This Does Not Offend Me

Some well-meaning (I think) people set up a Coca-Cola display in a Wal-Mart store that called to mind the World Trade Center, with an American Flag in the background. Some people had a problem with it, saying it was distasteful to use such imagery in a commercial setting, especially since there was a sign indicating the price, right between the towers.

I truly believe the people behind that display meant it as a tribute and commemoration, not a crass attempt to profit off a tragedy.

However:



This doesn't really offend me either, but it's clear the idiots behind this mattress ad, thought they were being funny, especially because at the end they toppled their mattress "towers."

Not Doing Anything To Disprove the Stereotypes

Some Jewish women are protesting Nordstrom's zany Hanukkah sweater that says "chai maintenance" and "Hanukkah J.A.P." forcing the store to stop selling it.

With all the more important things going on in the world, shouldn't we stop being outraged over mostly accurate stereotypes?

The Christmas Spirit

WestJet Airlines decided to do something really nice for some of their passengers this holiday season. They set up a booth in the Toronto and Hamilton airports, and when their passengers checked in, they told Santa what they wanted for Christmas.
While the flights were in the air, WestJet employees went shopping and bought the presents that were requested, and when the passengers arrived in Calgary their gifts were on the conveyor belt.



Believe it or not some people are actually complaining about this video saying that this was all a publicity stunt by the airline, or that this just feeds into the naked consumerism that has overtaken the holiday.
If this video brought either one of those thoughts to your head, before it brought a smile to your face or a tear to your eye, then you are way more cynical, and much more in need of holiday spirit than the people at WestJet.

Even Redskins Fans Can Be Oversensitive Babies

In Virginia, vanity license plates are no additional charge, so many people tend to get them. Some moron is driving around with KLIQ920 plates. And another guy has an Audi with OWWWW-D tags.
One jerk, who is a Cowboys fan judging by the sticker on the back of his car, is riding around with F RG3 on his car. An oversensitive baby, and Redskins fan, took a picture of the offending plate and tweeted it to the Virginia DMV.
It's not offensive, it's funny, if you hate the Redskins, and if you do like the Redskins it's completely meaningless,. Lighten up Redskin fan.

The Wussification of Halloween

Halloween night, after trick-or-treating and inspecting the candy for apples with razor blades, millions of parents and kids will watch "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" on ABC. But not the wussy daddy blogger, Dad Camp, who says it's time to stop airing the Halloween classic. He says it is "no longer appropriate."
He says it has nothing of value for our kids. As if every TV show, movie and book needs to end with low music and an important life lesson delivered by Bob Saget.
In fact there are plenty of great lessons for children in "It's the Great Pumpkin."

1) Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker:

2) Always have important signed documents notarized

3) Keep your lips away from dog lips

In all seriousness, I do see his point. Were this show made today, parents would never show it to their kids, it no longer fits with our new standards and sensibilities.

The author says Charlie Brown is bullied, not just by the kids but the adults too.
I never saw the rock-getting as persecution, I thought it was just bad luck.

To me Charlie Brown is a poor unlucky schmoe, not someone who is picked on, after all, they are his friends, they tease him in good fun.

He even criticizes World War I Flying Ace the Red Baron (Snoopy) for all the war imagery. The Red Baron is a war hero. Does this guy shield his kids eyes when a man in uniform walks by, so he doesn't have to explain war to his precious angels?

Dadcamp says stupid and dumb are as bad as [fuck]. And maybe most new age parents would agree. But they're wrong. I think my main argument against his argument against "It's the Great Pumpkin" is: this is why we're raising a generation of wussies.

It's ok to expose our kids to "bad" words, and mistreatment of others. We can demonstrate how hurt Charlie Brown was by their words and actions, and teach them to be nicer and more inclusive. We can also show them how Charlie Brown handles the insults, he deals with it and moves on. He doesn't get depressed and cut his forearm. He remains hopeful that one day he will get invited to the parties, and that Lucy will let him kick the football. It's actually a good lesson.

But that's not why we watch the show with our kids every year.

The truth is we've spent too much money on Peanuts themed Halloween decor to turn back now.

Baby Mama Drama

Dr. Amy Dunbar, a St. Louis OBGYN is in trouble for posting this on her Facebook page.



I really don't blame Dr. Dunbar for posting this. If the patients truly has been this late, this often, then Dr. Dunbar is justifiably angry and venting her anger in what should be a safe place, her own Facebook page. Her mistake here was accepting a friend request from the person who shared this. Your Facebook friends should be people who don't want to see you hurt or embarrassed, not people who will take one comment they don't like and make it public to the world.
The patient is an asshole too. Yes you are paying the doctor for her time and service, but that doesn't mean she works for you, serving at your pleasure. I've occasionally seen people throwing fits in doctors' offices, being jerks, and I've always wondered why they don't tell that person to go find another doctor. I used to sit near this really nasty woman at my old job, and when her daughter had the sniffles she would call and berate (this same woman once spelled that word "barrade" in an e-mail) the staff. I wondered why people put up with this shit.
So maybe not doing that was Dr. Dunbar's second mistake. But I don't think she violated this patient's privacy. No one reading that post would have any idea who the patient is. Therefore her privacy is protected. Unless you hear about a woman whose OB showed up late to her delivery.

Pleasantly Plump News Personality

Before I offer my thoughts on the subject I want you all to watch this, even if you’ve seen it already, watch the entire thing. WKBT news anchor Jennifer Livingston got a viewer e-mail critical of her weight and here is her on-air response:




I disagree with her on several parts of this:
1) She chose this profession. It is a very superficial profession by nature. If she didn’t want to be judged largely based on her looks she should have chosen a different profession. And if she wanted to be on TV despite that, she should learn to ignore.
2) I thought the letter was fair and thoughtful. It didn’t call her a fat pig or a dumb bitch. It pointed out her visibility in the community and how she should be a better role model. If she were smoking cigarettes on air she’d get 100 letters like this. We’re going to create laws restricting what people eat but we can’t point out when people are overweight. That’s a little too much “love the sinner, hate the sin” for me. I’m a big personal responsibility guy we can’t expect people to have proper eating habits if we apologize for them when they get fat as the result of those bad habits.

Note: please don’t come at me with “maybe she has a medical condition.” There are very few medical conditions that make it impossible to be thin. Certain ailments or medications make people put on weight. But even so, it is possible to control your weight, maybe a little more difficult perhaps.

1) This guy was just being mean. He had no prayer of opening her eyes to healthy eating habits and an exercise regimen. He just wanted to be nasty and hurt her feelings. Not sure why that would give him any satisfaction but that’s why he did it.
2) I think she looks nice. She’s very pretty. She’s a little overweight, not obese on a fair standard and at her age probably not at risk for many obesity-related illnesses.
3) “If you are at home talking about the fat news lady, guess what? Your kids are going to go to school and call someone fat.” She’s right about that. Parents are the examples for kids. To teach them how to have healthy eating habits and to teach them how to treat those that don’t.

Can't Take a Compliment, Or a Joke

Women's groups are furious over this sign at the MarketFair Mall in New Jersey. The signs says "We apologize for the whistling construction workers, but man you look good. So will we soon, pardon our dust, dirt and other assorted inconveniences."




This offensive sign makes a joke of the horrible street crime of whistling at women. I don't understand it from personal experience but I suppose I can understand how being whistled at can be annoying perhaps even offensive.
But I don't see how making a joke about something upsetting is equally upsetting. Getting whistled at by construction workers is not assault, it's a nuisance. A sign about getting whistled at is none of those.

Did She Hurt Her Eyelashes Too?

Suzanne Pierce is suing the Phillie Phanatic. In 2010 she was sitting in a lounge chair at a hotel where she was to attend her sister's wedding. The Phillie Phanatic was performing there, unrelated to the wedding. During his comic routine he picked up Pierce, and her chair, and threw her into the pool.

According to the lawsuit, Pierce "suffered severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons and ligaments, nerves and tissues of her head, neck, back, arms and legs, including, but not limited to, a herniated L-5, S-1, aggravation and/or exacerbation of all known and unknown pre-existing medical conditions, internal injuries of an unknown nature..."

Oh is that all? I would normally have a lot of sympathy for Ms. Pierce. No one should be included in a comedy routine without their permission. And no one should ever be tossed, thrown or shoved into a pool without their consent. That could be a very dangerous activity.

But this is ridiculous. Damage to her muscles, tendons and ligaments? We get it, you're hurt. Pick the parts of your body that are hurt most, that you can prove were damaged and go with that. This Chicken Little medical report undermines her credibility.

The Riches of the Father

UCLA will be suiting up a new freshman cornerback this season, a kid named Justin Combs. If the last name sounds familiar it is because Justin is the son of Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P-Diddy aka Diddy aka Diddy Dirty Money. Combs will be attending UCLA on a football scholarship and this has some people upset. They don’t think the son of a guy with a net worth of half-a-billion dollars should be getting a free ride to attend school. Not when the state’s education system is broke. Not when so many underprivileged students can’t afford to attend UCLA.
The school says athletic scholarships are handed out based on merit, not need. If Combs is a good athlete and an adequate student (and he’s reportedly better than that) he earned this scholarship and he deserves it.
This is a big problem in this country right now, attacking the rich based on some misguided notion of what is fair.
Basically the argument goes like this: either it is unfair that one kid has a ridiculously rich father AND a football scholarship, or it’s unfair that a kid who earned a football scholarship should have to pay for college just because he can afford to.
It will be a real shame if this attitude pervades America so deeply that rich and successful people and their children are begrudged their wealth and success, even when they’ve clearly worked hard to earn what they have.
Justin Combs should go to UCLA, play hard, study hard and grow into a fine young man.
Sean Combs should count his money. And if he wants to give some of it to the school as a donation or to a needy kid for an education, that would be great. And if he doesn’t, then that’s fine too.

Cryin Wolf

There is real racism in this country. There are stereotypes that diminish groups and hurt feelings. Say black people like fried chicken is not one of them. Jewish people traditionally eat matzo ball soup. Italians enjoy pasta. Japanese people eat sushi. Black people eat soul food, including fried chicken and collard greens.
So why are people upset about this Burger King ad starring Mary J Blige.



Evidently to some this commercial reinforces the harmful stgereotypes that black people like to sing and dance and eat fried chicken. Blige says she thought the ad was going to be a dream sequence. Not sure how that would change it. And not sure why she agreed to sing those lyrics if they were so hurtful.

I Need These Pants

A British clothing company has come up with a very useful trousers (it's a British company) label as far as washing instructions. After going through the normal mumbo-jumbo the label goes on to say "Give It To Your Woman. It's Her Job."



As someone who sends this picture of a guy holding a "Iron My Shirt Bitch" sign at a women's rights rally (believe it's photoshopped) to Mrs. Poop every time my shirts need to be ironed, I can see the humor in this. I'm sure Mrs. Poop can too, but apparently many other women are quite angry about it. Oh well, gives me another chance to use the "oversensitive babies" tag.

The War on Christmas

There is a war going on outside, and none of us are safe. It’s the war on Christmas.
Here are the warring factions: On one side you have the people who don’t celebrate Christmas and are offended when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them. On the other side you have the people who do celebrate Christmas and get offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” to them.
Both sides are nuts. But they have gone so far that people in the middle are starting to get dragged into this and getting aggravated.

Acceptable: calling a school's concert the "Winter Show" or "Holiday Show."
Not acceptable: At the winter show, having the children perform a rousing rendition of "I'm dreaming of a white holiday."

Acceptable: a civic building having a display containing artifacts from several religions
Not acceptable: a civic building having a "holiday" tree

Here is what should happen: everyone should calm the fuck down. People should stop getting offended so easily. If you go to a store and the person at the door says "happy holidays" you should reply "Merry Christmas" if you are so inclined. If you are a Jewish/atheist/Muslim and someone says "Merry Christmas", smile and reply "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah" or "Joyous Kwanzaa" if you feel snarky.
If your child's school or town's municipal building has a display that only includes Christmas, kindly suggest a menorah be added.

This is a joyous time of year and we shouldn't ruin it by complaining that our particular religion doesn't get the attention it deserves.

This Billboard Offends Me

There's a new billboard on the West Side Highway that I find highly offensive.



It's an ad for a generically named vokda, Wodka. It shows two dogs, a chihuahua in a Santa hat and an Afghan in a yarmulke.

It says "Christmas Quality. Hanukkah Pricing."

That's an overt reference that Christmas is better than Hanukkah. But it's also a subtle reference that Jews are cheap.

I don't have a problem with any of that. What bothers me is the poor dogs dressed up.

Free Prostate Exam

Check out this goal celebration in the Iranian soccer league:



While I think this was an accidental grab and squeeze, you can tell the squeezee wasn't pleased, as he swatted the offending hand away.

Lest you think this was merely harmless, grabass hijinks, don't forget this took place in Iran. Both players, even the unwilling participant, are banned forever from Iranian soccer stadia because of "immoral behavior."

Nothing to Apologize For

Rob Gronkowski has nothing to be sorry about. The Patriots tight end was pictured with porn star BiBi Jones. She was wearing his jersey, he was not.



This created quite a fitrestorm and eventually led to Gronk apologizing to Robert Kraft. Apparently, they think he sullied the Patriots image by allowing a porn star to wear the precious jersey.

The only good part of this fiasco is that the world was introduced to BiBi Jones, who is apparently a major groupie. She says she did not fuck Gronkowski, but she did sleep with Phoenix Coyotes player Paul Bissonette and Dan Uggla (that should get him into the Hall of Fame). She also claims she was used as a recruiting tool for an agent. He took her to spring training in Arizona in 2010 and would take her out to bars at night.

"You know, baseball players would come and I’d introduce myself. And then I got to hook up with baseball players and have fun. It was like a dream come true because I love athletes and baseball’s my favorite sport."

Jones claimed that she slept with "more than 10" players.

But Jones says she didn't fuck Gronkowski even though she wanted to.

Gronkowski should feel remorse about that.

Legal Sea Food Ads

My favorite seafood joint, Legal Sea Food is out with a series of cheeky new ads. They start as faux-environmental ads with messages like "Save the Trout" but they end with "save the trout so we can grill that baby up real nice."
As an environmentalist, an animal lover, a food lover, someone who believes the natural order of the universe allows even requires animals to eat other animals, and an avowed smartass, I love the ad campaign.
But of course the PETA wackos are up in arms over it.

Haven't We Given the Native Americans A Lot Better Things to Complain About?

When the Navy SEALs completed their mission and killed Usama bin Laden, the message they sent back home was "Geronimo EKIA."

That meant Geronimo (the codename of the mission), enemy killed in action.

Now some Native American groups are objecting to the nomenclature.

The name Geronimo was picked precisely because that Indian hero was hard to catch and spent years evading the forces out to get him. But Native American groups don't see it that way. They see it has their hero being compared to the second-worst person in the history of the world (following Hitler).

I can sort of understand their upset but they have to understand that the name Geronimo was not chosen because Geronimo was a terrorist, but because he was an enigma, like Bin Laden, hard to find.

I wouldn't have been insulted if the mission had been called Koufax, because Bin Laden was hard to hit.

For Some of These Dweebs They May Never Get Another Chance to See This

I took Human Sexuality when I was at Syracuse, just about everyone did. It was a big lecture on a weeknight, then a smaller discussion group once a week. It was fun, we talked about sex, a moderately attractive girl in our group told us that she liked to be tied up. It was fun, I got a good grade, probably a B or better, and I learned a thing or two about a thing or two.

But we never saw anything quite like what they saw in the Human Sexuality class at Northwestern.

A woman was publicly penetrated by a sex toy on stage. A naked non-student woman was repeatedly sexually stimulated to the point of orgasm by the sex toy, referred to as a "fucksaw."

The class has about 600 students, 120 of whom stayed for the after-class demonstration. It was optional, and the material wasn't going to be included on the exam.

Students were warned repeatedly about the graphic nature of the demonstration though I doubt they would have left when they said "after class we're going to pleasure a volunteer with the fucksaw."

As for the controversy, maybe it was a bit much, but no one was forced or coerced to watch so if everyone who was there wanted to be there and chose to be there, then why should we make a big deal about it?

"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but watching naked people on stage doing pleasurable things will never hurt you," Professor Bailey said.

And isn't that the point? Sex is so demonized in this country (granted it does have it dangers) but for the most part, sex is good and fun and people are so uptight about it. But those people shouldn't be able to telling consenting adults what they should do.

And if you've read this far down you were just hoping to see a picture of Faith Kroll, the woman who was pentrated.

What's The Point of Playing College Basketball at BYU?

BYU forward Brandon Davies was kicked off the team for a violation of the school's honor code.
Davies's transgression: he had sex with his girlfriend.
In addition to turning the entire campus into a champagne room, students are also told to be honest, so he had an attack of conscience and admitted to his intercourse.
Not only did the selfish prick fuck his girlfriend, he fucked Jimmer Fredette too. Without Davies, the team's leading rebounder, the Cougars lost to New Mexico, one game after beating San Diego State for the second time this year.
Next year Davies will likely transfer to another school (Arizona State?) where he can get all the pussy he wants and not feel badly about it in the morning.
But you mean to tell me Jimmer Fredette is scoring 40 points and not scoring after the games?
I don't believe that for a second, I just think he does it without the pangs of guilt.