If At First You Don't Get Punished, Trip, Trip Again

Grayson Allen vaulted himself into second place on the most-hated Duke players list (no one will ever top Christian Laettner) by trip Elon's Steven Santa Ana.
What's worse, Allen threw a fit on the bench after being pulled from the game, seemingly acted as if his trip/kick to the back of the knee was warranted because Santa had grabbed his arm.

He also didn't seem to remember that this is the third time in his brief career that he has done something like this.
After the first two, Allen received nothing more than a reprimand from the conference and some excuses from his coach, which I objected to.
Now arrogant Coach K is once again behaving indignantly, saying that the discipline is between him and the player.
Infractions need to be met with consequences or they become habits. That is what has happened here and I think will continue to happen, as I would be shocked if Allen was suspended for more than 3 games, because Duke's 4th game from now is against a good Florida State team, and the game after that is against an even better Louisville squad.
Note: the reaction that Allen is getting has nothing to do with his color. He's an asshole, a jerk, a dirty player and if color plays a role at all it's because people perceive that a black player engaged in similar misbehavior would have punished far more severely, a long time ago.

Baseball Been Berry Berry Good to Me

When Roberto Clemente first came up with the Pittsburgh Pirates reporters coined him "Bobby" and frequently tried to embarrass him by spelling phonetically the things he said. Sentences like "I heet the boll..." actually appeared in newspapers.
But that was 50 years ago. That would never happen in our more sensitive culture now.
Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez (whose phantom injury sent the Mets to the World Series last year) did an interview with Houston Chronicle columnist Brian T. Smith in English, even though Gomez doesn't speak the language very well.
Here's what Smith wrote in the newspaper:

"For the last year and this year, I not really do much for this team. The fans be angry. They be disappointed."

Gomez thinks his exact quote was used that way to embarrass him.

You don't need to be an English major to figure that out.

I Would Have Shot the Parents Too

The tragic death of Harambe the gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo is the direct result of negligence by the parents of the child who ended up in the gorilla enclosure.

Yes accidents happen. Small children do things and go places they are not supposed to. But any good parent would have rounded up their child before they even thought of getting close enough to the gorilla enclosure to fall in.
As sad as I am about the death of the gorilla I feel the Zoo had no other choice. A tranquilizer dart wouldn't work fast enough on an animal that large. Entering the enclosure, even a trained professional could have frightened the animal.
They did what they could to do save the child's life. Now if they could only do something about his parents.

Grayson Allen Does It Again

Duke's new white asshole Grayson Allen tripped another player.
Last time it was Louisville's Raymond Spalding.
This time it is Florida State's Xavier Rathan-Mayes.
With three seconds left in a 15 point game, Allen sticks his leg back to intentionally trip Rathan-Mayes.



The ACC issued a stern reprimand and Coach K stood by the decision not to suspend his star player.
Especially because this form of discipline worked the last time.
Coach K said this type of reprimand is the standard for a flagrant-1 foul, and that Allen shouldn't face more severe punishment than other players guilty of similar infractions.
But I think the thing he's missing here is that's it's his second time in short succession.
Had a player punched two opponents, surely he'd be suspended.
Committed two overly aggressive flagrant fouls, maybe not.
But anyone can see that this entitled prick needs a punishment more severe than a sharp rebuke.

Duke's Next White Prick

Throughout Duke's reign of terror as college basketball's most successful franchise, the school has always had hated white players.

Christian Laettner is most obvious but also JJ Reddick, Greg Paulus and others.

Here to take the mantle is Grayson Allen.

He's the guy who propelled Duke to the victory over Wisconsin in the National Championship game.

And now he is the guy who deliberately tripped a Louisville player

Why I Created the "Typical Yankees Fan" Tag

Curt Schilling tweeted congratulations to his daughter Gabby for getting accepted to Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island where she will be playing softball.

As usual, the trolls had to chime in, two in particular. Hollywood (@primetime227) and The Sports Guru (@Nagels_Bagels) went back in forth with a series of vile tweets about her.

"Teach me your knuckleball technique so I can shove my first in your daughter."

"I'm sure she can fit a nice Easton in there as well for some DP."

"Curt bleeds more from his sock than Gabby does from her pussy when she's on her period."

"Curt rocked the mullet- business in front, part in back...Gabby prefers the party in the back. #ButtStuff2015"

Even though the last one is kind of funny, those are still terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad things to say -- about someone's daughter -- in a public forum -- fully intending for the target of the comments to read them.

To Schilling's credit he posted the entire thing on his blog and really went after them.

And in the end, he taught them an important lessons about trolling and consequences.

Adam Nagel has been suspended by Brookdale Community College.

"Hollywood" Sean MacDonald was a part-time ticket seller for the Yankees. He isn't anymore. The Yankees fired him immediately saying they "have zero tolerance for anything like this."

Now We Can Call Her Ma'am Again

Sen. Barbara Boxer will not seek a new term when hers expires in 2016.
This seems like a good time to bring up this famous clip:



This has to be one of the pettiest, nastiest things any human being has ever done in such a public forum.
"I worked so hard to get that title."
Oh yeah bitch, he's a fuckin general in the Army. I'm pretty sure that was a harder title to attain.
And by the way, in the military, ma'am is how you show respect for a female superior.

Animal Cruelty at CitiField

I went to the Mets game yesterday and came across an unconscionable act of animal cruelty. A dog sitting on a rug, dressedin a Mets shirt and hat, wearing sunglasses and somehow holding a pipe in its mouth.
Most of you know I hate animals in clothes, so just walking by this poor pooch made me uneasy. But I went back and took a picture because I thought I should expose this.

But turns out when I googled this, many people had previously written about this dog, Coffee, not just for the clothes, glass, pipe and the fact that he's forced to perform to raise money for a lazy human who is too stupid to get a real job, but some observers think he was wearing a shock collar which his irresponsible human owner could use to shock him if he got up, or moved.

I really wish PETA would get involved and protest this cruelty, or put enough pressure on the Mets to ban him from the premises. Surely panhandling on private property is grounds for ejection.

Time's Up Macklemore

Ironic that a guy who preaches tolerance and acceptance of everyone would be an anti-Semite.
But that's what happened when Macklemore came out for a performance in a disguise, big nose, bushy beard very similar to offensive caricatures of Jews used by the Nazis and others.

And just by pure coincidence he wore this get-up while singing Thrift Shop, a song about going to such great lengths to get a bargain that you will sleep on sheets that smell like piss.

Once he realized his mistake, he quickly apologized. Oh no, wait he didn't, he blamed the beholder.

"Some people there thought I looked like Ringo, some Abe Lincoln. If anything I thought I looked like Humpty Hump with a bowl cut....I wasn’t attempting to mimic any culture, nor resemble one. A 'Jewish stereotype' never crossed my mind."
He said it was "surprising and disappointing" that the disguise was slammed as anti-Semitic.
"I acknowledge how the costume could, within a context of stereotyping, be ascribed to a Jewish caricature," Macklemore wrote. "I am here to say that it was absolutely not my intention."
And when he got called out by courageous famous Jews like Seth Rogen he responded with ""A fake witches nose, wig, and beard = random costume. Not my idea of a stereotype of anybody."

I actually think he was trying to dress as Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory.

The Sherman-Crabtree Incident

Richard Sherman is an asshole. He is a trash talker, and an awful jerk.
Look at what he did to poor Erin Andrews after the NFC Championship game.



"Well, I'm the best corner in the game, when you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree that's the result you gonna get. Don't you ever talk about me."
"Who's talking about you?"
"Crabtree. Don't you open your mouth about the best. Or I'm going to shut it for you, real quick. LOB (Legion of Boom)!"

He eventually gave a calmer interview with Ed Werder and was completely composed during his postgame press conference when he continued to call Crabtree "mediocre."

Fine, if this is how Sherman wants to be and it makes him happy, that's fine with me.

But the righteous indignation when someone comes back at him is where he really pisses me off. Trent Williams punched Sherman, Sherman went after Skip Bayless, and there are other incidents, and each time Sherman wants to play the innocent victim.

This time he tried to blame Crabtree for allegedly trying to fight him at a charity event. Do you think Crab did that for no reason? They'd never met before? They play twice a year and Sherman does the same shit but Crabtree can't react during the game so he waited until he got to a place where he could beat Sherman's ass.

Sherman is a very good player, and he is a smart guy. But being a Stanford graduate doesn't make you a saint. He's not charming, he's seldom funny. He's just a trash-talking asshole who starts shit and then likes to complain that he was victimized.

Remember if he hadn't derisively patted Crabtree on the ass, this wouldn't have happened. If he hadn't given that ridiculous pro wrestling interview to Erin Andrews, this wouldn't have happened. And then, even with the advantage of hindsight he stuck to his guns.

So now the situation has gotten way out of control, and he's becoming a huge villain and even his coach and teammates are calling him a distraction, now he wants to apologize.

It's a little too late buddy. Next time just shut your mouth and play.

It's Not Free Stuff, It's Stealing

A problem with the backup system that controls the payments for EBT cards forced the entire system to crash over the weekend. That meant in 17 states people could not use their food stamp debit cards to buy food.
In most stores, they simply declined to accept EBT cards while the system was not functioning. In two Wal-Marts in Louisiana, store management (apparently with the approval of Wal-Mart corporate) continued to accept EBT cards as payment, even though the system was unable to debit users' accounts.
When word of this got around, people flocked to the stores and filled their carts up with anything they could find knowing the stuff would be free for them.
Cops had to be called to control the crowds, and eventually the system started to work again and debit customer accounts for their purchases.
Since they didn't have enough money on their EBT cards or any money of their own, these "shoppers" just abandoned their full shopping carts and walked out of the store. One woman tried to buy $700 worth of food and other items, with only 49 cents on her card.
Here is what the aftermath of this incident looked like:



Store employees were forced to clean up and restock as much as they could. But much of the food couldn't be put back, so it had to be discarded.

Customers who actually wanted to pay for their food couldn't shop there the next day because the shelves were wiped clean.

Wal-Mart chose not to prosecute in this incident, saying it would basically take the loss on all stolen and damaged items. So why did Wal-Mart give the go-ahead to let these people "buy" the stuff even though the EBT cards weren't working? Because they wanted to make sure people could get food to feed their families.

Note: Wal-Mart is an evil giant corporation that doesn't care about its customers and exploits its employees.

Many people are excusing this "looting" saying it's human nature to take as much as you can get it.

But in truth, it's stealing. Taking something that doesn't belong to you and not paying for it is stealing. Even if there is no mechanism to ever catch you.

This gets back to a larger point I have about the decline of American society. A certain segment of the population is economically worse off than others. We have taught these people that they are poor because others are rich, and they always be poor because the rich will always be rich. That general philosophy leads to incidents like this when people feel they are entitled to things, and they are not stealing, they are taking from an evil big corporation which has subjugated them in the first place.

But nothing has done more to keep poor people in poverty than the attitude that they will always be in poverty.

Note: Did you notice anything strange about that video? At about 15 seconds in you can see carts packed full of stuff, and in the background, a perfectly unmolested display of bananas. Even when they are free no one wants bananas.

Adrian Peterson is the Jacksonville Jaguars of Fathers

Adrian Peterson is a hell of a football player. But he's a shitty man. And a worse father.
In case you don't know (Mrs. Poop, Razor, Di10 perhaps), Adrian Peterson is the star running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He's one of the best players in football.
On Thursday his 2-year-old son was severely beaten, allegedly by the mother's new boyfriend. On Friday the child died. On Sunday Adrian Peterson played a football game.
Before during and after the game, writers who wanted to seem nice, praised Peterson for playing through his grief.
Only one problem: Peterson wasn't grieving.
The facts of the matter are likely something like this:
Nearly 3 years ago Peterson fucked a woman he probably never saw before or since.
That encounter led to a baby. It's not clear who, if anyone, knew for certain the baby's paternity. But Adrian Peterson didn't. It wasn't until 3 months ago that he found out the baby was his, that's when the baby's mama finally contacted him (maybe she didn't even know) and told him a paternity test for her boyfriend, the man she was presumably with at the time of her tryst with Peterson, came back negative.
Peterson had three months in which to arrange a visit from Minnesota to South Dakota (neighboring states) to see his child. He didn't. Why? He didn't care.
He didn't even see the baby for the first time until the child was on life support, being kept alive by machines.
That's why he thought nothing about playing in a football game two days after his nominal child died, in a horrible grisly fashion.
Please don't tell me about all the people who played after losing a parent or a sibling, or coaches who coached after grown children were killed. This is a small child, murdered in the most horrific way possible. The least he could have done was honor this child's memory by pretending to care enough about him to take a day off of work.
And I don't want to hear the crap about everyone grieving differently. He wasn't grieving. He has as much emotional connection to this child as you or I.
Any real parent who loves their children can tell you there is no way they would go to work, or play a game, or even leave their bedroom if this happened to their kid.
His callousness towards his own flesh and blood is disgusting enough, I just wish I didn't have to read about how great he is for being that way.

Note: Adrian Peterson has two other kids with two other women. He has a son named Adrian Jr. whom he actually seems to care about.

Angry Biker Gangs Terrorize New York

There's a wild story whipping all of New York into a frenzy, but it's a little complicated so let me explain it as best as I can.

A huge biker gang tried to take over the West Side Highway, slowing down and blocking on ramps, so they could have the entire road to themselves. One car, driven by Alexian Lien got caught in the middle.

One biker, Christopher Cruz, purposely cut off Lien, who bumped into his rear tire. The bikers then surrounded the car, slashed his tires and one biker even opened the driver's side door. When that happened, Lien hit the gas and sped away, running over one of the bikers on the way out of Dodge.

CORRECTION: the first confrontation occurs 30 seconds into this video, when he bumps Cruz, and then runs over Edwin Mieses. You can see the right side tires go up in the air. The second confrontation occurs at about 4 minutes and 30 seconds into it:



The guy who got run over is Edwin Mieses. Both his legs are broken, he's in a medically-induced coma and could be permanently paralyzed.

Instead of helping their friend (maybe a couple did), the majority of the bikers took off after Lien. The finally caught up with him when he had to stop due to the slashed tires, attacked his car, eventually pulled him out and beat the shit out of him in front of his wife and 2-year-old daughter.

They beat the shit out of him pretty good, and slashed his face.

But he doesn't have any serious injuries. He will not be charged with a crime. The biker who started it all, Cruz, has been charged with menacing, reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child.

Remember, his 2-year-old daughter was in the backseat. The same seat where one of these assholes was breaking the window.

This driver, Alexian Lin, did the right thing. He tried to protect his family from an attack. The only thing he should have done differently was run over more of them.

What Do You Give Me For? Kris Jenner and Bitch Who Stole a Baseball From a Little Girl

Take a look at this video from a Houston Astros game. A middle-aged woman reaches in front of a kid to get a ball. That's bad enough, but when she drops the ball, it rolls to the kid, and she literally tears it out of the girl's hands. And if that's not enough, she high-fives her friends about it.



How much does she look like Kris Jenner?

Chris Brown Should Be Locked Up

Chris Brown obviously hasn't learned any kind of lesson from the ass-kicking he gave Rihanna. His latest violent incident victimized someone who can actually sing, Poop favorite, Frank Ocean.
Details are sketchy at this point but it seems they argued over a parking space at a recording studio in Los Angeles. Entourages got involved and Brown reportedly punched Ocean in the face.
Brown didn't stick around long enough for the cops to arrive, which is why Ocean is being reported as the victim.
Brown's entourage says Ocean started it by talking shit and blocking in Brown's car. They also probably think Rihanna was asking for it.
But I actually hope it did happen that way. I would hate to see Brown continuing to be have in an aggressive and violent manner.
And I certainly hope he didn't hurl and homophobic slurs at Ocean, though I wouldn't be surprised.

I Wanted to Punch Him Too

Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman is a professional shit-stirrer. Redskins lineman Trent Williams had enough of his shit by the end of the playoff game last week. Sherman was miked up for NFL Films, you can see him throughout the game being a dick to opposing players, the referees, and even the fans.



I'm surprised that Sherman didn't retaliate, and that a punch from a guy as big and strong as Williams didn't hurt more.

Go Away

The New York Jets are having a crisis, on the field, in the front office and even in the stands. Their lovable unofficial mascot, Fireman Ed is retiring. I don't really give two shits about Fireman Ed. I thought he was cool at first, when he was just a devoted fan who cared passionately about the team.

But as time passed his schtick grew old, lost its novelty and the notoriety seemed to go to his head.
And evidently I'm not the only one who feels this way, Juice even told me I shouldn't write this post because Fireman Ed isn't important enough.
And while neither Juice nor I would ever fight Fireman Ed or insult him over this but some fans did. And that is why Fireman Ed is retiring. According to him, too many fans have taken out their frustrations with the team on him. At games, in the bathroom, in the parking lot, people yell at him like he is part of the team, he isn't, or they think his tickets are comped, they're not.
So I have no sympathy for Fireman Ed, he milked his very benign gimmick for all it's worth and now, appropriately it is time for him to move on.
But if I had to choose a dog in this fight, I would pick Fireman Ed over the drunk, obnoxious louts like those heard here berating the Jets as they went into the locker room at halftime of the Thanksgiving Massacre against the Patriots.

Pleasantly Plump News Personality

Before I offer my thoughts on the subject I want you all to watch this, even if you’ve seen it already, watch the entire thing. WKBT news anchor Jennifer Livingston got a viewer e-mail critical of her weight and here is her on-air response:




I disagree with her on several parts of this:
1) She chose this profession. It is a very superficial profession by nature. If she didn’t want to be judged largely based on her looks she should have chosen a different profession. And if she wanted to be on TV despite that, she should learn to ignore.
2) I thought the letter was fair and thoughtful. It didn’t call her a fat pig or a dumb bitch. It pointed out her visibility in the community and how she should be a better role model. If she were smoking cigarettes on air she’d get 100 letters like this. We’re going to create laws restricting what people eat but we can’t point out when people are overweight. That’s a little too much “love the sinner, hate the sin” for me. I’m a big personal responsibility guy we can’t expect people to have proper eating habits if we apologize for them when they get fat as the result of those bad habits.

Note: please don’t come at me with “maybe she has a medical condition.” There are very few medical conditions that make it impossible to be thin. Certain ailments or medications make people put on weight. But even so, it is possible to control your weight, maybe a little more difficult perhaps.

1) This guy was just being mean. He had no prayer of opening her eyes to healthy eating habits and an exercise regimen. He just wanted to be nasty and hurt her feelings. Not sure why that would give him any satisfaction but that’s why he did it.
2) I think she looks nice. She’s very pretty. She’s a little overweight, not obese on a fair standard and at her age probably not at risk for many obesity-related illnesses.
3) “If you are at home talking about the fat news lady, guess what? Your kids are going to go to school and call someone fat.” She’s right about that. Parents are the examples for kids. To teach them how to have healthy eating habits and to teach them how to treat those that don’t.

Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him

A University of Tennessee student was dropped off at the local medical center with a blood alcohol content of above 0.40. The legal limit in most states is 0.1. And 0.4 death can occur.
You wouldn’t think someone could drink enough to become that intoxicated, you’d throw up or pass out first. Turns out he didn’t drink that much. The zany brothers in the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity were giving each other alcohol enemas, also known as butt-chugging. Police found this out after “extensive questioning” of the brothers.
Here’s how it works: you put a rubber tube in your ass; then pour the alcohol into the tube with a funnel. Why would you want to consume alcohol through your ass? There are a lot of capillaries and blood vessels in the rectum, therefore the alcohol gets into your blood stream faster and it skips the filtering by the liver.
It actually seems pretty ingenious when you think about it, except for the part about nearly dying.

Am I Supposed to Be Sad About This?

When I saw this e-card I immediately thought of one person: Jared G. He was exactly the person described here. He played football, he was nominally cool, girls thought he was cute and he thought he was hot shit. One time, on the bus back from a trip to Quebec, I was trying to sleep and he was fucking with me. Putting his hands in my face, grazing my nose, so I jumped up, slapped his hands away and told him to cut the shit. He punched me in the face and broke my glasses. While we never had another incident and I seldom was around him, I always felt like he thought he was better than me because he had gotten the best of me that day, and because he was cooler in high school.

Last week Jared G. killed himself. He shot himself in his car in the Village Greens Shopping Center in Arden Heights. He was married with a young child. After college at CSI, Jared opened up a beer distributor on Manor Rd (or bought the existing one) with at least one of his other high school football buddies who also lacked skills translatable to a job in the real world. Evidently that venture failed because in the article about his death the Advance says he was driving a cement truck.

They say living well is the best revenge so I guess it would be hard to deny I got revenge on Jared. Me working where I work and him driving a cement truck is the real world equivalent of me being on the football team and him running track.

I wouldn't say I am happy he's dead, nor that I smiled when I heard that he died, but I don't feel any sadness for him either. I am sad that his young child has to grow up without a father, but other than that nothing. Obviously his life didn't turn out the way he hoped when he was walking around the Susan Wagner hallways in his cool football jacket with the white leather sleeves. Mine did. I don't want to sound angry about an incident from 17 or 18 years ago, because I seldom if ever thought about him, until that e-card reminded me. But it does give me a weird sense of satisfaction. Sort of like Walt, at the end of Season 4, "I won."

This is not the first time I've been insensitive to someone who committed suicide. Read the comments attached to this post to find out what a jerk I am.