Dick Stockton is Ron Burgundy

Longtime NFL announcer Dick Stockton made a bit of a gaffe during the Rams-Jaguars game.



I am not entirely sure what happened here, I actually doubt he was a teleprompter in the booth, more likely a piece of paper, which makes it even sillier to not just read those words, but to not realize he'd made a mistake.

I'm Veronica Corningstone.

Hilarious High Five

Jeremy Corbyn tries to high five someone, but she moves her hand.


Reminds me of this special moment from our wedding

Important News News

Scott Pelley is being replaced as anchor of the CBS Evening News. Anthony Mason will replace him on an interim basis until a permanent replacement is found.

Daniel Was The Real Bully

I have seen "The Karate Kid" many times, and like you, I always hate sympathy for Daniel LaRusso (played by Ralph Macchio) because I thought he was harassed, bullied and physically assaulted by the evil Johnny (Billy Zabka).
Turns out I had incredibly misinterpreted what really went on:



And they didn't even mention that Daniel kicked Johnny in the face, in clear violation of the rules of the tournament.

If you like looking differently at movies you thought you knew, check out this trailer for the Shining.

Best Post-Fight Interview Ever

Derrick Lewis delivered the best post-fight interview after his fight vs Travis Browne.
Lewis seemed to be seriously hurt by a body blow in the first round, and was holding his stomach in pain. But he came back in the second and knocked out Browne, leading to this interview with Brian Stann.



"I just gotta do number 2. It's not really hurt from the kicks, I gotta booboo."
"all the training and all the sex I been getting..."

And this clip edited out Lewis bringing up some old domestic violence accusations against Browne, punctuated with "where Ronda Rousey's fine ass at?" Browne is dating Ronda Rousey.

Bill Belichick Loves Caroling

A lot is made of the Bill Belichick personality and his obnoxious non-answers at press conferences.
But there was one question he did answer explicitly and directly:



"Love caroling"

Funny Basketball Videos

Russell Westbrook travels



Siena's coach does a phantom handshake line after Rider's coach and team don't show up



Carmelo Anthony lets Ron Baker's locker room nickname slip

Armed Robber Thwarted By Dildos

Two female employees at a sex shop fended off an armed robber by throwing dildos at him.

What Would You Do If a Kangaroo Had Your Dog in a Headlock?

A hunter in Australia saw that a kangaroo had a headlock on one of his dogs.



I totally agree with doing whatever you can to protect your pets, but I really don't think it was absolutely necessary for him to strike the kangaroo, at least not at that point. He clearly startled the 'roo who relinquished the hold. The man could have waited and seen what happened next before punching the kangaroo, more for his own safety more than his opponent's.

Good thing he wasn't facing Killer Willard.

Funny Baby Videos

This would be Julian and Lincoln:



This would be Mama Poop and Linclon:

The Most Dickish Thing I've Ever Done (But It Was Hilarious)

I recently went to Atlantic City for the PokerStars Festival, a series of tournaments meant to promote poker now that PokerStars offers online play in my home state.
Because Resorts, which partners with PokerStars, doesn't have a poker room, the tournaments were held in a ballroom. As I walked through the tables I saw some well-known players sitting amongst regular folks aka amateurs.
I also recognized a friend of mine, Andy, and on his direct right was Barry Greenstein, peacefully reading news articles on his iPad.
I noticed Andy, whom I had never met in person, only online, was wearing a tank top that said "If you're offended, I'll help you pack" and had a big American flag in the middle.

Turns out two other friends (I use the term loosely) paid him $100 each to wear the shirt the entire day. As I was being told this story, I was inches from Barry Greenstein who looked up at me, and then I said:

"Barry, they're paying him $200 to wear this shirt. How much are they paying you to wear that sweater?"

Luckily it was well-received and when I saw him sitting alone later (he remained at his table during a break) I went over and apologized and we had a good laugh. He took it very well. And then we briefly talked about politics. He couldn't have been nicer. And I couldn't have been more dickish.

Mets Sign Tim Tebow

The Mets signed Tim Tebow to a minor league contract in a completely irrelevant, inconsequential and strictly PR move.
He will never make the major league roster and it would be a shock if he was even good enough this year and in the Arizona Fall League, to get a spring training invite.
That is unless, of course, he gets help hitting a curveball.



"Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball.
Let's not start a holy war Harris."

Teammates

Louisville QB and early Heisman favorite Lamar Jackson, took a break from running around over and threw defenses to sit on the bench next to his teammate Traveon Samuel, creating the visual of "Samuel L. Jackson."
That joins some other great sets of teammates:

Short White Cox

Clark Griswold

Gay Cousins

Dingle Berry

I Guess We Weren't The Only Ones

As troublesome high school Spanish students, Reissberg, myself and others used to translate people's names from Spanish to English and vice versa.
We loved the 49ers dynamic passing duo, Esteban Joven a Jerry Arroz (Steve Young to Jerry Rice).
We delighted at soccer player Charles Blackmouth (Carlos Bocanegra).
And our favorite player ever was Seattle Mariners pitcher Joe Breadandwater (Jose Paniagua).
The tradition continues to this day as we lamented the season-ending injury to Vikings quarterback Teddy Puenteagua (Teddy Bridgewater).
Evidently, we are not alone, as another of our translations, this one for Cleveland Indians closer Jose Mesa, is actually listed as his nickname on his baseball reference page, and his Wikipedia entry.

I Read An Entire New York Times Article

Normally I don't read the New York Times because it's a liberal rag. And when I do I seldom make it through an entire article.
But today, I actually made it through the entire "tech tip," advice for a person asking "When I'm mistakenly put on an email chain, should I hit 'reply all' asking to be removed?"
Here's the answer:

Kudos to Daniel Victor, for publishing this important information.

Clubhouse Cutup

White Sox pitcher Chris Sale was supposed to start Saturday's game against the Detroit Tigers wearing those weird collared throwback jerseys the White Sox briefly wore during the 1970s.

Evidently, Sale doesn't like the collared jerseys and believes he has the right to say which uniforms the team wears on days he pitches. But because the jerseys were part of a promotional giveaway, the team refused to budge.

So while the rest of the team was out taking batting practice, Sale was in the clubhouse cutting the collars off, not only his own jersey, but everyone else's too.

With the jerseys destroyed, the White Sox scratched Chris Sale from the game, sent him home and replaced him with relief pitcher Matt Albers. And they were forced to play the game in different throwback uniforms, the 1980s style.

The whole situation is a bit absurd and it seems to be about a bigger issue involving the control over players exerted by management, dating back to this preseason's clash between the front office and Adam LaRoche. It seems like Chris Sale is just being a huge baby here, and of course, no matter what the issue, this is not the place to take a stand. But, there could certainly be a broader issue here that was lingering before this crazy circumstance, best summed up by this intrepid White Sox fan whose sign reads: "You're Right Chris, These Jerseys Are Uncomfortable."

Luckily There Was No Mayo Truck in the Vicinity

A truck carrying deli meat crashed into a bread truck on 287 in Piscataway, NJ, spilling the contests of both trucks onto the roadway.

Mrs. Poop's Favorite Hockey Player

Mrs. Poop's favorite hockey player used to be Hartford Whalers great Ron Francis, for whom she rooted (along with her French-Canadian grandmother), while wearing this jersey:

But now Mrs. Poop has a new favorite player:

Washington Capitals center, Jay Beagle.
She has ordered this jersey in 3 different child sizes.

Mrs. Poop once described herself as having been raised by beagles.

Congratulations On Your Car Crash

I don't know why this makes me laugh so hard but it does.
Watch what happens during this car accident in Toronto.

Next Year Have This Guy Sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl

I've had enough of these diva singers dragging out the National Anthem and costing all us fine people who pick the under.
Next year, I vote for John Moschitta Jr. to sing the anthem. Here he is singing the first part of Michael Jackson's "Bad" in 20 seconds.



You probably remember this guy from a bunch of commercials he did in the 1980s, I remember the ones for Micro Machines.