Of all the columns I write on an even semi-regular basis this one is my favorite because I love baseball and over the course of the season many interesting quirky things happen that need to be shared. I also enjoy doing my statistical analysis which for years I did with no purpose, now I can pore over stats and have a reason to do so. So begins another season of Baseball is Poop:
He's a Vegetarian
In the latest effort to spite his father Cecil Fielder (a man who looks as if he eats steak and eggs for breakfast and washes it down with a glass of steak juice), Prince Fielder has given up meat for good.
After reading a book on the poor treatment of animals, Prince has gone the Damino-route and given up animal flesh. He tried being a vegan but couldn't hack it.
It will be interesting to see if a 6 foot 260 pounder can keep his home run strength through an entire season without a juicy burger every once in a while.
Fielder will be making only $670,000 this season despite hitting 50 homers last year. Fielder is pissed off that the Brewers didn't take care of him (they didn't have to, but should have given him $1.5 mil to appease him) and is looking forward to a huge arbitration award for next year.
Oh Those Bases on Balls
Giants starting pitcher Noah Lowry is showing symptoms of Steve Blass disease, which also afflicted Rick Ankiel.
In his second appearance of the spring Lowry walked 7 batters in the first inning and two more in the second before being taken out. He allowed 4 runs, without a hit. He threw 24 pitches before a Rangers batter swung at a pitch.
In 2007, Lowry went 14-8 with a 3.92 ERA and 87 walks in 156 innings.
Put a Helmet on
Dodgers third base coach Larry Bowa does not like the new rule requiring base coaches to wear helmets. He says he's willing to pay a fine rather than wear it. "I'm willing to write out a check for whatever the fine is for every game. Whatever 162 games is, I'll write out a check for it."
Tony Kornheiser suggests the fine should be $1,000 for the first game, $10,000 for the second game and $1 million per game for each game after that.
I have a different suggestion. I think the first time Bowa should be forced to read this article from Sports Illustrated the family of Mike Coolbaugh, who killed when he got struck in the head by a line drive while coaching first base. And he should be forced to look at the heartbreaking pictures of Coolbaugh's two young sons.
If he still wants to forsake the helmet after that he should be fined $1,000 per game in a check payable to a trust fund for Coolbaugh's children. If he wants to contribute $162,000 per year ($161,000 the first year) for the college education of those two little boys (I think they have another kid now), then he can buy his right to suffer a potentially deadly head injury.
After MLB threatened to suspend Bowa, he relented and put on the helmet but he still doesn't look comfortable doing so.
9 comments:
From the picture it looks as though there may have been a misunderstanding. Someone should tell him he only has to wear it on the field and not while sitting in the dugout.
Appreciate the shout out re: animal rights. I think he'll hit 50 homers this year even without the beef.
Fielder is a loser. Fuck the animals. You want to not eat meat b/c you think it is healthier or you don't like it then fine but stop with the high and holy protection of a few mistreated animals. Eat Kosher or Halal. There are so many fucked up things in this country that affect humans that it is amazing how these people take a stand for animals. And yes humans are more important than animals. If I needed to save one human or 100 fucking cats I would choose the human.
It depends on the human..lindsey lohan or 100 cats, i think i go with the cats
As for Bowa, make him sign a waiver and then hope he gets hit in the head..fuck him
I can't speak for Fielder but can for myself, which is more than the millions of tortured animals used for food and fur can do.
And I balk at the notion that being in favor of animal rights implies that animals' lives are any more valuable than humans. I'm against the mistreatment of those who can't defend themselves (human or otherwise), and if that makes me seem high and holy then so be it.
On a lighter note, I'm totally with jleary as to lindsey lohan. She sucks.
I'm with Damino. Just because you want animals to be treated fairly doesn't mean you favor them over humans.
Though in my case I do, because most humans are bad and guilty of something.
I don't believe that Kosher is all its cracked up to be. I think some crooked rabbi gets a check to supervise and looks the other way when violations of kashrut are made.
Cats are cunts
Nails, that is the angriest comment on the history of this blog!
Maybe not over 100 cats but people have been killed over far fewer than 100 cows- if you doubt this just drive out to midwest and try to steal a couple of cows.
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