I Don't Know How Many Words There Are in a Video

Three videos from the internet that are worth watching:

San Francisco Giants remake the "Full House" opening theme


Daniel Negreanu does a clean version of NWA's "Fuck Tha Police"


Best video of the Chinese Explosion. I strongly recommend you watch the entire thing

If a Picture is Worth 1,000 Words How Many Are in a Youtube Video?

Gawkers catch the collapse of a massive sinkhole in Baltimore:



This is why we don't bring Diesel to Chase's baseball games:



And this is why Billy preaches safety first:

The Man With the Flat Hair

Chase's favorite player, Iman Shumpert made one of the plays of the year with this incredible putback dunk on a missed shot.



What's amazing is that he got hurt the very same day as Derrick Rose, with the very same injury. That dunk shows Shumpert it all the way back, not just physically but mentally as well.

And while I'm sharing great plays, I might as well include this one from Kirk Niuewenhuis. Unfortunately, he's in the minor leagues because he can't hit for shit. But this was a hell of a play.

Something Good in This World

Last summer a 29-year-old man with Down Syndrome, named Ted Kremer joined the Cincinnati Reds as batboy for a day after his parents won a charity auction.
His effect on the team was so profound that they invited Teddy back, to be the batboy again on April 17th. In the 6th inning he asked Todd Frazier to hit a home run for him.



Teddy looks pretty happy, doesn't he?



"He is so funny," Frazier told Cincinnati.com. "He said, 'come on man, hit me a home run. I love you.' And I said 'I love you, too. I'll hit you one. It was great how excited, that look, I started smiling before I even hit home plate.

"He's such a great guy… Even if you have a terrible day, you can't be mad with a guy like that around."



There's a lot of bad stuff going on in this world, so it's nice to see pure unadulterated joy on the face of someone who really deserves it.

They Read Mrs. Poop's Letter On Air

It is normal to tell immature jokes. It takes the edge off the intellect. Thank you Dr. Ablow. Here's the link since embedding doesn't seem to be working: http://video.foxnews.com/v/1875190013001/

The Best Part of Being Sick

As an adult sick days suck. It's not even nice to get a day off of work, and being home is no fun. But as a kid, sick days were joyous. No school, and you could lay in bed watching TV. You could watch shows you had never seen before (remember, we didn't have DVRs back then), if a aired weekdays at 10am, you never ever saw it. I remember watching Press Your Luck on sick days. And I remember, once we got cable, watching ESPN. This was in the early days when monster truck shows and CBA replays littered the airwaves. ESPN also aired classic NFL Films Presents. The man behind those shows (which continue to this day, a great piece on John Amos, the actor, aired recently) is Steve Sabol, who started the company with his father, took over and then hosted the shows until an illness forced him out of that duty two years ago. Steve Sabol died this week.
Sabol played an essential role in the NFL's popularity with NFL Films. It was a great showcase for the game and for the players, as they pioneered the now common practice of miking up players and coaches during games. The music, of course, the music. He used to bring in an actual orchestra to NFL Films to record the music. The voice-overs from John Facenda. All that stuff made NFL Films great and Steve Sabol a legend.

Here is my favorite NFL Films segment: a poetic recap of the 1968 New York Jets Super Bowl championship season. It was called "Joe and the Magic Bean" and it was voiced by Sterling Holloway, who was also the voiced of Winnie the Pooh.

If you prefer a more serious approach. Here is Orson Welles's narration of the same clip:

A Beatdown is in Order

We all know kids can be cruel but this takes it to a new level. Four junior high school students in Rochester, NY harassed a bus monitor so horribly they reduced her to tears. You don’t have to watch the entire 10-minute video, just enough to get the idea.





They called her fat, a troll, poor, stupid and then at the very end came the clincher. One of the students said “you don’t have a family because they all killed themselves because they didn’t want to be near you.” Little did they know (or maybe they did know), her son killed himself 10 years ago. The video cuts off right after that remark so we don’t know how she reacted. But when I first heard this story I said she should have just ignored them. They were kids being kids calling her fat and she should have just let it go. But it went on for 10 minutes. And then that personal comment at the end. She should have killed them all.



The video went viral and an effort was started to raise $5,000 to send her on a nice vacation. It already has $208,000 as of mid-Thursday.

When Scoop Met Shane

The whole world, with the exception of Billy, was heart-broken for poor Shane when he realized his favorite player, Scoop Jardine would not be back with Syracuse next year.
But after Syracuse's game against Kansas State, when they arrived back on campus Scoop had a little visitor waiting for him at the Melo Center.



I'm surprised Shane wasn't more excited to see his hero, unless there had been more to that meeting than we saw on video.
But I am not at all surprised that he preferred the tissue paper over the actual gift.
One gift Shane got from Scoop was a small basketball, which his mother found him with the next morning.

At Home...Shooting Free Throws

We knew someone was going to come up with a Jeremy Lin tribute song to the tune of "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam.
The clever writers at "Late Night" came up with this gem and it was beautifully performed by Jimmy Fallon.

Who Wants to Taste My Schweddy Balls?

Ben & Jerry's will be offering for a limited time a new flavor, "Schweddy Balls," based on the brilliant Saturday Night Live sketch starring Alec Baldwin.



The flavor is made up of "vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum balls and milk chocolate malt balls."

Latest Lip Synch Disaster

At the Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting Boyz II Men performed "This Christmas." When they were done and the next act was introduced, they starting "singing" again, even though they were nowhere to be found.

Is There a Lot of Dry Air in Chicago?

Check out this story on bed bugs from CBS 2 in Chicago.



I can sympathize with this women. I really can. I know what it's like to have dry, hard boogers in your nose. You need to clean house but there is a TV camera and a person talking to it a few feet away. I understand all that. But eating it is where she lost me. She needed to flick it onto the floor and pretend nothing happened.

But good for CBS for exercising their copyright and removing this video from youtube. If you're going to stand in the way of content sharing, doing it to protect an employee from worldwide embarrassment is a pretty good reason.

And He Got To Keep The Ball

Astros fan tries to catch a foul ball, but backs off at last second -- and his girlfriend gets plunked.



I love the way the reporter was like "girl, you need to ditch this loser."

Where Were You on Christmas?

During her incredibly boring confirmation hearing Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagan spiced up the proceedings with some good ethnic humor.
In reference to the underpants bomber Sen. Lindsey Graham asked her where she was on Christmas.



"Like all Jews, I was probably at a Chinese restaurant"

I just wish they hadn't dragged Chuck Schumer into this. I didn't really want the world to know he's one of us.

Did The Commissioner Really Call Our Pick a Gorilla?

With the fourth pick in the 2010 NFL the Washington Redskins select Trent Williams, offensive tackle, Oklahoma.

That's what I expected Roger Goodell to say, but what he actually said was slightly different.

He called him "Silverback." Apparently that is Williams's nickname and at a meeting the day before he joked with the commish to call him that. It's actually kind of funny for Goodell to do that I just hope it doesn't lead to every player asking for his nickname to be mentioned.

And I also hope it doesn't lead to people getting furious that Williams was essentially called a gorilla on national TV.

I hope it does lead to a long and successful career protecting the blindside of Donovan McNabb and whomever else the Redskins get down the line.

The Yankees Sign an Old Crafty Veteran

MLB Network's Harold Reynolds and Hazel Mae interview the Yankees non-roster invitee to spring training.

Here's the link

This is actually pretty cool. He is at spring training and I guess they have a camera set up to do this. Pretty funny idea. I wonder if its just Yankees camp or every team.

I Think She Split Her Pants

British bobsledder Gillian Cooke was so focused while preparing for a run at the World Championships she didn't notice a sudden chilly breeze:



EMBED-Bobsled Wardrobe Malfunction - Watch more free videos

I guess its not very aerodynamic to wear undergarments under those suits:



But that was only the second funniest pants-split of the week. The funniest occurred on American Idol when a guy tried to do a split -- and he still made it to Hollywood.

Are the Jets a Cinderella?

A Carry, A Travel and a Flagrant Foul

LeBron James gets two steals on this play, the ball, and a theft of a couple french fries from a kid in a Kevin Durant jersey.
Steal of the Night indeed.

Note: this video encapsulates a new problem I'm facing. Do I post the user-friendl youtube videos or take them directly from the source and make Poopheads sit through an ad. I decided to go with the nba.com version because I think it's the honest thing to do, plus it won't get taken down in a few hours. I like having these videos for posterity and for the Poopheads who only check the blog once a week or less. If you are a daily reader who hates sitting through 30 second ads to watch a 20 second video, blame the idiots who refuse to check this blog everyday.

Gossip Girl: Staten Island

Saturday Night Live jumps on the recent wave of anti-guido sentiment with a kind of funny skit called "Gossip Girl: Staten Island." The incredibly hot Blake Lively saves the sketch.