE FOR WORK photos of Heidi hiding in the bushes or maybe you'd like to see Heidi amongst some rocks or Heidi with her hair slicked back.

Mets 9 Phillies 8

This is the type of game that makes me angry that I have to go to sleep before these games end.

What an amazing victory.

Steve Trachsel sucked. He looked afraid to throw strikes. Can't say I blame him though, the Phillies lineup 1-5 is pretty freakin good.

Two plays in this game proved my theory about the thin line between success and failure, especially in baseball.

Endy Chavez' throw home was in plenty of time to nail Burrell for the third out to keep the score 2-2. But LoDuca dropped the ball and the next batter (David Bell) hit a 3-run homer.

Then in the 8th inning Endy Chavez got an infield single out of what should have been the third out when Ryan Franklin dropped the ball. Woodward doubled, Reyes homered and the game was tied at 8.

That Reyes homer (below) was a thing of beauty. He couldn't have done any better with a pitching wedge. And in the 12th inning he almost won the game with another home run. I hope he doesn't start swinging for the fences though.

Carlos Beltran found his smile last night. I haven't seen him that happy since joining the Mets. He has been on fire power-wise since returning from injury and he's definitely made his peace with the Mets fans. I hope he will have a long and successful career with this team. He already is 75% of the way to his home run total for all of last year.

Wright and Floyd also get credit for big home runs in this game.

Heilman didn't pitch great but the Mets are sort of proving that a strong bullpen is more important than anything else. This game and Friday's game against the Yankees were battles of attrition in which the Mets bullpen triumphed.

Today the Mets start Alay Soler with little or no bullpen help. It's weird they brought him up so early. As Michael pointed out they should have waited until today and could have had another reliever on the roster for yesterday's game.

Canine Commander

You may have read postings on this blog from "Derek." This is not the Pizza Parlor Derek that many of you know and love. It is Georgia Derek who happened upon Paul's Poop (nee News U Can't Use) and has stuck around through the months and has become a loyal and valued reader. Georgia Derek (as we call him) has a dog. This dog can type.

Hello Governor!

Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey who admitted to being "a gay American" now details a lot of his lifestyle before the admission in a new book.
Before he became governor of New Jersey, he'd have anonymous gay sex at Garden State highway rest stops.
"The closet starves a man, and when he gets a chance he gorges till it sickens him."
He tried to conquer or hide his homosexuality by ogling Playboy centerfolds, frequenting strip clubs and becoming "as avid a womanizer as anybody else on the New Jersey political scene."
McGreevey does not admit to telling a lie so long that he didn't know it was safe.

Fight of the Century

Unusual sparring partners Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger got into a brawl the other night.

Tommy Hilfiger pummeled Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose in a dispute over a VIP table at Rosario Dawson's birthday party, sources said.
Axl moved Hilfiger's girlfriend's drink in the banquette area of The Plumm nightclub.
A densely packed crowd of celebs - including Lenny Kravitz and Kid Rock - had ringside seats to the battle.
Hilfiger was acting all gangsta, hitting Axl with a flurry of punches, one that landed under Rose's eye.
"First [Axl and Tommy] were sitting. Then they were pulling on each other . . . It got so out of control," said a shocked witness.
As the punch-up escalated, Hilfiger introduced Rose to some "November Pain" with a blow to the cheek. Club guards quickly tried to separate the men.
"A bunch of security ran over - but Tommy would not back down. He was just out to take him down," the witness said.

A Great Marriage

Hillary Clinton is preparing herself to run for President in 2008. Her husband, former President Bill Clinton says his number priority is not to cause her any trouble. The couple is so busy and they love each other so little, that they barely see each other.
According to the New York Times, since the start of 2005, the Clintons have been together about 14 days a month on average, according to aides who reviewed the couple's schedules. Sometimes it is a full day of relaxing at home in Chappaqua; sometimes it is meeting up late at night. At their busiest, they saw each other on a single day, Valentine's Day, in February 2005 — a month when each was traveling a great deal. Last August, they saw each other at some point on 24 out of 31 days. Out of the last 73 weekends, they spent 51 together. The aides declined to provide the Clintons' private schedule.
Aides say the two want as much private time together as possible; last fall, for instance, Mr. Clinton left Manhattan for home to squeeze in a few hours with Mrs. Clinton before turning around for a flight out of Newark. Mr. Clinton has told his staff that he would rather not be in Washington when his wife is not there, aides said.
Friends — eager to smooth any rough edges on the relationship — tell old-married-couple stories of them gardening, playing Scrabble, and dining out at Le Cirque, Rasika, and Bayou in Harlem with old pals like the former party leader Terry McAuliffe, the power broker Vernon Jordan and others. On Christmas Eve, they wandered through the near-empty Chappaqua Village Market together, noticed by the occasional fellow shopper.

Not On My Team

Which players in major league baseball would you never want on your favorite team? My list is short:

Barry Bonds - cheater

Roger Clemens - asshole, headhunter

Alex Rodriguez - choker

Met or Yankee?

In your enduring memory will you consider the following players to be a Met or a Yankee?

Dwight Gooden

Darryl Strawberry

David Cone

Al Leiter

We Witnessed Something Special

The Pistons beat the Cavs, embarrassingly ended a great playoff run for LeBron James. But this was the first building block in what is going to be a great career. As much as I want Melo to someday be remembered as the better player LeBron took a huge leap past him this postseason. He carried a mediocre team to within one game of eliminating the Pistons. He had a great first half of game 7, but he couldn't do anything against the Pistons' doubleteams in the second. LeBron will get there but he could also use a better supporting cast. He made 11 shots, the rest of his team made only 9, leading the worst game 7 performance ever.
Larry Hughes who tragically lost his brother (not the gay one) during the series is not enough help. The Cavs were 0-4 with him, 3-0 without him against Detroit.