Diver and a Marathoner

The Brazilian synchronized diving pair of Ingrid Oliveira and Giovanna Pedroso finished dead last in their Olympic competition.
A possible reason: the night before the competition, Oliveira is said to have had a "marathon sex session" with canoeist Pedro Goncalves.
And to do so, she kicked Pedroso, who is only 17, out of the room they shared.
Needless to say, the two will no longer be diving together.

It wasn't the first time Oliveira has gotten in trouble. When she posted this picture last year, Brazilian officials said she's more interested in posting pictures of her behind on the internet than she is in diving.

No word on whether Goncalves will continue to dive, and marathon, with Oliveira.

The Best Method of Birth Control

Dr. J often had no problem scoring against the toughest defenders in NBA history so it should be no surprise that he had no problem scoring on a proverbial open net.
In the late 1970s Dr J. met Samantha Stevenson, “a smart single woman — a pretty white girl, a bit of a hippie giving off a vibe of availability”, who was covering the 76ers for Sport Magazine.
She became a great friend to Dr. J. According to his new book "Dr. J", when he felt stressed or high-strung he would drive over to her place and she would suck his dick to help him relax. ("I can drive over and spend a relaxing evening that might even include oral sex."
But one night Stevenson got braces and couldn't blow Dr. J. So instead they had sex.
According to the book, that was the only time they ever had intercourse.
And 9 months later along came a baby.
And 19 years after that, Alexandra Stevenson made the semifinals at Wimbledon.
And 9 years after that, Dr. J met his illegitimate daughter for the first time.

Good Advertising

Getting caught in a prostitution sting is never a good thing, just ask Greg Raymer.
But Browns linebacker Quentin Groves may be able to make the best of a bad situation.
Groves responded to an internet ad requesting "full service" from an undercover cop posing as a hooker.
Groves showed up at Room 231 of the Homestead Guest Studios with 190 dollars and a box of Magnum condoms. Magnums!
That might help him get some chicks. But there's also this, verbatim from the police report: "He agreed to one hour of time for 100.00 and was told that anal would be an additional 20.00." That might turn off the ladies.
Groves was with the Cardinals last year and signed with the Browns in the offseason for 2 years and $2.8M (another turn-on for the ladies).

Albert Haynesworth Uses the "I Don't Even Like Black Girls" Defense

Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is fat, lazy, surly, overpaid and evidently his opinion of himself is just as inflated as his fat ass.

On February 12th, Haynesworth was at a private birthday party at the P.O.V. Roof Terrace and Lounge at the W Hotel in Washington DC.

As the party was ending Haynesworth called over the waitress to pay his bill. She came over but was holding dirty dishes. She told him to wait until she put them down but he insisted on paying immediately.

So he put the debit card in one place he knew she could carry it, her bra. She says he then grabbed and fondled her breast even though she told him to stop.

Witnesses said Haynesworth said to her “I’m just going to put my card right here.” She allegedly nodded in approval, but told him to take his hand off her breast.

Maybe she was ok with him sliding it in there, but not with him touching her boob. Not sure what she was thinking. But she must have been upset, because when his card was declined, she sent another employee over to his table to get an alternate payment.

Haynesworth says he did nothing wrong and he will not accept a plea deal. This is his defense:

“I know what this is about. She is just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me. I don’t even like black girls."

What's The Point of Playing College Basketball at BYU?

BYU forward Brandon Davies was kicked off the team for a violation of the school's honor code.
Davies's transgression: he had sex with his girlfriend.
In addition to turning the entire campus into a champagne room, students are also told to be honest, so he had an attack of conscience and admitted to his intercourse.
Not only did the selfish prick fuck his girlfriend, he fucked Jimmer Fredette too. Without Davies, the team's leading rebounder, the Cougars lost to New Mexico, one game after beating San Diego State for the second time this year.
Next year Davies will likely transfer to another school (Arizona State?) where he can get all the pussy he wants and not feel badly about it in the morning.
But you mean to tell me Jimmer Fredette is scoring 40 points and not scoring after the games?
I don't believe that for a second, I just think he does it without the pangs of guilt.

Steve Phillips Has a Birthmark Above His Penis

And also one on his inner thigh.

The former Mets GM who screwed Mets fans for years is now screwing Production Assistants at his new job calling games for ESPN.

During a road trip to St. Louis Phillips who is 46 slept with a 22-year-old PA named Brooke Hundley.



Phillips says he fucked her three times in total, and when he decided to break it off with her that's when things went crazy.

Hundley would call his house, she even showed up and backed her car into a stone wall while fleeing his wife. She stalked Phillips son on Facebook pretending to be his high school classmate.

Hundley sent this letter to Phillips's wife, telling her about their affair, their sexually explicit text messages and his desire to leave her.

As a means of proof she closed the letter with this: "Steve has a big birthmark on his crotch right above his penis and one on his left inner thigh, so you know I'm not being fake."


Phillips has done this before, banging a team employee while he was running the Mets.

Last time, his wife stood by him, this time Mrs. Phillips is filing for divorce. I hope she takes everything he's got, leaving him with nothing but a birthmark above his penis.

How Does Tim Tebow Resist This Temptation?

Under normal circumstances it would be good to be Tim Tebow. The guy is not only a ladies' man, but he's also a man's man. He's tough as nails, has two national titles and a Heisman Trophy and one of the greatest speeches of all time.

Only problem is, this guy claims to be a virgin. He comes from an ultra-conservative Christian family, and says yes in fact he is a virgin.
I can't believe a college kid could resist when girls who look like this are wearing t-shirts that say "fuck me, Tim Tebow."



I mean, could he really walk away from a girl with tits like these without fucking her? I don't think so.

More Lascivious Details About the 86 Mets

If you didn't get enough in "The Bad Guys Won" you can get even more dirt about the best team in the history of baseball in a new book by Darryl Strawberry.

In "Straw: Finding My Way," due out in April, Darryl describes the 86 Mets:

"We were the boys of summer. The drunk, speed-freak, sneaking-a-smoke boys of summer...[An] infamous rolling frat party . . . drinking, drugs, fights, gambling, groupies."

Beer "was the foundation of our alcoholic lifestyle," he writes. "We hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales. The beer was just to get the party started and maybe take the edge off the speed and coke."

The team's mantra on the road, he writes, was to "tear up your best bars and nightclubs and take your finest women...The only hard part for us was choosing which hottie to take back to your hotel room. Lots of times you...picked two or three."

Although he doesn't name names, Strawberry relates how team members picked out girls from the stands for quickies. He once watched a pitcher march a frisky fan to a private room for oral sex: "I was jealous. When I saw her heading back to her seat, I gave her a sign. She smiled, turned right back around, and met me in that same little room...I had to be quick and run back out on the field."

SCZA wants to know how its possible for a guy to have a quickie between innings. I think it's possible if he made the last out of the previous inning, he has about 2 minutes between innings, plus the whole time his team is up (maybe he asks the guys to take some pitches or step out), that should give him a total of 8 to 10 minutes which should be more than enough. Obviously a starting pitcher on his off day and a DH or even a bench player, are the best candidates to receive in game blow jobs, but I think a position player could make it work.

All He Wanted Was a "Blow Job"

Charles Barkley got arrested for DUI in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Pretty routine stuff and I wasn't even planning to post about it until I read the police report.
Barkley was driving his black Infiniti SUV when an officer parked around the corner (sneaky bastard) saw him roll through a stop sign at 10 miles an hour (what a stickler!).
As the cop pulled out to get behind Barkley, a female got into Barkley's car.
The cop pulled him over, said Barkley smelled of alcohol and looked like he had been drinking. Barkley admitted to drinking, telling the cop he didn't want to give him a "bullshit answer."
After field sobriety tests, Barkley refused the breathalyzer saying his bodyguard advised him not to take one. The cop arrested him, brought him in, had the car towed and impounded the handgun that was later found in the car.
Pretty routine, until back at the station Barkley starts talking.
He told the cop he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl. He asked the cop to admit the girl was hot.
Then he said "I was going to drive around the corner and get a blow job."
He told the cop that girl gave him a "blow job" a week ago and it was the best one he ever had.

Note: the quotes around blow job are taken directly from the report. I guess that's viewed as slang or street lingo by the police.

Barkley tried to bribe a PD employee by saying "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he could get out of this. Then he corrected himself, saying "I'll tattoo your name on my ass."



Now I can't fault the man for his pursuit of a blow job, especially if it was that good, but driving drunk is never the answer.

Also, considering how Barkley is the most self-righteous person on earth right now who basically makes his living criticizing everything everyone else does and says, he's got to be embarrassed by this incident.

How Did a Nice Jewish Boy Get Tangled Up In This?

The greatest Jewish player in Mets history, Art Shamsky is getting dragged through the mud by his bitter ex-wife.
Kim Shamsky claims Art gave her a sexually transmitted disease after cheating on her with both men and women.
In her lawsuit, Kim Shamsky says that during their 13-year marriage Art "engaged in acts of adultery with both men and women." And these escapades included "acts of 'unprotected' sex and deviate sexual intercourse"
Kim says she was informed by her doctor she had contracted the human papilloma virus (HPV).
The suit claims Shamsky continued to have sex with her although he "knew that an individual or individuals with whom he had engaged in sexual relations had contracted HPV or that he had contracted HPV."
Kim, who says she suffered "serious physiological and emotional injury," is asking for $11 million in damages.
Art's lawyer, Pat Crispo, dismissed the entire lawsuit as "frivolous" and insisted Shamsky is free of sexual disease. "This is the act of a very angry ex-wife who has maligned him in the press."
Shamsky played for the Mets from 1968 to 1971 and batted .300 in 1969 when he platooned with Ron Swoboda.

I Couldn't Resist

I know this came out about three weeks ago and a lot of you have probably seen it, but I'm sure there are some of you who haven't.
I originally decided not to post the story about Swedish hockey player Jan Huokko because it was so lascivious and it happened overseas where so much crazy shit happens, but I changed my mind because the story is just too damn good.
Fans of AIK pelted the ice with dildos to taunt Leksand's defenseman Huokko.



This was all in reference to a sex tape Huokko recorded on his cell phone that got leaked out on the internet. In the tape Huokko can be seen with a dildo in his mouth, and in his ass.
WARNING!!!!!!!!!!! Link is very not safe for work.

Top Sports Sex Scandals

Newsday runs down their top 6 sex scandals in the world of sports.

1. Kobe Bryant accused of rape
2. Marv Albert's kinky sex life
3. Stephon Marbury's truck party
4. Wade Boggs's 10 year affair
5. Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich swap wives
6. The Gold Club

Honorable mention: James Worthy's hiring of two prostitutes, Falcons free safety Eugene Robinson's arrest for solicitation the night before Super Bowl XXXIII, Dennis Eckersley's returning from spring training in the 1970s to find that teammate Rick Manning had stolen his wife.

For full details read the article, but I think Marbury's truck party was a New York bias. And the scandal that I would rank number 1, didn't even make their list, the Minnesota Vikings Sex boat.

Could You Play Australian Rules Football?

After several incidents in which players acted inappropriately towards women, the Australian Football League released a DVD to guide players on how to deal with various scenarios and boost their respect for the opposite sex.
Here are some sample questions from the DVD:

* You are called by a mate's girlfriend into her bedroom because she thinks you are her boyfriend. Do you:

a - Go and hop into bed and pretend to be him.

b - Walk away.

* You are with a girl who has had too much to drink. Do you:

a - Get her some water.

b - Call her a taxi.

c - Take her back to your place for sex.


* A mate and his girlfriend are having sex. Do you:

a - Watch.

b - Not watch.

Quite obviously the answers are A, C and A.
I'm moving to Australia.

No Wonder They Were 4-8 This Year

Three North Carolina Tar Heels football players (names withheld) were sexually assaulted by two women. You may ask how can this happen, I'll tell you how.

The players were out drinking and they met these two women, Tnika Washington and Monique Taylor and their male friend, Michael Lewis. All six of them went back to the players' apartment. The victims say they were getting a ride, Lewis says the players wanted to pay for kinky sex.




One player passed out drunk, the other two started fucking these women. At some point the players say they wanted to stop having sex, and the women then tied them up, beat them and fondled them. I think the plan was for the women to tie them up and fuck them, while Lewis stole their shit.

One of the players was able to call police and by the time the cops arrived Lewis had take their wallets and some entertainment equipment, and two of the players were in their boxer shorts with their hands tied.

I think the most embarrassing part of this story for the football players is the pictures of the two women.

Changing Her Story

The Madison Square Garden intern who fucked Stephon Marbury in the back of his truck outside a strip club testified in the Isiah Thomas sexual harrassment trial.
Kathleen Decker says she wasn't forced to fuck Marbury, and that she wasn't drunk when she did it. She also admitted to fucking Marbury's cousin, Hassan Gonsalves, which makes her sound like a slut.
She also backed off saying she felt forced to fuck Marbury, saying she actually felt forced to tell Anucha Browne Sanders about the backseat banging.
That runs contrary to the thank you card she sent to Sanders after she got bopped in the backseat, in which she called the incident a mistake and thanked Sanders for being supportive.
A few weeks after Marbury stuck his key in her ignition, Decker was made a full time employee of the Knicks. And a few weeks before she testified in this case, she was given a promotion at the Garden.

Here's a couple pictures of Kathleen Decker:

Slutty Rangers Dancer

The story of former Rangers City Skater Courtney Prince keeps getting more interesting. She claims she was sexually harassed by a Rangers executive who approached her at a bar and tried to talk her into a 3some. The Rangers say "she suffered from bipolar disorder, a classic symptom of which is hypersexuality."
Prince pretended to simulate sex on the ice during one practice and regularly coached skaters to appear more "fuckable." She also grabbed other skaters' breasts and used explicit terms to describe their anatomy.
She said that we needed to make the audience feel like they want to be in your pants. She told skaters they had to look less like a "mom" or a "housewife" and coached them on how to enhance their God-given attributes.

"Play up your chest at the game... wear a good bra, you can even pad it a bit if you feel the need."

I Was Right About Duke Lacrosse

I've been saying for a long time that in every story there's his side, her side and the truth. And it now seems that in the Duke Lacrosse case the truth is a lot closer to his side than her side.

What most likely happened that night is that the black strippers show up at the house. The players were pissed. They made racist remarks including thanking one of the girl's grandfather for his cotton shirt. Other things were probably said and done and the girl cried rape.

That set off a shitstorm, but everything that's happened since then has proven that a rape never occurred. Now the boys are finally going to be let off the hook, legally at least.

"Defense sources in the Duke lacrosse sexual assault case say they "expect" charges against the men will be dropped by the North Carolina Attorney General's Office.
The developments came as at least one of the former players, Reid Seligman, arrived in Raleigh Tuesday amid local media reports that a major announcement in the case was imminent. Two others charged in the case were also expected to arrive in North Carolina.
The attorney general's office has not tipped its hand regarding the charges, but has told local media that interviews related to the case have been completed.
Seligman, David Evans and Collin Finnerty were charged with first-degree kidnapping and first-degree sexual after an escort-service dancer accused them of raping her at a team party in March of last year.
The allegations of rape, which sparked controversy in the Raleigh-Durham area and quickly moved into the national spotlight, were made last year when a woman hired to perform at a party as a dancer accused the students of raping her.
The woman initially said the three raped her in a bathroom, but the rape charges were dropped in December after she told prosecutors she could no longer testify that she had been penetrated with a penis, one of the defining factors of rape under North Carolina law. In addition, two DNA tests have found no match between any of the three men and their 28-year-old accuser."

Little Sisters Are So Cute

Pizza Parlor Keri-Ann, little sister to Pizza Parlor Derek and Pizza Parlor Daren evidently has a lot to learn about the birds and the bees.




I'm also awaiting comment from PPKA on Kelly Pickler, whom she loves, and how Pickler spent her new found riches. Hint: it was on more than just shoes.

How Did This Happen?

Indianapolis is in a uproar over a story that two 6th graders had sex (supposedly intercourse, not the catch-all "sex acts") in a classroom while a teacher was present.
It was some kind of shop class that was shaped like an "L" and one student acted as the lookout/created a diversion while as many as 10 kids watched one 11 or 12 year old kid nail another.
The bigger problem is that the school felt no need to report the incident. It didn't come out til four months later.
Their defense? It only lasted 30 seconds?
How long did they expect him to be able to last?

The 12 year old boy who still lives inside me wants to say "how come I couldn't bang someone in wood shop in I.S. 72."
But the nearly 30 year old man who is about to have a child thinks "what the fuck is wrong with kids these days?"

Brady Has Strong Swimmers

According to Boston.com, sourcing a Brazilian website, Tom Brady's boys have done it again. Giselle Bundchen is pregnant. That makes two bitches the Golden Boy has knocked up in the past four months. He leads me by one, but I'll catch up.