Dick Stockton is Ron Burgundy

Longtime NFL announcer Dick Stockton made a bit of a gaffe during the Rams-Jaguars game.



I am not entirely sure what happened here, I actually doubt he was a teleprompter in the booth, more likely a piece of paper, which makes it even sillier to not just read those words, but to not realize he'd made a mistake.

I'm Veronica Corningstone.

Bill Belichick Loves Caroling

A lot is made of the Bill Belichick personality and his obnoxious non-answers at press conferences.
But there was one question he did answer explicitly and directly:



"Love caroling"

NFL Playoff Predictions

AFC
Raiders over Texans
Steelers over Dolphins

Steelers over Chiefs
Patriots over Raiders

Patriots over Steelers

NFC
Seahawks over Lions
Giants over Packers

Falcons over Seahawks
Giants over Cowboys

Giants over Falcons

Super Bowl
Patriots 21 Giants 16

The Reason Gifs Were Invented

Talent prima donna Odell Beckham Jr had a fit on the sidelines after Eli Manning didn't throw him the ball, and he attacked the field goal kicker's practice net. The net fought back.
I suppose it's much funnier if you are not a Giants fan.

Beckham played a great game and he was probably right than no one on the Redskins could cover him, not even his tormentor Josh Norman, and that Eli missed him a couple of times wide open.
It was a horrible game by both teams as they competed to see who could gift the game to the other. Thanks to two interceptions by Eli and a horrible penalty that negated a blocked punt, the Redskins hung on and salvaged their season.

2016 NFL Season Predictions

NFC East: Dallas Cowboys
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC West: Arizona Cardinals
NFC South: Carolina Panthers
NFC Wild Cards: Seattle Seahawks, Tampa Bay ExpensiveCornPrices
NFC Title Game: Packers over Panthers

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: Kansas City Chiefs
AFC Wild Cards: Baltimore Ravens, Oakland Raiders
AFC Title Game: Pittsburgh Steelers over Kansas City Chiefs

Super Bowl: Packers over Steelers

Offensive Player of the Year: Jameis Winston
Defensive Player of the Year: JJ Watt
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Dak Prescott
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Myles Jack
Coach of the Year: Jack Del Rio
Comeback Player of the Year: Jordy Nelson

They Are Who We Thought They Were

"If you wanna crown em, then crown their ass, but they are who we thought they were, and we let em off the hook."
"Thanks Coach."
Dennis Green died today at age 67, after a heart attack.

Johnny Manziel Beats Up Really Hot Chick

Johnny Manziel is accused of beating his gorgeous ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley, hitting her so hard he ruptured her eardrum.
According to the affidavit she filed to get a restraining order against him (she got it, he can't have contact with her for two years) they broke up in December but she agreed to sleep with him on January 29th of this year at his hotel in Dallas after a night of partying.

"Manziel and I made plans to meet up at Hotel ZaZa after my friends and I finished partying. We planned to spend the night together in his room there.
"Two of my friends and I drove my car to Hotel Zaza...The three of us went up to Manziel's room. After some discussion about further plans for the night my two friends left...I stayed there with Johnny Manziel.
"We started having a discussion about things I had heard earlier in the week about him being with a girl who had caused us problems in the past. I told him if I was going to spend the night it would be on the couch"

At this point she says he threw her on the bed and though he claimed it was playful she was scared and tried to leave. He wouldn't let her. Then he dragged her down the stairs to the valet.

"When we got to the valet, I was crying and begged the valet, "Please don't let him take me. I'm scared for my life." The valet replied, "I don't know what to do" and proceeded to let Manziel literally throw me in the front passenger seat of his car."

Poop's note: This valet is a fuckin moron. You don't know what to do? A woman is begging you to help her and you don't know what to do? Call the fuckin cops. Was this valet Mike McQueary?"

As he was pulling out she jumped out of the moving car, but he drove after and "he grabbed me by my hair and threw me back into the car and got back in himself. He hit me with his open hand on my left ear for jumping out of the car."

Eventually he drove back to her apartment, threatening to kill himself and maybe her as well.
A neighbor overheard the fight and intervened at which point Manziel ran away.

Pulverized

On their first play from scrimmage in their Wild Card round matchup with the Redskins, the Green Bay Packers got 11 yards. On their next 12 plays, the Packers lost four yards.
During that time the Redskins took an 11-0 lead. But it was the points they didn't score that told the story.
Desean Jackson holding the ball behind him, instead of in front, costing the Redskins 4 points

Then Dustin Hopkins missed an extra point, so what should have been 16-0 was only 11-0.

And then the Packers woke up. Their next five drives resulted in 4 touchdowns, 1 2-point conversion and a field goal for 32 points.

The difference was not momentum or any psychological mumbo-jumbo you might here, it was strategic. The Packers went no-huddle and the Redskins were ill-prepared to deal with it. Twice they were caught substituting, both times drawing penalties, but even worse, the second time resulted in a touchdown.

They were also picked apart physically as Rodgers was zipping the ball all over the field for short passes that set up easy first-down conversions.

Another fatal error was a crucial fumble by Kirk Cousins when the Redskins led 11-7 and were driving.

While the defense was crumbling the offense suddenly became unable to move the ball with its previous efficiency.

And the field position game the Redskins had dominated turned against them as well.

This was an unfortunate way for a surprisingly good season to end.

The Redskins had been picked to finish last in the division by pretty much everyone, with record projections consistently between 2-14 and 4-12.

To be honest, the Redskins weren't that good. They were slightly better than the competition, losing all four games they played against winning teams (Panthers, Patriots, Jets and including this one against the Packers).

I'm still not sold on Kirk Cousins as a great NFL QB but the Redskins certainly did better when they unleashed him later in the season after running on first and second down every series for the first 6 weeks (or so it seemed).

But the Redskins definitely have to give Cousins a big contract and bring him back. With a solid offensive line and a talented group of backs and receivers, especially emerging star Jordan Reed, maybe Cousins can continue to improve.

The defense needs a lot of help, especially the linebackers and defensive backs.

But it was a fun season thanks to the shocking performance of Kirk Cousins on the field (best QB in the NFL over final 10 weeks) and in the bowels of the stadium.



And also the hilarious rotundity of video-bombing defensive tackle Chris Baker.

And I like that!

NFL Playoff Predictions

I'm going nuts this year, picking both #6 seeds to make the Super Bowl.

AFC
Pittsburgh Steelers over Cincinnati Bengals
Houston Texans over Kansas City Chiefs

Pittsburgh Steelers over Denver Broncos
New England Patriots over Houston Texans

Pittsburgh Steelers over New England Patriots
NFC
Seattle Seahawks over Minnesota Vikings
Green Bay Packers over Washington Redskins

Seattle Seahawks over Carolina Panthers
Arizona Cardinals over Green Bay Packers

Seattle Seahawks over Arizona Cardinals

Super Bowl L
Seattle Seahawks over Pittsburgh Steelers

Where Was Michael Vick?

Pennsylvania authorities say Oakland Raiders linebacker Ray-Ray Armstrong did not act maliciously when he confronted a police dog just before the start of a Nov. 8 game in Pittsburgh against the Steelers.

Investigators had been trying to determine whether the player's conduct constituted taunting of a police dog, a third-degree felony.

The sheriff's office has said the player lifted his shirt, beat his chest and barked at the explosive-detecting dog before telling a deputy to release the animal, which she did not.

The sheriff and prosecutor have agreed that the player's behavior was not a malicious act but still created an unnecessary security risk. The dog had to be taken out of service after the incident.

2015 NFL Season Predictions

AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: Denver Broncos
AFC Wild Cards: Miami Dolphins, Baltimore Ravens

AFC Championship: Indianapolis over New England

NFC East: Philadelphia Eagles
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: Seattle Seahawks
NFC Wild Cards: St. Louis Rams, Minnesota Vikings

NFC Championship: Green Bay over Philadelphia

Super Bowl: Indianapolis over Green Bay

Off. Player of the Year: Andrew Luck
Def. Player of the Year: JJ Watt
Off. Rookie of the Year: Melvin Gordon
Def. Rookie of the Year: Randy Gregory
Coach of the Year: Mike Zimmer
Comeback Player of the Year: Sam bradford

Another Redskins Embarrassment

The city of Washington took a break from obsessing over the future of RGIII (at this point he has none) for some good old gossip.
Here's what happened, Jessica McCloughan, the wife of GM Scott McCloughan

sent a couple nasty messages to a local reporter, Dianna Russini, on Twitter.

She asked Russini how many blow jobs she gave to get a story

And she accused Russini of sleeping with her husband.

The Redskins made her apologize, which she did, but a family member said she has been long suspicious of an affair between her husband and Russini.

Another Hit To Personal Responsibility

The New England Patriots' balls were deflated in the AFC Championship game. It is almost certain that this was due to purposeful actions by members of organization. And it's hard to envision any scenario in which someone would do something like that without at the very least, being sure Tom Brady would want it that way.

The problem here with Roger Goodell is that he tried to make a statement. Instead of enforcing the penalties on the books for such an offense, he went way beyond what was collectively bargained (perhaps to dispel criticism that he is too hard on black players, perhaps because of negative publicity when he went with the defined punishment for Ray Rice) and a judge ruled he didn't have the authority to do so.

Yet somehow, Tom Brady is escaping this scot-free even though any sane person has to believe he at least "generally aware" of the plot to deflate the balls, and likely more involved in that.

Which once again reinforces the preferred attitude when doing something wrong: deny it, cover it up and when you get caught, blame the person who caught you for being overzealous. Worked for Bill Clinton.

I Thought He Was Drunk That Entire Season With the Redskins

Former NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb was arrested on DUI charges last month in Arizona after hitting another vehicle at a traffic light, according to a police statement released Tuesday.

McNabb was arrested just before midnight on June 28 by police in Gilbert, Arizona, after rear-ending the other car, which was stopped at the traffic light.

It marks the second time in less than two years that McNabb has been arrested on DUI charges.

The statement from the Gilbert police did not specify whether McNabb took a field sobriety test and did not state what his blood-alcohol level was.

Created By Robert Kraft

In our ongoing efforts to bring you all the Super Bowl news you need to know, from the ridiculous to the sublime (this is both), here is the theme song for the new ABC sitcom "Growing Pats."



What makes it even funnier is that my favorite Patriot, Julian Edelman was the OP (original poster) of this video.

Built In Excuse

The Patriots and Bill Belichick made a huge mistake in trying to shield responsibility and feigning ignorance about the current deflated balls scandal. All they should have said was the balls were inflated to the proper PSI and then Vince Wilfork tripped and fell on them.

I Got My Legos

Back by popular demand a 2015 version of Bad Lip Reading. Not as funny as the original but because I found it while it's still in the embryonic state og 301+ youtube views, I figure I would share and be early for once:

DeflateGate

First of all, adding -gate to every scandal has gotten tired. It should only be used if it involves a problem with an actual gate or with former Charlotte Hornet David Wingate.
Second of all, if the Patriots purposely deflated the ball to less than what it is supposed to be in an attempt to gain an advantage that is cheating. It doesn't matter if they would have won anyway, it doesn't matter if there was no real advantage. If they did something against the rules in the hopes of getting an advantage, that's cheating.
What should the punishment be?
They NFL will never, never, never, never, never, never, never (SOTW, 3/21/12) disqualify the Patriots from the Super Bowl and replace them with the Colts, or replay the game. That is never going to happen. And I think that is a little too severe.
I also think the NFL is going to purposely drag out this sham investigation until after the Super Bowl to alleviate any discussion of the matter.
But the league absolutely has to throw the book at the organization. $1m fine, a forfeited first round draft pick and a minimum of a 4-game suspension for Bill Belichick.
He was the mastermind of the biggest cheating scandal (such as it was) in recent NFL history with Spygate (damn!) and now this.
But if anyone deserves to lose to a cheater it's Pete Carroll who cheated his way through USC and then used the same blind eye to ignore rampant drug abuse (Adderrall) on the Seahawks.
These two scumbags deserve each other.
Whoever said "cheaters never win" was wrong.

It Was the Right Call

I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I hate Cowboys fans. I hate them when they are whining about calls. Especially when they got a favorable call just last week. And especially when the call they are griping about was absolutely correct. 

According to the rule book it is absolutely clear that Dez Bryant's catch was not a catch at all. 

Bryant did not make a "football move" or a move "common to the game" after catching the ball. He did not take a step or steady himself or juke a defender. He fell to the ground. And the rule states that you must retain control while falling to the ground. He clearly did not. The ball hit the ground and popped out. Period. End of story. Incomplete pass.

Now you may have a valid complaint if you don't like the rule but you can't intelligently claim it was misapplied in this case.  

And I think it is a good rule because we want to take as much gray area out of it as possible. Forcing receivers to keep possession as they fall to the ground makes it easier on officials to discern a completion. 

And though it didn't really work to quell controversy in this example I think it is the best way to avoid judgement calls by officials becoming the determining factor in big games. 

In fact I have said for years that the biggest threat to the NFL isn't concussions or wife-beating players, it's too many games being decided by penalties and rulings by officials. 

I think it ended the NBA's 90s revival when big games and championships were decided by questionable calls and clearly a fixed game (Kings-Lakers).

If this continues with the NFL where the playoffs are constantly shrouded in controversy and fans feel cheated it will lead to a decline in its popularity. 

NFL Playoff Predictions

AFC:
Ravens over Steelers
Colts over Bengals

Patriots over Ravens
Colts over Broncos

Patriots over Colts

NFC:
Panthers over Cardinals
Cowboys over Lions

Packers over Cowboys
Seahawks over Panthers

Packers over Seahawks

Super Bowl XLIX
Green Bay Packers 27 New England Patriots 21