The World is Full of Morons

The New York Times used the following headline for Bridgegate:

Christie Ally to Plead Guilty in New Jersey Bridge Closings

One clever twitter users changed that to Kirstie Alley (and photoshopped her picture into an NYT screen grab) and a bunch of less clever Twitter users believed the actress was involved, or maybe they were just playing along.

Why I Created the "Typical Yankees Fan" Tag

Curt Schilling tweeted congratulations to his daughter Gabby for getting accepted to Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island where she will be playing softball.

As usual, the trolls had to chime in, two in particular. Hollywood (@primetime227) and The Sports Guru (@Nagels_Bagels) went back in forth with a series of vile tweets about her.

"Teach me your knuckleball technique so I can shove my first in your daughter."

"I'm sure she can fit a nice Easton in there as well for some DP."

"Curt bleeds more from his sock than Gabby does from her pussy when she's on her period."

"Curt rocked the mullet- business in front, part in back...Gabby prefers the party in the back. #ButtStuff2015"

Even though the last one is kind of funny, those are still terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad things to say -- about someone's daughter -- in a public forum -- fully intending for the target of the comments to read them.

To Schilling's credit he posted the entire thing on his blog and really went after them.

And in the end, he taught them an important lessons about trolling and consequences.

Adam Nagel has been suspended by Brookdale Community College.

"Hollywood" Sean MacDonald was a part-time ticket seller for the Yankees. He isn't anymore. The Yankees fired him immediately saying they "have zero tolerance for anything like this."

The Twitter Trolls Have Pushed Mike Goldberg Too Far

Mike Goldberg, UFC's regular announcer, has been removed for one week from his gig doing NFL games on Fox.
What happened is long and complicated and begins with your faithful friend, The Poop.
Apparently I have never written about my hatred for Goldie on the blog so I will explain it all.
Bruce Buffer normally ends his pre-fight schpiel by announcing the name of the referee. Without fail Mike Goldberg would repeat the name of the ref right afterwards. So it would go a little something like this:

Buffer: The referee this evening, Herb Dean.
Goldberg: Herb Dean is our referee.

This drove me insane, but on its own, not enough to make me take action. But when you add in all the other stupidity he spews (TON says at least once a fight card Joe Rogan basically has to tell him to shut up because he's saying something blatantly wrong), that would be enough to drive anyone to his breaking point, but not me.

I didn't start trolling him on Twitter until he missed an event while dealing with a "complicated health issue" which many people believe was rehab.

His replacement Jon Anik was so bad I actually tweeted my support for Goldie.

Note: The ashes is a cricket match between Australia and the United Kingdom. The Ultimate Fighter between Australia and the United Kingdom was dubbed "the Smashes." Anik said this 100 times, at least, every time he had the chance.

Here is my original tweet to him and the conversation it started:

Fast forward to last Sunday when Mike Goldberg was calling the Vikings-Lions game. According to all reports it was one of the worst broadcasts ever, with Goldberg constantly misidentifying players (like saying a Teddy Bridgewater pass was intended for Golden Tate -- who plays for the other team) to just not being able to correctly identify down and distance (he said a clear first down was "close," an obvious loss was a gain of "one maybe two" and 2nd and 9 was "3rd and 17"). All in all it seemed like Goldie was back on whatever it was that sent him to rehab in the first place.

As people on twitter are known to do, they gave Goldberg the business after the game. Calling him out for his inept performance. Goldberg wasn't having it though, responding to the twitter trolls with gems like this:

And this:

So that's what got him benched for this week. Let's see if Fox has the temerity to send him back out there. Let's see if Goldberg has the serenity to ignore the trolls. And let's see if I can provoke him into calling me a douche.

Twitter Vigilante

A new twitter account has caught my attention. The account is titled "No, You Mean Fewer" and seemingly all this person does is search for the word "less" and when used incorrectly he/she responds with "no, you mean fewer..."

Where's Paulo?

To promote tornado week The Weather Channel did something pretty funny. They put correspondent Dave Malkoff (not that Dave Malkoff) and an intern in a room with a lot of fans. And they streamed it live on the internet. They turned up the wind each time they hit a milestone of people using the #tornadoweek hashtag. Malkoff also promised to write the names of his new followers on a piece of paper and tape it to the wall. So of course I did, see if you can find this blog's name.

Note: it is visible but you may have to expand the picture to see it.




Upper right corner for those of you too lazy to search.

Cereal Offender

Kevin Garnett is a well-known trash talker who will say anything to get under an opponent's skin. His tactics worked on Carmelo Anthony who completely lost his cool because of Garnett's physical and verbal assault.
Melo tried to confront Garnett after the game, waiting in the tunnel for him to board the Celtics team bus.



Why was Melo so angry? KG reportedly told him that his wife, LaLa tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios. Melo got a one-game suspension for this which I felt was totally unjustified. Melo didn't actually do anything. He may have contemplated something, or attempted something, but like attempted murder, it's unfair to punish someone for a crime they didn't commit. If anything, for infractions actually committed, Garnett should have been whacked.

But at least LaLa has a good sense of humor about it, suggesting on Twitter that they all deserve a check from Honey Nut Cheerios for all the free advertising.

It's Becoming a Thing

I have been known on Facebook to punctuate particularly fun days with a status update reading "I didn't even have to use my AK," one of the final lines from Ice Cube's classic "It was a Good Day."
Turns out I am not the only one to use this song to express a particular feeling or emotion. Superhot SI Swimsuit model Ariel Meredith did it on twitter. And responded to me reply:

Is it Weiner's Weiner?

The big question in Washington DC this week is did Representative Anthony Weiner send this picture



to this woman?



Let's start at the beginning. The above photo of someone's weiner, in boxer briefs was sent from the Congressman's twitter account, purportedly to a young female follower/admirer. Gennette Cordova of Seattle is one of roughly 40,000 people who follow Weiner on Twitter. She's one of very few, 200 or so, followed by him. And probably the one of those who has described Weiner as her boyfriend in a tweet.

But the picture actually went to all of Weiner's followers, not just her.

Weiner says his account was hacked. His name is Weiner, it's the internet, people play jokes. And that's why he does not wish to file a police report to apprehend the perpetrator of this crime. Surely hacking the twitter account of a United States Congressman is an offense serious enough to warrent police intervention.

To make matters worse, Weiner responded with his typical sarcasm and obnoxiousness to questions about the picture, even calling one respected reporter a jackass.

The PR nightmare this begat forced Weiner to sit down with every single cable network and try to tell his story. But he may have only made things worse.

He insisted he never sent the photo. But he would not say for sure that it is not a picture of him.

That leads to only one conclusion: this is a picture of him. The picture had to have been taken by the person in it. And he would have to know if he had ever taken this picture or one like it.

So now there are two choices: either he sent the picture. Or a hacker knew about the existence of the picture and hacked into his personal computer to get it.

If there were a hacker going into his personal computer, stealing his intimate photos and disseminating them on Twitter and he doesn't want to prosecute that person, I find that odd.

In order for Weiner's story there are just too many coincidences that would have had to have taken place. According to Occam's Razor, we have to believe it was Weiner's weiner and he meant to send the picture.

The Biggest Oops Ever

The Poop has received thousands of hits over the years from horny people looking at this picture of Norah O'Donnell.



Now Norah O'Donnell committed perhaps the biggest fuckup ever. Immediately when the news broke last night she tweeted about it. Only she screwed up one tiny little letter and wrote "Obama shot and killed."

It's All God's Fault

As the great Jesus Shuttlesworth once said "How come you never hear Jesus being praised in the losers' locker room then?"
After this horrible play the Bills Steve Johnson did the exact opposite.





Johnson may have had his Pedro Cerrano moment. Fuck you God, I do it myself.

Blame It on the Burritos

Judging by the tweets from Syracuse basketball players during their stay in New York City for the Big East Tournament, they need to be more careful when crossing the street and practice some better nutrition.
I love Chipotle's Burrito Bowls as much as the next guy but it's not exactly fuel for great athletic performance.
And certainly not two nights in a row, Scoop!

Why I Love Daniel Negreanu

With the World Series of Poker starting in Vegas this week, following the live updates online put me in the mood for some poker.
Thanks to my DVR Expander I had all 6 weeks (12 hours) of the NBC Heads Up Championship saved.
Watching those episodes made me fall in love with Daniel Negreanu all over again.
First, Daniel showed up for a match against Scotty Nguyen, dressed as Scotty Nguyen and staying in character the entire match. He even responded to shouts of "Go Scotty!" from the railbirds with "thank you baby."



Then during a match against Vanessa Rousso (which he lost), he serenaded her with "I Kissed a Girl."

Side note: The producers of the show loved to sprinkle in popular music going to break but thankfully they only used "Poker Face" once.

So after that I looked up Daniel on Twitter and found out that not only is he on Twitter, he is frequent with his updates, providing details of hands almost as they happen. And then there was this great tweet:



Update: Daniel made the final table of the limit hold em 6-handed tournament. I watched some of this tournament live on the internet (after he said he would stop twittering during the final table) and Daniel had a huge chip lead 3-handed, but when it got heads up he kept getting outdrawn (and in limit it pays to keep calling sometimes). So Daniel finished second (good but not a bracelet) and Brock Parker won (that bastard!)